I've been LGBT+ for a while now, yet I still haven't told my parents. How can I do it without them freaking out about it?
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Best tip I have. You don’t have to do it! Only do it if you are comfortable with it, don’t feel obligated to do it!
First of all, only come out if you're in a safe environment. I know it can be really hard to stay closeted in a situation where you might be in danger if you come out, but your safety comes first.
If you do feel safe, then know what you want to say but try not to overthink. Remember to breathe and don't talk too fast or say too much- you don't need to justify your identity.
I agree with most posts here. Try to know your parents as much as possible. I won't lie, most coming out announcements can go OK or bad. Some parents might seem okay because they're fine with other people being LGBTQ+ but when it comes to their kid? They freak. It's ALWAYS a risk.
I always advocate that people research shelters, safe houses, friends, other family, the laws in their state, etc. Do that.
Otherwise, try to anticipate their questions.
When did you know?
How did you know?
Was it something we did?
Are you being bullied?
Do you have a partner/are dating?
etc.
Keep CALM. DO NOT REACT if they get loud and vocal. Keep seated, and watch them closely. DON'T yell back, keep calm. Easier said than done, I know, but it WILL help. DON'T let them get a rise out of you. If you do, this could worsen or prolong the experience which is not good.
This is why researching your options is critical before coming out. Shelters, friends, other family, etc. Make SURE you have backup plans. This will help you from freaking out. Chances are, you might not even need them. Sometimes, families already know and they're just waiting to hear it.
I WILL say, don't try to wait, if you plan to come out. Tell your family at a time when you know they're all there, and just generally say, "Hey since you're all here, I wanted to let you know..." Don't try to tell them about a meeting in advance, etc. They might think the worst, like drugs or you or knocked someone up, or you are knocked up, etc. Be frank.
This is one of the most "adult" conversations you'll probably have in your life, which is why it's so stressful. Again, research. Be frank, don't tease them with, "We need to talk". Be ready for questions. Stay calm and collected. Try not to let yourself get worked up as best you can.
And if you need it, I can't recommend the Trevor Project enough, especially if you're in the US. To text, text START to 678-678. For phone, call 1 - 866 - 488 - 7386 and if you're online on a computer, you can connect to their chat function. The link is https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
Good luck, and you are loved. xxxx
