Hey Pandas, On What Do You Base Your Self Worth And Why? (Closed)

I realize that the more I face this question in my Shadow Work, the more I find myself coming to the same conclusion and it never hurts any less; I base my self worth off of what others can take from me: money, government benefits, s*x, servitude, or merely something to keep around to harm. I grew up being taught and fully believing that my worth is nothing if I have nothing.

Since I was a young girl, starting at the age of three, my father was very s*xually ab*sive. As soon as I was old enough to understand what it meant to follow orders, my father had me tr*fficked around among his friends for a small fee. Ever since then and the extensive training, I have always believed that I was not worth anything if I had nothing to give.

To this day, at thirty one years, I am convinced that in order to have worth, I need to be backed up by something - I need to have an income, I need to have an expendable resource that can be taken from me or used... in order to have worth, I need to benefit others. A trait that I've developed from this trauma is a fear of poverty and homelessness and anxiety when it comes to numbers. I've got dyscalculia anyway, so dealing with numbers is already stressful. I realize that I have a lot of un-learning to do. Pavlovian conditioning, the way I experienced it is very harsh and cruel and one thing I must remember is that I am not worthless, as a human being and living, breathing soul, I am priceless.