Mom Of 2 Prefers Spending Time With Kids Over Hanging Out With Hubby’s Friends, Drama Erupts

People say that our early twenties are the best time of our lives. When you can have fun, hang out with friends – and generally spend time as if tomorrow will never come. However, sooner or later this period passes, replaced by new worries and problems. And many of us desperately miss these times, like our irretrievably lost youth.

The husband of the user u/Desperate-Hyena1934, the author of today’s story, apparently misses these times too. And his strong friendship with a young colleague, alas, has now brought only chaos and endless arguments into the author’s family life.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post is married, she and her husband have 2 kids – and he’d been a great dad until recent times

Woman holding toddler outside at sunset, capturing a warm moment, linked to 28YO wanting to hang out with work buddy.

Image credits: Helena Lopes / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The man is 28 years old, and his bestie at work is 22 – he lives another lifestyle, with hangouts, booze and whatnot

Text post about a 28YO wanting to hang out with his 21YO work buddy and involving his wife and girlfriend.

28YO wants to hang out with 21YO work buddy and girlfriend, trying to involve his wife in social activities.

28YO man shares story about hanging out with his 21YO work buddy and involving his wife in social plans.

Text discussing a 28YO wanting to hang out with his 21YO work buddy and his girlfriend, involving his wife too.

Image credits: Desperate-Hyena1934

28YO and 21YO work buddies enjoying drinks outdoors at night, smiling and socializing on a string-lit walkway.

Image credits: Devin Nelson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The author’s spouse also tries to party with his new friends and wants to get his wife involved

Text discussing a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and managing lunch expenses daily.

Text discussing a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and girlfriend while involving his wife.

Text describing a stressful lake outing with a 28YO, his 21YO work buddy, and his girlfriend while others are drunk.

Text about a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and his girlfriend while involving his wife.

Text excerpt discussing a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and involving his wife.

Text discussing a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and girlfriend, and involving his wife.

Image credits: Desperate-Hyena1934

Four young adults enjoying a casual outdoor picnic, highlighting a 28YO with his 21YO work buddy and girlfriend.

Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

However, the only time the woman spent with them was a nightmare as she had to take care of 2 kids, while the 3 other peeps got drunk

Text excerpt explaining lack of interest in being besties while a 28YO wants to hang out with his 21YO work buddy and girlfriend.

Text discussing a 28YO wanting to hang out with his 21YO work buddy and involving his wife in the plans.

Text expressing confusion about feeling weird for not wanting to deepen friendship so husband can spend more time with work buddy.

Text excerpt about getting advice from a comment thread, focused on enjoying time with kids and family bonding.

Text about a 28YO wanting to hang out with his 21YO work buddy and his girlfriend, involving his wife too.

Text excerpt discussing family dynamics and enjoying time with women without kids, related to 28YO work buddy and wife involvement.

Text about preferring PG fun, avoiding partying and drinking, and challenges with unreliable babysitters after having kids.

Text excerpt discussing parenting priorities, fatherhood, and rare occurrences of substance use in family context.

Text passage discussing addiction concerns and reluctance to engage in risky activities despite social influence from work buddy and wife involvement.

Text excerpt about not judging friends who try new things and staying on standby to ensure their safety, related to work buddy and girlfriend.

Image credits: Desperate-Hyena1934

The woman believes that the family should be of highest priority, but her spouse apparently doesn’t share her feelings

So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she and her husband are now 28 years old, and they have two children, 4 years old and 9 months old. When they decided to start a family, the man assured her that he was ready for fatherhood and a “serious” life – and for several years, he was nothing but a wonderful dad – but recently, about 8 months ago, everything changed.

The OP’s husband has a 22-year-old colleague at work named “Jake”, and he and his girlfriend have become his best friends over time. So, the husband literally wants to spend every weekend with them. However, it is worth saying that Jake and his girlfriend have no kids and, accordingly, have a completely different lifestyle.

The spouse invariably tries to persuade our heroine to join them in their hangouts, but the woman, having once attended a joint picnic, swore off coming anymore. She devoted all 5 hours to her kids, and her husband and his buddies got drunk to the point of complete insanity. When, the next day, the guy sobered up, they had a quarrel about his new friendship – in the end, the dude actually accused his wife of “being too stuck up.”

It’s not that our heroine is a snob – no, she’s not averse to having some fun either – but she strongly believes that a 28-year-old dad of two kids simply cannot have the same lifestyle as a childless couple 6 and 7 years younger. In addition, the original poster is quite sure that family should be a priority – even if you want to have fun all the time.

Woman feeling stressed while a young child plays nearby, reflecting tension in a family setting involving work buddies and relationships.

Image credits: Keira Burton / Pexels (not the actual photo)

“Yes, sometimes people really miss their youth and the carefree lifestyle inherent in it, and this is completely normal,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “But it’s a totally different matter when this nostalgia interferes with normal life and harms your relationships.”

“Any marriage and any family by default assumes responsibility that an adult takes on. And if you are not ready for this responsibility, then it probably wasn’t worth starting a family at all. In any case, one can perfectly understand this woman who has to not only take care of the children, but also deal with issues with unwanted friendship.”

“By the way, the specificity of friendship per se is such that you can’t force someone to become your bestie. It’s a process that in fact can’t be planned or persuaded. Especially when two people obviously have different life priorities and different stages of their lives,” Irina summarizes.

People in the comments also expressed their huge solidarity with the original poster, as well as their sympathy in this situation. Someone even suggested that, judging by the “symptoms,” her husband is going through a kind of early midlife crisis. In any case, the responders sincerely wish our heroine good luck in resolving this problem. So what do you, our dear readers, think about this case?

Most commenters sided with the woman, assuming that her husband is probably having an early midlife crisis

Discussion about a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and involving his wife and girlfriend.

Text conversation about a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and involving his wife and family.

Comment suggesting couple's counseling as marriage is in trouble with husband wanting to hang out with work buddy and his girlfriend.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and girlfriend.

Comment about a 28YO work buddy dynamic, addressing spouse, parenting, and differences in life phases.

Reddit comment advising to prioritize family over hanging out with 21YO work buddy and his girlfriend.

Comment about a 28-year-old wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and involving his wife in social plans.

Text comment about 28YO wanting to hang out with 21YO work buddy and his girlfriend, trying to get wife involved in plans.

Comment discussing a 28-year-old man wanting to hang out with his 21-year-old work buddy and his girlfriend while involving his wife.

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