After the birth of my first child, I quit my job to be a stay-at-home dad, or SAHD for short, though I never use that acronym because it looks and sounds too much like the word “sad.”

Daycare is obscenely expensive. It made more fiscal sense to stay home with my kid than to collect a paycheck and just hand it over to a daycare facility.

One day, while still home on maternity leave, my wife left me alone with our newborn son for the first time. Before leaving, she politely reminded me of all the duties I was to perform while she was gone. “I better write this all down,” I joked, and grabbed some post-it notes and a black Sharpie.

I wrote, "don't forget to feed and keep the baby alive."

A week later I found the note on the floor of my office. It made me laugh.

On that day, the website was born.

Eight years, two kids, a separation and over 350 notes later and I'm still writing notes.

More info: amessagewithabottle.com | Instagram

#1

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Nadja Lambacher 1 year ago

I wanna know about those 5 reasons.

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#2

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Johanna Martin 1 year ago

YES!!!! Lol

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#3

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Anne 1 year ago

love the last line :)

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#4

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Nini Meow 1 year ago

Wolverine is an important topic

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#5

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Nini Meow 1 year ago

We will have to bring them together to know...

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#6

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Nini Meow 1 year ago

Into a squeaky clean princess

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#7

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Aud Wey 1 year ago

SO TRUE!

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#8

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AmetRaven 1 year ago

I shall adopt this with my teens

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#9

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SBW71 1 year ago

LMAO!!

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#10

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Nini Meow 1 year ago

Sometimes we grown up face the same thing.. or may be its just me!

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#11

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Kay Ann 1 year ago

Dad jokes never grow old. They just evolve.

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#12

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riley.girl 1 year ago

I laughed soooo hard! Oh my god!! So good

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#13

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serena 1 year ago

Now the song is stuck in my head.

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#14

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Laugh Fan 1 year ago

but that IS how it's done!

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#15

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Kay Ann 1 year ago

Save this pic for when he grows older. Lol

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#16

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Susan Gardner 1 year ago

I love this dude lol

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#17

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Matchima Tongjub 1 year ago

daddy's princess

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#18

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the_potato 1 year ago

best kids in the world

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#19

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Ivo H 1 year ago

Well, I find it perfectly reasonable. I dislike various food combinations too, even if i really like these things separately.

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#20

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Nini Meow 1 year ago

Scaring them more?

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#21

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Patti 1 year ago

Yes. She can play with the kids now that she's home. You (the husband) can cook dinner, get the kids in the tub, finish laundry, clean the kitchen and put the kids to bed. This is what most women do plus they work every day

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#22

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Stille20 1 year ago

My mom still does this if she is holding any kind of critter, dog, child, guinea pig.

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Laugh Fan 1 year ago

They go off anyway and just when you thought you'd disarmed it fully..

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#24

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TheReader19 1 year ago

Or Australia, you’ll find out when you get the bill!

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#25

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Brandon Collinsworth 1 year ago

I tell my kids I will accept them no matter if they are gay or straight, but I will disown them if they root for the Dallas Cowboys.

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Sasy 1 year ago

Like punching someone in the Eurythmics

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#27

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riley.girl 1 year ago

Lol!!!!! Love it!

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#28

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TheReader19 1 year ago

Just stand and look important

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#29

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BusLady 1 year ago

"I'll sleep when I'm dead"

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#30

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Laugh Fan 1 year ago

I love 'and maybe a snake'. The seemingly naive optimism! Clearly he's setting the poor kid up. Hee hee.

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Nini Meow 1 year ago

And "to glue" list is so long that sometimes you have to throw some of the 'to glue's

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Qwerty 1 year ago

booo hisss.!

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#33

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Hans 1 year ago

No need. If you worry about being a good parent, if you are ashamed of the little mistakes you made, chances are high you are a very good parent!

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Hans 1 year ago

So you can watch sports on the big one!

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#35

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Laugh Fan 1 year ago

4-year old children know their parents are probably fools.

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brandon sat 1 year ago

i wonder if he used that diaper for his baby later

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TheReader19 1 year ago

Always have extra wipes.

#38

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Crazy Cow Lady 1 year ago

But Thor's hammer was destroyed

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#39

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Laugh Fan 1 year ago

Online grocery shopping saved my sanity (nearly).

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#40

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Kay Ann 1 year ago

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Oh m g shorty

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#41

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Aud Wey 1 year ago

I was looking for a four leaf clover! :)

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#42

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Ben S. 1 year ago

"Okay, we can stay for 30 more minutes". "Okay, time's up, let's go. Yeah, I know, but time flies when you're having fun..."

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Anne 1 year ago

I think this would work for a lot of adults too! I'm going to try this :)

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#44

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Ben S. 1 year ago

My daughter designs and builds the most elaborate structures in mindcraft. And her room looks like the place where she dumped all the dug-out debris...

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#45

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Angela 1 year ago

O remember giving my daughter the disconnected control when she was a toddler. She would be hours with me and her face looked so happy......

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Stille20 1 year ago

or "Uh oh"

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#47

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Lilly 1 year ago

grocery shopping alone was my get-away, but there were many days when I saw the husband coming down the drive & was jumping into my car to go for a quiet & relaxing drive...

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Kay Ann 1 year ago

Lol. Like father like son.

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#49

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JD Cassavaugh 1 year ago

"Oh, but maybe this new one will work..."

#50

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JillVille 1 year ago

The mittens!! Oh dear, hahaha

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#51

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Veee V 1 year ago

So, I taught my 3 yo niece to say "Chill kar(means 'do', in a regional Indian language)" ...She goes ballistic on my sis, "Mamma Mamma Mamma Mamma Mammaa Mammmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa" , sis(talking on the phone, asks whoever to hold on): "Yes beta?" Neice: In a very very calm voice "Chill kar" .....I got such looks from her :P...it was super fun! #siblingthing

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#53

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Allen Partridge 1 year ago

Won't work for me. My kids love nuts

#54

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Nadja Lambacher 1 year ago

ouch

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#57

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Rob Williams 1 year ago

I remember my granddaughter used to be like that until some idiot showed her where the pennies go and what they do...

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#58

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Sue Prewitt 1 year ago

Teaching the baby how to treat animals just might be a great idea, huh?

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#59

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JillVille 1 year ago

I cried outside their doors for nights on end until this phase passed. It's excruciating, but so worth it in the end.

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brandon sat 1 year ago

yep...same here, true story!

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#61

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Valereee 1 year ago

You'll need to get used to that !

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#62

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Laugh Fan 1 year ago

Might need to be a bit more sneaky than this in a few years time.

#63

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Paul Hutton 12 months ago

"Don’t blink. Don’t even blink. Blink and you’re dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and DON’T blink."

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Abby Rexroth 1 year ago

Yeah! The lazy hypocrites!!!

#65

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Creep Reap 1 year ago

That is the best last name ever. /o\

#66

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Creep Reap 1 year ago

Won't they just jump on you and stuff?

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#67

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Laugh Fan 1 year ago

Ah, but a person playing a joke after midday is the "April fool" themselves. Stops things nicely at lunchtime.

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Brandon Collinsworth 1 year ago

I keep all of it, I am looking forward to pulling out this huge box in my closet and going through it with them when they graduate college. I literally have kept every picture they ever handed me and said, "I made this for you daddy"

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Stille20 1 year ago

Is it really that hard? This happens at work ALL OF THE TIME. I'm happy to share the bathroom with transsexuals. It's men who can't aim that drive me nuts.

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Ben S. 1 year ago

Bwhahahaha! Think how good that toast would taste if you combined the two... /s

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Full Name 1 year ago

Every guy I knew could recite those lyrics. I haven't heard that song in probably 20 years, but I just walked around my living room like an idiot and sung it! Those lyrics are probably going to get passed down through epigenetics.

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Nardo218 x 1 year ago

never wake a baby. febreeze

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#77

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Kai Cin Liang 1 year ago

Cheerios is your safest bet

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#78

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JillVille 1 year ago

Dammit, you got me!