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Daughter Posts Brutally Honest Texts That She Receives From Her Crazy Jewish Mother, And It’s Hilarious
You may have heard of 'Crazy Jewish Mom.' The creation of Kate Siegal, it started out as a page that she used to share her mother Kim's hilariously honest text messages that she frequently received, usually around the traditional mother worries such when marriage and kids are on the way.
It became so popular that she now dedicates herself to sharing her mothers biting wisdom full time, with several side projects and a book out. We love Crazy Jewish Mom here at Bored Panda and have compiled a list of our favourite Mom-ments. Scroll down below to check them out and don't forget to vote for your favourite!
This post may include affiliate links.
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#3
Kristel Bijnen 8 years ago
In my aquarium I have a 'building' of a sushi-bar :-D
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James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
What if her daughter married a marine. Or is her mom trying to tell her something. Hmmm
#4
Noel Esquela 8 years ago
"the one time i ACTUALLY NEED to speak to you you don't answer" hahahaha
#5
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
Me and my ex were 20 years apart closer to 25 years apart and we had the best relationship I have ever had the people that judge people for finding love in any case whether it be a years apart or b there's some sort of strange connection you don't understand and then you judge these people for being happy the world really needs to take a look at itself and figure out what really is important two people who are in love with an age difference of several years or something that actually matters like global warming or something. I don't agree with being all over each other in public bedroom activity should remain in the bedroom but the fact that they love each other and want to show people that they love each other should not be frowned upon.
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Madalena Nunes 2 years ago
That must have been really humiliating to the girl, The guy is having a middle age crisis or the girl really loves him for him and nothing else. Funny though...
Trond E. Haveland 8 years ago
Your mom should have said,"U have the mo9st beautiful GRANDdaughter I have ever seen. U must be so pornified-proud-pride or whatever."
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Tamara Laney 8 years ago
Thank you for that...I was beginning to wonder about myself.
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Marty BlackEagle-Carl 8 years ago
good choices, i love my mom, but she should of been jewish. hahahahahahah
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
LMAO! He's got a pupperoni pizza too along with the slam to her daughter
#9
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
I have the same thing happened to me once the mother looked horrified I just bent down looked at the girl and said I'm sorry sweetie it's not a real baby it's a food baby the kid look very confused and the mother looking very relieved and thank me for taking it so well and apologize for her daughter.
#10
Anouk 8 years ago
I assume the she means a facelift for herself (the mom).
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blugeagua 8 years ago
I was usually under the impression that in order for stereotypes to actually be real, that would have to mean that EVERY SINGLE PERSON in a specific group of people would have to be the same. But since it’s common knowledge that that is not true and not every person in a specific group is the same, then stereotypes are not true.
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#11
Poseidon Cheez 8 years ago
Guys lets take a moment to apreciate that this crazy mom had enough TO FILL 16 PAGES OF BOREDOM
Gayle Bynum Cardosa 8 years ago
Michelle Hedlund, I'm with you. This WAS a plug for the book - no question about it.
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Taryn Wallace 8 years ago
Have you ever finished them at the same time???? I haven't I always have more shampoo left over and then when I get a new bottle I have more conditioner... they never run out together.... it's a miracle that it actually happened lol
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Cameron Goranson 8 years ago
Don't even bother telling me that this is weird but that is a REAL accomplishment for me kaaay
Tamara Laney 8 years ago
Sometimes, it's the little victories that get you through this crazy life.
#14
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
That was absolutely freaking awesome Spawn. Watcha got planned for Christmas? I can't wait!
#15
Rebekah Paul 8 years ago
There are marijuana tampons? Wow. I don't think I feel comfortable doing that. I can't be good for the sensitive balance of things down there.
Chess Wizard 8 years ago
Yep, they exist. https://foriapleasure.com/products/relief-4-pack
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#16
Ana Fuentes 8 years ago
Hate to say it but mom is always right, if I had listen to mine my life would have been different. MEET THE DOCTOR
Linda Gulley 8 years ago
If I married to make my mother happy, I would have committed suicide by now.
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Sparked Silly 8 years ago
Well, she doesn't hate her - they seem really close. They just accept each other for who they are.
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frederic eeckman 8 years ago
Found on the web : "Herbert created the app which takes over the phone’s screen and rings an alarm until the message is opened and acknowledged. The phone will even ring if the device is in silent mode. The app will also notify the parent if the child (or other person using the app) deletes the program or removes them from their contact list."
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Sparked Silly 8 years ago
I hope they are safe. Homeless peoples are the most vulnerable part of the population.
#22
Ehren Thomsen 8 years ago
Excerpt from the book: "(Mom) made Kate steal a cat from the pond". I'm heading right to Amazon.
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Sparked Silly 8 years ago
She also has a podcast WITH her mama! www.crazyjewishmom.com/podcast-ask-mom-spawn
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
Sounds like my sister. Do you think a man would enjoy this book? I'm certainly enjoying the texts lol.
Sparked Silly 8 years ago
She adds to the credibility of the actual book!
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MagicalUnicorn 8 years ago
that was my mom until younger sister got married, now she's the target :D
#24
Kim Lorton 8 years ago
Hahahahahaha! One time, my sister came home from college in Tampa, and walked in in a foul mood.. my mom got a bee in her bonnet and just blurted out, F**K, F**K, F**K! Go back to Tampa if you’re in such a mean mood! We looked at her like she was crazy,.. ( my mom’s swear words were s**t and dammit, never said f**k much! ) and surprisingly, my sister did just that! She got in her car, and drove 4 hours back to Tampa! I know I collected flies in my mouth that day!🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
And as the saying goes. A woman has a right to change her mind. Priorities.
#25
Benicio del Pilitch 8 years ago
and she's the one who didn't ask to be born, so you're all equal ! :D
Susan Westmoreland 8 years ago
I always remind my son of 27 and a half hours of labor with no medication and then a C section. Works everytime.
#26
SJ_Panda_love 8 years ago
I really want to meet this mother and have a conversation! She is really badass! Love her!
Nicky OldfieldDesciple 8 years ago
My reply to that would be "because unlike you I have nothing to hide."
#27
Haley Sterne 8 years ago
Some people just know what to do in any given situation. I wish I had that poise.
Allana Rose 8 years ago
OOOoOoH! I would love to be able to come up with such a witty burn at times like this! She is perfect!
#28
Justine Smith 8 years ago
It’s actually against true Jewish values to get a tattoo
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read041 8 years ago
And it was said that there has never been a call made that fast before or since.
Sparked Silly 8 years ago
They still tell the tale of that day with a sense of awe.
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#30
Kristina Neeley 8 years ago
Why isn't this higher, this is the greatest answer to hellfire and brimstone
#31
Marie Watkins Crocker 8 years ago
I think it's a deep dish question of life.
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#32
Nora Bora 8 years ago
Sadly, I don't think of those kinds of comebacks until I'm in the parking lot.
Sharon Ingram 8 years ago
OMG! I wanna be her. She’s awesome. I have an aunt like this but she’s not a blood relative. Hence, why I’m not cool.
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
Almost as good as the comeback to the woman on the beach. I say yay
#33
Usernameofgag 8 years ago
My mom do this. I lost a lots of clothes when I went home. although those clothes went to orphanage, i just can't...
#34
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
Excuse me young fellow. Do you not know what a menstrual cycle is? Were you brought up in a barn?
#35
Nyree Huh 8 years ago
if she wants them why can't she adopt, what an annoying person, let your child be it's their life. If this was my mother i would have stopped talking to her
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
I'm pretty sure she said NOT poking holes in the condoms. She obviously does not want "superjew" spawning her grandchildren.
Gayle Bynum Cardosa 8 years ago
I don't mind her personality but I DO think this is all fake
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#38
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
Stuffin' Yah want stuffin'? Well here yah go baby. Just remember that a bird in the pan is worth two in the bush. Or sumpin' like that.
#39
Nora Bora 8 years ago
Be her, but definitely ambivalent about having her.
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Porto DaMartinica 8 years ago
E. mind your f*****g business and let some sane people take care of it
#40
Tina Chris 8 years ago
Oh my heavens my chest hurts from laughing so hard after reading this one LOL
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
I had one of those. Then I bought a forever on LED light. Only costs like 5 cents a month. No more doing acrobatics while using the bathroom with a light that shuts off, which is especially hard for a male to go pee unless he sits down.
#41
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
That's not true! I never think of lingerie unless I see it on a woman. C'mon :P
Porto DaMartinica 8 years ago
she must be thankful her daughter isn't same as much as a psycopath as herself, otherwise she would have been buried alive long ago
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#47
James A. Smith Jr. 8 years ago
Again I ask. What did she prank her on, on Christmas? This was awesome though
Porto DaMartinica 8 years ago
daughter is way too nice to her, that's nothing compared with what the girl has to go through
hairydruidy 8 years ago
the daughter doesn't have to go through anything. She planned that prank with her boyfriend. She was in on it... So nothing cruel there.
Load More Replies... Taryn Wallace 8 years ago
Calm down Judgy McJudgerson people are allowed to play jokes on others without the other person being a bad mother.... are there some deep seated issues that you wanna talk about??? We're u pranked as a child and it upset you?
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Lyone Fein 8 years ago
Oh, lighten up, Nyree, she obviously loves her mother and finds her adorable. Plus she doesn't seem to let her mother's comments control her in any way. This is just how Jewish women talk. You can bet she talks to her mother the same way.
Alexandra Rigopoulos 8 years ago
Or she is just a hell of a comedian! Although Greek mothers are like this, mine was too, I sense that this one has a very good sense of humour!
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#49
SJ_Panda_love 8 years ago
Lights camera - ovaries! that's a new one I heard today! Ultra Savage Mom!
#50
#51
Benicio del Pilitch 8 years ago
true. minus the makeup. you can totally say no to makeup. and use a menstrual cup, that should be free.
#52
Ehren Thomsen 8 years ago
I have a penis and I totally want this underwear. But I need a smaller snout size.
#53
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#56
Shane Chang 8 years ago
I'm kinda jealous they both got engagement rings but mostly jealous they know her mother.
#57
Jespren Ray 8 years ago
Hey, when you are on hold for that long, sometimes other priorities need to be addressed!
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#66
Lillian Chesak 8 years ago
Everyone needs to dance sometimes... especially when it's a Beyoncé song
#67
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#69
Marnee DeRider 8 years ago
Jeez, Louis. Traditionally, women don't marry until early to mid-20s. What is the rush? Kids brains don't even fully form until 25 or 26.
#71
Jespren Ray 8 years ago
Reminds me of when my art teacher came to school after a disasterous ‘Beauty treatment’ that involved-I kid you not-sandblasting her lips. She had a very good if long suffering attitude about the well deserved ribbing we all gave her (we had collectively told her it sounded like a Really Bad Idea the week before when she had been talking about it). Her lips were so swollen it looked like she’d slide hotdogs to her face.
frederic eeckman 8 years ago
Sandblasting her lips ??? My god, people would really do ANYTHING just for the promise of "beauty"...
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#83
Gee Ang 8 years ago
I think the Mother meant her friends wants to 'fix' the daughter to their son. Not fix because she's not beautiful. =)
Load More Replies... Gayle Bynum Cardosa 8 years ago
Now I understand....the Mom was in the entertainment industry. It's all making sense to me now. I think it's real now. I thought it was fake at first but now I believe it's real.
#84
#85
frederic eeckman 8 years ago
Well, if it's on Goop... (Well, Paltrow also advocate the use of stone eggs... Yep, you're supposed to insert them where you think. She said "regular use increases chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance and feminine energy in general").
#88
Constantin George-Florin 8 years ago
She really is fabulous! I'm cracking myself up reading her messages!
#90
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#97
Chris Lieu 8 years ago
You sure about that? Maybe he did and maybe he won.
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#99
Bill Rances 8 years ago
that with a matisyahu track playin' in the background.. therapeutic hash-idic reggae!!!
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#118
That Fat Mouse 7 years ago
Omg! This mom and her child get into the most hilarious situations!!!
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#126
Constantin George-Florin 8 years ago
She's brilliant. Looks a bit nuts, but she is brilliant nonetheless! And also awfully delighted with getting a colonoscopy... I wonder why? :)
Jane Alexander 8 years ago
-not delighted to get it. Delighted to get it Done, over with.
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#127
Constantin George-Florin 8 years ago
She is persistent, you gotta give her that! Neo's got nothing on her! Agent Smith would be in awe!
#128
JustABobcat 8 years ago
Just looked up their webpage and that's like 54 inches by 54 inches. And they deliver...
#129
#130
Haley Sterne 8 years ago
Why has the CDC not been sent out!?! OMG! I don't want that!
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Constantin George-Florin 8 years ago
What the heck? "Hipster artisanal leopard"? That cat is beautiful!
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#144
Lisa Reuss 8 years ago
Wondering how funny these would actually be if she was your mother?!?? They are hilarious to me! Her daughter...maybe not so much. :-D
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Brandi McClure 8 years ago
for a short while yes it did I think it was because someone was on a killing spree.
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#150
CtrlAltDelete 7 years ago
https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-texts-crazy-jewish-mom/?page_numb=16
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What do you think ?
BREAK YOUr perceptions 8 years ago
these are awesome and i don't care if they end up being fake.
DopethronePunkUK 8 years ago
This daughter is a writer on this type of subject so to be very sceptical but this is all to bring attention to her book, nothing wrong with that of course but maybe sometimes they sound planned or staged, anyhow i wish her luck with her books.
Kenny Kulbiski 8 years ago
You're right, but it's still funny . Kinda like a text sit com.
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Nia Loves Art 8 years ago
Nope, this is normal. They are clearly a loving family. It's a cultural thing and of course played up for the Internet audience.
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Ian Sirota 8 years ago
I bought the book. Kate Segal has the patience of a saint (and her mother is hysterical, mainly because she's not my mom)!
BREAK YOUr perceptions 8 years ago
these are awesome and i don't care if they end up being fake.
DopethronePunkUK 8 years ago
This daughter is a writer on this type of subject so to be very sceptical but this is all to bring attention to her book, nothing wrong with that of course but maybe sometimes they sound planned or staged, anyhow i wish her luck with her books.
Kenny Kulbiski 8 years ago
You're right, but it's still funny . Kinda like a text sit com.
Load More Replies... Nia Loves Art 8 years ago
Nope, this is normal. They are clearly a loving family. It's a cultural thing and of course played up for the Internet audience.
Load More Replies... Ian Sirota 8 years ago
I bought the book. Kate Segal has the patience of a saint (and her mother is hysterical, mainly because she's not my mom)!
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