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50 Of The Most Hilarious Parenting Tweets This Month
Moms and dads are superheroes. That doesn’t mean they’re incapable of burning a grilled cheese, crying or accidentally letting their kids go to school wearing their clothes inside out. That just means that no matter how challenging it is to balance everything, they somehow do. And what’s even more incredible is that many of them manage to maintain a great sense of humor along the way too.
If you’re a parent who feels guilty about not waking up at the crack of dawn every day to prepare pancakes, bacon and eggs for your little ones, first of all, don’t. And second of all, you’re not alone! We’re back with a new edition of the most hilarious parenting tweets of the month down below. So enjoy scrolling through while you hide in the bathroom from your toddler, and keep reading to find a conversation with CJ Kelsey, aka That Mom Tho!
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#1
ELIZABETH A HIGBIE 3 years ago
Thank God I am not the only person on earth that thinks this exact thought EVERYTIME!
RELATED:
#3
Ruth 3 years ago
Ah yes - I remember when my toddler daughter made a discovery worthy of sharing with everyone else in the ladies room at Target. “Mommy - you have hair on your front bottom”, she said in her precious loud and sharp voice. I did enjoy the giggles from the ladies in other stalls.
#10
Juan Something(downvotevictim) 3 years ago
Real life application kicks planning ahead's aŝš, every time.
#13
Zoey Rayne 3 years ago
My sister likes to joke that her kids (she does not want any) would be call Leo and Tara, but their legal names would be Liopleurodon and Pterodactyl.
#14
#15
the two youtz 3 years ago
That's so funny. I still bring up when my water broke and my husband kept running up and down the hallway looking for his watch. Asking me if I've seen his watch. As I say on the toilet.
#16
Juan Something(downvotevictim) 3 years ago
Ooooh see, the harmonica police said it's illegal for me to drive with such beautifully distracting music playing....
#17
#20
#21
#22
#25
Sadie Thomas 3 years ago
Its funny how the more kids you have you realize your oldest might be a little bit psycho and it might be your fault.
#26
TheGoodBoi 3 years ago
When my child is babbling to me and I say “alright *babbles back*” and she screams out happily “OK! :D” and runs off…What? What did I just agree to?? Wife help me! “You’re on your own love”… WHAT DID I JUST AGREE TO
#30
Juan Something(downvotevictim) 3 years ago
Could be confusing for some. Does it cause pain or relieve it? You know what...surprise me.
#31
Zoey Rayne 3 years ago
Depending on the health of her grandparents and/or great-grandparents, I can see why a 5 year old might think that.
#32
Juan Something(downvotevictim) 3 years ago
Or Tetris. Then do karate kicks on the front porch to reinforce dominance.
#38
Bernardas Lekavicius 3 years ago
I also regret turning down cupcakes collapsing under the weight of mounded fudge frosting, hot dogs, fast-melting melting ice cream (Such a waste!) and the birthday cake itself, plus homemade caramel coconut pecan squares.
#40
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 3 years ago
I don’t understand this.. Do people not like buns or something?
#41
Juan Something(downvotevictim) 3 years ago
Next up: 10 minutes about not writing on the couch with a marker.
#42
#43
Mad Dragon 3 years ago
My daughter wanted a bearded dragon and I said absolutely not you don't know the first thing about bearded dragon care. So the next day this 12-year-old whips up a 15-slide presentation on Bearded Dragons and their care and why she would be an excellent BD owner. We now have a BD she named "Fluffy."
#44
Juan Something(downvotevictim) 3 years ago (edited)
How do you teach a toddler to make hot coffee? I have a business idea...
#46
Cricketgeeklol 3 years ago
Why I'm not on any kind of social media whatsoever (this doesn't count)
#49
Sunshine Lady 3 years ago
Not if they don't have a tablet too young :) My kids are 2yo, 4 yo and 6yo at the moment, they start playing with toys/lego/trains in their room when they wake up. Sometimes we wake up 1-2 hours after them.
#51
TheGoodBoi 3 years ago
The house used to be spotless. Now, screw it I’ll only clean up trash and food particles. Toys and clothes can litter the house..
#52
Pieter LeGrande 3 years ago
My son (father of three) has erected a cardboard divider between the two twin's seats. Worked a treat for a year, but now they want a window cut in it.
#53
#55
TheGoodBoi 3 years ago
Oh how I miss the road trips when I was younger. My sis and I had it made! All the back seats were taken out of the SUV, we had cigarette port to Tv inverter thing so we had a tv and Nintendo set up in the back. We played Nintendo for hours and hours until our destination. Not safe in any way lmao
#57
Zoey Rayne 3 years ago
At least the kids don't completely chew the remote into tiny pieces like a dog I was hired to check in on a few times a day once did. (Thankfully he didn't swallow any and the batteries were in tact).
#60
alittlelights 3 years ago
they'll complain about leftovers but will eat a year-old chicken nugget they found under the car seat
#61
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Delegation is one of the important parts of a good leader/parent! At work I often mention either the child's parent or the principal when the kids don't listen to something I've told them not to do.
#62
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 3 years ago
I feel like that wouldn’t really work, when my sister wants to wear something like 5 minutes later she’ll start crying saying she actually wanted to wear the other thing
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What do you think ?
ƒιѕн 3 years ago (edited)
And the day comes when you are holding them for the last time, you put them down, and never pick them them up again. I don't remember when that day was for me and my kids, and it bothers me when I think about it.
XenoMurph 3 years ago
My daughter is 15, and tall. I could pick her up, but it'd do us both harm. I dropped her off at a friend's house the other day and she texted me afterwards to say sorry she hadn't hugged me goodbye. The picking up isn't the important thing, the feeling behind it is. Many actions can convey that, even a shared giggle over a mutual joke.
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Adam S 3 years ago
Every time I read one of these parent-tweet lists I pat myself on the back for choosing a childfree life
XenoMurph 3 years ago
I'm glad you are happy, I feel the same being single reading married posts, after 20 years of marriage. But the best thing in my life is my daughter, she's hilarious and incredibly well-behaved. Everyone is different. Not all kids are monsters, Glad you've found a happy situation though.
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Elizabeth Basinger 3 years ago
I work part-time in a café. The little girl of one couple had tried hashbrowns, which she apparently liked. As I walked past their table, she asked her mom if she could have some more of "those French fry noodles. " As they were leaving, a Chick-fil-A van drove past. She yelled, "Look! There's the chicken nugget Amazon truck!" These are now the names I will be using to reference each item.
ƒιѕн 3 years ago (edited)
And the day comes when you are holding them for the last time, you put them down, and never pick them them up again. I don't remember when that day was for me and my kids, and it bothers me when I think about it.
XenoMurph 3 years ago
My daughter is 15, and tall. I could pick her up, but it'd do us both harm. I dropped her off at a friend's house the other day and she texted me afterwards to say sorry she hadn't hugged me goodbye. The picking up isn't the important thing, the feeling behind it is. Many actions can convey that, even a shared giggle over a mutual joke.
Load More Replies... Adam S 3 years ago
Every time I read one of these parent-tweet lists I pat myself on the back for choosing a childfree life
XenoMurph 3 years ago
I'm glad you are happy, I feel the same being single reading married posts, after 20 years of marriage. But the best thing in my life is my daughter, she's hilarious and incredibly well-behaved. Everyone is different. Not all kids are monsters, Glad you've found a happy situation though.
Load More Replies... Elizabeth Basinger 3 years ago
I work part-time in a café. The little girl of one couple had tried hashbrowns, which she apparently liked. As I walked past their table, she asked her mom if she could have some more of "those French fry noodles. " As they were leaving, a Chick-fil-A van drove past. She yelled, "Look! There's the chicken nugget Amazon truck!" These are now the names I will be using to reference each item.
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