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With 2017 rapidly coming to an end, we thought we'd update our hilarious list celebrating the funniest parenting tweets of the year. From moms getting accused of being horrible parents because they won't let them play with a chainsaw, to dads who try to solve all of their parenting problems with cookies, the funny collection of tweets compiled by Bored Panda is sure to resonate with sleep-deprived moms and long-suffering dads everywhere. Don't forget to vote for your favorite!
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#1
Paul K. Johnson 8 years ago
Seems like it might encourage junior to write on more walls. But it's hilarious anyway. :)
Carol Taylor 8 years ago
l was thinking the exact same thought..l wonder in years to come will they paint over it or go around it..??
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Caroline Huot 8 years ago
That's quite a lemonade you've made when life handed you lemons! LOVE it!
Iceroyalmilktea 8 years ago
"Interrupted"...as in the child being interrupted by a pissed parent whilst drawing it? XD
RELATED:
#2
#3
John Louis 8 years ago
remember as you kids hysterically run and play like maniacs, they are not burning energy, they are building it up.
Sahar Kazi 6 years ago
Kids. Their favorite food is not candy or cake, but adult human life force.
Sharon Palmer 8 years ago
My daughter is 8 and she still wakes at least twice every night, at which point she gets in with me and proceeds to throw herself around all night (but still has to be touching me) breaking the flinging herself around with tensing all her muscles so she's akin to a metal bar. The girl never seems to get a restful sleep but never seems to get tired!!
#4
ChubbySquid 8 years ago
I... I wanted to call my baby sibling Pomple. It turned out to be a boy. I still insisted on calling him Pomple yet my parents refused. Personally I think it was a lovely name, but they weren't having it.
ispeak catanese 8 years ago
It has je ne sais quoi. Quite elegant, sounds like a French plumber with pimples.
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Harley Osborne 8 years ago
I think it's a great name, just don't tell her and PRETEND it's Megan.
Brenda Paul 7 years ago
My son had a similarly difficult time getting over the fact that we would not name his baby brother Flash or Lightening Bolt.
#5
It's Caturday 2.0 8 years ago
Can you please share some of the things you’ve seen?
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Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
The shadow people are not imagination. That’s a good kid, taking care of his family.
#6
Pamela Grove 8 years ago
That's OK, next week you'll be horrible for a completely new reason and she will have forgotten all about the treehouse. The problem parents are the ones so insecure, or so riddled with guilt, they would pay someone then after that outburst to build an elaborate treehouse on their way to creating a spoiled brat. I've seen it too many times.
#7
Caroline Murphy 8 years ago
Exactly.. My niece picked out an heavy, fat horror novel from my shelves and asked me to read it to her, so I just made stuff up. Then she started to "read" it by making up a random story
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DeAnna Anderson 8 years ago
Be good for learning her numbers. The box under her top hand: space (-) 7 - 8 - - 8 1 - 4
#8
Mike Irwin 8 years ago
More importantly: can _you_ remember (without checking Google Calendar!) :)
Bored Fox 8 years ago
Sorry. I explained badly because it was a daughter, not son. Ignore my previous post. "Mother took her daughet to Disneyland or Disney World for 5 days. 6 weeks later her daughter does not remember was the mother with her or not. So the mother ironically tells 'I'm obviously making a huge impact in her life'."
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SarcasticKitten😻 8 years ago
Hey it's exhausting being a child! So much to worry about, when to randomly cry, s**t our pants at the best moment (fwi, when mum is at the shopping cash register is a great time), throw up on family events, breaking everything.
#9
Sherri Mantooth Bagwell 8 years ago
I have a child on the autism spectrum. I've been searching for that village for years!
#10
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
Sometimes, when they are old enough, you can let them enjoy their grand parents for the night and go to the restaurant... and be in bed at ten cause you're too tired for anything else XD
Meyer Weinstock 8 years ago
yep, Friday night, and this single parent is worried about the kids (Why did you two close the door? Hello? Hello!? What are you doing in there?)
Sarah Figini 8 years ago
im not a parent and Friday nights I can guarantee ill be asleep on the sofa by 9pm....sorry to all the parents out there that dont have that same luxury
#11
David 8 years ago
Time to cut the kid off of YouTube and spend some time with him, instead of letting the internet raise him. Our parents did it with TV, now parents are doing it with the internet
Jake Lutick 7 years ago
nOw pArENtS aRE dOiNg iT wItH thE iNtErNeT... and you are saying this where? Oh, that's right, ON THE F*&%$ING INTERNET! Maybe YOU should stop. The Internet is a fun place, and if my kid said "don't forget to subscribe" instead of goodbye,, I would laugh and tell him I will. The Internet is a good parent. Just remember, if it is a young child, turn on Restricted Mode. Then you're golden! BE SMART, not a hypocritical nutface.
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Eldaras LK 8 years ago
I have 3 kids. With firstborn I did that mistake, and saw crazy addiction. From that day they are not allowed to use them. Yes its was hard, but I'm happy now that I did it. I spend more time with them, and have better connection with them. Now they play with toys, invite me to play, and never ask for my smartphone.
Amiel Rafael 8 years ago
omg this made me laugh hard. considering I'm privately browsing at work.
Bonnie Alcorn 8 years ago
Same for the kid who, when asked what was his bedtime, replied "8:00 o'clock, 7:00 central!
Adrienne Early 8 years ago
I'm 34. When I was little I thought "to be continued" (from Sat mooring cartoons) ment "the end".
#12
#13
Slosh 8 years ago
The fire! The eye of the tiger! And you're gonna hear me rooaar-oar-oar-oar-oar-oar-o-oar!
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olivia martinez 8 years ago
Do it if they dont clean. They will go running like sonic to clean so u dont eat their candy
#14
Ashiah Rainwing 8 years ago
Out of desperation when my young daughter was crying and pleading for "something" at the store... I broke into "The Sound of Music". Tantrum stopped, she looked around to see who was watching, and melted into the background. She later said, "How could you embarrass me like that?" Hunh...
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz) 7 years ago
If I had a kid and it yelled that I would be complimented and then tell my child that it’s because “mummy is a werewolf”
Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
So? Hers should certainly be that way too. She 4 years old- peach fuzz, sure, but it shouldn't be an issue.
#15
Evgeniya Khon 8 years ago
Some people don't even have a thing they can look forward to, so you're lucky:))
Danielle Tropea Ibclc Cpst 8 years ago
Clearly you aren't a parent. Of course we know we're lucky, but it doesn't make night time parenting any easier.
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#16
Elizabeth Butler 8 years ago
When my kids were little, ANY trip to the grocery store was a break.
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Clerks at local stores recognize me. They know I'm going to "browse," and by browse, I mean putting off going home as long as I can. I'll spend an hour, buy 3 small things.
#17
#18
eyo too 8 years ago
One of my wife's first grade students brought in mom's book for silent reading: How to Become a Pole Dancer. "Apparently" it was a prank gift and the mom was horrified, but luckily had a sense of humor.
minipanda 8 years ago
But actually pole dancing is not a bad thing. A good sport to keep fit. Striptease is totally different story.
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#19
the shapeshifter and the witch (Young Avengers) 8 years ago
They're very different. You can actually get out of a corn maze
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Jay Broderick 8 years ago
One can't afford to go to IKEA! I go in for white paper napkins and end up redecorating my $@%^ dining room for $3,000!
Cindy Walton 8 years ago
Do US Ikea's not have (supervised) play areas? When I lived in Germany and had two small children I'd drop them at the play area and shop. Sometimes I'd even buy things!
#20
Tinfoil Hatter 8 years ago
super cool... she wil rule over all these little critters HAHAHAHA !!
#21
Harley Osborne 8 years ago
It turns out he doesn't write most of them though :( Still love him though...chicka chicka.
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#22
Joannie Goulet 8 years ago
I'm amazed too considering how much I paid for that swing set outside...
#23
Valerie Davis 8 years ago
My daughter is disabled, but it doesn't stop her son from asking the same...future MEN !!
#24
#25
Kathy Trites 8 years ago
Once my then 3yr old nephew convinced a gymnasium seat block he lost his chipmunk while his dad was coaching hs basketball. It was imaginary.
Marijan Šiško 8 years ago
My 10 old called me during work hours to help her (on the phone) find the tablet she misplaced. What's ironic is that I did.
#26
JillVille Child Care 8 years ago
Party Muffins.... Pupcakes.... all the cool names the little kids come up with!
adoracat 8 years ago
Pupcakes is what I call the wee dog when the groomer sprays her with sugar cookie scented deodorizer spray!
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TheRubyFalcon 8 years ago
Lol no... they're Pan because A. Cupcakes love everyone and B. They come from a pan
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#27
Ariana Jager 8 years ago
It's about the time. 7:00 is late for parents. Kids gotta go to bed soon after and strangers can't always put kids to bed effectively.
#28
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
There 's something even more frightening: a silent home when you have kids. It can only means that something terrible is on.
Joe Reaves 8 years ago
Ah the refreshing sound of 'find out what they're doing and tell them to stop it'
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This Is Me 8 years ago
Bored Panda needs to segregate the "That's what you get!" People from the rest of us who would just like a little laugh. FFS Willow, I'm pretty sure it's a joke.
#29
Sahar Kazi 6 years ago
in the eye of a hurricane there is quiet; for just a moment; a yellow sky.
#30
It's Caturday 2.0 8 years ago
You can have fun AND tough moments, but you can share selectively. Your husband knows your children better than your acquaintances on SM, so he is a better audience/partner for commiserating. I’m sure the kids excitedly told the dad about the fun times, so he got the full picture. Knowing your audience and filtering isn’t lying, my dear.
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#31
DeAnna Anderson 8 years ago
I love how we are expected to know how to do all this new math and english stuff that they are teaching the kids these days. Nothing like how we were taught.
Sharon Hahn 8 years ago
We have to learn from their book before we can even help them.
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Amanda Nelson 8 years ago
Alusair alustriel theres nothing a parent loves more than to be told how to be a better parent by someome else. Sheesh!!!
olivia martinez 8 years ago
To be honest she should have done it so she has no reason to get mad
#32
TheRubyFalcon 8 years ago
Maybe this means that she understands the love between a mother and daughter?
#33
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
Lately I came up with a new strategy with my 4 yo: "if I have to say it once again, I take a playmobil". I line up my little hostages on a top shelf he can't reach. The first time I had to punish 12 playmobils for an afternoon, after two weeks I have around 4 playmobils on the self every days (I dentify his favourit ones to target them first) but I'm beguinning to have success with the "threat" only ;p
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Actually, pretty good idea. 1) You're using currency he can understand and 2) You're providing a visual reference to the consequences of his not minding AND the frequency with which he disregards your words.
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Julía Smelley 8 years ago
My strategy is, if I have to tell you one more time you get to help me clean the whole house ☺ *turns on cumbia music
#34
#35
Hilzillah 8 years ago
'Say Cheeeese' Will make it look like your smiling for a picture. I'ts pretty much a world wide thing by now (I'm Dutch)
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#36
Marcia J. Downing 8 years ago
Or told Monday morning that they have to bring cookies that day!!!
Melissa Marino 8 years ago
Or that they have no clothing for their uniform, even though you asked them Friday night and did laundry all weekend, because everything is under the bed!
Nadia Corinna 8 years ago
I suspect I'd have grown up more robust if my parents had just let me get in trouble when I failed to tell them about a project early enough to get help with it.
#37
Anita Holleufer 8 years ago
Are you sure he wasn’t firing you for being on the phone While you were working?
#38
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
My man exactly... and then Disney bought Starwars licence and now he's buying action figurines for our son. Right, for our son ;p
Harley Osborne 8 years ago
Go secondhand? As The IT Crowd says: "I'm getting an iPhone without giving any money to Apple...I'm living the dream!"
Mareike Hartmann 7 years ago
oh that sweet innocent soul....he has no idea.....Disney will not only get a cent, but the majority of his money over the next 20 years or so 😂😂😂
#39
Holly Pacier 8 years ago
This is why I married a math teacher. "Son, math is for nerds. Go ask your father, he's a nerd." (said the cultural anthropology geek to her son....)
Melissa Marino 8 years ago
This will be me. I barely passed that chapter back in school. Math isn't my strong suit.
#40
#41
BFFPanda 8 years ago
That’s when you just have to sit down and say, “It was evil Ninja Turtles that came and stole my clothes. I was up later than you because I was tired from fighting them” 👍
Kathleen Van Zandt Bye 8 years ago
I remember a Denis the Menace cartoon in which Denis answers the phone and says, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now, she's in the bathtub with a man," the plumber who came to fix the shower and both were fully clothed.
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Chelle Belle 8 years ago
my boyfriend does not have any kids, I have an 11 year old. every time he poops he has to immediately shower afterwards, turning a regular one hour man poop into a hour and a half.. i'm like, if we ever have a kid together, you are gonna have to get over doing that. you'll be lucky if you get the bathroom to yourself for five minutes.
Monika Pajor 8 years ago
some kids would not miss the opportunity to watch u poop, mine would scream and cry til' i let him in the bathroom
#43
Nicklas Linder 8 years ago
It's wonderfzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
Greatest thing for me, niether my man nor I sleep straight through the night or have similar sleep patterns. There are times when we are both asleep or awake, eating, etc- but someone's always available to care for something.
#44
Nicklas Linder 8 years ago
When you least expect it, children turn out to be quite useful. :-D
#45
Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
Oh yeah, nearly anyone in Colorado can attest to having thought that at some point.
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#46
Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
Or explain awkward story lines, like......why Prince Charming kissed a dead corpse, why Jack was seeing giant bean stalks, why Alice was tripping out, who created Neverland, how three bears managed to talk, and why a girl broke into their house.......
Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
Alice in Wonderland was about whatever drug was popular at the time; Grimm's Fairy Tales were warnings involving rape/murder/etc, Disney, et all made them passable for the overly coddled US population.
Load More Replies... Holly Pacier 8 years ago
"Happily ever after" is actually parent-speak for "Trust me, the good part is over. After that it's all arguing over who does the dishes and once a month marital relations. Now close your eyes and go to sleep. I've got monthly marital relations to attend, if I don't pass out first."
#47
Cindy Walton 8 years ago
I was that kid! We went on a weeklong camping trip and the only shoes I brought was a pair of extremely uncomfortable sandals. That didn't work well when the rest of the siblings went horseback riding. I was 8. :(
Cindy Walton 8 years ago
That said, I didn't make that mistake a second time. Sometimes it's good to let kids make mistakes, if they don't endanger their life!
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Angel Belcher 8 years ago
More like I forget to wear shoes. I can't tell you how many times I've almost left the house in either socks or house shoes only to realize once the door is locked and I'm sitting in the car.
#48
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
This happened to my best friend. She thinks her second born, now 13, is horribly rude and disobedient. As an educator, I tell her that, no, her first born is weirdly well behaved, and her second is totally normal, only slightly annoying compared to others his age.
CelSlade 8 years ago
What happens if you only have one and he's both at the same time? My kid is the sweetest kindest soul with the most twisted wicked sense of humour. I'm saving up already XD
adoracat 8 years ago
That's BOTH my kids. They grew up to be good adults though, so you have hope!
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Kirsten Cowley 8 years ago
The theory holds up in my experience. Eldest son got top marks in high school, doing law at top university & is now backpacking in South America. Younger son lost his passport in US, lost his licence for speeding and at 16 had to be bailed out for stealing a bottle of water ffs.
Angelika von Zitzewitz 8 years ago
Absolutely true....bailed my youngest for get this....pokeman cards
German Rottweiler#16 5 years ago
nope, to my parents, im the devil and my younger sis is their favorite.
#49
#50
Kenny Kulbiski 8 years ago
I had to do some repair work in an elementary band room once. In August. They were already practicing their Christmas program. Why that teacher didn't pursue a career in panhandling defies understanding.
Melissa Caywood 8 years ago
I seriously need to be able to upvote this more than once.
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olivia martinez 8 years ago
I foind out why they can stand the HORRIBLE sounds......ear plugs!
#51
#52
#53
Heather Johnson 8 years ago
My daughter calls Cheetos "orange chips" and so we've been saying "orange chips" for two years now. Lol
Mary Grant-Young 8 years ago
We still call grated Parmesan cheese “sprinkle cheese”....even tho the kids are in their 20s.
#54
#55
Harley Osborne 8 years ago
I did something like that as a kid: "Write a list of good deeds you have done during the week...No. 1: Helping my best friend tidy MY room...".
#56
Marnee DeRider 8 years ago
You know, it was just a dumb TV thing with kids talking about their parents coming to "all their games" or "never comes to watch me play" that started this off. Before that, it wasn't a thing, to my knowledge. Maybe watching the big game(s) at the end of the season was important, but I couldn't have cared less about my parents watching me play soccer for most of the season when I was in grade school. I think they just dropped me off. Parents demand too much of themselves based on fake TV parents.
Eirik Guttulsrud 8 years ago
Yes, I think this is very true xD "Dad never came to my soccer matches, that is why I became a serial killer"
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Sharon Palmer 8 years ago
Football (soccer) tournaments we have competed in sometimes lasted 6 hours if we won (am ashamed to say in a couple I was praying they were knocked out). One was also nearly 110 miles from home - and our manager registered us in every tournament he could find!
#58
Misterscooter 8 years ago
And be there half an hour before for warmups, gotta leave house at 6:15, feed them and get them dressed by 6:10 so gotta start trying to wake them up at 5:20 which means I need to get up to get ready at...Dear God!!
#59
olivia martinez 8 years ago
Mary popins voice* "come on kids lets go" 15 mins later Batman voice*" I SAID LETS GO!"
Elyn Wadstein 6 years ago
unoriginal I saw that somewhere else... the Batman voice bro
Load More Replies... Nadia Corinna 8 years ago
Awwww, man, that's just brought back treasured memories of hot tea in the car on the way to school...
#60
Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
School for my child meant a major shift from well behaved, to learning cuss words she never heard before.
#62
#63
Sillyist 8 years ago
I know a lot of parents have troubles with this. But it's easily remedied. Just make the kids never want to be in the bathroom with you ever again. I recommend a nice giant bowl of French Onion Soup, with a side of caramelized onions garnished with green onions in an onion reduction sauce.
Elizabeth Kenrick 8 years ago
I heard my 6 year old granddaughter say " nu-uh I'm not going in there or by there" ( referring to the bathroom after my husband used it)
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Angela Platts 8 years ago
My 2 dogs do this exact thing. The bathroom door is a folding one so they have no problems opening it. No escape!
Sherri Mantooth Bagwell 8 years ago
You failed to mention any or all animals sticking their paws under the door while you're using the facilities as well....
Linda Gulley 8 years ago
Why is locking the door so difficult for so many parents? Seriously. It works.
#64
cassiereroni 8 years ago
My 5 yr old daughter asked me one day if she could have an elephant. I explained to her that she couldn't because elephants are too big. She looked at me with bewilderment in her eyes and informed me we *had* some elephants and she just wanted one. I proceeded to tell her we didn't have any elephants and she came back with "Yes we do Mommy". So I asked her where the elephants were and she said "in the refrigerator Mommy". I then told her "Honey, there aren't any elephants in the refrigerator but she insisted there were so I took her to the fridge and we looked inside it. She got all excited that stated "See Mommy, there they are". She was pointing to the olives. I tried to hard not to laugh uncontrollably and gave her her elephant.
Grace Smith 7 years ago
Come on mum don’t you know what a elephant looks like
Load More Replies... Imperfekt 8 years ago
My 3 year old son pointed at a jar in the fridge and asked for a pickle. I told him again and again those were not pickles, they were peppers and they were hot and would burn his mouth. His argument was they couldn't be hot since they are in the fridge and he proceeded to have a tantrum until I gave him his "pickle".
Swathika Venkatesan 8 years ago
what happened next? did he like his pickle?!
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Misterscooter 8 years ago
Me: *Explains how to do math problem* , Me: *Walks away and double checks with Google* , Me: *Comes back to fix something I "forgot" to explain.*
#66
Mary Moore 8 years ago
She was just making a funny. But I'm pretty sure those kids would be fine if mommy had a little wine.
#68
Nadia Corinna 8 years ago
Oh man, my mum used to fall asleep on my bed while cuddling me goodnight. Annoyed me so much! "Ugh! I'm literally boiling to death from your body heat! Go away!"
#69
#70
Evelyn Adele 8 years ago
That is when I made them start cooking for themselves. Finally heard it enough.
Storm Rise 8 years ago
Yep- had this one too, and I;m a great cook- I'm also her Mum, so therefore c**p at everything. So- when she was 12yrs old, I refused to cook for her anymore. If she would eat what I was cooking without complaint- there was always enough. If not- she knew where the kitchen was (and there was always enough fresh food to make something) It's amazing how the complaints dropped ;-) She's 18 now, and the rule still applies.
Sarah Figini 8 years ago
smart tactic! also teaching her how to cook for herself too! maybe she will make a meal for the whole family soon
Load More Replies... Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Most children go through a period of very selective eating (regardless of culture, country, socioeconomic status, or even time period). This might be due to the way in which our senses develop, including our sense of self and our ability to understand our place in the world. A correlation is observed between stress in a child's life and the onset of selective eating (children are often stressed without their parents initially understanding it). Finally, some researchers posit that there is a survival advantage in sticking to the "safe" foods until you are skilled enough to hunt and gather for yourself. So, unless you hear about your cooking from other adults, a griping kid is not necessarily indication that you're a bad cook.
Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
Parenting is all about creativity. Broccoli stems are little trees for a dinsosaur to gobble up......
#71
Maria Beilschmidt 8 years ago
How is this not the top post? This is a man that values his wife :)
#72
#73
DeAnna Anderson 8 years ago
Oops! LOL. That is when you detour to McDonalds like you had it planned all along.
Qwertykeala 8 years ago
Omygosh when i was little I read a book where her dad took all the way to school and dropped her off on a Saturday and I was always afraid I got the day of the week wrong and would be trapped at school all alone! Haha lol.
Candi Ulrich 8 years ago
I don't know how many times I got all the way to my work parking lot before my kids would speak up to remind me that I forgot to take them to school.
#77
Evelyn Adele 8 years ago
Or insists on wearing a heavy sweatshirt in 95 degree weather. In humid Florida!
Kathryn Gouwland 7 years ago
Being yelled at by a 5yr old that he wants to wear pants because it's too hot to wear shorts.....
Sherri Mantooth Bagwell 8 years ago
I got so sick of this atguement I made a weather rule. If it's above 60 degrees where what you want. If it's below 60 degrees, put on pants and a coat and don't whine about it.
#78
This Is Me 8 years ago
Omigawd, I thought my children would be so well-behaved because I was very good at training my dogs. Boy, was I mistaken!
#80
#81
Kristel Bijnen 8 years ago
When my sister was young, she was freaked out by seeing a teacher at a store. She really thought they lived at school. She did not understand it at all, haha.
Kristel Bijnen 8 years ago
Now she is a teacher herself and gets similar experiences!
Load More Replies... Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
Apparently, one of my grandma's students said something similar to her mother, when seeing her in the store.
#82
Imperfekt 8 years ago
Well that goes right along with my earlier comment about finally giving in to my 3 year old who couldn't be convinced that pickle he was demanding was not a pickle but a pepper.
Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
It’s even more satisfying when they grow up and say......Mum, YOU WERE RIGHT!
#83
Bonnie Alcorn 8 years ago
My one-year old granddaughter puts her hand up to her ear every time someone's phone rings!
Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
I was sorta proud that I handled a telle-marketer really cool the other day.
#84
Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
Halloween. Good parenting strategy that reverses all the education about not taking lollies from strangers........
Grace Smith 7 years ago
I’ve heard scary stories about razor blades and drugs
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#85
#86
#87
Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
There is no better compliment than when your child gets home from school, smells the dinner cooking and drools while asking what’s for dinner tonight? Mmmmm.
Evelyn Adele 8 years ago
Just wait. When they become adults, they'll say, " remember that lemon chicken you made when I was little?" You: yes, the one you refused to eat most of the time? Child: could you make it for dinner, I miss it.
#89
#91
#92
Madeline Tuohey 8 years ago
My aunt is pregnant. My cousin (2) says he has a baby in his belly named baby Lizzie.
Kathleen Van Zandt Bye 8 years ago
In line with the advice we read about these things, we bought our 1st child a Little Tykes farm tractor/tricycle with trailer as a present from our 2nd child when we brought him home from the hospital. Jonathan was delighted with a new toy to ride, after taking it for a spin in the driveway he said, "Now I see why you got so big! You had this tractor and trailer in your tummy, too."
JillVille Child Care 8 years ago
Congrats to your son & his baby Eric. They will be so happy and cute together! Yay!
#95
#97
Patty cake ;3 8 years ago
Why...why I wish I had my own bathroom (drops to floor and starts to sob)
Pusheen 8 years ago
I'm not entirely sure but sons' as in more than one son?-? I don't know if I'm right tho
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#98
#99
Laura Rudgers 8 years ago
Well, Lewis Carroll was allegedly on LSD when he wrote Alice in Wonderland...I think it was just opium....
Leah Forgy 8 years ago
LSD wasn’t invented until about 73 years after Lewis Carroll wrote Alice in Wonderland, plus there’s no evidence that he used drugs.
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DeAnna Anderson 8 years ago
As I sit in the baby's room at 3 AM rocking her back to sleep, I think I am the best mom in the world for softly singing the age old lullaby "Rock-a-bye baby" until I finally understood the words I was saying and about had a heart attack thinking I was the WORST parent in the world. "Rock a bye baby in the tree tops, when the wind blows the cradle will rock, when the the bow breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all" who says these things to such an innocent little bundle?????
Elizabeth Mitchell 8 years ago
Alice In Wonderland references Cannabis, LSD and Opium. And that’s the clean Disney version......
Cat Lady 7 years ago
LSD wasn't invented until well after Alice in Wonderland was written (thanks Femke Uyttebroeck)
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Sadie Shapiro 5 years ago
I have some friends who are brothers named Dallas and Austin. Don't ask.
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Nadia Corinna 8 years ago
Literally me at the house my mum shares with my older sister the other day: "Why are all the dates on these photo albums before I was born?"
Karen Lyon 6 years ago (edited)
Right? I'm the oldest of five (three brothers, one sister,, all of us a year or so apart). My youngest brother swears there are no pictures of him! The truth is, there probably are, but: when he was younger he looked so much like our brother that's two years older, it's hard to tell the difference in those old black and white photos. Since most of those pictures have no dates and no names on them anywhere, it's really hard to say if it's him or the older one, unless some of the rest of us are part of the picture to give context. LOL. Poor baby brother.
Load More Replies... Evelyn Adele 8 years ago
All 3 of mine have one, but the second two have almost nothing in them.
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Christine Cameron 8 years ago
My friend's kid would pitch a fit if you DID peel his apple slices because he liked to put a whole slice in his mouth, work the peel off with his teeth and pull it out to deposit on a plate while he chewed up the rest of the apple bits.
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DeAnna Anderson 8 years ago
Only on a 15 item or less shopping trip that does not require the purchase of dog food, toilet paper or paper towels. And you must know that everyone else is looking at you and thinking that you are so stinkin' cute for doing this with your child. Plus it is an awesome learning experience for shopping that your kids will not forget and it teaches them stuff about shopping that they need to know for later. Bless you.
Lynnae Englund 8 years ago
When my son was about 5 he was pushing a kids cart at the grocery store and told me, "I feel just like a real person".......
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Christa Kozdras 8 years ago
It was plushies for me. My mom tried getting rid of one, because I had too many, to see what would happen....I knew. She had to give it back.
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Nadine Ducca 8 years ago
Well, considering that "Malone" already has the "m", the name should be "Hoe." :-O
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German Rottweiler#16 5 years ago
or a surivial pack with tissue, paper towels, baby wipes, and a plastic bag for wet clothes or barf, mostly for barf. all thats in my moms car
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Madeline Tuohey 8 years ago
Once my daughter was at a friend ends house, they made slime, decided to throw it in the air. Stuck to the ceiling made a stain. Same slime, same week ruined our carpet.
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Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
It is a really weird feeling when you have recently adopted a dog, and something happens and you indicate you are upset, they come to comfort you.
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Kathleen Van Zandt Bye 8 years ago
We had friends who worked for Kimberly Clark and got all their "products" free of charge. One night when they had the pastor over -- of course -- the kids came down the hallway with the "telescopes" they found in the bathroom trash.
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John-Michael Mustchin 6 years ago
They'd probably be very specific about what toys, too. Whatever you can't get.
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Annie Horton 8 years ago
Give your kid the $20 and tell them the tooth fairy left an advance. Then you're done. Unless this is the last...
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Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
Actually, similar happened to me- with my Mother... I tried to explain, she's difficult sometimes.
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Gloria Gonzales 8 years ago
My baby is almost 45 and she still chooses to have a conversation with me when I'm on the phone like I'm not on the phone.
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Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
My hubby does similar; he refuses to go to bed until 1 or 2 am- put him in the car, out like a light.
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Kris Ruddy 8 years ago
It's called "backwash". My husband learned about it when our oldest was a little over a year old and done with a glass of milk. He took a big swig to finish it... and got his first (and last) experience with backwash!
PyroKitty 6 years ago
Ugh yep, not a mom (i'm 14!) but definitely been careful around small children's drinks
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Candi Ulrich 8 years ago
We totally have a 'bag of bags' too... my kids think it's hilarious when I tell them to use those for their little bedroom garbage cans.
Jan Stevenson 8 years ago
I used to save lots, but c**k roaches we're nesting in them.
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It's Caturday 2.0 8 years ago
You have to place each sandwich in the lunchbox.
Load More Replies... Kris Ruddy 8 years ago
Turn the end crust to the inside of the sandwich. It then looks like a regular piece of bread.
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German Rottweiler#16 5 years ago
every wake up covered in blood because of a nosebleed, cause I have!!
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What do you think ?
Ed Mo 8 years ago
Raising children; the most difficult, expensive, exhausting, frustrating, horrifying & trying thing on Earth. Also the best.
Brian Kemboi 8 years ago
I think these issues is common in developed countries. In developing countries, a parent does not have the whole time to be chasing kids. One word will make you all scatter. No child in Africa (it is a continent, 54 countries) would dare go against any word of the parent...well apart from the top 1%.
Ryza Tigno 8 years ago
True. I live in Asia and if you talk back to anyone older than you or act undisciplined, there will be punishment.
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Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
It's getting hard to find the posts on here these because of the millions of f-ing ads!
Logan 2440 8 years ago
Have kids. Complain about kids being horrible or weird. Its not funny anymore. Its like vegans repeating they are vegans.
Amme Hodgson 8 years ago
And these just reenforce my instinct to never procreate. Personally, I love not having to deal with any of this sort of thing. Zero interest in kids.
Fairsher 8 years ago
Nothing wrong with not wanting children, after all can you imagine if every woman had children!?? I had 3 but admire those who say kids are not for them but know a few who didn't want any and ended up having one and not being a good parent, that is the worst.
Load More Replies... Nancy Massi 8 years ago
Something my mother told me.."You'll understand when you become a parent." Honestly, you don't realize exactly what that entails until you become one. Life changes for you completely. It is NOT easy being a parent. Many cope by using humor. That is what this post was trying to present.
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Ed Mo 8 years ago
Raising children; the most difficult, expensive, exhausting, frustrating, horrifying & trying thing on Earth. Also the best.
Brian Kemboi 8 years ago
I think these issues is common in developed countries. In developing countries, a parent does not have the whole time to be chasing kids. One word will make you all scatter. No child in Africa (it is a continent, 54 countries) would dare go against any word of the parent...well apart from the top 1%.
Ryza Tigno 8 years ago
True. I live in Asia and if you talk back to anyone older than you or act undisciplined, there will be punishment.
Load More Replies... Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
It's getting hard to find the posts on here these because of the millions of f-ing ads!
Logan 2440 8 years ago
Have kids. Complain about kids being horrible or weird. Its not funny anymore. Its like vegans repeating they are vegans.
Amme Hodgson 8 years ago
And these just reenforce my instinct to never procreate. Personally, I love not having to deal with any of this sort of thing. Zero interest in kids.
Fairsher 8 years ago
Nothing wrong with not wanting children, after all can you imagine if every woman had children!?? I had 3 but admire those who say kids are not for them but know a few who didn't want any and ended up having one and not being a good parent, that is the worst.
Load More Replies... Nancy Massi 8 years ago
Something my mother told me.."You'll understand when you become a parent." Honestly, you don't realize exactly what that entails until you become one. Life changes for you completely. It is NOT easy being a parent. Many cope by using humor. That is what this post was trying to present.
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