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186 Reasons Why Shut Up
If you’re looking for a Twitter account that’s guaranteed to make you smile, then Shut Up, Mike is the one you need to follow.
The guy behind it is Mike Ginn, a comedy writer who lives in Los Angeles. He works for Comedy Central’s @midnight, and it’s easy to see why when you read his sometimes weird, sometimes quirky, but always hilarious tweets.
Check out some of our favorites below, and don’t forget to vote for the best!
This post may include affiliate links.
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Flora Polvado 9 years ago
"Zootopia," the DMV scene. I forgot how to breath, I laughed so hard
#14
Ben Lavalleur 9 years ago
He could pick some great voices depending on his mood. Darth Vader, Morgan Freeman or Gomer Pyle.
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Master Markus 9 years ago
Well, "football" is a very generic term, but I've always thought it was an odd name for American Football since it has very little foot-to-ball action.
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Sweep the Leg 9 years ago
Same for me with Saved by the Bell. Thought I'd have perfect skin, my friends would all be models, and I'd be one of the 5 most popular people in a school of 25 students.
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Master Markus 9 years ago
Actually, it was also seven of every clean animal. I don't know why seven, because that significantly more than 2 and also uneven but it's the Bible, it doesn't make sense.
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BoredBunny 9 years ago
"Dude, just shut up! I don't need to know about Canadia, or whatever it's called! I'm just saying I think it's cold!
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troufaki13 9 years ago
Hamster mom: That's ok, I already have 86 and a dozen more are on the way *pats belly*
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Ok Ha-Neul 9 years ago
i do feel like that sometimes so i buy stuff i don't need btw if anyone needs napkin rings, towels and coasters i got you
#66
Victor Bud 9 years ago
Trying hard to imagine what a stoked owl looks like. Those big brown eyes...
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troufaki13 9 years ago
Or when they go to this retired police officer to ask him if he remembers a case from 1967 and of course he remembers every little detail! I can't even remember what I ate yesterday!! pffff
#78
Šimon Špaček 9 years ago
Public: Stop killing of innocent people. GOV: OK, lets ban guns. Public: NO WE ARE FREE TO PROTECT US!!! GOV: OK, how about this. There is already a number on each gun. How about we would store samples from each sold gun. When somebody will be killed, in seconds police will know which gun it was and who is the owner? Public: WHAT??? No way man, no way. You would track us down and you would take our guns. GOV: How? Public: We don't know you would find a way
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Blind Oracle 9 years ago
Hmmm, can't wait until the next installment of this trilogy comes out
#91
Cayman 9 years ago
Humm... Keep staying up watching YouTube and going on BoredPanda until 5 am then go to sleep and wake up at 5:30 am with your alarm clock annoying the heck out of you because 8 pm you put the clock on the other side of the room so you'd have to get of bed and then you're crazy tired all day and then at night your like "I'm not tired." and you do the whole thing again? That's my strategy.*sigh*
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Blind Oracle 9 years ago
A stranger with a lot of tattoos. Can't even whimper in front of them.
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Šimon Špaček 9 years ago
Just add 'Y not' on end of it as Douglas Adams suggested. Because it is end of every scientific argument he ever had.
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Janice Foster 9 years ago
I can't believe they ever thought asking "Am I sexual?" would be a good idea - it's so cringey!!
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Ayra 9 years ago
When you suddenly realise he must be from Germany (or at least his ham)
(that's ham from the "Schwarzwald" = black forest Screenshot...b0b063.jpg 
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Alwin Langevoort 8 years ago
Simba had sex with his half-sister while Timon and pumba sang about them..
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Janice Foster 9 years ago
OMG, Domino's in Australia spend ages advertising how they were going to release "a game changer." Then they launched a square pizza.
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Asher Smith 9 years ago
If I read a book and talk about it like it's an achievement why can't I do the same for a show? Oh right.. wasn't bored watching the show...
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Venomous Sloth 9 years ago
Uhhhh, u mean tortoises? (I have a feeling that I'll realize how dumb I am being tommorrow)
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Master Markus 9 years ago
I don't get it. Especially since nobody liked / likes Hillary but I hear a lot of people liking the dragon girl from Game of Thrones.
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What do you think ?
Jeeves 9 years ago
Well... if you live in another country where you can just laugh at things the leading Western country's FRIGGIN PRESIDENT. If you live in USA it's just offensive.
Load More Replies... Jeeves 9 years ago
Well... if you live in another country where you can just laugh at things the leading Western country's FRIGGIN PRESIDENT. If you live in USA it's just offensive.
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