Mom Is Furious After Her Brother Allows His Son And The Son’s Boyfriend To Show PDA In Front Of Her Kids
Despite the major shift in acknowledging LGBTQ rights around the world made in the past years, acceptance of homosexuality is still sharply divided by country, region and economic development. And you don’t need to go far to see people’s views on LGBTQ issues clashing—often it takes as little as one family unit.
So this story posted on r/AITA comes from a dad of two teen boys, 18 and 15 years old. The younger one has recently started dating his best friend and they’ve been close ever since growing up. When the family went on an annual trip to visit their aunt, the boys arrived as a couple.
But as soon as the boys showed each other affection, their aunt got enraged at them for acting inappropriately in front of her children. The incident escalated up to a boiling point, and now dad wants to make sure whether his parenting technique is really not okay, as his sister claims.
This dad has recently shared an incident of his sister blaming him for allowing his teen son and his boyfriend to show their affection in front of her children
Image credits: South_agency (not the actual photo)
So he penned this post on r/AITA aiming to find out whether he really did anything wrong
Bored Panda talked to Peter Karys, the director of youth counseling and support at NYC’s LGBT Community Center, who said that acceptance and support for LGBTQ teens is absolutely vital. “Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, and that includes LGBTQ young people,” he said and added: “Especially in a world where other places such as school, sports teams, workplaces, and even public spaces may not be welcoming, or may even be hostile to LGBTQ folks, family should be a refuge.”
Peter explained that for young people, not being able to find support for who they are takes a dangerous toll on their mental health. “Rejection from family increases feelings of anxiety and depression, and heightens their risk of substance use.” “At The Center, we see firsthand the positive impact that affirming and supportive parents, caregivers, and family members (both chosen and by birth) can have on young adults’ development, sense of self-worth, confidence, and comfort with their own identities. This plays an important role in increasing their success in other areas, such as relationships with peers, academic success, and an overall sense of empowerment and well-being.”
When it comes to parents of LGBTQ kids getting backlash or criticism from their family members, Peter says that overall, “it’s always important to maintain an open mind.”“At the same time, it’s also important to pay attention to what people are criticizing you for. Are they critiquing you for seeming too supportive of your LGBTQ child? If so, remember that that is something that has not been proven to have negative impacts—and in fact, the reverse is certain, that research has shown that it’s dangerous for a young person to not receive enough support,” Peter explained.
He continued: “Now, depending on your relationship with the person offering criticism, this may present a moment for learning. Ask questions to try to understand their point, and explain how your parenting techniques are shaped by values that you may share, such as compassion, love, and respect.”
Peter also encourages sharing how science has confirmed the necessity of family support and affirmation for LGBTQ young people. “Building empathy in this way can help bridge a gap,” he concluded, referring to families where people are divided over accepting LGBTQ family members.
For more information, support and advice, please visit The Center and talk to their amazing team that focuses on what is in the best interest of the child, while grounding the relationship and the collaborative work in a parent’s and family’s love and concern for their child’s well-being.
People weighed in on this whole situation and this is what they had to say
Here's the thing. Kids don't care. Some people have different skin colours. Some people have different beliefs. And some people like boys, and others like girls. You tell a kid that and they will just go 'oh, okay'. It's when you bring your children up to believe that people of a different colour, religion or orientation are bad, or lesser, that prejudice is carried into the next generation.
Children looked to adults to work out how to feel about things. This is just wired in to how they learn to exist in the society they were born into. If the parents act like something is normal the children will accept it as normal. If the parents act like it's traumatic then the children will feel this too.
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My husband and I hug a give each other kisses hold hands cuddle on the couch watching movies etc in front of our kids. It's healthy for kids to see affection. There's no description of what took place. Sure outright making out would be weird for any couple to do in front of anyone but a little affection shouldn't bother anyone
When I was a child, I loved to see affection between my parents. When my father kisses my mother I felt the live and it was very reassuring as it wasn't a perfect household. I can never lable love and affection as a crime, unless inappropriate
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I think it's a bit much to assume homophobia just from the OP. She obviously didn't know they two were dating, but was gender the issue? The sister might have had just as much issue with a heterosexual couple "canoodling" in front of her kids. (also, just how much making out does "canoodling" entail? A kiss or two and some snuggles? Full on make out the entire show? It sounds innocent enough to me, but definitions like that are vague.) I'll grant you, there's every possibility it's homophobia, but it's honestly just as likely she doesn't want anyone showing PDA in front of her kids. Some people just don't care for that.
The dad didn't really expand on it much - his eldest is straight, but has never had a GF long enough to visit on one of these trips, so it's not easy to determine if it's gay PDA or neutral orientation PDA she's opposed to. They were watching Cinderella, so it's likely homophobic, since I'm certain Cinders has a kiss at one point and there were no objections to that!
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Here's the thing. Kids don't care. Some people have different skin colours. Some people have different beliefs. And some people like boys, and others like girls. You tell a kid that and they will just go 'oh, okay'. It's when you bring your children up to believe that people of a different colour, religion or orientation are bad, or lesser, that prejudice is carried into the next generation.
Children looked to adults to work out how to feel about things. This is just wired in to how they learn to exist in the society they were born into. If the parents act like something is normal the children will accept it as normal. If the parents act like it's traumatic then the children will feel this too.
Load More Replies... My husband and I hug a give each other kisses hold hands cuddle on the couch watching movies etc in front of our kids. It's healthy for kids to see affection. There's no description of what took place. Sure outright making out would be weird for any couple to do in front of anyone but a little affection shouldn't bother anyone
When I was a child, I loved to see affection between my parents. When my father kisses my mother I felt the live and it was very reassuring as it wasn't a perfect household. I can never lable love and affection as a crime, unless inappropriate
Load More Replies... I think it's a bit much to assume homophobia just from the OP. She obviously didn't know they two were dating, but was gender the issue? The sister might have had just as much issue with a heterosexual couple "canoodling" in front of her kids. (also, just how much making out does "canoodling" entail? A kiss or two and some snuggles? Full on make out the entire show? It sounds innocent enough to me, but definitions like that are vague.) I'll grant you, there's every possibility it's homophobia, but it's honestly just as likely she doesn't want anyone showing PDA in front of her kids. Some people just don't care for that.
The dad didn't really expand on it much - his eldest is straight, but has never had a GF long enough to visit on one of these trips, so it's not easy to determine if it's gay PDA or neutral orientation PDA she's opposed to. They were watching Cinderella, so it's likely homophobic, since I'm certain Cinders has a kiss at one point and there were no objections to that!
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