“My Father Never Paid Child Support”: Grandparents Learn Their Son Basically Abandoned His Daughter, Teach Him A Lesson
Interview With Author
‘Happily ever after’ may look great in the pages of a fairytale, but it’s not always how the real world works. Unfortunately. Good, strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationships can and do exist. However, not all relationships work out. This can lead to messy divorces that leave a trail of emotional fallout over decades. In some of the worst-case scenarios, some parents choose to abandon their spouse and kids to fend for themselves. If the parent you’re left with has a stable income, things might not be as bad, though the hurt still remains.
Redditor u/Dull-Handle-7586, who’s planning on getting married soon, shared a riveting tale about her family. Specifically, about her estranged father and how he reacted after realizing that he’d lose a ton of money because he’d never told his parents about the fact that he had her as a daughter.
The author of the story explained how her grandparents finally found out that she exists and were absolutely livid that their son, her father, never decided to share this information. As a result, they decided to give her a gift to cover all of the child support and education that he should have paid, had he been there. A gift that came straight out of his trust fund. You’ll find the full story in the OP’s own words, as well as how the AITA community reacted to it below, so be sure to read on, Pandas.
The author of the viral post, redditor u/Dull-Handle-7586, was kind enough to share some of her thoughts with Bored Panda. She told us that she was amazed by all of the positive comments that she got on Reddit. “I thought I was going to come off as greedy. The way people reacted helped settle in my mind that I did the right thing accepting the money. I think that there are a lot of single parents and children of divorce that were not lucky enough to have the solid support system and resources that my mother and I had. So when they read about the rare case where something positive came from a breakup they rejoice,” she said.
A woman’s paternal grandparents only recently learned that she exists
Image credits: FORMAT arw (not the actual photo)
To make up for her estranged father’s actions, they decided to give her a gift… straight out of his trust fund. Here’s the story, in full
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
The author of the post clarified a few things for the AITA community in a couple of updates
Image credits: Dull-Handle-7586
The author of the post also told Bored Panda a bit about the scholarship that she helped set up. “Mine and my mother’s field of work is very rewarding on an emotional and professional level, but not necessarily remunerative. I hope that by offering the incentive of a scholarship we can find more people to carry on her work and research,” she said.
“I was blessed to have a maternal family that is financially stable. It can be difficult to think of others when you are worried about your next rent check or meal. That being said, there are many opportunities for people to donate their time and labor if money isn’t something they can give,” she shared that one can be charitable in various ways, not just by donating money.
“My grandparents seem like lovely people and my half-siblings are very mature and responsible young people. I hope to travel to the UK with my husband to learn more about them and that side of my family when time permits.”
The author of the post shared that she and her husband went to Colombia for their honeymoon. “It is a beautiful and tragic place. They are clawing their way out of a terrible situation and doing it with grace and joy. The cities we visited were vibrant and full of young people striving to succeed in a whole new world compared to the city my mom’s friend Carlos left,” she opened up.
“We visited Bogota, Medellin, Cartagena, Cali, and Popayan. The city of Medellin in particular had made incredible strides to overcome the years of violence and crime they experienced under the narco cartels. I hope that people start to visit and invest in the country as we feel that they have incredible potential as both a tourist destination and economic engine for that area of the globe.”
The OP made it clear that she didn’t really need the money because “we are decidedly upper middle class here.” Nonetheless, she decided to keep the funds. In one of the updates to her story, she decided that, together with her mom, she’ll set up a scholarship for people who want to go into her field of study.
The redditor’s estranged father was mad that his own parents decided to use his trust fund for this. He got in contact with the OP and told her that “his current wife and children will be negatively affected if I don’t give him back this money.” The AITA community was overwhelmingly in support of the redditor. They felt that she definitely deserved the money. They also stressed the fact that it’s not her father’s money but rather her grandparents’; thus, they can do with it what they want.
Being generous with your time, energy, and resources can actually make you happier. Human beings are hardwired for socializing with others. What’s more, when we give someone a gift, our brains tend to reward us in pretty much the same way as when we receive one ourselves. Being altruistic and being an active member of our community, whether you’re incredibly well off or barely getting by, is one of the key things that improve our quality of life.
“If you think about it human beings are social species, we evolved to live in groups so working together and doing things to help each other is the social glue that keeps us together,” Vanessa King, the Head of Psychology at ‘Action for Happiness,’ told Bored Panda during an earlier interview.
“Small daily actions one at a time can help us to make altruism a lifetime habit. You could start out small by deciding you are going to smile at everyone you meet or pay three people a compliment today. You can give money to charity, donate to a food bank, or volunteer your time over Christmas. You can leave a food package or a note for an elderly neighbor. All of these actions help others and boost your own happiness and if we are happier, research shows we are even more likely to help others.”
Some people, however, do kind things only for the praise and attention they receive. But King, from AfH, said that we shouldn’t worry too much about it. “You will find that doing things for others helps you feel good when you see people’s responses. Once you see the difference you can make in the world and to your own happiness, altruism can grow naturally.”
The OP shared a few more thoughts and details down in the comments as well
Here’s what the internet thought about what the grandparents did
Oh look, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions, come back to bite me in the a**e
Sorry about the father, but congratulations on having wonderful grandparents!
I just love stand-up people! Instead of defending him, dismissing her, or ignoring it all...they stepped up in a glorious way! She is lucky to have moral, upstanding grandparents, it could have easily gone a very different direction. The wealthy usually have more than enough to cover up misdeeds.
Load More Replies...
She shouldn't give it back it was her dad's decision to just walk away from his baby and not take any responsibility. The fact that his parents held him accountable is what a good parent should do even if the child is s grown adult.
Oh look, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions, come back to bite me in the a**e
Sorry about the father, but congratulations on having wonderful grandparents!
I just love stand-up people! Instead of defending him, dismissing her, or ignoring it all...they stepped up in a glorious way! She is lucky to have moral, upstanding grandparents, it could have easily gone a very different direction. The wealthy usually have more than enough to cover up misdeeds.
Load More Replies... She shouldn't give it back it was her dad's decision to just walk away from his baby and not take any responsibility. The fact that his parents held him accountable is what a good parent should do even if the child is s grown adult.
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