69 Brides Who Turned Their Wedding Day Into Everyone Else’s Worst Nightmare

Of course, not every bride who knows what she wants deserves to be called a bridezilla. Planning a wedding comes with a huge amount of pressure, and women are often expected to keep track of everything from the guest list to the food while still somehow enjoying themselves.

That can mean carrying much of the mental load before the big day even arrives. Add family opinions and money into the mix, and it is easy to see why emotions can run high.

Being firm about certain decisions is perfectly reasonable. Photographer Matt Mead points out that brides are allowed to have boundaries, especially when it comes to things like how many guests they invite or whether they want an adults-only wedding.

Families may have strong opinions, but that does not mean the couple has to give in. As Mead explains, being assertive is very different from treating people badly.

That said, the stories in this collection show that some brides do take things much too far. The problem usually starts when getting the “perfect” wedding becomes more important than how other people are being treated.

Friends can start feeling like unpaid assistants, while relatives may be expected to spend more than they can afford. Even vendors can become targets, with photographers getting blamed for bad weather or coordinators being expected to somehow solve family drama on the spot.

One good way to avoid that is to remember that your loved ones are there to support you, not work for you. Therapist Landis Bejar told Bustle that getting married may come with “love, support, and celebration” from the people around you, but it does not entitle anyone to endless sacrifice.

Bridesmaids and friends still have jobs, relationships, and lives outside the wedding, so expecting them to be available at all hours can create a lot of resentment.

Money can make things uncomfortable in plenty of situations, and weddings are no exception. Costs can add up very quickly, especially for members of the bridal party who may already be paying for clothes or travel.

Bustle recommends being upfront about what they may be expected to spend before they agree. Plans can also change, so it helps to keep checking in rather than assuming everyone can handle another expense.

The same basic consideration should extend to the people working at the wedding. One photographer told Bustle that vendors may spend most of the day on their feet, which makes something as simple as providing a proper meal important.

“I’m going to do my job better if I’ve been fed,” they said. “We’ve been on our feet for 10 hours, sweating and running around. Like, we need more than a cold sandwich.”

Instead of chasing perfection so hard that everyone ends up suffering in the process, Mead recommends deciding what genuinely matters and letting the smaller things go. Mistakes will happen, and trying to control every tiny detail will only make the whole experience more stressful.

When wedding planning starts to feel like too much, it can also help to simply take a break from it. Mead suggests taking whole weeks where you don’t plan anything at all. Stepping away for a bit can make it easier to come back with a clearer head and enjoy the process again.

At the end of the day, a wedding should still feel like something worth celebrating while you’re planning it. If making it happen leaves you with mostly stressful memories, when are you actually supposed to enjoy any of it?

As Mead reminds couples, the wedding is really about the marriage that comes afterward, so keeping the people you love close matters much more than getting every tiny detail exactly right.