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“AITA For Telling My Husband His Name Suggestion For Our Unborn Baby Is Idiotic At Best?”
“AITA For Telling My Husband His Name Suggestion For Our Unborn Baby Is Idiotic At Best?”
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“AITA For Telling My Husband His Name Suggestion For Our Unborn Baby Is Idiotic At Best?”

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Giving your baby a name is a hard decision that will have life-long consequences, so you have to consider all the connotations the name has, how it can be shortened, what nicknames it has, what other people have that name, and so on.

But sometimes parents love a name so much, they don’t even realize how many problems it could bring to their child. A future mother shared her frustrations on Reddit about how her husband is ignoring the fact his chosen name will make people associate his kid with a serial killer and got offended by his wife’s resistance, so she asked if she was the delusional one after explaining the situation.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Picking a name for your child is hard because because of all the connotations it can have, like reminding people of a serial killer

    Image credits: Bruna Rabello (not the actual photo)

    The original poster is a 35-year-old woman who is expecting a baby. She finally got pregnant with her 37-year-old husband after trying for a decade while trying to combat infertility and experiencing miscarriages, so the couple is very excited.

    Being pregnant is not a field trip, but there are more relaxing activities like dreaming about what the baby will be like, what kind of person they will grow up into or what their interests will be. There is also a lot of time to think about what name you would like to call them and what nicknames they could have.

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    Image credits: [deleted]

    It is not unusual to search for names in the family and give children their grandparents’ name. This family was planning on doing just that as the husband really loved his grandfather and unfortunately, he passed away a week before the OP wrote this story.

    Grandpa’s name was Theodore and it’s a name that would work both for a boy and if it’s a girl, she would be named Theodora. The problem is that the family’s last name is Bounde, which is pronounced [bun-dee]. Just like the infamous and feared serial killer Ted Bundy.

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    This future mom was talking about names with her husband and unfortunately, his beloved grandpa died recently

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    Image credits: [deleted]

    Ted Bundy is a pretty-well known name, but if you’re confused why it is not great for a kid to have a name resembling this particular one, then you should know that that man kidnapped, assaulted and murdered about 30 women. At least that’s how many he confessed to, but police suspect that the number might be higher.

    He operated in seven states in the US between 1974 and 1978 and he actually had a pleasant face and was considered charismatic, so he had no trouble luring in his victims. However, his nature was much more cruel and he even kept some of his victims’ heads in his apartment as trophies.

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    Judging from the comments under the post, and there were nearly 5k of them, people still know this name and the first thing that comes to mind after hearing the name is the serial killer. He is so well known that there are quite a few movies made about him.

    Somehow the husband didn’t see the issue with it because in his mind, the most important Teddy Bounde was his grandfather, and his child would just be named after him. However, the wife was convinced that others won’t perceive it that way because the only Ted Bundy they know is the one that killed people.

    That made the husband think they should honor him by giving the grandpa’s name to their baby

    Image credits: [deleted]

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    The problem was that the grandpa’s name was Theodore and the child’s last name would be Bounde, which is pronounced the same way as Bundy, the serial killer

    Image credits: [deleted]

    The wife’s resistance only showed the husband that she hates his grandpa, even though she just wanted people to not associate her child with a really cruel criminal. What is more, the husband’s family was on his side and wanted the child to have the beloved grandpa’s name.

    Luckily, at least the OP’s parents are on her side and understand the consequences that such a name could have on this baby because who will stop and think of any other reason parents would give their child a name that sounds just like the infamous killer’s?

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    The wife protested the name but the husband got mad that she hated his grandpa, which was not the case at all

    Image credits: Fort George G. Meade Public Affairs Office

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    Finally, the husband got some sense put into him when even his brother who loved his grandpa as much as him started saying the same thing

    Image credits: [deleted]

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    The wife kind of lost her patience and told her husband that his suggestion is “idiotic at best, sociopathic at worst” which didn’t help him see her point and made him think that his wife hated the person who he adored so much. That is why the OP thinks that she might have been the jerk in the situation.

    Redditors didn’t think that and very well understood that it would be wrong to make it seem that a child was named after a serial killer, even if that was not the case, because nobody would care about the true origin of it. Kids and even adults get bullied for more normal names than this one, so if it can be avoided, the future mom has to stand her ground and enlighten her husband and his family about how serious this is.

    Image credits: [deleted]

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    The couple found out the baby will be a boy, so they decided to still honor the husband’s grandpa but give their son his middle name, Silas

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    Image credits: [deleted]

    In an update we found out that the story had a happy ending and to avoid such fights in the future, the couple decided to try out marriage counseling

    Image credits: [deleted]

    It seems that she succeeded in doing this because the OP posted a happy update. Turns out, her husband talked to his brother and SIL who managed to explain to him that a name can have a huge effect on someone’s life, especially because they also live in the area where the crimes took place, where the killer was arrested and then even broke out of prison.

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    The OP guesses that her husband just needed to hear that from someone who loved his grandpa as much as he did and who was grieving as painfully. After that, they both apologized to each other for the way they spoke and agreed to go to marriage counseling, as well as grief counseling to learn to deal with the loss of a loved one, because it was probably the pain that clouded the husband’s judgment.

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    Image credits: [deleted]

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    In the end, in order to pick a name, the couple decided to find out the baby’s gender even though they didn’t plan to, however, it was necessary at that point. When they got the news that it’s a boy, the parents both agreed that they would still honor the grandpa by giving their child his middle name, which was Silas.

    We would like to know if you would have agreed to name your child Teddy Bounde or you would feel too uncomfortable about the similarity to the serial killer’s name? Do you think the mom was being too dramatic and inconsiderate? Or was she too soft in her tone? Let us know the thoughts you had while reading the comments!

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    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

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    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    Read less »

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    What do you think ?
    Kusotare
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Name him "Theodore", but call him "grandpa". Confuse everybody.

    Sasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My reacher has a corgi named grandpaw. The twist? Shes female.

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    Horatio Jay
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, sorry to her husband, but all parties involved need to agree. Adolf, Atilla, and Donald used to be perfectly acceptable names, as well, but things change. Although, I guess Atilla is still popular in some parts of the world.

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    Adam Belaire
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Silas is a great name. Happy to hear you guys are trying to work through it all.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, I like it so much better than Theo or Ted.

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    Holly Stevens
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just make it a middle name. Children deserve their own name

    Ivana Bašić
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could have named him Al. He'd be very popular in Polk High.

    advice5cents
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every (involved) parent should have veto power when naming their child

    Ally MacMann
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA, both parents need to agree on the name of their child! Calling the name idiotic might not have been the most diplomatic way of putting her foot down but if he can't get the message any other way, it's a totally understandable reaction. Seperate from that, regarding the grief counseling her husband has asked her to attend with him (where she said she's sure it will make her more compassionate towards his loss), I don't think it's necessary and I don't think it would help. It doesn't sound like compassion was the problem, the problem was that he insisted on a name that was an absolute no for so long that she blew up.

    Mega Gay 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my God NTA. How could your husband not understand why a name that is literally Ted bundy wouldn't go over well?

    Zoe's Mom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love is a very strong emotion and many times we just don't see 'it'.

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    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice to read one of these stories on here that actually has some sort of healthy solution.

    Laugh or not
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going to say the same thing. This is one AITA story where there are actual arguments for both parties (grief does mess with one's head and heart) and people solve things like responsible adults.

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    holliwog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Umm. Couldn't they have called him Theo?? This one was a waste of time.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I was thinking...Ted Bundy went by Ted or Theodore but never Theo.

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    Tenacious Squirrel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just call him Theo or Theodore and don’t shorten it to Ted/Teddy. Or use it as a middle name if it’s so concerning that others might make the association. I think this seems to have been blown out of all proportion. Couples should be able to discuss issues like this and come to an agreement, it’s hardly a catastrophic problem.

    Sasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have obviously never talked to any kids with horrible names. Even as adults theyre massively annoyed at best. Even if they dont get bullied, the "really thats your name?" "Yes really. I know." Yadda yadda conversation that will have pretty much every single time they introduce themselves to anyone, gets really f*****g old once youve had it about a hundred times. Easier just to not name your kid like a stripper, or a murderer or with 3 x in the name or with a silent y or something.

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    Sasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honoring your loved ones is great, just not at the cost of like 12+ years of misery for your child. Get a tattoo or something, alter your own life, not your childs. Silas is a pretty cool name though, and not so old-fashioned that it sounds weird.

    The Toast
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im glad you guys worked this out in other situations people wont be so cooperative (at the end).

    Eli Klimentova
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m sorry but even as I read the name, without woman explaining why she doesn’t like it, my first thought was Ted Bundy. It’s a bad idea

    Miguel justino C
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s so selfish to not think past YOUR own emotions. I would’ve had so many nicknames in middle school for this. I knew a kid named Fuel because his dad wanted a moto x racer. It’s all he cared about and now he drives a tow truck. Poor kids

    Geeki Nikki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make Theodore the middle name.

    Jorge Gonzalez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can name the baby Amadeus or Theofilus. It has the same meaning. Funny anecdote:. I learned in a music course that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart preferred to sign his letters to some friends as "Theofilus" instead of Amadeus

    SilverSkyCloud
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    those are great names........ if you want the kid to get bullied like hell

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    MagNat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so refreshing to read that they resolved the conflict like adults and made a sensible decision.

    Cory hamlin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could've just made it the middle name.

    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, for once seems like reason, eventually has won. Also, could have given the kid Theodore as a middle name. Flip grandpa's first and middle, everybody is happy.

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Silas Theodore Bounde would make a pretty cool name took, just saying.

    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going to suggest making it his/her middle name, but it seems it all worked out in the end. I don’t blame her for not wanting to name her child after a serial killer even if that wasn’t the intent

    plain bOrEd not panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "My husband and I are pregnant" I cringed reading this. Girl, YOU are pregnant, and YOU will give birth, also YOU will breastfeed... Anyway, if HE is pregnant too, according to your testimony, let him name the child something as idiotic as your sentence. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

    the electric frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why don't they just call the kid theo bounde? It doesn't sound anything like ted bundy

    KT
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grieving can take a person to some very intense places. I get why he wants to honor his grandfather its a beautiful idea. If its a boy why not give him the middle name of theodore?

    Rahul Pawa
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is one of the best AITA stories I've read on here. I really appreciate that she came back with the update and resolution. She was kinda the AH for being so insensitive. Using grandpa's middle name seems like the obvious solution they could have come to sooner. Great to hear they're going to counseling. I think this all worked out in the end. Also, I highly doubt it's illegal to name your kid Ted Bundy. I don't know if there are any laws about naming kids in the US.

    BluEyedSeoulite
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends by state. There was a guy who was prevented from naming his kid Adolf but I can't remember the specifics

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    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Solar is a good, strong name for a boy.

    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My great aunt married a guy with the last name of Gacy many years ago, and they had a son in 1955 and named him John. After 1978 or 1979, his name became a huge problem for him - so much so that at about 25, he had to start going by his middle name. He lost job opportunities, was harassed by his neighbors because they thought he might related, and eventually he had to move out of Illinois. I think that if this situation can be avoided, it should be avoided.

    everyone's favorite person
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teddy is a really cute name, but with that last name, absolutely no way

    Jennifer .S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's an unfortunate last name, to be pronounced completely different to how it looks at first. Spend your whole life correcting people from saying 'bound'

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They could have given him Theodore as a second name.... By the way: I live in Germany and here it is practically forbidden to name a Baby Adolf or Hitler.

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if your family name is/was Hitler? Did every German or Austrian with that family name, change it?

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    Got Myself 4 Pandas
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My children have middle names that are dedicated to family members who meant a lot to me - I wanted my children to have their own names - I'm not sure I would like to be named after someone -would get too confusing at family events - I struggle to get names right as it is, if there were more than one person with the same name I'd get so confused

    Thomas Es Thomas
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The female version of Theodore is Theresa.

    K Witmer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband vetoed Roland when I was pregnant I had to be ok w it bc we both needed to be a part of deciding the name. It's fair and won't cause resentment if you come to that understanding

    Maria Rodriguez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ur not the AH. He's just grieving. Give him the benefit of the doubt

    UDERSERVELOVE!
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I swear when I first read this, I thought it said "unicorn baby."

    Katchen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They could name the kid Theodore but all take whatever was the wife’s maiden name as their last name.

    look
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NAH. post explains it all lol

    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear Theodora, what to say to you ... you have my eyes, you have your grandfather's name ...

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you never call the kid Ted/ Teddy and stick with Theo as a nickname, I don't really see it being an issue. Sure, there will probably be a few people who pick up on the name but how many people are going to hear "Theodore Bounde, call me Theo" and go to Ted Bundy? I don't really see this as that big of a problem. Feels like maybe there's more going on, as evidenced be the marriage counseling.

    Melissa Hollowell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once again proving 90% of these issues can be resolved satisfactorily by open, honest communication.

    Kayla J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always like the AITA where people actually sit down and realize it's not always about the problem they think they have, but a lot of other dominoes that fell to get them to this point. That they not only talked it out but are dealing with counseling is a good sign for their relationship going forward esp bringing in a new human to their family.

    phil blanque
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your dog...Teddy. Dogs have no last names.

    Maisey Myles
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He will be friends with Solomon Grundy

    Summer Mason
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean 💁‍♀️ worst is they come our like Ted bundy ?

    Thalia Lovering
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it common in the US to remember serial killers after so many decades?

    Starbelly Eleven
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last name, as written, does not make me think of Ted Bundy. If you were going by Teddy or Theo, it's something I would only think of for a passing second, if that. His friends in college may come up with an obnoxious nickname like "serial" or "cereal" that he will probably cherish if it's good-natured and hilarious. Otherwise it's fine. The last name is different enough to not sell the serial killer vibe.

    Stacey Pearce
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry but the way the wife handled it was not right. Telling him the name is idiotic because to her it is just of some stranger who had the same name who was a serial killer while to the husband that name has a huge amount of meaning. I can see why he felt so hurt by what was said. In the end, I am glad you came to an agreed name which sounds wonderful. I hope the counselling helps as I think you need to learn how to talk with respect towards one another and not bring one another down.

    Eli Klimentova
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That name may have a lot of meaning to a husband but the child is the one who actually has to live (date, graduate, job-hunt, among other things) with it. And kids are cruel, I can pretty much guarantee someone will pick up on this. If the husband isn’t willing to give up the name for the sake of his future’s kid peace and happiness, he isn’t ready to be a parent.

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    April Stephens
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I agree Ted Bounde is a pretty much unusable name because of the association, but not because of her reasoning. She says the child would "be made into a social pariah" if he was named Ted Bounde and that it may not even be legal to give a child that name. Those are not the best, most logical reasons. I can't think of anyone who became an actual social pariah because of their name alone. Don't you think most people form their judgments of others on a bunch of factors besides just their name? And it's definitely legal. I think the problem is that it would be an annoyance to the child. My prediction is that most people would find "Ted Bounde" distasteful or interesting or confusing or funny for the first five minutes after meeting him, they'd comment on it once, he'd say "family name," and then the new people would all move on to the next thing while maybe the child would be bothered by having had to repeat that little conversation yet again. It also feels like bad luck or something.

    Is Be
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This story is bogus.

    Kusotare
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Name him "Theodore", but call him "grandpa". Confuse everybody.

    Sasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My reacher has a corgi named grandpaw. The twist? Shes female.

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    Horatio Jay
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, sorry to her husband, but all parties involved need to agree. Adolf, Atilla, and Donald used to be perfectly acceptable names, as well, but things change. Although, I guess Atilla is still popular in some parts of the world.

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    Adam Belaire
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Silas is a great name. Happy to hear you guys are trying to work through it all.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, I like it so much better than Theo or Ted.

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    Holly Stevens
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just make it a middle name. Children deserve their own name

    Ivana Bašić
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could have named him Al. He'd be very popular in Polk High.

    advice5cents
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every (involved) parent should have veto power when naming their child

    Ally MacMann
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA, both parents need to agree on the name of their child! Calling the name idiotic might not have been the most diplomatic way of putting her foot down but if he can't get the message any other way, it's a totally understandable reaction. Seperate from that, regarding the grief counseling her husband has asked her to attend with him (where she said she's sure it will make her more compassionate towards his loss), I don't think it's necessary and I don't think it would help. It doesn't sound like compassion was the problem, the problem was that he insisted on a name that was an absolute no for so long that she blew up.

    Mega Gay 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my God NTA. How could your husband not understand why a name that is literally Ted bundy wouldn't go over well?

    Zoe's Mom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love is a very strong emotion and many times we just don't see 'it'.

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    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice to read one of these stories on here that actually has some sort of healthy solution.

    Laugh or not
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going to say the same thing. This is one AITA story where there are actual arguments for both parties (grief does mess with one's head and heart) and people solve things like responsible adults.

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    holliwog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Umm. Couldn't they have called him Theo?? This one was a waste of time.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I was thinking...Ted Bundy went by Ted or Theodore but never Theo.

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    Tenacious Squirrel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just call him Theo or Theodore and don’t shorten it to Ted/Teddy. Or use it as a middle name if it’s so concerning that others might make the association. I think this seems to have been blown out of all proportion. Couples should be able to discuss issues like this and come to an agreement, it’s hardly a catastrophic problem.

    Sasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have obviously never talked to any kids with horrible names. Even as adults theyre massively annoyed at best. Even if they dont get bullied, the "really thats your name?" "Yes really. I know." Yadda yadda conversation that will have pretty much every single time they introduce themselves to anyone, gets really f*****g old once youve had it about a hundred times. Easier just to not name your kid like a stripper, or a murderer or with 3 x in the name or with a silent y or something.

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    Sasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honoring your loved ones is great, just not at the cost of like 12+ years of misery for your child. Get a tattoo or something, alter your own life, not your childs. Silas is a pretty cool name though, and not so old-fashioned that it sounds weird.

    The Toast
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im glad you guys worked this out in other situations people wont be so cooperative (at the end).

    Eli Klimentova
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m sorry but even as I read the name, without woman explaining why she doesn’t like it, my first thought was Ted Bundy. It’s a bad idea

    Miguel justino C
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s so selfish to not think past YOUR own emotions. I would’ve had so many nicknames in middle school for this. I knew a kid named Fuel because his dad wanted a moto x racer. It’s all he cared about and now he drives a tow truck. Poor kids

    Geeki Nikki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make Theodore the middle name.

    Jorge Gonzalez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can name the baby Amadeus or Theofilus. It has the same meaning. Funny anecdote:. I learned in a music course that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart preferred to sign his letters to some friends as "Theofilus" instead of Amadeus

    SilverSkyCloud
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    those are great names........ if you want the kid to get bullied like hell

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    MagNat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so refreshing to read that they resolved the conflict like adults and made a sensible decision.

    Cory hamlin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could've just made it the middle name.

    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, for once seems like reason, eventually has won. Also, could have given the kid Theodore as a middle name. Flip grandpa's first and middle, everybody is happy.

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Silas Theodore Bounde would make a pretty cool name took, just saying.

    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going to suggest making it his/her middle name, but it seems it all worked out in the end. I don’t blame her for not wanting to name her child after a serial killer even if that wasn’t the intent

    plain bOrEd not panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "My husband and I are pregnant" I cringed reading this. Girl, YOU are pregnant, and YOU will give birth, also YOU will breastfeed... Anyway, if HE is pregnant too, according to your testimony, let him name the child something as idiotic as your sentence. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

    the electric frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why don't they just call the kid theo bounde? It doesn't sound anything like ted bundy

    KT
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grieving can take a person to some very intense places. I get why he wants to honor his grandfather its a beautiful idea. If its a boy why not give him the middle name of theodore?

    Rahul Pawa
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is one of the best AITA stories I've read on here. I really appreciate that she came back with the update and resolution. She was kinda the AH for being so insensitive. Using grandpa's middle name seems like the obvious solution they could have come to sooner. Great to hear they're going to counseling. I think this all worked out in the end. Also, I highly doubt it's illegal to name your kid Ted Bundy. I don't know if there are any laws about naming kids in the US.

    BluEyedSeoulite
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends by state. There was a guy who was prevented from naming his kid Adolf but I can't remember the specifics

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    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Solar is a good, strong name for a boy.

    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My great aunt married a guy with the last name of Gacy many years ago, and they had a son in 1955 and named him John. After 1978 or 1979, his name became a huge problem for him - so much so that at about 25, he had to start going by his middle name. He lost job opportunities, was harassed by his neighbors because they thought he might related, and eventually he had to move out of Illinois. I think that if this situation can be avoided, it should be avoided.

    everyone's favorite person
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teddy is a really cute name, but with that last name, absolutely no way

    Jennifer .S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's an unfortunate last name, to be pronounced completely different to how it looks at first. Spend your whole life correcting people from saying 'bound'

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They could have given him Theodore as a second name.... By the way: I live in Germany and here it is practically forbidden to name a Baby Adolf or Hitler.

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if your family name is/was Hitler? Did every German or Austrian with that family name, change it?

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    Got Myself 4 Pandas
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My children have middle names that are dedicated to family members who meant a lot to me - I wanted my children to have their own names - I'm not sure I would like to be named after someone -would get too confusing at family events - I struggle to get names right as it is, if there were more than one person with the same name I'd get so confused

    Thomas Es Thomas
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The female version of Theodore is Theresa.

    K Witmer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband vetoed Roland when I was pregnant I had to be ok w it bc we both needed to be a part of deciding the name. It's fair and won't cause resentment if you come to that understanding

    Maria Rodriguez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ur not the AH. He's just grieving. Give him the benefit of the doubt

    UDERSERVELOVE!
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I swear when I first read this, I thought it said "unicorn baby."

    Katchen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They could name the kid Theodore but all take whatever was the wife’s maiden name as their last name.

    look
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NAH. post explains it all lol

    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear Theodora, what to say to you ... you have my eyes, you have your grandfather's name ...

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you never call the kid Ted/ Teddy and stick with Theo as a nickname, I don't really see it being an issue. Sure, there will probably be a few people who pick up on the name but how many people are going to hear "Theodore Bounde, call me Theo" and go to Ted Bundy? I don't really see this as that big of a problem. Feels like maybe there's more going on, as evidenced be the marriage counseling.

    Melissa Hollowell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once again proving 90% of these issues can be resolved satisfactorily by open, honest communication.

    Kayla J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always like the AITA where people actually sit down and realize it's not always about the problem they think they have, but a lot of other dominoes that fell to get them to this point. That they not only talked it out but are dealing with counseling is a good sign for their relationship going forward esp bringing in a new human to their family.

    phil blanque
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your dog...Teddy. Dogs have no last names.

    Maisey Myles
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He will be friends with Solomon Grundy

    Summer Mason
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean 💁‍♀️ worst is they come our like Ted bundy ?

    Thalia Lovering
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it common in the US to remember serial killers after so many decades?

    Starbelly Eleven
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last name, as written, does not make me think of Ted Bundy. If you were going by Teddy or Theo, it's something I would only think of for a passing second, if that. His friends in college may come up with an obnoxious nickname like "serial" or "cereal" that he will probably cherish if it's good-natured and hilarious. Otherwise it's fine. The last name is different enough to not sell the serial killer vibe.

    Stacey Pearce
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry but the way the wife handled it was not right. Telling him the name is idiotic because to her it is just of some stranger who had the same name who was a serial killer while to the husband that name has a huge amount of meaning. I can see why he felt so hurt by what was said. In the end, I am glad you came to an agreed name which sounds wonderful. I hope the counselling helps as I think you need to learn how to talk with respect towards one another and not bring one another down.

    Eli Klimentova
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That name may have a lot of meaning to a husband but the child is the one who actually has to live (date, graduate, job-hunt, among other things) with it. And kids are cruel, I can pretty much guarantee someone will pick up on this. If the husband isn’t willing to give up the name for the sake of his future’s kid peace and happiness, he isn’t ready to be a parent.

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    April Stephens
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I agree Ted Bounde is a pretty much unusable name because of the association, but not because of her reasoning. She says the child would "be made into a social pariah" if he was named Ted Bounde and that it may not even be legal to give a child that name. Those are not the best, most logical reasons. I can't think of anyone who became an actual social pariah because of their name alone. Don't you think most people form their judgments of others on a bunch of factors besides just their name? And it's definitely legal. I think the problem is that it would be an annoyance to the child. My prediction is that most people would find "Ted Bounde" distasteful or interesting or confusing or funny for the first five minutes after meeting him, they'd comment on it once, he'd say "family name," and then the new people would all move on to the next thing while maybe the child would be bothered by having had to repeat that little conversation yet again. It also feels like bad luck or something.

    Is Be
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This story is bogus.

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