If pets could read they probably wouldn't be afraid of veterinarians as much. It turns out, animal hospitals are fond of humor and their jokes are surprisingly funny. Don't believe me? Then get ready because Bored Panda has collected some of the funniest veterinarian signs out there!

From hilarious two-liners about texting cats to unapologetic puns about neutering, the humor on these signs is as good as you'd expect from a kick-ass stand-up comic. Scroll down to tickle your funny bone and vote for your favorite entries.

#1

Funny-Veterinarian-Signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

Lara B. 2 years ago

110% accurate :D

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#2

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Kjorn 2 years ago

Dogs have friends. Cats have butlers

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#3

Vet Sign

Acton Animal Hospital Report

TC 2 years ago

Hahahaha..that's somehow mean...

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#4

Vet Sign

imgur Report

Lara B. 2 years ago

This made me laugh out loud even though it's kinda silly :D

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#5

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Brandon Paltoo 2 years ago

Lol ueah been there done that ... and the dog willingly did it again

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#6

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

Mr. Toothless 2 years ago

I'll be that child :D

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#7

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Too bored to do this! 2 years ago

And we wouldn't want that! XD

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#8

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Kjorn 2 years ago

NO: The door is always on the wrong side of the cat

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#9

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Sanchit Jain 2 years ago

Wake up Hooman, its my breakfast time!

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#11

Vet Sign

mfilosa17 Report

Aubrie Allen 2 years ago

Funny, my dentist has the same offer, but not for pets.

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#12

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

LoneWolfie 2 years ago

Kitty Purry lol

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#13

Vet Sign

Acton Animal Hospital Report

CatShatBrix 2 years ago

I really need to talk to my Hooman about man-nip he calls 'weed'

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#14

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

Sanchit Jain 2 years ago

That's an ingenious design, a cat inside a dog and a heart too! Hats-off to artist!

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#15

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

Liam. Just Liam. 2 years ago

I want this to be higher up.

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#17

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

CatShatBrix 2 years ago

Eau Gallie really has a great sense of humor! So many of them are on this list.

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#18

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

ChubbySquid 2 years ago

*Ba dum tsst*

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#19

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

Nicole Hagberg 2 years ago

I'm not so sure it's acceptable to pee on ones relatives.

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#20

Funny-veterinarian-signs

sitwellenterprises Report

Janet Clarke 2 years ago

I would Journey to go to that vet!

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#21

Vet Sign

imgur Report

Sanchit Jain 2 years ago

Haha.. this is so true.. if you have pets in your home, even one second rule should not be applied.

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#22

Funny-veterinarian-signs

prichardson154 Report

Pobin Rice 2 years ago

1st actual clever

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#23

Vet Sign

imgur Report

Jonathan Reyes 2 years ago

Nice going Bunny !

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#24

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Polfsky Pol 2 years ago

Real clever.

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#25

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Report

Sanchit Jain 2 years ago

A Martell cat - Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

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#26

Vet Sign

Acton Animal Hospital Report

Shinomi Chan 2 years ago

Who the heck comes up with these? xD I'd wanna give em' a high five.

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#27

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

Virgil Blue 2 years ago

"You border collies can't deny"

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#28

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Daja Lindeman 2 years ago

Cheeta's don't live in the jungle.

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#29

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

Amber MC 2 years ago

That's awesome!!!

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#30

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

Tinka Maruu 2 years ago

This one made me snort!

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#31

Vet Sign

actonanimalhospital Report

Kjorn 2 years ago

i'm always happy when i pee

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#32

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

CatShatBrix 2 years ago

Purrrrple? Where? I want!

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#33

Vet Sign

frontiervet Report

criminalgirl 2 years ago

Perfect.

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#34

Vet Sign

frontiervet Report

Lorena Magee 2 years ago

I don't know about that, I've seen some ugly ass carpet that looked like cat puke

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#35

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

CatShatBrix 2 years ago

HAHAHAHA IM GONNA MEMORISE THEIR NUMBER

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#36

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

Master Markus 2 years ago

Nice strawman, Nancy.

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#37

Vet Sign

frontiervet Report

Maverick rudometkin 2 years ago

cues in rap music covered with borks

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#38

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

CatShatBrix 2 years ago

In-vest-igator. This one took me a while

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#39

Vet Sign

Acton Animal Hospital Report

earringnut 2 years ago

this one is just cute

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#40

Vet Sign

fallontonight Report

Jonathan Reyes 2 years ago

I can almost picture them bust the move :)

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#41

Funny-veterinarian-signs

KSmegal Report

Virgil Blue 2 years ago

I'll have to make several visits if wanted to do that.

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#42

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Rebekah 2 years ago

I want this job!

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#43

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Master Markus 2 years ago

Pugs make me uncomfortable. They're like suffering in dog form.

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#44

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

CatShatBrix 2 years ago

I use a meowculator. It's much faster.

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#45

Vet Sign

Report

Merilyn Horton 2 years ago

Nurses joke!

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#46

Vet Sign

StrawhatShaw Report

Lynda Albee Gavelis 2 years ago

<3 Lake City Animal Hospital!

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#47

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Susan Gardner 2 years ago

Awwwwww

#48

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

TC 2 years ago

This is somehow mean...hihihi...

#49

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

TC 2 years ago

And why do birds fly south in winter..? Because if they walked ...they'd get tired

#50

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Meazus Report

Cayman 2 years ago

I don't get nuts. They don't really taste like much and some people have death-causing allergies.

#51

Vet Sign

frontiervet Report

Arlene engel 2 years ago

Good one

#52

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

TC 2 years ago

Oh lord ! This is somehow clever..

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#53

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Sydra Report

#54

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

CluelessLlama13 2 years ago

I have a whippet! They're great dogs.

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#55

Vet Sign

frontiervet Report

FutureVet_mtr 2 years ago

It should have been prrrrrrrrfur

#56

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

TC 2 years ago

Hahahahaha. So simple...so clever

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#57

Funny-veterinarian-signs

typhoidmarry Report

earringnut 2 years ago

inoculations fired!

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#58

Vet Sign

JoeDiertay Report

TC 2 years ago

Balls.. ?

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#59

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Taryn Wallace 2 years ago

I didn't get this one.....it either went WAAY over my head or it's just not funny

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#60

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

TC 2 years ago

Hahahahaha

#62

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

TC 2 years ago

Oh nooo...

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#63

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

cyberbird 2 years ago

Every cat is a potential one.

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#66

Vet Sign

EndlessMotives Report

Jennifer Langlois 2 years ago

It means Meet me outside, how about that

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#67

Vet Sign

Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital Report

Willie D'Kay 2 years ago

It's nice that they are concerned about their patients' mommies.

#68

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Arlene engel 2 years ago

Mine would be with competitive

#69

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

Laura Sherman 2 years ago

Yay an "Office" reference!

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#70

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

adoracat 2 years ago

This reminds me of one horrible awful night when 8 drunken fools (and two sober ones...a giggling 10 year old laughing too hard to speak and a pregnant me) made bird puns for about a half hour. One after the other. I shut it down with " y'all are all totally mallard-justed." Good times!

#71

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Kaldea Report

cyberbird 2 years ago

Don't wait 'till they PUI (purr under influence)

#72

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Aubrie Allen 2 years ago

I love that Doors song about cows: Break on moo to the udder side!

#73

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Meowton Mewsk 2 years ago

Awwww! Cute!

#74

Vet Sign

frontiervet Report

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#75

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

Jonathan Reyes 2 years ago

ha ha ha ... now who among you ladies made that up?

#76

Vet Sign

imgur Report

#78

Funny-veterinarian-signs

Holly Ridge Veterinary Hospital Report

Virgil Blue 2 years ago

"Who you gonna call?"

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#79

Vet Sign

Highland Road Animal Hospital Report

Wyndmere 2 years ago

Competition

#80

Funny-veterinarian-signs

randomManDan Report

#81

Vet Sign

hollyhox13 Report