Meet The Unluckiest Woman On The Internet, And Prepare To Laugh Your Ass Off

You madam, are my spirit animal.

This is so well written :)

There is nothing to fear, but fear itself! It was not a spider nearly killing her, but her fear of spiders almost did. However, exercising in a wheelchair can be funny. I can relate to that and how you can find yourself in funny situations: I once got stuck standing on one leg stuck in the unused legsupport, the wheelchair on my back, and my shattered leg tied to the other legsupport because I wanted to pick something up from the floor and forgot to put the wheelchair on the break. But you need to stay out of the way of "helpful" brothers: they incapacitate themselves by wetting their pants over your misfortune instead of helping you out! I wish you a good recovery.

She's got a good sense of humor!

I belong to several subreddits TheFlyingPigSquadron(TFPS) belongs to & can confirm her stories are true. Also, dear reader, it doesn't end there. This escalates so much, MUCH more. She injured her foot again. How? Saving a child from being hit by a car in a supermarket parking lot when kid's crazy grandma abused her so bad verbally the kid got upset & ran in front of a car . This resulted in the grandma being put on a time out by the kid's parents. Grandma then goes full insane & starts stalking TFPS at her parent's house, leaving threatening messages & finally tries to set her place of work on fire & kill her. Thankfully, TFPS works in forensics & a police officers at her place of work apprehended Crazy Gran who is looking at lengthy prison time. Here's the 1st post. as well as a page that links to TEN updates. https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/55q65a/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl_see/ https://www.reddit.com/search?q=MIL+in+the+Wild%3A+%E2%80%9CYou%E2%8

little daisy flowers between the toes hahaha ahahahahaha

this brings back memories of my life in Scotland - being face-planted on the pavement by my own dog

I like her sense of humor.

She makes poor choices of execution when performing tasks. Don't get me wrong I'm not judging. I make very similar choices that also lead to injury and regret. I am described by those who know and love me best as "accident proned" or "clumsy" and sometimes '"she who needs to sit waaay over there" because I tend to take others down with me.

ohmyf'inggoodness... laughing so hard from trying not to laugh so hard... may need to change knickers in a minute... oh dear... TheFlyingPigSquadron, should you ever happen to be in my neck of the woods, please come over for a cuppa, or a beer, or whatever. I promise to have EMS on speed dial!

This sounds so much like something I would do.

This most talented writer really keeps us on the edge of our chairs, with her uniquely vivid narrations . . . Big-Congrats, Indeed! And the Eternal Question. . . What on earth really happened to her, 'back-there'? We may never stop guessing: spider, or, similar creature?; bubbles from her shampoo?; a falling lock of hair? Whatever it was or wasn't, combined with her 'split-second' imagination plus fear, blend; indeed, got her reacting like Usain Bolt does when he bolts from the blocks, in response to the starter's gun. Full Recovery to You Dear Sweet Child! :-)

You and I would be best friends lol. I have lived in Japan for 5 months now and like three months in, I pressed a fire alarm. I thought it was a verbal demonstration of what the makeup was about next to it lol

And that's why I always check the shower for spiders before I step in :)

What a great talent you have! Thanks for sharing.

I so want to hang out with you!

we need to see the dancing chair video

we could be related...i'm accident-prone to the point of seriously considering a bubble-wrap suit

To open a stuck fridge/freezer door, just stick you finger under the rubber seal and let a little air in! Simples! :)

This is the best thing ever

I want to know what is was too!

And in my mind, I am hearing the narrative with the Scottish accent. Well done, lassie!

can i go for a night out with you please????

not in dundee are you ?? -- laughed so much at this

She sounds like fun.. dangerous, but fun

This woman needs to write... like, write write - she's an amazing story teller! We need more stories!

But was it really a spider though?

I nearly pissed myself with laugher too!

I love the way she tells her stories! She might consider writing a book. I would def. read her stories! She is so funny!

I feel like a bag of grace, suddenly, despite my ability to randomly fall down, stone cold sober, on smooth, not slippery sidewalks, and such. I love her!

ow

They should televise this & show it every year at christmas.

at least there's no video of it. and you didn't poot! during the split? finding the positives here.

Where are the pictures!?

This is hilarious!! :D I need more! <3

I needed that laugh

sorry but that was kinda stupid

My mom told me on the day of the Challenger explosion, she, my aunt and friend of theirs was in the hospital visiting my uncle, who had ended up paralyzed after a bad fall. They got into an elevator and the elevator decided to break down. They waited about 45 minutes before someone came to get them out. They had to go in through the top of the elevator. They got my mom out first and then my mom and aunt's friend, who was a bit on the large side. They had to use a lot of strength to get her out. They got my aunt out last, who was quite small and thin and apparently they were still in Hulk mode from when they pulled the friend out and they pulled my aunt up a little too hard and she bashed her head against the top of the elevator, giving her a concussion. They ended up putting my aunt in a room. My mom told me that she was in the hospital room with my aunt when the Challenger exploded on national television.

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Wtf this girl is not unlucky she is just stupid.

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"meet the dumbest woman on the internet" ... : you thought it was a spider...OK. You wanna play with a wheelchair: KARMA. good for you! Why most americans wanna play with food or handicap? Are they all r******d? Thanks she's been slaped and not injured for her whole life. She is lucky i hope she get the lesson.