We all need dark humor at some point in life.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Cause they don't know where home is.
My goldfish can breakdance. Only for 15 seconds and only one time.
Before my grandpa died I remember his last words...watch how far I can kick this bucket hehe
"dad, why is my name experience?"
"experience is just the name we give oour mistakes"
"what do you do in your free time?"
" i stalk"
"really? i enjoy ice cream, hanging out at the park and going to movies with friends."
where did little jimmy go after getting lost in a mine field?
4. baby, oh no.
q: whats the difference between a baby and a potato?
a: about 140 calories.
let me know if you want me to post more by:
(1) I heard someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.... Poor guy!
(2)I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
(3) I remember my grandpa's last words before he died... " Are you still holding the ladder? "
(4) I read a book about an immortal dog... It was impossible to put down!
(5) Never breaks somebody's heart, they only have one of them! Break their bones, because they have 206 of them!
you don't need a parachute to skydive
You need a parachute to skydive twice
1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
2. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow
3. I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
4. My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? Because there was a face off in the corner.
why can't Sally play on the swings?
she has no arms, knock knock.
Why did the chicken die? She didn't look both ways before crossing the road.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
(I don't have a wife... im Middle school)
What's the similarity between clean water and dark humor? Not everyone gets it.
-What is a Dark-type Pokemon's favorite bread?