Looking for a Christmas gift that the giant tool... Er, giant tool-lover in your life will love? Look no further than the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant. 674 Amazon customers can't be wrong, can they?

With over 87 implements, the sleek and subtle device is able to perform over 141 functions, from apple coring to fish scaling. It's a steal at just $9000 plus shipping, meaning you won't feel so bad about the second mortgage you'll need to take out to pay for it. According to users, if you leave the knife in your car overnight, it'll even fix it up, drive it into town, and return with 2 hookers and a cooler full of beer. Now that's value!

In case you're still having doubts, we've compiled some Amazon reviews from satisfied Wenger customers that will definitely sway you. If you're stumped on what to get everyone else on your list, check out some more products that received Amazon praise.

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#1

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riley.girl 1 year ago

I love this!

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#2

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just a thought ! 1 year ago

You know you bought the right thing when you "accidentally" repair engines ...

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#3

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Chocolate Quente e Biscoitos 1 year ago

People never cease to amaze me with their creativity.. xD

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#4

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Misterscooter 1 year ago

That's a handy tool.

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#5

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Lilly Friedman 1 year ago

If "truck" was replaced with "Impala," this would be a perfect episode of Supernatural.

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#6

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David Jeu 1 year ago

It's Allen key, god damnit!

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#7

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Royal_Emperor 1 year ago

Although this is hilarious, i am considering the possibility very seriously.

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#8

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Mikleo 1 year ago

That knife is like a cat.

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#9

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Misterscooter 1 year ago

As expected.

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#10

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Misterscooter 1 year ago

I'm more amazed that he got his money back for the original ticket.

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#11

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frederic eeckman 1 year ago

My goodness, this one is first in my heart :D

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#12

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Cody Eriksen 1 year ago

Post was from the knife...

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#13

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Mikleo 1 year ago

They just throw the knife from top of their mountains to disassemble the German artillery.

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#14

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just a thought ! 1 year ago

You'll end up with a Lamborghini I guess 😂

#15

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Max 1 year ago

You could have just asked it to read it for you. I'm sure it has AI somewhere in there.

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#16

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

Marty, you should read the users manual first! You must pull the third screwdriver twice, the toothpick once and the 115-th knife three times to come back in our time. But stay there, it's better! No, there is no risk of nuclear war and food is healthier! And you have no Facebook, lucky guy!

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#17

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just a thought ! 1 year ago

Reverse IKEA technology !

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#18

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just a thought ! 1 year ago

So how's Chuck now ?

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#19

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Tony Moon 1 year ago

I hate it when that happens.

#20

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

Some of the tools are bags with plasma and blood.

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#21

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ADHORTATOR 1 year ago

Best!

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#22

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

One of the tools is a piece of kryptonite, so be careful!

#23

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

I forgot to mention: one of the tools is a female mate! It's between the 11-th corkscrew and the sniper rifle.

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#24

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Mikleo 1 year ago

To use wifi, you just need to say: "Wifi activate".

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#25

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

A lawyer is included!

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#26

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just a thought ! 1 year ago

But does the TV in it work ?

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#27

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Ποιητικό Αίτιο 1 year ago

My favorite

#28

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

But it also has an air compressor, so don't bother!

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#29

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An Ambitious Lemon 1 year ago

LMFAO!

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#30

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Slosh 1 year ago

WHOA! WHAT'S HAPPENING? IT'S IN MY HOUSE! IT'S DISM

#31

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earringnut 1 year ago

yes!!!!!!!!

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#32

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Yezid Puerto 1 year ago

jajajajajajajjaja excellent,...

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#33

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

Mine came home on it's own feet and he introduced himself, very politely. Now, it needs another beer...

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#34

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Cody Eriksen 1 year ago

Wow! The dedication

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#35

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Lillian Chesak 1 year ago

I'll take it!

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#36

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Pi... 1 year ago

Beautiful word play

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#37

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April Caldwell 1 year ago

But does it have a lemon zester?

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Ian Rispin 1 year ago

NEVER leave the toilet seat up.

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#39

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Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 1 year ago

He's lying for sure. Actually, he's Harrison Ford.

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#40

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TheReader19 1 year ago

Demand gifts in return

#41

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Parmeisan 1 year ago

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in a text-based adventure game?

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#42

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

I was drunk and it told me the sex of the girl I was trying to...

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#43

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

Marty, ask Mr. Zemeckis for another sequel! Or prequel...

#44

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Cip IESAN 1 year ago

One of the tools is a wallet with 100K!

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#45

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Pamula Furness 1 year ago

Some believe your son though.....,

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#46

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Slosh 1 year ago

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"Destroyed the hell out of Megatron"? That's like saying "killed the nit until it was dead".

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