50 ‘Mental UK Headlines’ That Are 100% British

I guess detention would have been enough. So much sadness and depression being separated from your favorite seatmate in class.

He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.

'One was so drunk it fell off the roof' hahaha

Ahh.. the golden gull.

Legend.

Beer, curry and Tool’s music. Not a bad way to re start life

Ah, but is this a Colin or Wiggles cake? Coz that looks like Wiggles (from Sainsbury's), because otherwise this wouldn't just be a pothole, it'd be an M&S pothole.

Piglet tried to dispose of the body?

Cougar rather than Leopard I reckon.

...I believe this...

If he hasn't hit anyone, just give him an official driving license. He proved he deserves it.

What a time to be alive.

WHY???

How many birthdays does this pothole have?

She knew...

Just being a hero

Could be worse. They could have been watching Eastenders. Now get out my pub you slaaaaag!

They've not posted this one well, but basically, someone threatened to call social services because of her eyebrows.

Som many people are left "crying and shaking", traumatized, or "devastated" these days.

that must be a pain in the ass

She'd be a lot more recognizable if both eyes were on the same side of her nose.

How's a girl supposed to chop wood these days

Brexit Britain at its worst :(

And the 2022 Darwin awards goes to...

Peppa Pig to appear in the next series of Hannibal.

The next word out of the baby was “innit”

And then they all clapped. No, they didn't.

Yeah, we all make mistakes - sure, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Saying "everyone does it" isn't really taking responsibility.

-"What is the purpose of your visit?" - "Well actually I'm a terrorist and I will be performing terrorist acts throughout the country" - "OK sir, enjoy your stay"

Makes me proud to be British :)

Don't look back in anger.

“Attic shark do doo” 🎶

He couldn't resist a rest

TWO YEARS???? That must be bull s**t.

And she would walk 500 more

It’s all part of the experience really..

I saw this apparently it was found safely outside in a hedge. Apparently the staff were very worried about it as nature abhors a vacuum. 😂

The couple in the photo seem awfully cheery about it

Did he order the seagull covered with curry?

Good!

Isn't this just about the Youtuber Colin Furze?

Was he late for an eye test at Barnard Castle?

I saw an entire box of Voodoo Doughnuts face down the other day…doughnut guts spilled everywhere…f*****g tragedy

Its a joke....

A park? You have a park? In our day all we had was a grass verge to play on and we were thankful of that!

It should be mentioned that this little girl has Autism and struggles a lot with selective eating, which in some cases can be so severe that they would rather starve than eat something that isn't familiar or suitable for their selective tastes/texture etc.

so the limit is 7kg?

ngl having to pay 54 pounds for fish and chips is pretty traumatising

I've heard that she's also against photos in horizontal mode.

He's a cockwomble.

Well apparently if you hold them in you may end up in hospital

Oh dear, those edibles sneak up on you. Got one cookie for my friend. Recommend she eat a quarter. She had the whole cookie cause she couldn't feel it then spent the whole next day high. She didn't make that mistake again.

They did a study proving that most people in fact cannot tell the difference between pate and dog food if the latter is sufficiently puréed. Edit: "most" in this case was 5 in 6 people of over a hundred.

He's bin there, done that.

"deranged hooligans"

That's just sick. There is a special place in hell for scammers. Not that I believe in hell but there should be.

Should have got Bodger and Badger on the case

According to eyewitness reports, the wheels on the bus went round and round

That night the binman was cornered in the street and beaten up. The assailants were heard singing 'Walking in the air' described as large white men wearing hats and scarves.

In my hometown that would be fairly tame

"..but mice make me feel huge and lions make me crap my undies.'

He was ”only messing” only after getting caught.

liam needs to get with the program A$AP

What?

Glad to see Nick Fury is on the case. Which Avengers will he send?

martin734 (Submission author)

martin734

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https://metro.co.uk/2022/01/22/ireland-two-men-took-corpse-into-post-office-to-try-and-claim-pension-15965239/

What did the goblins do to deserve that?