Losing freedom to choose for myself, be it my clothing, my hair, my medical care, my faith expression (or lack thereof!).... Just don't take my freedom to choose. Or to speak up in peaceful protest!
The next pandemic...based on how a large percentage of the population ignored legitimate medical advice, spread misinformation, and basically put their individual rights before the health of others (and themselves). If the next pandemic has a higher mortality rate and/or higher transmission rate, the death toll will be catastrophic.
This. I don't think I can explain it better than you did. People ignoring the medical advice was... infuriating, oddly enough. I was genuinely angry to see people out and about at walmart without masks, how many people let their kids put random things in their mouths and put it back... during a pandemic! It's crazy to me that people genuinely thought wearing the masks was supposed to be some free-speech-hindering thing.
The death of my son. At the age of 28 He was diagnosed with a rare, and incurable disease called Kearns-Sayre Syndrome (a mitochondrial disease). None of his doctors have heard of it, and if they have - it was briefly. The following year (still 28 years old) they put in a pacemaker - a preventative measure, as his heart could stop at any time regardless of what he’d be doing. Everything that I have read about it tells me the life expectancy is around 50 years of age. He’s 39 now. His hearing has gotten worse, and his gait is off. So much that he now needs a walker. Before he was only using a cane, but he kept falling. Last month he told me he’s been having a hard time swallowing. When my sister and I go to his place, we do stuff like take out his trash, and recycling. I clean the cat litter. There is no medication he can take, only supplements, so he takes those. He can still work, drive, and eat. For the most part he is doing well as can be. He sees his friends, but I pay for Uber rides so he won’t need to drive. Around 4 or 5 o’clock he gets really tired and needs to lay down. My entire family knows, and are aware of his needs (at family gatherings someone will help him sit down, or walk a certain distance, and get him food). It is devastating. I’m only talking for myself here - as his mother - it pains my soul to know I can’t put a bandage on this, tell him he’ll be fine, and kiss it better. Instead, I go to his place, we watch whatever he wants to see on Netflix. Sometimes he forgets he’s shown me a program already, and I’ll watch it again because he’s excited to show me, and that’s fine. Like a little kid that tells you the same joke 87,000 times. I’ve seen the Mandalorian 3 times now. We text every day, and he sends me silly TikTok videos. In late July he and I flew to Southern California for my brother’s memorial. I asked my son if he wanted to stay a few days. He said no, just overnight. He was already tired from flying. After we got back, I took FMLA, and stayed home for 2 months. It wasn’t because of the death of my brother, but of my son admitting out loud his health issues, and accepting that he needed a walker, to take things slower, and be mindful of his limitations. His sense of humour has not waned. His constant silly line - and something he made up - to me is “MOM! Come over so you can carry me into the night.” Unfortunately I know somewhere down the line I will be doing exactly that.
I am so frigging sorry. I've never seen it, but I've heard of it. Hugs.
Population pressure on the planets resources.
Ahh, you mean like using up the earth because of our growing population? That's a pretty valid fear, I mean... we can only do so much until it's all gone. I feel, though, that nature is a force that we underestimate. We've created artificial islands (I think NY is an example, correct me if I'm wrong) just to support our vastly growing population and we kind of see how that's turning out lately... but I feel like nature reclaiming herself is... kind of deserved? I mean I don't *hate* us as a species, but we gotta admit, we've sorta overstayed our welcome... at least that's how I feel about it.
Burying loved ones. Our parents we expect, for that is the circle of life. But my siblings, partner or own children... no thank you. Just let me go first.
Firstly this is not selfish at all. It's very valid to have this fear, or similar. It's not uncommon to be unable to bare the idea of losing people we love. In fact, I'm in the same shoes you are - I would rather go first so I can save myself the pain of losing people I love forever. I would rather be lights out and be done with the hurt. BUT... loss is a part of how we evolve and grow, as stupid and bad as that sounds. Facing loss, we learn to appreciate the things we gain. That's my feeling on the matter - I mean clearly losing a whole entire PERSON is very painful... but this life is temporary. Whatever happens next is probably better than this... that's my hope for the loved ones I've lost.
I think of this almost all the time and the only thing that I can honestly admit scares me is being alone. Sometimes being alone triggers that feeling of abandonment from my past... it also triggers the feeling of general panic when I think about the unknown and how much I fear not having someone close that I can trust. Not having someone to guide me through life, because honestly, that's something I need. I almost need my hand held because I'm not fully integrated into society.
Due to my unfortunate upbringing, I was always taught (rather, I was trained) that I would be nothing without someone showing me the way. I was always treated like a misguided child, even well after eighteen years old (I'm thirty-one now) and convinced that I could not survive on my own. To this day, the codependency is real and it's a struggle. One of the more common side-effects of being a codependent is being very afraid of being alone, living alone, going places alone... and it stuck with me. I am afraid of being alone.
How can I safely expose myself to this fear?
The first thing my mind jumps to when it comes to this sorta thing is exposure therapy in and of itself - so for myself, how would I go about facing this fear? I would, ironically, need someone with me for the encouragement, but I would also need to simply spend more time alone with my thoughts. Which I have been, hence where this Shadow Work is coming from.
Escaping the fear is easy. Previous to writing any of my posts, I would do anything possible to get away from myself. I would turn to substances and get so "far beside myself" that I couldn't see straight. I couldn't see my problems. I couldn't see myself. I've since become much more comfortable with my own company for short periods of time - I don't think I could go a whole entire day without panicking, but a good six or seven hours alone doesn't bother me as much anymore! That's progress, right? As long as I have someone with me at the end of the day, I'm golden... but that leaves my codependency enabled to some degree. No, we don't have to live totally alone all the time, but to voluntarily become a responsibility all because I'm afraid is very unfair to my loved ones and to the person I would be depending on.
Off the top of my head, I can think of a few ways I could expose myself to my fear and slowly overcome it: going somewhere on my own (the store, library, or even for a walk), turning off social media for a short while and spending more time alone with my thoughts (uninfluenced), and simply applying coping skills on those days where I am alone longer than I can stand. Yes, sometimes it's hard to remember our coping skills when panic sets in and it feels like free will is stripped from us, but we must remember that we are stronger than our anxieties and we are stronger than our fears. I think simply having more confidence will help me become less dependent on others in the future. That's a good place to start, I think! Baby, baby steps.
You're not alone. You've got us. We're all here for you. And baby steps are how it always starts. Just a tiny tiny bit at a time! (Also, Al-Anon is great for helping with co-dep even if no alcoholics are involved). .... And I've been so constantly with people the last few years I have no idea if I'll be okay alone, either, so I've started doing more, as I can. Take a shrot walk, go to the store, etc.
White Supremacists.
Honestly a valid fear. R*cism in general is just worthless and pointless and causes more harm than good. We all bleed the same color and all our bones are the same shade of weird. There's no need for white s*premacy. (I'm censoring because I'm learning BP's sensitivity)
The thought of my children dying before me.
My mother has a fear similar to this, and I would never wish for any parent to have to bury their children. That has to be the most horrible loss I can even imagine.
Losing my friends and family. School shootings at my school, family member school, friends' school... yeah.
When I was in school... that was a fear I had. What if someone brings that mess to my school and someone I love or care for ends up hurt? Or worse? Those are valid fears... and I wish I knew how to help but all I can offer are words. Probably words you've already heard and read a million times, but therapy is a wonderful resource. Not just for mentally ill folks but for people who aren't sure how to deal with certain thoughts or emotions. Leaving fears (especially valid ones like these) unchecked for too long *can* develop panic disorders or anxiety, so my friendly advice is to nip it in the bud before it blossoms.
Dying before my youngest child is an adult.
That is so understandable. As a parent you want to be there to watch your child thrive into the best, kindest version of themselves possible and I can understand wanting to be there every step of the way!
The US government. Yes I vote.
To add to this, that the US government is evolving in the same way as the government of ancient Rome. Heading inevitably towards increased corruption and assassination. Decline and fall. This time the fall of the whole world and not just Europe.
Great heights
Deep water. It just feels like it's squeezing me, and I feel like I can't breathe.
My friends unaliving themselves, and there might've been something I could do to stop them.
Both equally scary... I've not gotten over my fear of deep water so I don't really have much input there... but I've had friends who were cidal... and every time they expressed it to me, I had no idea how I could help. We're told to offer help hotlines and coping methods but sometimes... in the moment of Code Red, those things just do not help. I found what helps is to offer distraction. Never panic and never be upset with them. Don't baby them, haha, but listen. Offer an ear and offer brainstorming, but most of all offer laughter. Laughter is such good energy and is known to release endorphines that boost the mood - opposite action is just that. Doing the opposite of what you're feeling. It's also important to remember that other people are not our sole responsibility. If you feel unequipped to handle something as serious as another human life, please reach out to someone who *can* help. Just because we can't help sometimes doesn't mean we don't care.
Quite honestly, what I fear most in life is not knowing what legacy would I be leaving when my time comes. I'm not gonna say I'm not afraid to die, but not knowing what I leave behind scares me more. Will I be remembered as a good man, or will people only remember my wrongs? (I'm not a perfect being, I know I have done wrong somewhere at some point).
Perhaps what I can do now is to ensure I leave behind as best a legacy as I can at least. Do right by others so they would remember be as a better man. I will stumble, and I will fall. But when I'm gone, I want others to know that I did what I could, as best I could.
I don't know where I'm headed when it's my time comes, but if people remember me as a good/decent person when I was still alive, perhaps I can face the afterlife with a lighter heart.
Well, Panda, from what I've just read, it seems like you have the desire to be and do good, so what's to say you can't, just for the heck of it? :D That alone makes you come across as a good person - at least to me! The drive and inspiration to be a good person is often all it takes. Step two would be just... following that drive and doing as the good leads you to do! Set out to do good and help others experience good! I'd think online is a good place to start since it's kind of a corrupt pesudo-reality that people live in more than in reality. Food drives, maybe, too! It's getting to be that time of year.
The thought of drowning. I don't have a great reason like I almost drowned at some point in my life, it just has become the dominant fright for me. I guess it's my imagination, and I use it to picture myself being trapped in an underwater cave (how I got there, not relevant), stuck up against the roof of the chamber, clawing blindly at the ceiling. Finally letting go of my last breath, and then marveling at how much blood comes out of my mouth as I painfully choke on the water. ((((((SHUDDER)))))))
I had dreams about drowning a couple of times, and only later did I realise that I had astma and that was the reason. I have not have any such dreams since I was diagnosed and got medicine. But scenes in films where people are trapped underwater still makes me uncomfortable.
Scared, and curious of death and my family and friends dying. What is death like? Is it just floating in the darkness alone? What would I do when my friends and family are gone? Should I join them. That is what I ponder everyday. But what I most fear is time. TIme is ticking, every second. What if I didn't solve my mistake as my time is over? I will never know when time will end as time is mysterious.
Try reading about near death experiences. They are mostly all beautiful, as were mine in 2002. I no longer fear my own death but the deaths of my familymembers is something else again. My mother is 90 so the fear is not ludicrous.
Not being able to feed my kids.
It is ridiculous somehow, but I can’t help it.
Both my wife and I have a stable situation. We don’t have any problems with money and are very grateful for this. But I am literally horrified to think I could hear one of my sons tell me “Dad, I’m hungry” and I would answer “I know sweetie, I am sorry, there is no food left”.
I am trying to fight against this. And I have a stock of long shelf-life food in case there is a major disaster. I know how to grow vegetables. I know how to hunt. I have a huge rainwater tank and know how to make it drinkable. I had a survival training course.
Despite all this I am still scared. I value their life more than anything else. Being a dad really screwed me up!
I'm currently in a fight to get foodstamps so I understand this feeling. This dread and this fear of health issues and all the horrible possibilities that come from not being able to feed our families... it's not a fight we should be having and it's very unfair that we have to watch people we love go hungry. Being a father is hard. I won't pretend I know anything about it, being a woman with no kids myself, but I still have a family to feed. There's no pain like hearing my lover say he's hungry and I have nothing to cook him. I wish I had more encouraging things to say, but just know this is not a ridiculous fear. This is very valid, and as long as we keep fighting, something good will happen! I wish you and your family the best from mine. Something good will come.
Nuclear weapons & CARNIES! Circus folk. Small hands, smell like cabbage, you know....🎪🤗
In world war 2, tanks were conventional weapons and nuclear bombs were unconventional weapons. I world war 3, nuclear bombs will be conventional weapons, and I'm terrified to think how deadly the unconventional weapons will be.
I've never given much thought to this. I suppose with the way technology is changing and advancing... that's pretty valid. I mean all fear is valid for one reason or another but this may have unlocked a new fear in me! Oh man.
Living too long.
I have a similar fear. Living long enough to outlive the people I love is something that scares me... but living long enough to outlive those that wronged me seems like a nice victory.
The United States going fascist, or the extreme "Christian" Right taking over (essentially the same thing). I am just the sort of person who would be rounded up and sent to the death camps.
1. Cannibalism.
2. So far nothing horrible has happened in my life (like tragedy level) I haven't even broken a bone. I'm not religious or spiritual or whatever but I feel like I will get murdered. Like oh my life is so easy and uneventful that to compensate or balance guess I have to be murdered. This isn't a fear that controls my life just something I think about sometimes.
Cannibalism is pretty scary... though seen as a sacred practice in some cultures, it's never done out of malice, like most of us believe. They don't simply hunt down their equals and eat them, to my understanding, it's something that happens after war 1) To ensure war doesn't happen again and 2) as a spiritual thing -- the topic is a little iffy so I didn't research much more into it haha. As far as nothing happening, I would say maybe some luck shines on your side! That or you're just very well adjusted that anything bad that might happen just doesn't affect you? That's interesting to me haha.
Junkies. Drug addiction is out of hand. Crime is up. It's killing cities like San Francisco and Portland, OR. Parks littered with needles, sick people sleeping on the ground. Who on the planet doesn't know that opiates, fentanyl, and meth are addictive but do it anyway? Once you are addicted, even if you go to rehab your chances of staying clean are rare. And if you are successful you spend every day wishing for it. Meanwhile people that need a pain killer after surgery are getting Tylenol. More people stay home now while junkies rule the night. In rural areas they are in the woods. Junkies are your zombie apocalypse.
I'm someone that uses mariju*na for things like cPTSD, depression, anxiety, even to chill my BPD and... I gotta agree with you. There are people out there who make junk out to be their sole identity or the main focus of their existence... and it's so sad they'd rather throw their lives away rather than treat what's really going on and be mindful. I wouldn't consider this a fear of mine personally, but I can see how it's disheartening and kinda makes me question the future of us as a species... how long until we're more chemical than man?
What scares me the most is my mother passing away. Hopefully, it won't be for some time yet, but the thought of not having her is terrifying to me. I'm quite independent mind you, but, we are like best friends. Always have been. She's always been someone I could talk to, supportive, and has always been the best mother anyone could ask for. As far as phobia related: Spiders and insects I'm deathly afraid of. Give me snakes, lizards, wild beasts, etc. but creepy crawlies are a NOPE for me.
Oh, I can relate to this one. It's one of my anxiety triggers. I get to thinking about my mother or sister or even my brother passing away, or my lover, and it sends me into this weird spiral of dread. No way else to describe it -- utter dread. I used to be really scared of slugs and snails, but now I have two little snails of my own! Garden snails that made their way into my house - after observing and caring for them, they're not so scary. Snakes and spiders are still a mighty no-thanks for me!
Losing the ability to not care of what other people think. I have gotten to a stage in my life, where I discard all of other people's opinions about me, and that took me too long to get to that place
Twinsies for sure. I no longer give two rats about what someone thinks of me. I still feel the need to explain some things about myself, but it's never to convince people of things anymore. I can see how it would be kinda scary to go from a sense of inner peace to suddenly being self-conscious... I think as long as we stay mindful, it won't be a problem at all!
That was very deep. Wow. Please know that you’ll never be alone, as your close friend, I won’t ever let that happen. You’ll always have me around, and with me by your side, I promise, you’ll never be alone. ❤️ As of right now, my biggest fear is death; not death itself, but the aftermath. Where will I go? What will happen to my soul? Will I be born again? Will I stay in Heaven forever? Will I even make it to Heaven? Will I rot down in Hell? These thoughts frequently run through my head, which does put a fear in me. The biggest fear, however, is the possibility of it simply being lights out forever. In eternal darkness, not being able to see, hear, talk, nothing. That’s my biggest fear. I can’t bare the thought of such circumstances for the rest of my afterlife, whether I’m aware of it or not.
I'm truly not being disrespectful but once ur u won't. All the heartache and misery will be gone. U will be nothing but light, kindness and beauty
my family hating me and not being able to choose my own path
1. Living in poverty again. I hit a point where I was about 2 weeks away from being homeless, and I've never been as terrified by anything else I've been through than that, which is saying a lot.
2. Becoming infirm, incapacitated or vulnerable due to old age or injury. I've seen plenty of people living at the mercy of others, and made sure my medical directives were crystal clear as a result.
How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.
This seems like a unique fear to me, maybe because I have a different perspective. I think it's rather awesome (in the sense of being in awe... and cool!) that we're teeny tiny. All this impact and all our thoughts and inventions came from such teeny tiny people... and if there are more teeny tiny people out there, that would be strangely comforting to me! I can understand fear of the unknown, though. If there is other life out there, we can't just know their intentions... would they be socially civil or would they seek to harm us? But if this kind of thought triggers some genuine fear, I would try and take solace that even if we are teeny tiny and alone... we're all the same size as each other and not truly alone here at home.
How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.
This. Totally. Sometimes I look at the sky at night and feel a profound vertigo. Even if we consider the basic observable universe (and not the theories about multiverse or parallel realities or stuff like this), we are so infinitely small. The solar system is around 0.0127 light years. The observable universe is supposed to be 94 billion light years! We are ridiculously small in size but also in time. The universe is supposed to be around 14 billion years old. Humans are around 200 000 years old. And I fully agree, it is terrifying to think we are alone in the universe, and equally terrifying we are not.
Dark water. I see hammerhead sharks almost every time I walk along the pier and look down - often pretty close to swimmers. Also whilst kayaking and snorkeling, and I have no problem swimming in the clear ocean and seeing them. But swimming in a dark lake with no outlet where I can't see the bottom, or much of anything - nope. Even though I rationally know there's nothing in there that can hurt me (though I do live in gator territory, they don't scare me and have always run away when they see me). If I can't see clearly it's a big nope! I guess why some people are afraid of the dark, even in their own homes.
Murderers/kidnappers
When I was a kid, one of my anxieties was kidnappers. I was always afraid to do things alone but walking to school every day was something I had to do on my own. I was soooo scared and the "what ifs" would always invade my thoughts. I don't have kids, but if I did... I think I would still have that worry - I'd insist on taking my kid whenever they wanted to go somewhere. I fear I'd be a helicopter parent.
Developing Alzheimer's or Locked-in syndrome.
Locked-In is such a fear of mine... that or just becoming vegetative in general. Oof... I feel this.
To live a life without my parents and sibling. Can't even think about it. No. Just no. Family is everything for me.
Having no one/being lonely
sorry I accidentally posted twice, it didn’t load correctly :p
The idea of a single failure disabling you in at least some way for the rest of your life.
The unknown, the future, humanity and also failing expectations
How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.
How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.
my asian grandmother terrifies the wits out of me.
Getting a B in a class. I’m a straight A student and I shudder to think about what my mom would do if I got a B. I skipped a grade, and everyone in my grade thinks of me as “the smart girl”, so it would ruin my reputation at school.
Time for you to look for sources of motivation inside yourself. What do YOU want to do in your life, and how and when do YOU want to do it. Your mother’s reactions and the mere opinions of other people are out of your control and — to be blunt — are their problem, NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You seem to have little awareness of what you want for yourself. Time to get honest about what you want to work toward. It’s your life you are living, not your mother’s and not that if the people whose opinion you fear so much.
I'm sorry to everyone who uses this, but I'm terrified of straightening irons.
I am terrified of the future, as well. I find it so scary. I am comfortable where I am right now! I don't want to leave all the people I know, I want to stay! Why can't I hit pause and stay where I am, right now?
Being put into a nursing home dependent on pharma. If we had the choice to die with dignity and not put the burden of this on our loved ones. Nursing homes are modern death camps and making massive profits. Governments and religions must keep us going, eh?
Females/J
You kidding? I LOVE woman. Most of my friends are woman, including my best friend (my Wife, Beth).
Please sort out the duplicates.
Zombies, becoming paralyzed (again), losing use of my hands, and being unable to learn how to walk (again).
I only now see the duplicates -- there doesn't seem to be an option for me to delete them. I feel like maybe it was more of a user glitch - sometimes when I post on forums, my device likes to glitch out and posts things multiple times.
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I got here too late but: the fact that I have free will. I could literally drive off of a bridge if I wanted to, and nothing can or would stop me. Terrifying as an impulsive, anxious, depressed queer with homophobic parents/community.
I'm extremely new to Bored Panda so I'm not quite sure how to do that.
Load More Replies... I only now see the duplicates -- there doesn't seem to be an option for me to delete them. I feel like maybe it was more of a user glitch - sometimes when I post on forums, my device likes to glitch out and posts things multiple times.
Load More Replies... I got here too late but: the fact that I have free will. I could literally drive off of a bridge if I wanted to, and nothing can or would stop me. Terrifying as an impulsive, anxious, depressed queer with homophobic parents/community.
I'm extremely new to Bored Panda so I'm not quite sure how to do that.
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