Teen Asks If She Was Wrong To Run Away With Her Cat After Her Stepdad Attempts To Secretly Euthanize It
There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for our four-legged friends. Especially if they have special needs. But this heartbreaking story from a caring teen girl shows that some human hearts are just too cold for animals.
“We have a special needs cat, Muffin, and she’s quite financially demanding,” the author started her post on the r/AITA subreddit, and continued: “Money is tight but I’ve saved up a pretty decent amount.”
Recently, her stepdad got an idea to euthanize Muffin, claiming that “if we were stranded on a desert island she’d be the first one to go.” Horrifyingly, the spine-chilling scenario almost turned into reality when the teen caught dad trying to sneak out the poor cat to euthanize it.
As you can imagine, the teen couldn’t risk the life of her beloved Muffin, so they ran away. She asked the internet if it was the right thing to do as the fear of ruining the bond with her mom started creeping in.
This teen was forced to run away with her special needs cat after her stepdad tried to sneak out and euthanize it
Image credits: barnimages (not the actual photo)
So she shared her heartbreaking story on r/AITA amid the fears of jeopardizing the close relationship she had with her mom
There are around 1.3M stepfathers in the United States. Fatherly reports that more than 1,300 new blended families form each day, and more than 50 percent of children under age 13 live with one biological parent and one stepparent. The current divorce rate can be to blame. Various studies showed that on average, a marriage in the US lasts seven years and roughly half of all marriages end in divorce.
It’s no secret that the formation of blended families affects kids of all ages, and while for some the transition is smooth, many struggle. Researchers have suggested that kids who have experienced the divorce of parents have twice the risk of developing behavioral problems than kids with both parents.
James H. Bray, a former president of the American Psychological Association, told Fatherly that “Most research shows that 15 to 20 percent of kids in stepfamilies do not develop within normal limits, compared to about 10 percent of kids from non-divorced families.” Having said that, he added that “the vast majority of kids in stepfamilies do quite well,” so it all depends on the particular situation.
And this is what people had to comment on this whole incident
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Stepdad is a right heartless bastard. If you want to get the measure of a person, look at how they treat those weaker than themselves and it will tell you all you need to know.
Everything has a right to live. And we have to speak for the ones who can't. Heartless bastards cannot be dealt with. I think you did the right thing,
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Imagine choosing your crappy husband over your hardworking daughter...and then being brazen enough to give said daughter an ultimatum.
Sounds like the mother is being bullied herself by this man. I would ask the girl if she has any aunts or any friends of her mothers she can confide in? They need to know what is happening in this relationship and offer the mother some help and support to leave this a-hole. As for their relationship as mother and daughter. I dunno, my mother did something similar to me and chose her husband over me. Our relationship never recovered, partly because I know she would do it all over again. My mother wasn't being bullied either, she just chose her happiness over our safety and wellbeing. It sucks but at the end of the day, they are the ones missing out. Hold your ground.
Also threatening the life of a beloved pet is a sign of domestic violence or could escalate into that. Also this situation made the mom lose a significant relation. This is how abusers function. They corrupt the bonds of their partners to other people. The girl is very brave and thank God she has a suport network herself.
Load More Replies... need to euthanize stepdad. if he is justifying his position based on financial strain, then i am pretty sure he costs more to support than the cat. And what Mother did is at minimum two fold, first by threatening financial blackmail, and second by choosing to punish her daughter's ethical actions, and then siding with the idiot stepdad. Not much else to go on besides what's in the story, but it points to a toxic home so i think she should stay away if she can. Assuming that she lives somewhere where 18 is considered an adult there may be complications, but for sure Mom is a bitch and psycho Stepdad cares for nothing but himself.
I would look him dead in his eyes and tell him. Old people are special needs too. Someday I might be in charge of whether or not you continue to live beyond being useful.
If mom isn't willing to stand up to stepfather about this, then she gets what she gets. Personally...if it were my daughter and her cat, I would have told the jackass that if he step one toe towards that cat, he will be on the front lawn with all of his clothes and he can go find some other place to live. As far as the expense situation, call around. There are plenty of vets out there that will help you with the cat at a discount if you are willing to volunteer time at the clinic.
The comment she gets what she gets is really cruel for me.... saying what you would do in this situation has no point.. some women can't leave for a million reasons! Better to have more sympathy in this case
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You are doing what is right for yourself and for Muffin. So what if your mom is pissed. Love is not conditional. She has made it so. Your step"dad" is an A&&, not you. Stay with your boyfriend's family. You will lose everything if you go "home." You gain everything if you stay away.
Thank goodness she got out. If he'd euthanize a cat, and scares his wife, then it's time to go go go!
NTA. I had a similar situation growing up: mom was with an asshole who treated me like s**t my whole life. She never stood up to him in regards to me, and I eventually left. Haven't spoken to either of them in years, and I'm much happier now. If it comes down to it, you may find that not having a relationship with your mom may be the best thing for you.
I think that the daughter has made a very adult decision. It is very upsetting that her mom is married to a man she is afraid of and so sided with him. But then again, is that her reason? You don't really know that either, hard as that whole idea may be to accept. If she can handle the finances of school & keep & look after the cat, go for it. There are situations where the only & best thing you can do is to save yourself. At a later date check in to see where things are. It didn't involve a pet, but with my mom. Verbally abusive & controlling. I caved my whole life until one day she did something that made me draw the line & stand. She walked away from her abusive mother, & never saw her dad again. I communicated that if she wanted us to end up like she & her mom did, keep it up. But I won't make her mistake with dad. She knew I meant it. Seriously meant it. She backed down, & if she hadn't I would have walked. Right now, save yourself & cat. Deal with mom later.
Comes a time in a young life when they need to break away from parents to some degree and begin their adult life. Mom gave you a shove out of her nest. Keep the door open a crack so you can talk, but do NOT move back in with her unless abusive man is gone. It's ok, you are NTA for being a loving adult.
What caught me off guard is the the bills for the Vet are expensive. We have government run veterinary hospitals with wonderful doctors. I never had to shell out a bomb to treat my pet. Coming back to the topic, she is definitely better off away from her toxic family.
Where is this at? Vet bills can get very high in the US. I have a chronically ill dog who needs regular blood work and other testing done. It's not unusual for my vet bills to be $800 plus.
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Your mom is afraid of her husband, the words she were telling you are probably directed by her husband. He is not a good person, you don't try to kill someone's cat Good thing you got Muffin out, stay at your boyfriends house, and if your mom want to cut ties with you because you won't let SD kill your cat, then that be it. She will regret later in life, she will miss out on all the important things in your life and she will regret it. Is it possible that she chose SD out of fear? Not sure, but the best thing for you at your cat is to stay with people that love you and keep both of you safe.
Your Mum should throw that bastard right out of the door! Attempts to kill a family member don't go well. He is a worthless pile of s**t. You mother has a choice to make - she either keeps her daughter and the cat ... or she keeps an unempathic SOB. I think he is too expensive anyway ... I mean, you see what his antics cost your family right now. Do you think people like that change? They don't. Heartless, cold, unable to feel. He has to leave. Don't go back as long as he is there. Never talk to him again. He deserves being cut out of your life - immediately, permanently, and without any reason to even consider a compromise. He's lucky you're not my girlfriend. If I imagine anyone attempting to have my cat killed, I can't give any warranties not to physically remove their ability to do so - I'm responsible for her wellbeing, and that, I take serious. She's worth more than that guy anyway, and so are you. Mum has to, finally, stand up for you. Allow her time, but never cave in!
why the f*ck would you even consider you being the asshole in this situation
NTA, but her stepdad sure is. And her mom is afraid to stand up to him? Does not sound like healthy relationship.
It really tells you something about how downtrodden people are if they are seriously asking if the are the asshole in these scenarios.
The husband is downright abusive. Harming pets is a form of domestic abuse. The mom is enabling the abuse. Possibly he threatened or put pressure on her when the daughter ran away but that’s no excuse for not protecting your child or pet. The mother herself is possibly a victim of abuse but it’s not on the daughter to fix that.
If someone put a gun to my cat's head and I HAD TO choose between my cat and my mom, I'd choose my mom. But I don't have to. So actually I would take my cat and walk far, far away from the sociopath who thinks they have the right to decide who lives and dies in my life. It's mom's choice to stay with said sociopath. I wish this girl all the best. She's gonna become an adult real fast.
I have a context question here; is there a biological father anywhere in the family dynamic? If so, and if she has a decent relationship with him, she could turn to him for help. If he lives close to where she’s going to college, she may be able to stay with him, to help offset vet expenses for Muffin. I well understand her situation. My parents never divorced, but my father was mentally unstable and, instead of shielding us kids from him, our mother chose to side with him against us. What saddens me about it is, if you ask anyone who knew her when she was in high school, she was incredibly ambitious, wanted to have a career, and maybe marry after becoming established in it. Instead, her father had a stroke, divorced her grandmother, and scattered the family, so she went husband-hunting instead, made a bad choice, and married my father. Then she became helpless (actually learned helplessness, as she had once been totally self-reliant), and totally dependent in him.
Another prime example of a woman who shouldn't have procreated. I hope the daughter stays safe, with the cat, and maybe one day, mom will realize what she did and dump that man.
Demi - the mother did procreate and produced a loving daughter. Why are you blaming the woman? Why are you not saying that here is a prime example of a MAN who shouldn't procreate.
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I see it differently if the is so special needs that it is difficult to pay household bills and the vet bills the parents are being asked to choose a cat over their children and themselves. I know when it was time to put down my beloved cat Cinderella it was one of the hardest decisions. But she was in so much pain it was necessary. I am not heartless but if I have to choose the well being of my family over a pet. My family comes first. Maybe this young lady will one day grow up and have the responsibility of feeding, clothing and providing Healthcare for her own child. This might help her understand what her parents are dealing with. Remember guys we are hearing one side of the story from an emotional girl who now gets to live with her boyfriend. Let's hear all the facts before you bash the parents.
Egg donors that prioritise their current bed warmer over their child don’t deserve the title of mother. The title Mother is earned. Just because you can reproduce you don’t automatically get the name.
Ask your SD EXACTLY what the criteria is to euthanize Muffin. Then audibly translate those criteria to human standards. Ie, too old, each cats life equals X number of years, Muffin is x time y. Then mention how many years the a... SD has to go before HE reaches that age.
Once the mom realizes her daughter literally doesn't need her, I wonder if she'll come around
This is bringing up bad sh*t from my own childhood. My mom repeatedly chose her husband over her kids, still does in fact, to the point where she even forced me out of a moving car while telling me I was ruining her marriage before speeding off. He never threatened to euthanize any of my pets, but he did beat my dog on a regular basis and my mom just told me it was my fault for not training her better. I was 11 years old at the time. I loved that dog so damn much. She was literally my lifeline. I came really close to running away with her a few times.
Sounds like your mother is being emotionally abused. I'm sorry she has forced you to choose between your relationship with her and your own and your cat's welfare, but until she gets the strength to leave you can't help her. You can only help yourself and your cat. Make it clear to her that if she needs your help you will be there for her but you're not moving back in. You can't force her to leave and she may not even be ready to admit she is in trouble. In the end you can only do what is best for you and your cat and hope one day she realises she also needs to leave. In the UK this kind of abuse has been recognised by law as 'coercive control' and it is insidious.
POSTER OF STORY: How can I help her financially. Please no scammers.
Not to appear insensitive, but 'balling' means something quite different from 'bawling'.
You did what was right. I'm sorry your mom can't see it or was too afraid, or whatever her problem, to back you. All the best for your college days!
Stepdad is a piece of s**t and her mother isn't much better in that she doesn't stick up for her daughter and instead sides with her husband. This 17 year old is an amazing woman, despite her home environment and the world would be a better place with more people like her in it. Kudos to her boyfriend and his family as well for being there for her and Muffin when her own mother wasn't. This girl is a hero.
No dear, your mom is the asshole for laying that responsibility on your shoulders because she's too afraid to stand up to her husband.
Oh goodness... that's very weird. When I first read the title, I perceived it as this lady, who was special needs, had some kind of emotional support cat, and that her stepfather was trying to secretly euthanize said special needs lady. I also thought the lady was nicknamed Muffin or something. I am very tired.
This can all be resolved in 3 easy steps. 1. Take out life insurance against your stepdad. 2. Send me his details. 3 Wait 1 week and then collect the life insurance money.
The stepdads motive is disgusting the intent however to euthanise a cat that could not live without medical care can be the animal friendly sollution. Keeping a cat alive with a low quality of life because the owner wants to have it around for sentimental reasons sounds like animal abuse to me.
I thought he wanted to get the cat to a vet to get killed, but it was late at night, when the vets are closed. Someone on reddit said he wanted to throw him out somewhere or kill him himself.
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So taking care of a special needs animal is abuse? I adopted a special needs dog. He has many chronic health issues and we are at the vet on average once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. But his quality of life is good. When he's feeling good, we get out and have a lot of fun. When he's not, we stay in and snuggle. God bless this little girl who puts the needs of her cat above her own. We need more people in the world like her.
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Isn't that a cat in a wheelchair?
Load More Replies... Stepdad is a right heartless bastard. If you want to get the measure of a person, look at how they treat those weaker than themselves and it will tell you all you need to know.
Everything has a right to live. And we have to speak for the ones who can't. Heartless bastards cannot be dealt with. I think you did the right thing,
Load More Replies... Imagine choosing your crappy husband over your hardworking daughter...and then being brazen enough to give said daughter an ultimatum.
Sounds like the mother is being bullied herself by this man. I would ask the girl if she has any aunts or any friends of her mothers she can confide in? They need to know what is happening in this relationship and offer the mother some help and support to leave this a-hole. As for their relationship as mother and daughter. I dunno, my mother did something similar to me and chose her husband over me. Our relationship never recovered, partly because I know she would do it all over again. My mother wasn't being bullied either, she just chose her happiness over our safety and wellbeing. It sucks but at the end of the day, they are the ones missing out. Hold your ground.
Also threatening the life of a beloved pet is a sign of domestic violence or could escalate into that. Also this situation made the mom lose a significant relation. This is how abusers function. They corrupt the bonds of their partners to other people. The girl is very brave and thank God she has a suport network herself.
Load More Replies... need to euthanize stepdad. if he is justifying his position based on financial strain, then i am pretty sure he costs more to support than the cat. And what Mother did is at minimum two fold, first by threatening financial blackmail, and second by choosing to punish her daughter's ethical actions, and then siding with the idiot stepdad. Not much else to go on besides what's in the story, but it points to a toxic home so i think she should stay away if she can. Assuming that she lives somewhere where 18 is considered an adult there may be complications, but for sure Mom is a bitch and psycho Stepdad cares for nothing but himself.
I would look him dead in his eyes and tell him. Old people are special needs too. Someday I might be in charge of whether or not you continue to live beyond being useful.
If mom isn't willing to stand up to stepfather about this, then she gets what she gets. Personally...if it were my daughter and her cat, I would have told the jackass that if he step one toe towards that cat, he will be on the front lawn with all of his clothes and he can go find some other place to live. As far as the expense situation, call around. There are plenty of vets out there that will help you with the cat at a discount if you are willing to volunteer time at the clinic.
The comment she gets what she gets is really cruel for me.... saying what you would do in this situation has no point.. some women can't leave for a million reasons! Better to have more sympathy in this case
Load More Replies... You are doing what is right for yourself and for Muffin. So what if your mom is pissed. Love is not conditional. She has made it so. Your step"dad" is an A&&, not you. Stay with your boyfriend's family. You will lose everything if you go "home." You gain everything if you stay away.
Thank goodness she got out. If he'd euthanize a cat, and scares his wife, then it's time to go go go!
NTA. I had a similar situation growing up: mom was with an asshole who treated me like s**t my whole life. She never stood up to him in regards to me, and I eventually left. Haven't spoken to either of them in years, and I'm much happier now. If it comes down to it, you may find that not having a relationship with your mom may be the best thing for you.
I think that the daughter has made a very adult decision. It is very upsetting that her mom is married to a man she is afraid of and so sided with him. But then again, is that her reason? You don't really know that either, hard as that whole idea may be to accept. If she can handle the finances of school & keep & look after the cat, go for it. There are situations where the only & best thing you can do is to save yourself. At a later date check in to see where things are. It didn't involve a pet, but with my mom. Verbally abusive & controlling. I caved my whole life until one day she did something that made me draw the line & stand. She walked away from her abusive mother, & never saw her dad again. I communicated that if she wanted us to end up like she & her mom did, keep it up. But I won't make her mistake with dad. She knew I meant it. Seriously meant it. She backed down, & if she hadn't I would have walked. Right now, save yourself & cat. Deal with mom later.
Comes a time in a young life when they need to break away from parents to some degree and begin their adult life. Mom gave you a shove out of her nest. Keep the door open a crack so you can talk, but do NOT move back in with her unless abusive man is gone. It's ok, you are NTA for being a loving adult.
What caught me off guard is the the bills for the Vet are expensive. We have government run veterinary hospitals with wonderful doctors. I never had to shell out a bomb to treat my pet. Coming back to the topic, she is definitely better off away from her toxic family.
Where is this at? Vet bills can get very high in the US. I have a chronically ill dog who needs regular blood work and other testing done. It's not unusual for my vet bills to be $800 plus.
Load More Replies... Your mom is afraid of her husband, the words she were telling you are probably directed by her husband. He is not a good person, you don't try to kill someone's cat Good thing you got Muffin out, stay at your boyfriends house, and if your mom want to cut ties with you because you won't let SD kill your cat, then that be it. She will regret later in life, she will miss out on all the important things in your life and she will regret it. Is it possible that she chose SD out of fear? Not sure, but the best thing for you at your cat is to stay with people that love you and keep both of you safe.
Your Mum should throw that bastard right out of the door! Attempts to kill a family member don't go well. He is a worthless pile of s**t. You mother has a choice to make - she either keeps her daughter and the cat ... or she keeps an unempathic SOB. I think he is too expensive anyway ... I mean, you see what his antics cost your family right now. Do you think people like that change? They don't. Heartless, cold, unable to feel. He has to leave. Don't go back as long as he is there. Never talk to him again. He deserves being cut out of your life - immediately, permanently, and without any reason to even consider a compromise. He's lucky you're not my girlfriend. If I imagine anyone attempting to have my cat killed, I can't give any warranties not to physically remove their ability to do so - I'm responsible for her wellbeing, and that, I take serious. She's worth more than that guy anyway, and so are you. Mum has to, finally, stand up for you. Allow her time, but never cave in!
why the f*ck would you even consider you being the asshole in this situation
NTA, but her stepdad sure is. And her mom is afraid to stand up to him? Does not sound like healthy relationship.
It really tells you something about how downtrodden people are if they are seriously asking if the are the asshole in these scenarios.
The husband is downright abusive. Harming pets is a form of domestic abuse. The mom is enabling the abuse. Possibly he threatened or put pressure on her when the daughter ran away but that’s no excuse for not protecting your child or pet. The mother herself is possibly a victim of abuse but it’s not on the daughter to fix that.
If someone put a gun to my cat's head and I HAD TO choose between my cat and my mom, I'd choose my mom. But I don't have to. So actually I would take my cat and walk far, far away from the sociopath who thinks they have the right to decide who lives and dies in my life. It's mom's choice to stay with said sociopath. I wish this girl all the best. She's gonna become an adult real fast.
I have a context question here; is there a biological father anywhere in the family dynamic? If so, and if she has a decent relationship with him, she could turn to him for help. If he lives close to where she’s going to college, she may be able to stay with him, to help offset vet expenses for Muffin. I well understand her situation. My parents never divorced, but my father was mentally unstable and, instead of shielding us kids from him, our mother chose to side with him against us. What saddens me about it is, if you ask anyone who knew her when she was in high school, she was incredibly ambitious, wanted to have a career, and maybe marry after becoming established in it. Instead, her father had a stroke, divorced her grandmother, and scattered the family, so she went husband-hunting instead, made a bad choice, and married my father. Then she became helpless (actually learned helplessness, as she had once been totally self-reliant), and totally dependent in him.
Another prime example of a woman who shouldn't have procreated. I hope the daughter stays safe, with the cat, and maybe one day, mom will realize what she did and dump that man.
Demi - the mother did procreate and produced a loving daughter. Why are you blaming the woman? Why are you not saying that here is a prime example of a MAN who shouldn't procreate.
Load More Replies... I see it differently if the is so special needs that it is difficult to pay household bills and the vet bills the parents are being asked to choose a cat over their children and themselves. I know when it was time to put down my beloved cat Cinderella it was one of the hardest decisions. But she was in so much pain it was necessary. I am not heartless but if I have to choose the well being of my family over a pet. My family comes first. Maybe this young lady will one day grow up and have the responsibility of feeding, clothing and providing Healthcare for her own child. This might help her understand what her parents are dealing with. Remember guys we are hearing one side of the story from an emotional girl who now gets to live with her boyfriend. Let's hear all the facts before you bash the parents.
Egg donors that prioritise their current bed warmer over their child don’t deserve the title of mother. The title Mother is earned. Just because you can reproduce you don’t automatically get the name.
Ask your SD EXACTLY what the criteria is to euthanize Muffin. Then audibly translate those criteria to human standards. Ie, too old, each cats life equals X number of years, Muffin is x time y. Then mention how many years the a... SD has to go before HE reaches that age.
Once the mom realizes her daughter literally doesn't need her, I wonder if she'll come around
This is bringing up bad sh*t from my own childhood. My mom repeatedly chose her husband over her kids, still does in fact, to the point where she even forced me out of a moving car while telling me I was ruining her marriage before speeding off. He never threatened to euthanize any of my pets, but he did beat my dog on a regular basis and my mom just told me it was my fault for not training her better. I was 11 years old at the time. I loved that dog so damn much. She was literally my lifeline. I came really close to running away with her a few times.
Sounds like your mother is being emotionally abused. I'm sorry she has forced you to choose between your relationship with her and your own and your cat's welfare, but until she gets the strength to leave you can't help her. You can only help yourself and your cat. Make it clear to her that if she needs your help you will be there for her but you're not moving back in. You can't force her to leave and she may not even be ready to admit she is in trouble. In the end you can only do what is best for you and your cat and hope one day she realises she also needs to leave. In the UK this kind of abuse has been recognised by law as 'coercive control' and it is insidious.
POSTER OF STORY: How can I help her financially. Please no scammers.
Not to appear insensitive, but 'balling' means something quite different from 'bawling'.
You did what was right. I'm sorry your mom can't see it or was too afraid, or whatever her problem, to back you. All the best for your college days!
Stepdad is a piece of s**t and her mother isn't much better in that she doesn't stick up for her daughter and instead sides with her husband. This 17 year old is an amazing woman, despite her home environment and the world would be a better place with more people like her in it. Kudos to her boyfriend and his family as well for being there for her and Muffin when her own mother wasn't. This girl is a hero.
No dear, your mom is the asshole for laying that responsibility on your shoulders because she's too afraid to stand up to her husband.
Oh goodness... that's very weird. When I first read the title, I perceived it as this lady, who was special needs, had some kind of emotional support cat, and that her stepfather was trying to secretly euthanize said special needs lady. I also thought the lady was nicknamed Muffin or something. I am very tired.
This can all be resolved in 3 easy steps. 1. Take out life insurance against your stepdad. 2. Send me his details. 3 Wait 1 week and then collect the life insurance money.
The stepdads motive is disgusting the intent however to euthanise a cat that could not live without medical care can be the animal friendly sollution. Keeping a cat alive with a low quality of life because the owner wants to have it around for sentimental reasons sounds like animal abuse to me.
I thought he wanted to get the cat to a vet to get killed, but it was late at night, when the vets are closed. Someone on reddit said he wanted to throw him out somewhere or kill him himself.
Load More Replies... So taking care of a special needs animal is abuse? I adopted a special needs dog. He has many chronic health issues and we are at the vet on average once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. But his quality of life is good. When he's feeling good, we get out and have a lot of fun. When he's not, we stay in and snuggle. God bless this little girl who puts the needs of her cat above her own. We need more people in the world like her.
Load More Replies... Isn't that a cat in a wheelchair?
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