Just wondering, and to talk about it

#1

"Get over it'" is not the term you want to use.

It comes and goes. I just allow myself to feel down, rest, listen to music, something on youtube, anything to keep myself being alone with my thoughts, stress and guilt. I can slink into an emotional downward spiral anytime if I think of all the horrible things I've dealt with and past crap, and all the expectations put on me.
It's not just sadness or feeling bummed. It's a real physical feeling that gives me a tight feeling in my stomach, horrible tight, aching in my muscles, a pain in my chest, and a throbbing in my head. It can be addictive to feeling depressed because you don't want to be forced to be happy. The last thing you want to do is put a damn fake smile on. I want to talk to someone about what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking about, but not be told how I should "get over it" or "that's in the past". I'm telling you, it's far more better to just hear my trauma and feelings are justified and validated. Just a "Geez, that person is an a**e for treating you that way. I'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on or to let out some venting." (I'm open to others the in that way, too.)
Sometimes I'm feeling great and optimistic. Other times I don't have the motivation to get out of bed, clean and sometimes not even have the energy to make myself something to eat. I'll just eat a slice of plain bread.
It's like a rollercoaster with me. Some days I feel so good I think I won't ever feel depressed again. Lo and behold, a few days later I'm back in the slump.

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Rose Romano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been there. And I know I'll be returning. So many people think depression is just feeling sad. Do you have a therapist you can talk to? Sometimes it helps.

#2

I didn't "get over it". I learned how to live with it. The biggest hurdle for me was accepting that I need to take medication (although not everyone needs medication) and the best thing for me was getting the correct diagnosis, it gave me something real to fight.
Also having people you can trust in your life is helpful. You don't always spot when that dark cloud is sneaking up on you but those whom you trust and know you can let you know and move you out the way if the cloud
Good luck out there!

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#3

The drugs will get you so far. Once you have some slightly more solid ground to start from, therapy can be useful. If you have access to a psychologist they will be able to guide you towards the type of therapy they think will benefit you most.
Not all therapies are stereotypically one-on-one talking and with luck and guidance you will find what works for you. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it - it's tough and draining but worth.
I've lived with depression for over 20 years and have yet to 'get over it'. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. But there's peaks and troughs, good days and bad days. You learn how to be productive on the good days, or the not-quite-as-bad days and you - and only you - will find the path and try to navigate your way through what is a living nightmare for some. Good luck.

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very well said, Scagsy. I especially agree with the good days and bad days, and that it never really goes away. That's been true for me as well.

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#4

You don’t get over it, you just try to control it.

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#5

I usually get depressed if I haven't been writing for a while. I can "get over it" by writing. The problem is if I'm depressed I can't write. I have to sneak up on it a little at a time, usually by reading a previous draft and making little changes.

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Lainie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to do this. Read previous drafts and make some changes. With pleasure.

#6

Got myself a dog. She cheered me up so so much and really helped!!!

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#7

I’ve never “gotten over it” but I definitely am in a better place than the 10 year old suicidal mess I was back then.

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#8

Got a therapist

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very important and helpful. I wish everyone had easy access to mental health care.

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#9

I drew this thread https://www.boredpanda.com/simple-drawings-life-with-depression-chuz/?utm_source=iosapp&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=iosapp
Still fighting it every day but I'm at a better place than back then.
Also, accept that sometime antidepressants do help

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#10

I've never been able to get over it as its not something you can just get over. However I managed my depression with a therapist who was actually good at their job. I had to go onto medication which I'm still on today however I have reached a point where I am not working on decreasing my dosage. I make sure I spend my time doing stuff I enjoy and I've learnt not to bottle everything up as for me that only makes it worse

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#11

As so many have already said, you don't "get over it." Just like you don't "get over" trauma or the death of a loved one. You learn to live with it. You get therapy or medication. You find a support group. You learn how to manage the symptoms so they don't control you. You don't "get over it."

All of that being said, probably the single most useful skill I've learned is recognizing when I'm in (or spiraling into) a depressed episode and identifying the triggers. This is highly individual, so giving my details won't really be helpful. But one of the key skills for me has been learning to sit completely still for a few minutes every day. No devices. No work. No hobbies. No food or drink. Literally sit and do *nothing* but breathe and pump blood through my body for up to 5 minutes every day. My therapist calls it checking in with myself. It gives my body and mind a few minutes to tell me what it needs. Sometimes it's sleep. Sometimes I'm hungry or thirsty. Sometimes it's a good cry or a hot shower. There's been a few times that I realized I was getting sick (like coming down with a cold, not like seriously ill).

Don't get me wrong, it took me a few months to make it to the full 5 minutes and a couple of years to learn exactly what my body and mind were telling me. Learning new skills always takes time. But it only took the willingness to try it for me to start healing.

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#12

I haven't gotten over, but I have found ways to cope with it. I have a very supportive family that tries to help me with my depression. I color and that really helps with my depression. My faith also helps me with my depression.

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#13

Found things that I can enjoy, Journaling, finding people who are good to be around.

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#14

I'm depressed all the time, there's nothing that will ever get rid of it due to the type of depression I have. I manage it. I have a therapist and take medication. I've managed to learn how to live with it so it's more like a sulky pet rides around on my shoulders all the time than the overwhelming thing it used to be.

The best way to learn how to work or overcome your depression are:

1) Therapy - seriously it helps
2) Figure out the kind of depression you have - this usually means working with a therapist or doctor. No this isn't easy and sometimes the answer is unknown, but there are types out there.
3) Figure out your triggers - this goes for any mental health issue. Depression has triggers too. You can't always avoid them, and you'll never find all the triggers, but you can work with what sets it off easier than you can the depression sometimes.
4) Sun-sitting - even in the winter. Sun. It's silly, but on my worst days sometimes I just go sit in the sunlight and it does help.
5) There's one thing you do that brings you peace of makes you feel content. It may be singing, it may be mowing, it's something, there's a thing out there that no matter how crappy you feel it relaxes you a bit to do it. Do that thing and take that as a win. It's something small but its something that's yours.
6) Medication - some people hate it, that's all up to you, but it helps me a lot.

That's about all I have for y'all on that one.

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#15

Stop pretending it is not bad, and getting professional help. Anything else is irresponsible.
It is like "ok, I have cancer, so I will change my attitude and read books and listen to podcasts and get myself a dog". Nope. This is serious. See a professional. Now. NOW. you're still reading? I said F***ng now!

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#16

Prozac and masturbation.

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#17

Because mine was due to a chemical imbalance rather than reactive to a situation that occurred, medication was the only to solve it

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#18

I spent countless hours trying to simply push whatever was bothering me or whatever felt bad out of my mind. But nope, not how depression works. I also always wished people who were laid back, didn't work, and/or also just plainly had a great life could just switch with me for a day. But I don't want people to experience this. Also not how it works. It took me a very, very, very long time to open up to anyone- and they were not a therapist. It was my mom. I am female, so I felt better sharing to my mom. She knew it all, and she had gone through everything. One other thing that helped me is when I started to journal. I seriously thought I couldn't, but when a girl's gonna write, she's gonna write a 9-part novel. I started digging deeper into what triggered the depression, how badly it triggered it, and how it affected my daily life. I started thinking about how I physically felt, and the mental factor that contributed to doing that was when I realized that the depression seems to make my body just leave the conversation. Cliched advice, but you should also just remember where you are right now, who's around you, what you're doing, and what's around you. Try a therapist or someone who you can truly confide in.

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#19

Nutritious food, good sleep, exercise, and sunshine are all hard to do without. I've been both helped and hurt by counselling, and got considerable insight from journalling. However, a recent turning point was when I resumed my favourite job as a hobby. I had to organize a bit to do that, and it started a trend.

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#20

I got over it by taking alwhole lot of tiny but important steps. I had to learn that depression is, in fact, a disease and a potential deadly disease at that. Learning that really helped me to get rid of some of the tremendous amount of guilt that I felt.
It took a whole new way of looking at myself to get over it. Medication isn't a solution, but it helps to stabilize my mood swings so therapy can actually help. Wat helped me was taking tiny steps. Congragulating myself for getting out of bed or eating a decent meal. Going outside for a walk around the block. Also, telling about wat was (literally) happening to me, how i was feeling and letting in people to help. It wasn't so much about fightig, but rather learnig to accept that it can happen and building my own support system to prevent my moods from going too black. But, with all this wat really saved me was sharing this one phrase on repeat: I need help!
These days I'm doing really well and I keep building on my own support system. Very proud of myself and everybody out there who lives or has lived with this horrible disease!

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