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61 People Open Up About The Things They Wish Everyone Understood About Homelessness
Staying alive on the street can get ridiculously expensive, fast. Without a fridge, a stove to cook, or anywhere safe to leave your stuff, even grabbing a basic meal becomes an everyday battle.
And that’s barely scratching the surface.
In a recent online discussion, currently and formerly homeless — along with advocates who work with them — cleared some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding homelessness. Hundreds chimed in with some harsh reality checks — like losing a job offer simply because one has nowhere to shower before an interview. Or being denied a basic bank account because there is no physical address.
We put together some thought-provoking facts to show what life without a home really looks like.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The “you just need to think long-term” idea seems like one of the biggest misunderstandings.
If you're constantly trying to figure out where you're sleeping, where your next meal is coming from, how to stay clean, or how to keep your belongings safe, I can see how planning months ahead would become incredibly difficult.
It's easy to look at someone's situation from the outside and think about all the things they *should* be doing. But when you're in survival mode, getting through today can take up almost all of your mental bandwidth.
I think people underestimate how exhausting that must be.
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#2
I’ve worked with homeless people and the majority of women I spoke to had left abusive relationships and ended up with nothing.
*Being homeless was better than enduring what they’d endured*.
People generalizing homelessness into an addiction issue is so grossly irresponsible.
StrangeOne 9 hours ago
The husbands take the house and apparently half the contents in the home, possibly a car and the woman is left to find some place to go with the kids. The man takes the kids because the woman is now "transient" and then punishes her more by going after more of her money and custody of the kids. If the woman didn't work for some time, it takes her a long time to find decent, full time work.
It is easy to develop a sense of learned blindness in our daily lives. We think if we don’t look too hard at the person sleeping on the park bench or the car filled with belongings in a parking lot, it is not a problem — and certainly not our problem.
But that’s where we are mistaken. The line between having a roof over your head and losing everything is actually pretty thin for many people.
In fact, for millions of Americans, that line is slipping away faster than ever.
#3
That it can happen to anyone, anytime, and anywhere, it doesn't always have to be because of drugs and alcohol.
MazogaTheDork:
And a lot of homeless people turn to drugs and alcohol after losing their home.
StrangeOne 8 hours ago
Most people are closer to becoming homeless than they are to earning one million dollars.
#4
When most people think about the staggering number of invisible homeless people, they picture people sleeping on park benches. But a big chunk of us actually live in cars, work nine-to-five jobs, and rely on a barely valid gym membership card to get a shower.
nowhereman136:
I had a job, showered regularly, and did laundry. My coworkers couldn't tell I was living in a car that didn't run. Homeless people don't all look like what you think.
Homelessness in the United States has reached a record high, driven by a national housing affordability crisis that is fast spiraling out of control.
Over a single year, the number of unhoused individuals jumped by 18% — climbing from 653,104 people during the 2023 count to 771,480 people in 2024. That is the highest total recorded since official data collection first began back in 2007.
Rising rent prices and stagnant wages are even pushing some people into homelessness for the very first time.
On top of that, the social safety nets built to catch them are completely overwhelmed. Today, local service organizations in the US have enough available housing units to assist only about 16% of households in shelters.
#5
When you're homeless, people will approach you and force their idea of help on you because it makes them feel like they are doing something good. If you turn their "help" down, they will often get angry at you. What is this "help", you ask? Usually it's stuff like little ziplock bags with crunchy nature valley granola bars, hand warmers, and an emergency blanket. Things that basically every homeless person likely has near unlimited access to (depends on where it is). These aren't actual attempts to help, these are ways that these people make themselves feel like they are being charitable. If you ever think to do something like this, don't. Instead, if you want to help, pick one or more people, and REALLY help them. Ask them what they need. What you can help them with. Often there are things that they actually need help with, like obtaining new shoes, a new jacket, a sleeping bag, a tent, clean dry socks that are preferably unused (but many won't be bothered so long as they are clean), backbacks, first aid kits, flashlights, or whatever else they might need.
Homeless people are fed endless garbage. Food that they don't even feed to prisoners. it's really hard to come by a good meal that someone hadn't already eaten a portion of. One of the kindest things that you can do for someone that is homeless is to bring them somewhere and have dinner with them. Help them feel normal. Their basic needs are usually met, what is important for them to get is some sense of being a part of society. Being included in things. If you were to develop trust, and invite them to an event that you are hosting, it would mean the world to them. The moments that I remember the most from homelessness are when people treated me as equals, and didn't treat me like I was some charity case. You don't even need to give anything to someone if you can give them your company. There were many people that befriended me when I was on the streets who weren't on the streets. They often invited me into their homes, or took me places. Fed me meals, helped me get places I needed to go. They treated me like a person.
So my answer is that it's misunderstood how best to help homeless people. The best way to help is to actually ask them what they need help with rather than assuming. The second best thing is to just give them money so that they can buy what they need themselves.
StrangeOne 8 hours ago
One frigid morning before work, I went to my local Tim Hortons. It had to be about -35C with the windchill. Maybe colder. Just getting from the bus stop to the doors my face was stinging. Saw a guy sitting next to the doors looking despaired and defeated. I asked the guy if he wanted a coffee. He was like "Actually, yes. Please." but sounded exhausted and relieved at the same time. I got him a coffee the way he likes it and some food. Poor guy must have gotten kicked out of there, so I reassured him it was cool. I got him set up at a booth. It's rough out there for the homeless. They get kicked out of fast food places all the time. Kicked out of bus shacks. Followed in stores. Kicked out of malls.
#6
Homeless doesn't necessarily mean jobless. Coworker has been living out of their car because their child support was calculated for their previous job and he doesn't have the money to get a lawyer and have it recalculated.
I was homeless because I moved down to Florida with a friend. Was looking for a job, found a job but hard to rent with 1 week of having a job. Worked 60+ hours a week at the gas station chain, including days I'd do 8 hours at one store, walk down a few blocks, pull an overnight at a different store. Then I'd sneak into a little space between 2 buildings sleep for 6 hours and back to work at the first store.
#7
Running water is a huge luxury.
Not homeless but was.
ShotFromGuns:
Even when you're housed, having your water temporarily disconnected or malfunctioning is the most disruptive thing that can happen. Electricity goes out? Fine, whatever, light a candle, use batteries, pull out a book, don't open the fridge. Water stops working? Can't flush the toilet, can't wash your hands, can't shower, can't make any food that requires boiling or washing, etc etc etc. It's my single most hated service disruption. I can't imagine how awful it would be to never have it.
StrangeOne 9 hours ago
I'm very grateful my rent includes water and hydro-electricity. It's the making sure I have all my rent ready at the end of the month and nothing happens to the money that puts me on edge. All it takes is cyber fraud to completely destroy your life.
Homelessness affects people of all ages and backgrounds. Entire families with young children now make up roughly 30% of the unhoused population each year in the US. At the same time, counts are rising among vulnerable groups, including senior citizens, kids, and individuals living with disabilities.
However, homelessness does not impact all groups equally. Black, Indigenous, and gender-expansive communities experience it more due to systemic barriers that have existed for generations.
#8
I was homeless but lucky enough to have a car. People who have the sentiment of “just get a job” don’t understand how hard it is to secure housing even if you are working. I worked 3 jobs, but could never save enough for securing a place to live (especially since my credit was shot) because all my money went to getting showered, gas, and food. You have to pretty much eat out for every meal because you can’t cook, can’t refrigerate things, don’t have room to store things.
God forbid you are street homeless. All these things are 100x harder.
#9
Thankfully not homeless anymore, but behind many of those "I tried to give them food and they refused it! They must be scamming!" stories is a person who's been offered 47 sandwiches that day and still needs tampons, or a jacket, or one of a million other needs that are not food.
I used to get offered so much food every day and it's not like I had a fridge to put it in. But if you refuse someone's offer of food, they immediately assume you're scamming or just want d***s, or whatever.
Also, while a*******n does cause homelessness for some, a lot of the time it's the other way around. Knew a lot of people who started drinking or drugging to cope with all the stresses that come with being homeless, or to just try find a little bit of a release from it all.
#10
I worked for a shelter in the deep south and it was rampant with homeless people stealing anything that wasn't nailed down. It was really sad most of these people had a backpack of stuff that was their entire life and someone would go and steal it.
StrangeOne 8 hours ago
Just think. They likely won't have pieces of ID and bank cards on them because they either lost them, or got stolen.
Many mothers with children become homeless because they are fleeing domestic violence. Studies note that up to 80% had previously experienced domestic violence.
“It’s a lot of women who’ve left (violent) relationships. They need childcare so they can work. Or they need job training. They need legal help. There are kids coming out as gay — when they’re growing up at home and their parents kicked them out of the house. What happens to them?” asks Jeffrey Wolin, a photographer in Chicago and professor emeritus at Indiana University.
“People who lost their job and didn’t have a financial backup or a family that could take care of them. So not everyone has… mental illness. Not at all. But that’s what we think of,” Wolin, who has spent many years documenting the circumstances of people who are homeless, explains.
#11
I'm not homeless, but I worked in healthcare for the homeless for many years.
One of the biggest struggles that we saw, after the immediate problems of food/safety/health, was how impossible it was to navigate any systems that might be able to help you. It is really, really difficult to get much done in our bureaucratic world when you don't have any vital documents and no real way to get any. We actually were in a place with an excellent county health system in which they were eligible for free medical care, but you had to be a resident of that county. How do you prove residency when you have no home, no electricity bills, no place for mail to be sent, often no identification at all? And once you don't have identification, because it's lost or stolen, how do you get an ID? You don't have a birth certificate or a passport or anything. Getting either one of those usually requires...an ID.
For a while I ran a course for med students, and I made a rule that if they could get one single person successfully signed up for any substantial benefits and an ID within a semester, they got an automatic A and were excused from all other duties and requirements. In about 10 years, ONE person was able to get it done, and that was largely because the person had family who had some documents and was willing to help.
StrangeOne 8 hours ago
I lost my wallet a few times. Used to have to bring my birth certificate and another piece of ID to the bank. I've had to replace my birth certificate 2 times. Both times I had a conundrum of needed to pay for my replacement, but I needed a birth certificate as one of 2 pieces of ID in order to replace my bank card. I needed more ID to replace my birth certificate. Luckily, I know my Social Insurance Number by heart.
#12
People think homelessness means you have nothing but a place to sleep, when in reality you’re constantly dealing with dozens of problems at once. Keeping your phone charged, finding a bathroom, storing your belongings, getting clean, staying safe, receiving mail, and making it to appointments can become daily challenges that most people never even think about. It’s exhausting because even simple tasks require planning around not having a stable place to live.
#13
I'm not homeless, but my friend is off and on (personal struggles and family issues, its not important), and it's hard to explain, but like, its expensive being homeless.
Its hard to find and KEEP a job cause you don't have a home, every little bit she gets goes towards necessities like food and stuff. And since she doesnt have a home, theres only so much food she can get at the food bank without a proper place to store it before it rots, so her options are limited. She has to pay nearly 10 dollars every time she wants a shower because that's how much it costs to go to the public pool.
There's all these little things. But then couple that with the fact most people barely treat her like a human being, and it feels impossible for homeless people to crawl out of this hole they're in.
You’ve probably heard the line that people on the street “just don’t want to work” or should “just go get a job.” The reality is that many of them already do.
A University of Chicago study found that 53% of people living in homeless shelters and 40% of unsheltered people had jobs (full- or part-time) during the year they were observed.
When rent consumes almost an entire paycheck, people are forced to choose between keeping a roof over their heads and paying for basic human needs like healthcare, groceries, and medicine. For those already struggling, a single unexpected bill, a criminal record, or a lack of legal support can permanently lock them out of the housing market.
#14
When I was homeless I felt people judge me because of it, I don't drink alcohol, I never took d***s but people usually thinks if you are homeless is because you had a reckless life. Also they try to help you but they don't understand even small things need money. Like going to laundry mat, no money for thr bus and how can you bring all the clothes plus the baby on the bus? how to have clean and ironed clothes for job interviews when you haven't got washing machine. How to focus on x things when you main worry is not having enough food or where would you sleep in 9 days? It's very consuming to be worried about basic needs.
Rick Murray 9 hours ago
Isn't it something like 75% of employeed people are only three paydays away from homelessness? Ask yourself this - if you lost your job and didn't qualify for any sort of support, how long go you go before things got bad?
#15
A lot of homeless people are employed full-time; it’s just that they don’t make 3 times the rent to qualify for an apartment or make enough to pay rent in some places.
David Paterson 9 hours ago
Also, real estate agents want a complete rental history before they'll accept you as a tenant. Any break in rental history and you'll never get a flat.
#16
How insane food waste looks to people who are STARVING and who struggle to get even a drink of water. I was homeless as a kid, and I nearly cried every time I saw people throw food and drinks away while I suffered non-stop... I was hungry enough to eat whatever people threw on the ground.
Worked at a school where they threw away perfectly good breakfast food and milks kids did not buy. I told my boss it physically pained me to be forced to waste it and why, so they opened a food pantry with that stuff instead and let kids get whatever they wanted. Never assume kids are being properly fed no matter what their parents say, your privilege and easy life are dreams to others. Take a minute to consider the suffering of others and make their lives easier when it costs you nothing.
Marija Barcan 10 hours ago
I agree. I don't need to be unhoused to be disgusted with food waste. Companies say it is a liability to give away the food. I think that is insane. Grocery stores refuse perfectly good food because it is "ugly" Cruises, catering for events, coffee shops, really anywhere that food can be, so much goes to waste. It is disgusting.
When you look at today’s economy and the job market, the threat feels closer to home than many care to admit.
About one in three young adults (33%) under age 35 — totaling a record 25.2 million people in the US — live with their parents.
The reason is quite simple: the median home price has reached $430,000, and average monthly rent has climbed to $1,673, according to recent data.
#17
People think the homeless are lazy, but surviving on the streets is actually a full-time logistical nightmare. You spend half your day figuring out where to charge your phone, where to find a place to sleep safely without being harassed, and where to go to the bathroom?
#18
I'm not homeless any more, but when I was I was *locked in* on the *smallest, most immediate* problems. Hungry, I was trying to eat. Tired, I was looking to sleep (as safely as possible). Dirty, I was finding a way to clean up a little. You walk everywhere. Whenever I got some money, it got spent. There's no way to save anything because you are always desperate for something. There was no time for any long-term goals. There was only the goals for the day and goals for the night, it's all I had the energy to do.
EDIT: To answer people asking me how I got out of the situation, it's too long a story and I don't know how to convey it without writing a book. I have written and deleted about 5 paragraphs now and I give up; I'm no writer. The extremely short answer is that I knew my city, I stayed clean of [substances] and cops, I used every resource the best I could, I tried my best to stay sane, and in the end I was only homeless and broke for about 8 months.
StrangeOne 8 hours ago
You're in survival mode. People don't realize how lucky they are to have a job at all. Yeah, it's a grind. But really, you're just focused on getting through the day to enjoy your leisure time and rest. That's a luxury some don't get. Being homeless, even being on benefits, means constant survival and worrying about tomorrow, and when the next chance you'll eat is going to be. Imagine worrying about where you're going to sleep and what will happen to you if you end up sleeping outside. Even at some of the worst jobs I've had, there were times I was still joyous to have a job.
#19
Formerly homeless here. It can happen to anyone, and it is mainly a systemic issue as opposed to a personal one. It's a comforting lie to think that if you just try hard enough, you'll avoid being one of "them." Also, many addictions start after becoming homeless as a way to cope.
Among the most common reasons for homelessness are disability, a*****e family and relationships, and foster care. Once again, it's very easy to say that there are "resources" out there for people who "don't deserve" homelessness. That if you're a real victim and try hard enough, you'll get help. But these resources, if they exist, are stretched thin, and the main factors in escaping homelessness, especially in the aforementioned scenarios, are luck and connections. And it is so, so easy to end up homeless again if anything goes wrong.
At the same time, job security is getting even more fragile. US employers announced over 97,000 job cuts in May 2026, with major companies citing artificial intelligence as a primary driver behind nearly 40% of those layoffs.
“There is going to be more disruption in the future, whether that’s coming from AI, whether that’s coming from political uncertainty, whether it’s coming from other parts of the economy… That is the world that we are in today,” says Daniel Zhao, chief economist at Glassdoor.
Just this week, a senior employee at Anthropic admitted he believed there was a greater than 10% chance the technology could destroy “all humans” in the next decade.
#20
The biggest one is people think its a life-planning failure. Most of the time its survival, full stop. When youre trying to figure out where youll sleep tonight, where food comes from, and whether your bag gets stolen while you shower at a gas station sink, the future just falls apart
Its not some neat story about bad choices either. Sometimes its a breakup, an eviction, a job loss, one ER bill, an a*****e house, and then youre carrying everything you own in a trash bag and praying the bus still runs. Clean clothes, phone charge, a safe place to sit, keeping your stuff dry - thats the whole day, tbh.
#21
Not currently homeless, experienced homelessness in 2013, but recently laid off and fearful that I’ll be back. I think the fear and trauma never leaves you in a way that most people do not comprehend. If you have never suddenly experienced homelessness (for my circumstances, it was sudden, fast, and unexpected) you don’t carry the same fear and trauma that it will happen again. And you carry a mentality that it’s not a matter of if but when.
One last thing, that I say with tears in my eyes, is no one in a job setting sees your survival of homelessness as a ‘win.’ They don’t see the skills you have to develop: improvisation, tenacity, resourcefulness, leadership, decision-making, discipline, etc. I wish there was the same kind of discourse around these valuable skills and qualities, as we see with other communities that deal with populations entering or re-entering workforces. Most people in positions of authority for hiring plainly do not see this in someone where homelessness is a part of their life.
It is easy to feel powerless and wonder what an ordinary person can actually do when faced with such a massive systematic crisis. The good news is that by simply reading through these realities, you have already taken the crucial first step.
The next step is to break down personal prejudice and help actively dismantle the harmful misconceptions around homelessness. All these steps can change how we talk about the issue at our dinner tables, how we vote on housing policies, and how we treat each other.
#22
I'm thankfully not actively homeless now, but the full transition out of it is a long road full of obstacles that I still haven't got to the end of. I am in a deeply-buried form of numb most of the time now, and I don't even realise. I entered this post about an hour and a half ago, because it gave me a rare spark of actually wanting to engage in a way I have rarely felt since the homelessness. I read through some comments and commented feeling actually connected with what we're talking about, which is rare. Being able to connect with something I went through that was so severe, talk with others about it who know some of it- actually makes me feel human again, as this post initially did. However that opened the floodgates to actually connecting with my experience, which is so shocking and harrowing to me in those moments which I "wake up", that I utterly broke down and had to call the Samaritans. I know I went through this, but it's like I've forgotten most of the time- like I know it as someone elses's experience with all the details, instead of it being my own, until I remember the experience as my own. That is far too much to deal with and it triggers a re-numbing that has now become my normality, and I am mostly unaware of whilst in it. That is the insidiousness of the experience of being homeless. It changes you, makes your personality into a bundle of mental scar tissue that you can't escape. It shapes how I see everything, and everything I do.
There are also several direct ways to make a difference. Volunteer, donate, offer professional skills, or spend a few hours at a shelter learning about their specific needs.
Even a small monetary contribution helps keep emergency beds open. The next time you buy new clothes, consider clearing out unused jackets or boots from your closet and giving them to someone in need.
At the end of the day, the simplest acts of support cost nothing. Basic respect, a polite smile, or even a quick nod go a long way toward making someone feel seen and valued.
#24
“Homeless people are just lazy.” We are born to the world without any choice of life and family, and for the first time as a human being, not everyone get the chance or opportunity to pick and get into something that others can achieve effortlessly.
Everyone has their own challenges, it feels bad when you are the one being judged.
#25
It could be YOU.
We are normal everyday people. Employed even (~60% last I heard). One event can happen and you become homeless.
My big one:
**It's NOT: "most of them just like that lifestyle, and there's nothing you can do for them".**
Our system is f****d and most of us are perilously close to homelessness at any moment.
#26
How lonely it can be during the holidays. Combine that with New England winters, it’s very demoralizing.
#27
I was homeless for a while growing up before I got my life together a little more (had amazing help). I was hanging out with my friend one day and she complained about panhandlers; she didn't want to give them money because they were just going to spend it on alcohol or cigarettes. I asked her something like, "what should they do? Save up the spare change until they have the deposit for an apartment?" There's literally no way out without extreme acts of mercy from other people. Even if someone gives a few hundred bucks, it's just a couple days in a real bed with good food.
She always gives a bit now. Hell, have yourself some cigarettes bro. Good luck out there.
Beak Hookage 6 hours ago (edited)
I (a non-smoker) found a pack of cigarettes. I now carry it around in my bag for those occasions when a homeless person asks can they b.um a smoke, which has happened more than once. Which is how I ended up getting an ecstatic hug off a homeless guy who obviously couldn't believe his luck.
#28
No longer homeless but when i was i kept being told "but you dont look/seem homeless" yeah cuz a whole lot of us aren't the ones sleeping in tents or stumbling around. And most people i knew at shelters had or were actively seeking work. The apartment costs in my city are too high and the restrictions on renting are the biggest issues. And the legislature is made up of a bunch of real estate investors so it just keeps getting worse every year.
#29
Was a homeless teen.
The sheer number of people who are perfectly willing to take advantage of you, fully knowing you have no other choice. Even worse, most of those people don't even register that what they're doing is abusing a vulnerable person. They still see themselves as upstanding good people who "helped" a kid, and just "happened" to get something out of it.
(There were also genuinely kind people who went out of their way to help. Those are also very real.).
#30
I think the experience can vary quite a bit depending on the circumstances, but as a male, late 30s, who was homeless for 4 months, no car, no income, no dependents... food wasn't really a problem if you knew where to get support.
Most churches provide food relief and public libraries are an excellent resource for information, free wifi, recharging and shelter during the day.
Shelter was my biggest issue, there's just nowhere outside that will be safe and comfortable. I would head to parks after dark to find somewhere to sleep in a hopefully secluded area, often got woken up by automatic sprinklers or bugs pestering me. I could only sleep for a couple of hours before waking due to discomfort, and felt very sleep deprived every day.
#31
Never been homeless, but I knew someone who lived in foster care until they were 18. You're basically told you're on your own if you don't get adopted before legally becoming an adult. She ended up homeless. This is apparently not uncommon.
#32
I was in a homeless shelter with my three children simply because my a*****e marriage fell apart. I had a steady job and a master's degree but still couldn't manage the rent, the bills, the food and three kids alone. We spent almost a year in a shelter and transitional housing. Most of the other women in the shelter had a similar experience with a***e. Yes, as a result, many of survivors of a***e struggle with various addictions. However, with community support (yes, it takes a community) there is a way out. 10 years ago my children and I were on the street. Now my oldest graduated college, my middle one is currently in college and my little one is in high school. Life can throw us a curve ball and knock us all the way. So nobody should ever, under any circumstances, be looked down upon regardless of their current appearance. Everyone should remember that people on the streets are largely survivors of some sort of trauma! And honestly, all that helps sometimes is a kind word or a smile, and a simple nod of understanding and compassion.
#33
Having to share your living room with the entirety of your city.
You're sick of seeing me, but it goes both ways.
#34
I’m not homeless but work with people who have been, a lot of them took d***s simply to survive. Uppers at night to stay awake and defend themselves and downers during the day to sleep in crowded areas where they were safer. The homeless get assaulted far more than they a*****t other people, yet the narrative seems to be the other way around.
#35
Formerly homeless here:
1) It can be very difficult to feel safe at night when sleeping on the streets. I think at least some of the homeless develop or deepen their alcohol habit as a tool to cope with fear/threat, especially from other homeless.
2) It's actually VERY easy to get food - if you can let go of your ego. Standing outside almost any restaurant and begging for food will get you a full meal and more almost immediately. I'd say 90% of people will buy you something, and over 50% will buy you an abundance of food.
#36
How much people take care of each other. The danger is one thing, but the genuine people really will give everything they have left to hold you up.
#37
You can't get a job without an address. You can't afford new uniform clothes or shoes without a job. It's really tempting to take cash for something illegal because it feels like your only option and if you get busted your back in jail.
#38
I didnt become homeless because i was lazy, i became homeless because no matter how hard i worked the torrent of obligation kept coming and kept rising. Food, rent, transport to work, it kept rising but my wage, my ability to stay ahead of that rising tide, wasnt keeping pace. And then i got hurt, and suddenly i had thousands in debt that i didnt qualify for assistance on, and then i got sick, and avoided a doctor because i couldnt afford to go, so i lost my job, took whatever i could find, a fast food job, where i got stuck because i had to work harder and more hours to try to keep up, exacerbated my injury and sickness, couldnt keep working, and lost everything.
Homelessness happens to you like a flash flood. One day you can barely see the water, then you see it but youre ahead of it, then you stumble, you fall, and youre in it, being carried away, and anyone that can help you wont because its all based on whether or not you were drowning when you last filed taxes. Like if you were at the pool and a lifeguard wouldnt dive in to save you because you werent drowning an hour ago when they called the last adult swim.
#39
A guy I worked with when I was a teenager used to tell me horror stories, he said you always were afraid. That primal monkey-brain part of you that still hides in there that tells you "You're not safe here."
You can't sleep anywhere or you get chased off, you can't s**t or shower anywhere because no where will allow you to do so. He told me Waffle House would let him use their toilet whenever he wanted and would even feed him once a day.
#40
I was homeless at 19. You don’t see as many women in homelessness not because women don’t experience it but because the girls who do end up homeless are the first to be trafficked or k****d.
Someone else mentioned about issues that you faced when you are homeless feel more impending in immediate than when you’re not. What are you gonna do when it’s that time of the month and you don’t have a tampon or a pad and the best thing you got is paper? And unfortunately, publicly having a cycle when you’re homeless can be very dangerous.
#41
Most people assume homeless folks are just "lazy" or "made bad choices." Truth is: a lot of them had homes, cars, careers — then one medical bill, one layoff, one divorce wiped it all out. I knew a guy who was an engineer. Company collapsed, couldn't find work, savings lasted six months, then he was living in his car. He wasn't lazy — life just hit him harder than he could handle. The biggest lie society tells is "if you work hard enough, you won't fall." Reality? It only takes one bad break. Don't judge until you've walked their shoes.
#42
That I'm like a s****y person and deserve to be homeless and that I'd rather be homeless than do something to change it. They have no idea how I got this bad so they have no room to judge. Its just depressing when anyone I meet that finds out I'm homeless seems like they keep their guard up, and I'm a harmless 105lb. 44yr old female. S**t it hopeless here in New Orleans, I have nothing no friends family no one. I wanna give up really badly.
#43
Not homeless anymore but I spent a few years as a homeless youth... you dont go to the homeless shelters. People get sa'd at the shelters. Lucky for me I was told about it multiple time so just never went there. .
#44
Most homeless people are temporarily homeless. They are regular, competent people that experience homelessness because of reasons beyond their control.
If it were the case that homeless people were inherently bad at living life, they would stay homeless forever, but that's not what happens.
These are otherwise normal people who got unlucky. If it can happen to them, it can happen to you. The only way to protect yourself from homelessness is to eliminate it altogether.
#46
That most homeless people can’t just lock in and get themselves out of their situation. You see posts online about homeless people overcoming everything and becoming successful. But that is the exception to the rule not the normal.
When food, shelter, and hygiene are hard to attain, most other things simply cannot be accomplished.
#47
Not me, but my husband was homeless (years and years ago, before smartphones). Didn't have a vehicle or anything to sleep in either.
People don't realize how hard it was (is) to get a job without an address (I imagine the today equivalent would be a phone or ready access to the internet). They have no way to let you know they want to interview you or if you got the job because there's no place to contact you.
The police are not your friends and if they are a******s they will happily f**k with you and destroy or take your stuff (this happened to my husband because he was sleeping in a place they decided they didn't want him to.
#48
That you have to do something bad to alienate your family into not letting you couch surf. LGBTQIA+ youth make up roughly 40% of homeless youth, and also above-representation in homeless adults at 12%.
Many others have family that chooses to exploit the situation such as charging relatives above-market rent to couch surf but with none of the protections a tenant gets. Many homeless people have or at least had full-time or full time equivalent jobs before losing housing, and some were up to date on rent until they became homeless for other reasons like not meeting 3x rent when a wealthier roommate broke the lease.
#49
I'm not homeless though I know many and have worked closely with people who are.
The main misunderstanding is that the majority of them are victims of institutions. Parents, family, social services, in and out of care homes, violent/drunk/a*****e parents.
If I had went through what some of them had went through, a truckload of h****n wouldn't suffice. People need to respect this fact, if you had went through what they did, you'd be in the same situation. Be glad you had a roof over your head and someone putting food on your table, keeping you clean and pushing you to school. Not everyone got that. Respect everyone.
#50
Not homeless but my wife works them so I am pretty keyed into the field. The biggest thing that I think people miss is that "the homeless" are not monolithic. When people think of the homeless they think of junkies passed out in the street, panhandlers and people like that. There are a number of distinct groups of homeless people and they all require different things. The person shooting up in the middle of the street isn't homeless because they don't have anywhere to live, most often they are homeless because they can't maintain a residence due to their addictions or they were so a******d they theu started sleeping where the d***s were. Putting them up in an apartment and hoping that will solve everything is just stupid. Some of them aren't capable of living like a "normal person" and they just end up back on the street when they get evicted. On the other end of the spectrum are the people who are couch surfing or sleeping in cars, quite often they just a place to stay for a few months to get back on their feet. These are the one a "homelessness strategy" could really help while the former need a medical, addictions and legal strategy to hopefully get them to the place where a homelessness strategy could actually help them.
#51
That being homeless and living on the streets is not always the same thing. There are homeless people walking around, looking presentable but couch surfing or showing up to shelters some nights.
And there are people living full time on the streets. Most are kind of living a mix of these two situations.
Of course, there is a third category. The people who live (and look like they live) on the street, panhandle for money, maybe push a cart- but actually have a regular place of their own to stay.
It is not as easily categorized as people think. Legally, if a second family is staying in a one family dwelling- they could be considered homeless.
Also- that the third group is not just a bunch of scammers either.
#52
Everything. Quite literally everything. What's worse is those who claim to understand because they've worked with the homeless.
#53
Former homeless here.
It's been 3 years since I've been off the streets and I'm still having a hard time getting food. Everything goes into rent and utilities. Sometimes I forgo paying my phone bill and take small advances on my banking app so I can eat.
I'm happy to finally have a real roof over my head, but it comes with so many more expenses that I'm honestly thinning that living in a pickup with a camper on the back or an RV is easier.
#54
I am too exhausted and weak to get a job. I won’t be hired when I am a fall risk. Didn’t choose to be homeless and we don’t all use d***s.
#55
I worked in a shelter for about a year and got to hear a lot of stories. The ONLY thing they all had in common was that it was always preceeded by a loss of community.
Every time, something caused the person or family to lose everyone in their lives before losing everything in their lives.
#56
Former homeless teen, had been homeless multiple times growing up with my mom. Once you are a teen or older, people accuse you of d**g a***e or being homeless due to poor choices. Sure, It happens, but I had a lot of professionals treat me poorly because they made assumptions about me based on losing my home. My mom hadn't been able to keep the rent paid and was highly unstable, thus I ended up homeless. As a former child in foster care, I was too scared to go back into the system. You are hungry, have to move constantly, and are hypervigilant - non homeless folks and homeless alike try to take advantage of you - especially as a young woman. I can understand why I would talk to women who had been unhoused for long periods who would use substances to numb themselves and stay awake. Thankfully I was only homeless for 4-5 months. Its a difficult way to live, if you can call it that.
#57
Nights are barbarian time and survival of the fittest. If you see someone young or elderly or disabled please for their lives sakes offer them shelter even if it’s just a porch or garage.
#58
Once the feeling of being outside of society, being less than. It is extremely difficult to break the cycle of self sabotage because you don't believe you'll ever rejoin society. The "smell" will always be there. It took years to break that belief about myself. It still shows up in small ways. It's been 15 years.
#59
Apart from internal struggles that I would say are no.1:
The feeling of not being allowed to 'be' anywhere is 24/7 and was the biggest stress, second to cold.
Whereever you are there is a slight alertness of being moved along, that is draining over long periods when its 'always'. I would say opwn spaces like parks in the day were the best 'opposites' to this.
But yeah the real no.1 are your own thoughts about the situations. Practises like The Work of Byron Katie help with that, as one example.
#60
Food options. Really hard to cook up beans and rice when you have nowhere to cook, no matter how cost effective they are. You're stuck with pretty limited options, very few are even remotely close to healthy. Food banks are great, but you still won't be able to cook up pasta or veggies. The dollar stores can REALLY be your friend here. Cheap food that doesn't require cooking to be edible. This includes soups, canned meats, canned fruits and veggies... They taste better hot, but are also fine to eat cold from the can. The pop top ones nix the need to have a can opener.
Bathrooms. Go whenever there's an available opportunity. Same with garbage. Passing through a gas station? Toss any garbage you've got. Don't let it accumulate.
Hygiene. Cheap gym membership helps with that, but still a major pain in the a*s. Working out can help with mental health also.
Sleeping. Safe parking (if you have a vehicle) isn't always safe. And if there's no place around for you to do that you might get frequently hassled by law enforcement. Best bet is to make a deal with a sympathetic local business and be respectful of leaving it trash free and such. Don't give the location to anyone else or it'll snowball into others taking advantage and ruining it for you if the business feels taken advantage of. Bars are a surprisingly good option here. Police are used to seeing cars overnight and oftentimes if the bar has a kitchen you might even score some free food if you're not a d**k and you make friends with the overworked and underpaid kitchen crew.
Storage Unit. Find a cheap one so you have a place to store clothing and necessities for daily living that's located in an area that easy to get to.
Laundry mat. Make sure to keep up with laundry. People will only treat you like you're homeless if you look and smell like you're homeless. Make sure you have plenty of clean socks and underwear AND CHANGE THEM FREQUENTLY.
Safety. Find a Chihuahua for protection and alarm purposes. This is just a jest, but only partly. Those little psychos aren't letting ANYONE f**k around. They jump right into the find out stage, no questions asked. I suppose pepper spray is a less cool substitute. But don't go around spraying people w***y nilly or else you'll find yourself arrested for a*****t. Serious self defense only. Not because someone is annoying you. Practice the art of verbal deescalation often, you will probably need it.
It's not going to be fun or easy no matter what, so mentally you need to really lock it in. Breathe. Get through each day one step at a time. Seek out and utilize resources that are available, but be aware that you can't blindly trust just anyone. If it's a legit resource you will never be asked to be alone with someone, especially if they make you uncomfortable or are asking you to do things for them that you know or feel are wrong or inappropriate. There are plenty of people who will try to take advantage of you, sometimes in horrific ways. Be wary, but hopeful and let the helpers of the world help you. Becoming bitter and angry just leaves you bitter and angry and more alone than you were before.
Having hope and looking for the silver linings will help get you through it.
#61
One thing being misunderstood for me is the ability to take a good shower or shower at all. Being homeless doesnt mean losing the privilege to do so.
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Lyone Fein 9 hours ago (edited)
I want to thank BP for this article. I also want to encourage everyone who reads this to seriously consider giving shelter to a homeless person. I am currently hosting someone in my home, temporarily, who has been homeless for years. We live in a very small town in a conservative state in the midwest. Because of this, there are no resources for homeless people here. No homeless shelter. No daily free lunch, or free medical clinic. No public transportation. And less than 1% of the local housing is “affordable”. And pretty much all of the housing assistance goes to families. Not to single men in their 30s.
Lyone Fein 9 hours ago (edited)
I met this person because he came up to my house begging to be allowed to mow my lawn for some small amount of money. He mentioned that he was starting a new job in the next few days. I think this is what prompted me to offer him the empty bedroom. Because I knew he wouldn’t keep the job if he didn’t have a place to shower and do laundry. . . So far he’s been staying here for 6-7 weeks. And we’ve had some rough moments. But all in all he is a decent young man, who had lousy parents (the parents abandoned him when he was young).
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Beak Hookage 6 hours ago
I lost my job and if it wasn't for my parents I could very well have ended up homeless myself. It was an extremely sobering realisation, but at least it has made me a lot more sympathetic toward those who weren't so lucky. And as I use public transport and spend a lot of time roaming around town because without a job I have nothing to do, I've met quite a few of them and have become far more inclined to give them money or other items they ask me for (usually a treat or a cigarette).
Lyone Fein 9 hours ago (edited)
I want to thank BP for this article. I also want to encourage everyone who reads this to seriously consider giving shelter to a homeless person. I am currently hosting someone in my home, temporarily, who has been homeless for years. We live in a very small town in a conservative state in the midwest. Because of this, there are no resources for homeless people here. No homeless shelter. No daily free lunch, or free medical clinic. No public transportation. And less than 1% of the local housing is “affordable”. And pretty much all of the housing assistance goes to families. Not to single men in their 30s.
Lyone Fein 9 hours ago (edited)
I met this person because he came up to my house begging to be allowed to mow my lawn for some small amount of money. He mentioned that he was starting a new job in the next few days. I think this is what prompted me to offer him the empty bedroom. Because I knew he wouldn’t keep the job if he didn’t have a place to shower and do laundry. . . So far he’s been staying here for 6-7 weeks. And we’ve had some rough moments. But all in all he is a decent young man, who had lousy parents (the parents abandoned him when he was young).
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 6 hours ago
I lost my job and if it wasn't for my parents I could very well have ended up homeless myself. It was an extremely sobering realisation, but at least it has made me a lot more sympathetic toward those who weren't so lucky. And as I use public transport and spend a lot of time roaming around town because without a job I have nothing to do, I've met quite a few of them and have become far more inclined to give them money or other items they ask me for (usually a treat or a cigarette).
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