Everyone thinks I'm happy and good. I do all the things I should at school, and do chores I need tk do at home. I sit with new people at lunch and text old friends. I spend time with my pets and doing hobbies that I love. So why am I still not happy? Even when I am not sad, I am just fine not happy. What can I do?
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What we need to understand about happiness is that it is a short-term emotional response that we have to external stimuli - like all emotions are. In striving for constant happiness we are like the addict always looking for their next hit and, like the addict, after a while we find we need a bigger hit to achieve the same effect.
I have learnt that what we should be striving for is not the short term emotion of happiness, but a sense of satisfaction. This comes (for me) from living in a way that feels right, having ones basic needs met, being able to do somethings that provide interest and that short-term happiness with people we like(hobbies, etc.) and doing what we need to do to feel like we are in control (bills sorted, housework done, etc.). Once these become practiced and normal, then we can begin to expand our horizons - learn new things, find pleasure in our surrounding world (I LOVE bumblebees for example). Satisfaction. It takes a while but it does come. Try not to overthink it or worry too much, you’ll be ok.
It’s literally a choice, not an easy one, I know. The more you practice the easier it becomes. I’m speaking from experience. I was so tired of being sad and negative, I just made a concise effort to look at only beautiful things that were positive. Counseling helps too!!!
