Hey Pandas, What’s The Most Discriminating Thing That Has Happened To You? (Closed)
I've noticed that there are a lot of posts here about "nice guys" and sexists, so I wondered if anything like that had ever happened to my fellow Pandas?
Sorry if this doesn't fit here but one of my family members once got mad at me when I was having a panic attack. They told me to "just stop it" and "stop being dramatic".
I've written this already somewhere here while reacting to some comments, but I think it fits here too:
"An older male gynecologist tried to explain to me, that all my pains are imaginary (it was a 2 week follow-up appointment after I was delivered to the same hospital unconscious from my period pain with my pants all soaked in blood and pain medication not working) and that I should see I psychiatrist instead or try other methods to seek attention from people, so I would not disturb doctors. "Periods are not that bad" - he said, "Look at men, we don't have to imagine sickness to get attention" - he said. Took some time to get the right diagnosis. It was not in my head."
In second grade, I had a substitute teacher who told me I was holding the pencil wrong and forced my hand into the position she thought was correct. It HURT. I'm lefthanded, and I hold my pencil differently. The pencil really hurt and I had to slip into that pose every time she walked by. She did this to another kid, too.
My freaking hair is apparently too "ethnic" so I've been repeatedly told to cut it off before school photographs. The last time I was warned about this they told me I wouldn't be allowed on the graduating ceremony as I didn't give off a "clean look", the school was obviously very concerned about how my curly hair was gonna send the "wrong vibes" and would attract "undesirable candidates" and therefore would "undermine" their "prestige" and consequently the "quality" of the entire educational system...
Because the syllabus cares about your looks :I
I used to get pulled over a lot when I was driving through certain neighborhoods while driving my souped-up car. I'm sure they were always thinking I was a dealing drugs or that I was a street racer. They always made up some ridiculous reason for why they pulled me over. Once it was my windshield looked cracked, it wasn't. My exhaust was too loud. I actually had a silencer installed on my car. The cop car was louder than mine. My favorite was I had a burned out head light. It was 2pm and my headlights weren't even on. They usually would give me a warning and leave after running my license but twice they gave me a fixit ticket and I had to go fight it in court. I actually started carrying copies of the penal codes they were claiming I had broken in my glove box so I could show them they were full of s**t.
"You can't play video games bc you're a girl" "you should be in the kitchen" i hear it every single day.
I don't know if this counts as discrimination per se, but it's horrible.
General catcalling and harassment of women has been an issue that has affected me a lot in the short 14 years I've been alive. Several times in public I have seen men staring at me, making comments, or even rubbing against me. Guys at school have slapped my butt. It's so f****d up, and I hate it. The worst part is that it's quite normalized and almost all women have to deal with it.
And we tell women and girls to cover up. Like no, how about we tell men and boys to respect people!!!? How about that?
I think I should be able to wear what I want, do what I want, and not be in danger of harassment, catcalling, or rape!
So, yeah, it's just daily discrimination that most women must face so much that we've almost become accustomed to it.
But that needs to be changed.
So please, if you're a man, respect women, and teach your sons to do the same. And if you're a woman, respect women, teach your sons to do the same and know that you deserve better.
When I was 14, I went on a church weekend trip with a friend. I got to breakfast the fist morning toward the end of serving time and they had one pancake left. About the time I held out my plate my friend's brother came up and said he wanted more - he had already had two servings. The woman serving said "He needs it, he's a boy." and gave him the pancake. As a boy, he got more than enough, as a girl, I got nothing.
I apologize if this seems over exaggerated
I had been friends with this boy for a while and we all got along very well, us two had a group chat with other friends where we could all text after school.
It turns out this boy liked me he told me this in the group chat.
I responded by politely telling him I did not feel the same and then told them I was into girls he was supportive and I thought this was over.
The next day the boy who liked me asked me if I wasn’t gay would I go out with him, I was confused but just said sure he then asked the same question again later that day.
I then noticed he was being more physical with me like touching my back and hugging me I was uncomfortable but I didn’t speak up even when he started making jokes about my sexuality. This continued to a point where I was fed up and cut all ties with him.
Lots to choose from, but we'll stick with some stuff from my father: He's always commenting on how women are so emotional and how women really need to improve if we want to show pride for ourselves. He also thinks that all people living condos and suburban areas are "sheep" (he thinks my mother is a sheep) and how all people living in rough n' tough cities (like where he lives) is considered a wolf. Since I'm his and my mom's daughter, he'd like for me to be a "sheepdog" so that I'm a healthy dose of tough wolf and gentle, frail sheep. 🤔
All through school I was always the target of bullies. In the 4th grade we sat in groups of 4 to 5 desks. 2 of the kids in the group didn't like me so they told the teacher they didn't want to sit by me. So infront of the entire class the teacher had my group vote all 4 in the group voted me out (the other two went along with it so they wouldn't become outcasts as well) the teacher said fine and made me move my desk to an empty spot and sit by myself. I of course went home in tears, my parents of course immediately called the school and spoke with the principal. The next day my teacher had to put me back in the group apologizing to the four students for having to put me back. She never apologized to me.
Okay, I've got a lot, but I'll stick with this one. In kindergarten, I had short hair, I hung out with the boys, and I didn't wear girly clothes, so everyone assumed that I was a boy. When one of my classmate's parents was handing out their birthday cupcakes they gave me a blue one like all the boys got because the blue ones didn't have sprinkles. I didn't want one with blue frosting, because who likes blue frosting? I asked him why I got one with blue frosting and he said because sprinkles are for girls. I told him that I was a girl and he said that if I had short hair and didn't wear a skirt, I was a girl.
Not really that big a deal, but when I was a little kid the Boy Scouts came to my class and talked all about this fun party they were throwing for all the kids interested in joining. They were really hyping it up, and were even giving away little helicopter straw toys to the ones who attended. My older brother was a Boy Scout, and I seriously wanted one of those free toys, so I was excited to go. However, 5 year old me had to be explained to that it was the BOY Scouts, and so no girls could go. And, that meant no free helicopter straw for me.
join a club with mostly guys, Worked super hard while the boys did nothing, at the end of the year, one of us will be chosen for assistant leader. The most lazy guy got chosen, confronted the leader about this and he said this quote
"some jobs require a suit, not a skirt"
My manager tried to have me fired because I'm epileptic.
At boarding school, I was told by one of the nuns that I was not allowed to attend the disco because I wore a Mjolnir pendant and therefore I was "A sinner who worships heathen devils"
my teacher told me this ¨oh honey your holding your pencil wrong. instead of your left hand use your right hand ok?¨
My story has nothing to do with nice guys and sexism, so feel free to remove it if you think that it doesn't fit. Anyways, here's the most discriminating thing that ever happened to me: as a student, I was looking a few years ago for a place to live in Germany, since I was doing some kind of Erasmus-like studying year in that country. I was on the phone, chatting with the owner of a nice apartment, and he suddenly asked me where I was from. Just as I told him, he hung up and went full no contact with me. I later found out that I got much more answers to my emails after I had somewhat germanised my name.
Medical school interview at my state university - I was asked when I was going to get married and quit medicine and when was I going to quit medicine to "make babies". I'd didn't gain admission - big surprise!
i honestly dont know if this goes here or not but once i was at a basketball game with my "parents" and i had a heart attack and my "parents" just ignored it and the only reason i survived is because some random person called the ambulance and then after a month of being in the hospital i went home and my
'parents" said "your so f*cking dramatic and a attention seeker your such an embarrassment to this family" so i ran away
Well...It was in 4th grade and me and one of my friends (who was a guy) got in an argument. He tried to hit me and the entire class said he couldn't hit me bc I was a girl and it was illegal. He said I technically wasn't a girl bc I was a tomboy with short hair...We are not friends anymore.
Before I start I am sorry for spelling errors I am dyslexic If you kindly point them out I can fix them. So I live close to the city and one day me and my family went to get high tea in the city. I love long flowy dress's but that day I switched it up and was wearing a black dress with the bottom that had flower and was a little above my knees. I saw a book store across the road and be being a nerd who loves books wanted to go. I asked if I could go now and they meet me their they said yes. I went out and was walking when a group of men who looked late 20s catcalled me. I was so scared I ran to the book store crying my eyes out. I was 16 years old.
dunno if this counts but when my parents found out i was Bi, my mom told me "You don't have the dating experience to know if you like girls." Every single time i've said i've liked a boy it was never questioned. -_-
In the USMC, after 14 months of advanced electronics training. Sent to the office next door instead of working on gear I was trained for. Told to type documents. I told the Gunny Sgt "well, I could FIX your typewriter, but I'm not trained in how these forms need to be filled out." Sent back to my shop - until they found another place to dump the only female in the entire Marine Corps in that job field. Their loss.
I don't want to really talk about the MOST discriminating thing that has ever happened to me, however I absolutely hate when people tease me for my height. I'm short and people joke and insult me because of that, picking me up without permission ("Wow! You're so light! Probably because you're short." or "Are all girls this light?"), etc. Literal strangers would just pick me up and make fun of me. It's embarrassing and belittling and uncomfortable, I absolutely despise it.
I was coming home from church with my mom one time and she was furious. The way my church was split up was by age groups until you were an adult, then the women met in one room and then men met in another. Well, in my moms meeting they had told the mothers that “we have noticed that the young women’s dresses have been really short lately. If you could talk to you daughters and tell them to wear longer dresses” they were clearly talking about me, since I was the one with the shortest dresses. Here’s the thing though: I don’t wear super short dresses, the shortest go down to just above my knees. They were upset that my knees were exposed (not really tho cause I was wearing pantyhose) because all the old dudes at church got horny over some knees. What kind of crap is that??
Waitress here working in Italy. A guest told me "You are not from here. I can see from the shape of your head that you are not from here."
I am Hungarian and we don't have any distinctive head shape.
At another time, a guest left the following review on Google. "Nice place. Good cakes. Foreign personnel, but doing their best."
Not me, but my best friend.
She was at Forever 21, when she saw an older guy staring at her. He was about 30 years old with a beard. When she looked back at him again, he winked at her. Keep in mind that she is still a minor. And she told me it was creepy as heck.
Okay, so maybe this isn't blatant discrimination - I recognize that I have a lot of privilege and am very lucky to have not been discriminated against a lot in my life - but I have definitely had hurtful, uncomfortable, and intrusive things said to me. Stuff like "There is no wage gap, you just won’t admit that women don’t try as hard," "Here, pull up my shirt and see my bruise" "Do you sit with your legs together or spread open?" "It’s not that there are less women in Congress because of gender. It is just that women are less qualified." "Heyyyy, girl *wink*"
In secondary one I had quite a social group of friends (I'm quite awkward socially.) And we were all in the canteen chatting and this random guy has the audacity to call me a s**t, I don't even know him and was too shocked to speak. Only a few people noticed and when they said something eventually all of my friends were going at this poor kid. So at least I got a happy ending 😊
I have a different name(boys name) you would say so growing up I've always bn asked if I'm sure I was a girl. Or my favorite one is were your parents expecting a boy? No I love my name! By the way it's Randi... Not short for anything just randi
also when i was in 6th grade i had this kid in my class that would bully me and call me a h*e, stripper, b*itch, s*ut, f*ggot and other names but i dont feel like typing them. then he started to hit and kick me and i wasn't able to do anything about it. i had enough when he even tried to rape me in the empty classroom thar used to be the music room
I'm an African American. When I was in Jr High, a bunch of 7th graders used to come up to me and say "go back home n-word" or "go back to Africa." This really hurt, but I didn't speak up. When I finally told my dad, I felt a lot better. We never caught the bullies but I am now in a culturally diverse school and have not been racially discriminated against since.
This actually happened recently I am a swimmer and we had our championship meet recently. Because of COVID restrictions they were going to have the girls go early in there own session on Friday and Sunday and the boys go early Saturday for there session. Sounds fair right? But two of the male coaches felt that the one day the boys would go early would be an “inconvenience to the men” so now the girls had to go early and arrive at the pool everyday at 6:15 because heaven forbid we females inconvenience the men right ladies?
I needed to buy a hardwire cable to fit my Dashcam to my car. So I went to a local car parts place. As I walk in there is only one customer in there, clearly a mechanic in work overalls. About 60 years old. (I’m 40).
I walk up to the till and he says “don’t you feel a little uncomfortable in here?”
I reply “no, should I be?”
He replied “well this is a mans world, woman don’t belong in here”. He genuinely seemed perplexed and clearly believed in what he said.
I have never. Ever. Been spoken to like that and I work in a mainly male environment
When I was younger I wanted to try soccer, my parents wouldn't let me because I was a girl, so I started acting more like a guy, then when I was 12 I told them I wanted to try figure skating, and they said I couldn't because I wasn't girly enough
I’m a very white hispanic/Latina (like vampire pale, its kinda scary) and when i tell people I’m Hispanic/Latina they say, “are you sure your Hispanic/Latina?” “Just because you’re parents are Hispanic/latino(a) doesn’t mean you are” (which is false even if i wasn’t born in a Hispanic/ Latin American country) “you’re so white. I thought Hispanics/latinas are supposed to be black/brown/tan?” “Oh your Hispanic? Say a sentence in Spanish.” Or “oh you speak fluent Spanish? Prove it.” This just makes me so mad
Ok, this is probably me being dramatic but this happened like every day before I was being educated from home
"Can any strong boys help me carry these chairs back?"
Um excuse me teacher just boys
One time I wanted to play 4-Square, so I went in line. This guy came up to me and was like, "Sorry you can't play with us." And I asked him why. He said that since I'm a girl, I would be bad at 4-Square and it would be too easy to get me out.
I worked at a daycare with disabled kids. I would take groups of three with me to the nearby park, so they could play on the play ground, under my 'watchful eyes' and with my assistance.
One day, a kid trips and I help him get up, just to have a random woman scream at me, why I, a man, am touching a 'random' kid. I try to explain to her, that I am the kid's caretaker and she keeps accusing me of being a pedophile because I was 'staring at the other kids' (well, duh, they need to be watched constantly) and I had no 'proof' (it is not like nursery school teachers have a badge). It ended in her calling the police. Of course, nothing came of it, but I still quit my job after another similar incident.
When I moved out from my parents, I was living frugally so that I can save money. I took the bus to get to work because it was only one ride away from my apartment, plus it was cheaper. When a coworker, whose workstation was beside mine, found out, she gasped as if she saw something so gross. From then on she acted all superior and started bullying me.
I'm Native in Canada. I have been yelled at to leave stores before b/c I'm an Indian (yes, I used that word deliberately). No questions, not nicely like in the movie Pretty Woman, straight up 'Get out of here, we don't want Indians in here!" Or " Why are you in here, Indians don't special treatment in my store, get out!" and not just once or twice. I would say a solid 10x in my life.
When I was little, a girl refused to call me by my preferred name, which I had told her a thousand times. Then she got fed up that I didn’t call her by a weird nickname that I had never heard her say. She also broke school rules a lot.
I dont know if this is discrimination so i will leave it to you to decide. I went to the doctors about giving up smoking and she was explaining what smoking does to you and one of HER comments in the conversation was" Us women don't like it soft we like it hard!" I could've died of embarrassment!
I was not allowed to bring my bag into a museum when I was wearing pride gear, because “queer people are dangerous” or something.
I'm still in high-school, we have two choice technology or ag for a elective so I chose ag (agricultural work) there is only two girls in the class myself and my friend. I often get touched and told I dunno what I'm talking about because I'm a female or told to go make sandwiches. They tell me a lot of stereo typical things. I would quit but I really am interested in Ag. Also what I said about being touched I told the counselor and they gave him a warning. Sure he wouldn't do it again but that funny part is that I went with 6 other girls he has been harassing.
Not me but a friend of mine wasn’t let in a restaurant with her girlfriend (she’s bi)
I worked in the automotive repair industry for 40 years. I was an automobile repair technician and retired in 2000. I don't think there is enough paper in the world to write down 40 years worth of the discriminating, demeaning, ignorant and pathetic things that were said to me during the course of my career. But here are a few choice ones:
Why aren't you at home cooking dinner for your husband, raising a baby?
Does your daddy own this shop or what?
You KNOW you're gonna have to get your hands dirty to do this job, don't you?
Who'd you blow to get this job?
Oh, isn't that cute! A girl mechanic! I bet you have pink tools!
I’m genderfluid born female. I’m in 8th grade and I wear skirts and stuff. When I was in 6th grade, I was wearing a skirt and a crop top to school. I was talking to my friend/love interest at his lunch table. He had a bunch of these douche bag friends and when I got up to walk back to my table, his friend said “I wanna f**k you in the butt.” And another one said “nice t*ts” I walked away with a burning face. Not only that, but anyone who knew us knew that we’re crushing big time on each other. It really hurts, yk? It didn’t get better either. In 7th grade was called a sl*t, wh*re, stuff like that. They aren’t wrong, but I don’t need to here that from anyone.
I was shot at because I did not share the same beliefs as someone else. Thankfully those days are (mostly) over and I can visit family without running the risk of being killed.
I was told I couldn't play netball for the school because I was a boy. After I complained to the local papers they agreed to let me play, but in an effort to put me off, they said I would have to play in the school's team kit, which included a skirt. I played! We won! The other team complained that it was unfair that there was a boy playing because I was a lot bigger than the girls. They got the win!
Whenever I visited my friends house his family always made fun of him and me (mostly him though), because I was white, they called him 'traitor' a lot, and I was 'Casper' or his 'milk boy'.
I am an Asian and was staying in a foreign country. Was just casually walking on a street and a car passed by throwing half-filled coke from kfc at me.
Was only 19 that time and cried that night.
i got made fun of for holding hands with my best friend in second grade.
WE WERE BEST FRIENDS
WE WERE SECOND GRADERS
A TEACHER MADE FUN OF US
THE FREAKING TEACHER SAID TO OTHER STUDENTS TO “KEEP AWAY” AND THAT THE OTHER KIDS MIGHT “CATCH IT”
at the time i thought she thought i was sick, so i said “i’m healthy teacher? why are you saying this?” and she just said “you’re sick in another way”
i hated that teacher. me and my best friend switched classes after that. teacher got fired.
went over to play 4 square and was told it was girls only, went and told a teacher and they didn't care, so I started a "boys only" 4 square group and got suspended for it
A few years back I had some pretty buck teeth. It was really obvious. I was at school and some kid ran into me and I almost fell over so I asked him to apologise and he started mocking how my teeth looked and said what I’d said in a really stupid voice
I am a bariatric patient. We sometimes have things like a twisted bowel or even gallbladder problems. I also have 4 discs in my neck that are screwed due to all the lifting I've done over the years. (I worked in Hospitality / Entertainment so band gear, kegs, etc.) and from that my neurosurgeon (for my neck) back in the day, gave me oxycodone (which I haven't taken in ages because I hate the itch and ect.) No for the story... Mind you I'm 60 at the time. I get this wrenching pain in my upper stomach and go to the ER. I mean WRENCHING... They did pretty much nothing. I sat there on the gurney for like 5 hours. Pain went away. Heck, kidney stone pain (I've had that too!) goes away after they pass. I say if they aren't going to even look at me, I may as well leave. The head nurse was more than happy to sign me out. As I was leaving, she made a comment like "see, they always leave if you make it futile for them. I had no clue what she meant by that remark but realized when I got home and looked at my chart (literally called "MyChart" it says that I am a former opioid abuser!! (No, it was given by a neuro and controlled) She basically deduced without anything that I was just a drug seeker. 3 months later I sat in agony, puking and white as a sheet and the wife drives me to hospital where they discovered I had actually passed a gallstone down the bile duct and it sent me into pancreatitis near killing me. I spent 5 days in the hospital one of which I watched my Eagles win the superbowl. I was asked if I ever had this before. I told them what happened and was told that had they done something, they would have caught it before it started to travel. (It was a tiny one) I made them remove that entry about opioid abuse. They also had me down as having "tobacco abuse" and it's funny, I may smoke one cigarette a week. 60, near non-smoker, rare drinker, tested negative for all drugs, and do have conditions where extreme pain is possible but no oxy etc. Opioid Abuse... Makes ya sound like a freakin' heroin addict. Don't even know where they got that info from. Idiots! Lucky I didn't sue them.
In fourth grade i was playing basketball with not really my friends but anyway i got told they wouldn't pass the ball to me because i was short
I was told by my college professor that because I’m White, Christian and Male that I should go to the Christian University down the street.
I've always been a very ethical, hardworking employee: I don't take personal calls or surf at work, I'm always on time and willing to stay late if needed, I work hard, learn as much as possible and volunteer to help my coworkers with their workload when I have mine under control. I always aim to be polite, professional and approachable. I don't like gossip and don't play office politics. I should be the most employable person in the world, right?
Nope. Over a ten year period, I went from most valuable employee to fired or getting a trumped-up layoff from every single job I got, after getting glowing reviews every quarter for work well done. After each dismissal, I learned from my former teammates I've been fired for reasons that nave nothing whatsoever to do with job performance: 1. having young children, 2. not being a Christian, 3. not being Jewish, 4. because I was married and the other person in line for layoff was single, 5. because of my age (if you're not in your 20s or 30s, you have Alzheimers or don't know how to use or are uncomfortable with technology, right?); and 6. Because I'm overweight; BTW, overweight people, regardless of their job performance, always get a reputation for being lazy and stupid; I've heard this said about multiple overweight people in many jobs.
Many of these firings caught me by surprise. When I was young, single and had a nice figure, my performance was always recognized in the office. These days, I assume that no matter how hard I work, and no matter how much praise they heap on me for my performance, they will fire me.
In my GCSE year (last obligatory year of schooling) I was told by the career advisory team, 'due to your learning difficulty, it would be unlikely to successes past GCSE level'. I have moderate dyslexia and had been heinously under supported throughout my entire schooling. I worked incredibly hard and was achieving average to good results. So, I promptly ignored them, refused to go to anymore meetings or respond to letters/e-mails. I proceeded to gain; 4 Advanced-levels in chemistry, biology, mathematics and sociology, a Bachelors degree (education based) and then a post-degree qualification. I now support children with learning difficulties and love seeing them shine.
So, yeah, a learning difficulty / difference does not define a person's potential.