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So I know I barley talk about my.problems but I just f****** hate my parents. They aren't physically abusive (other than the occasional spanks when I was younger) but they always make me feel like I'm worthless and so paranoid about myself.
I lately find myself to slowly withdraw from the world, even from my friends. Nobody understands me and I wish I can just run away.
Any tips for things I can do without any socializing? Or like things I can do to get out of my parents grasp other than my room?
Thanks!
-A Berry Thankful Nightingale
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#1
Hey Pandas just to clarify- I think I sounded quite angry in my post description. My parents are not physically abusive at all, I just value my independence and freedom more than they think and I'd love to be able to venture on my own without them eyeing me all the time. Please upvote so everyone can see :)
Final score:
6points
RELATED:
#2
Hey Black Nightingale! I would really encourage you not to seek to be isolated from your parents. The scriptures tell us that not only does God expect us to honor our parents, but that there is blessing to be found in doing so. I would encourage you to deal with them first in courage and humility as expressed in “I” statements, such as “I feel unloved or embarrassed when this happens”. That approach can often take the edge off what could be combative (I’ve done it both ways). If they are truly unreasonable, then try to be at peace as much as you are able, and show them as much honor as you can. In the long run, it will be worth it, even if only for the experience and grit you gain by striving to honor difficult people. Obviously if it becomes a situation of violence, sexual abuse, denial of food, or other criminal acts, call the police yesterday. Hope this is helpful :)
Final score:
2points
ThatBlackNightingale 2 years ago
Thank you :) Thankfully, my parents aren't physically or that emotionally abusive. I just fell that um naturally independent and wish they could've been so accepting. Even in my schools, they're huge on teamwork lol.
J (Submission author) 2 years ago
@ BlackNightingale, Btw, I love the username, that has a beautiful poetry about it! I would encourage you to view this as an opportunity. You have a chance to gain experience in showing honor to your folks, while at the same time expressing what you struggle with. It may not feel like it, (being known can be really scary), but having this sort of interaction with your parents should be a lot safer place to practice these skills than, for instance, if you were in a similar position at a job. For what it’s worth :) I’ll be praying that things improve between y’all
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Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago (edited)
Id like to add to your abuse list: as stated abuse has two halves, physical and emotional, and if your parents are emotionally abusing you, ie belittling comments, shamefull and hurfull speech against you, i suggest you confront them about it and if nothing changes i suggest seeking outside help because no one deserves that!!
J (Submission author) 2 years ago
A thought on the emotional abuse side, these sorts of things can be very difficult to define unless they are extreme. I would exhort you to take the time to define the precise things that are hurtful to you, and then yes, discuss them, but also put in the effort to present that respectfully (with the intent of achieving the best outcome). There is a time to go scorched-earth, but as regards parents I would encourage that only as a final response to blatant continual sin. Echoing what Donut has said here, there can be benefit in bringing in an external party if headway cannot be made one on one (see Matthew 18). If you go this way, try to find someone both you and your parents respect. Also, be ready to forgive what has been repented for, and to overlook what can be overlooked (not all sins can be overlooked, but that’s a different discussion).
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Is there another family member you could go live with? You might find your relationship with your parents improves if you're not living in the same house.
Final score:
2points
#4
I know you said no socializing, but please consider volunteering to a worthy cause. I find volunteering less stressful, people are much nicer and more forgiving when they are not paying for your help.
Final score:
1point
#5
I feel your pain. I am 45 years old and my mother still emotionally abuses me. I hope you are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and are able to get out. It might be too late for me, but I hope and pray you are able to escape. Hang in there and good luck!
Final score:
1point
