Mom Is Furious After Gay BIL Refused To Explain To Her 11-Year-Old Daughter How Gay Sex Works, Making Her Cry
Teaching kids about the birds and the bees is never easy—it can be a bit awkward and embarrassing for everyone involved. Some parents prefer to have ‘the talk’ with their children themselves, some others leave that up to the school, while many parents do a mixed approach. However, not all parents are able (or want) to answer every single question that their kids might raise.
Redditor the_goblinking1, a gay man, shared a story about how he found himself in a tough pickle at his dad’s birthday when his niece wanted to know how he and his fiancé make love. He didn’t want to answer that, but this made his sister-in-law incredibly angry. Read on for the full story.
Sex education is essential for students. However, not everyone agrees on who should teach it: teachers, parents, or someone else
Image credits: RossHelen (not the actual photo)
A gay man shared how he felt it wasn’t his place to explain to his niece how he and his partner make love
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
The man’s sister-in-law thought that he should have simply been honest with his niece
The author of the story was anxious that he might have been in the wrong for not giving his 11-year-old niece an explanation about how gay men sleep with each other. She had asked him directly, but he decided that it wasn’t his place to provide the details.
This, however, made his niece cry and, in turn, made the OP’s sister-in-law very mad. “We then told her that we didn’t feel comfortable doing that and that if my niece was really itching to know how two men have sex then her and my brother should tell her,” he wrote on Reddit how he felt that it wasn’t his responsibility to get into the details of how sex, love, and relationships work.
He still felt conflicted about the entire exchange, so he turned to the AITA subreddit for advice. His post got over 14.6k upvotes, and the vast majority of readers were very sympathetic. They thought that he did nothing wrong: he wasn’t required to teach his niece these things—if her parents thought it was this important, they could provide the information themselves.
How sex education is taught will depend on where you live and on your school district
How children are educated about sex varies widely depending on what country they live in. And even then, there can be very different approaches within the country itself. For instance, in the United States, sex education programming varies very widely across states and school districts. However, according to Planned Parenthood, the vast majority of parents (93%) support having sex education taught in middle school. An even greater number (96%) support it being taught in high school.
Most parents support the teaching of topics like healthy relationships, birth control, sexual orientation, puberty, and STIs. However, the particulars will depend on the specific school district you send your children to.
Meanwhile, in the United Kingdom, Relationships Education is compulsory in all primary schools, but sex education is not. In the UK, by the end of primary school, students are expected to know about the importance of families, how healthy family life looks like, and how others’ families might look different from theirs. According to the UK government’s statutory guidance, it’s important to stress the fact that everyone should respect those differences “and know that other children’s families are also characterized by love and care.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
This education is more than just about sex, however. It also focuses on healthy relationships and other important issues
In primary schools, teachers focus on teaching about healthy and respectful relationships, focusing on family and friendships, and being safe in real-life and online. Meanwhile, secondary school students are taught about intimate relationships, sex, risk areas such as drugs and alcohol, and how to have positive and healthy sexual relationships. Some of the important topics that are covered include consent, exploitation, online abuse, harassment, forced marriage, and others.
“Pupils should be taught the facts and the law about sex, sexuality, sexual health, and gender identity in an age-appropriate and inclusive way. There should be an equal opportunity to explore the features of stable and healthy same-sex relationships,” the UK government writes.
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
Here’s how some internet users reacted to the man’s story about the family party
I'm pretty sure if they explained to her, her mom wouldn't be happy too. This whole situation is weird. I mean, every sensible 11 yo kid knows this is something you ask google about, not your relatives.
Given the current moral panic in some parts of the world about LGBT+ people and kids learning about their existence, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a kid about it in the most clinical way. Like, what if their parents had been drinking the Fox News kool-aid and started calling the uncle a 'groomer'?
Load More Replies...
Absolutely NTA. It's not his responsibility to have that conversation with his niece. Even if he had felt comfortable talking to her, it isn't something I would even consider without speaking to her parents first.
“Where do you holster the roller coaster” is waaaaay better than “Where do you put your w***y”.
Right? That's going to replace, "where do you park the pastrami?" as my new favourite expression! :D
Load More Replies... I'm pretty sure if they explained to her, her mom wouldn't be happy too. This whole situation is weird. I mean, every sensible 11 yo kid knows this is something you ask google about, not your relatives.
Given the current moral panic in some parts of the world about LGBT+ people and kids learning about their existence, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a kid about it in the most clinical way. Like, what if their parents had been drinking the Fox News kool-aid and started calling the uncle a 'groomer'?
Load More Replies... Absolutely NTA. It's not his responsibility to have that conversation with his niece. Even if he had felt comfortable talking to her, it isn't something I would even consider without speaking to her parents first.
“Where do you holster the roller coaster” is waaaaay better than “Where do you put your w***y”.
Right? That's going to replace, "where do you park the pastrami?" as my new favourite expression! :D
Load More Replies...
47
55