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When Confidence Goes Too Far: 35 Times Men Assumed They Knew Better
You know those men who see a woman backing into a parking spot and immediately decide that they should start directing her and giving her “help,” even though she’s done the same maneuver a thousand times? Or what about those guys that feel the need to explain cryptocurrency to any woman who gives them a second of her time? Being mansplained to is, unfortunately, a universal experience that women know all too well. And today, we’ve got a list of facepalm-worthy examples down below.
Women have been sharing the most condescending mansplaining they’ve ever endured on Reddit, so we’ve gathered their most infuriating stories. Enjoy reading through these tales that might make you violently roll your eyes, and keep reading to find a conversation with Suzanna de Baca, CEO of Story Board Advisors.
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#1
I've been in a call with a company client where we did introductions, I'm the laboratory analyst and was the one working with the stuff they were sending to us.
We ran through normal procedure, and I suggested some ways to move forward with their stuff to get the results they wanted.
"That's great but what does the man working on our stuff think? (Directed at my boss)"
Boss: "the man not working on your stuff thinks the woman working on your stuff is right."
Oh the client wasn't happy, but it felt wonderful and big props to my boss for being a legend.
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#2
I was on the clinical dev team for the phase 3 moderna vaccine. Countless people, almost always men, would explain how the vaccine does/doesn’t work after I’ve explained my line of work.
Bonus: I now like to call mansplaining “correctile dysfunction”
#3
Not sure if it counts, but a guy trying to explain to me how to get blood off your clothes... And he refused to simply believe I've been washing blood off since I was 11
To gain more insight into this topic, we got in touch with Suzanna de Baca, CEO of Story Board Advisors. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and break down what exactly mansplaining is.
"Mansplaining is a made up word that describes the phenomenon of a person, generally a man, providing a condescending explanation of something to someone who already understands it," Suzanna explained. "Mansplaining differs from 'normal everyday explaining,' in that the explanation or comment is generally communicated in a condescending or overconfident tone, is sometimes inaccurate and often oversimplified."
#4
I always had really painful, irregular periods. Was diagnosed with PCOS at 14, and had to fight for an endometriosis diagnosis for a decade. I was probably 21, and saw a military gynecologist, on base. I didn't get to pick the doc, so it was a man. We proceed with the appointment, he asks about my pain, so I explain how it's pretty constant, not just during my period. Then he asks how I know I have PCOS. Well.. I was diagnosed thanks to labs and ultrasounds and symptoms. He doesn't believe me and orders new tests. THEN he tells me I obviously need to work out more, because my pain is muscular. He says that my pain just "doesnt make sense", then proceeds to explain the whole menstrual cycle to me like I am a child, even after I tried to stop him. It was as if I'd never had a period and didn't understand hormones and cramps.
3 years later I was diagnosed with stage 3 endo on every pelvic organ. Thankfully I found a fantastic excision surgeon who never tries to mansplain.
#5
I was training a new employee (male) and part of the training was sitting in with me when I met with clients. First day, first meeting, I explained to the client that I was training new employee and new employee would be sitting in but not participating in conversation, just listening and learning. Within 30 seconds the client was directing all questions to new employee and ignoring my answers. Finally, I asked new employee to step out of the room. I asked client if he had a problem with me and would prefer to talk to my boss? Client mansplained to me how males are better at my job because the male brain is better at business because they think without emotion. He asked for the new employee and I told him new employee has been on the job for 2 hours, the only thingbhe knows so far is where the bathroom is and where the breakroom is. Client finally accepted I would be the one helping him and appointment continued. After he said - wow you really know your stuff.
Of course I know my stuff! I've been in my industry for over 10 years!
#6
I had a man mansplain mansplaining 😂 Apparently, it’s when a man wins an argument and a woman doesn’t have anything else to say to win, so they accuse him of mansplaining.
"While women have, for decades, experienced the realities of gender disparities in the workplace, a new vocabulary has emerged to describe those experiences," Suzanna continued. "It is not always gender specific, but research conducted by Michigan State University graduate research fellow Caitlin Briggs published in the Journal of Business and Psychology indicates women tend to react more negatively because we are so often questioned about our competence and qualifications."
"Over time, the term has become commonly used to describe a disrespectful or condescending explanation regardless of whether the commenter was male or female," she added.
#7
I have big b***s and the number of times I’ve had guys try to explain bra sizes to *me,* or act like DD/DDD is the “biggest they can get naturally”…
That, and “why are you showing them off, just wear looser clothing”… when I was in a T-SHIRT. Not my fault you can’t control your eyes hon
#8
I work in marketing. At the time I was working for a beer company and was the only female in the room in a planning meeting to come up with campaign ideas for the following year. I was there as the retail marketer, as I worked closely with the sales team to execute campaigns in-store.
They came up with an idea they thought was hilarious and became an echo chamber. After a bit I spoke up and said it was a really fun idea, and we should definitely do a social media campaign about it, but it wouldn’t work in retail. Keep in mind that before we got started the CMO gave a big speech about how any idea we presented to the President needed to work in all spaces. So he didn’t like that I said it didn’t work. He legit said these words after I made that comment, “You see unicornsneezes, how marketing works is that xyz.” I had been in the industry for over 15 years and had more actual marketing and advertising experience than a lot of other people in the room. I just shut my mouth.
The next day he presented the idea to the President of the company. Guess what he said. “Cool idea, but there’s no way it’s going to work in retail.”
#9
I was a gas turbine engineer in the Navy. I had a friend ask me to teach some of her new guys the propulsion part of the surface warfare pin exam. I took them to the engineroom and one guy started a whole spiel on a ballasting system that we did not have on our ship. He actually dismissed me when I started explaining the seawater compensation system that we used onboard instead. He also insisted we only used diesel engines and went on to explain how I am confusing gas turbine with diesel engines. We did not use diesel engines. I am a gas turbine engineer, stationed onboard this particular ship because it is powered by gas turbine engines. I also write the exam questions for my section of his exam. He did not pass.
So why are men so inclined to "mansplain"? "Research varies, but traditional societal norms or expectations reinforce the idea that men should exude confidence, appear knowledgeable or add value," Suzanna noted.
"Men (or women who mansplain) may do this unintentionally, unaware that they are doing it. The condescending tone or approach may be attributable to numerous factors, ranging from a lack of emotional intelligence to unconscious overcompensation for a lack of confidence," the expert continued. "In personal situations, men may be trying to be protective or assist in solving problems, or lack the ability to connect emotionally so resort to behavior that ends up being patronizing."
#10
When I (F, late thirties) first met my SIL's new boyfriend, he asked what I was doing for a living (I work in academia). He then proceeded to explain my own PhD thesis to me, you know, the one I have written and defended years ago, and the one he hadn't even heard of before we were introduced... 🤦
Also, I am assistant professor now and whenever I show up for class with my teaching assistant (M, early twenties) for the first time, people often automatically assume he is the Dr. in the room. When I mentioned this on one of the academic subs around here, the most upvoted comment was (I wish I was kidding): "What were you wearing?" 🤦🤦
#11
I'm an electrician (when I still worked in the field I mostly did commercial and industrial work; I teach at our training center now). One day I was installing electrical boxes in stud walls. The brackets I was using to mount the boxes were an expandable type, adjustable to fit different stud spacings. A carpenter walked up out of nowhere, took the bracket I was adjusting *out of my hands,* and showed me how he'd seen other electricians adjust the brackets, "because you see how the studs are only attached at the top and bottom? They're flexible, so if your bracket is too wide it's going to bow the studs out and the drywallers won't have a straight line to hang their boards with."
I lowered my chin and just stared at him until he got uncomfortable and went away. I've been told I have a "scary" resting face and it comes in handy all the time on jobsites (and occasionally in the classroom).
#12
A male acquaintance of mine was trying to tell me how he took Tri-Cyclen (oral contraceptive pill) for acne when he was a teenager. I asked him if he meant to say tetracycline (an antibiotic used to treat acne) but he condescendingly responded that it was Tri-Cyclen. He had no healthcare background. I’m a pharmacist.
But Suzanna says that it's important to know that not all men mansplain. "And not all explanations are wrong, even if they are not communicated in a productive manner," she pointed out. "It is possible the person – conditioned by societal norms – is truly trying to be helpful. It is possible the person is trying to add value, or in a personal situation they want to protect or take care – or perhaps they don’t really know how to connect."
#13
A coworker mansplaining our job which I've been doing over a year, with incorrect information. I straight up told him, "That is incorrect, and in fact the process is exactly the opposite of what you just said. I assure you, the client does NOT want 10 identical data sets, but 10 unique ones for analysis. Since I've been here a year longer than you have, they would most certainly have corrected any mistakes by now." So I pulled rank, seniority, and y'all...HE APOLOGIZED.
#14
I'm doing my PhD in soil chemistry and am experimenting with biochar in forest soils. A random dude with no background in the area started telling me that adding biochar to forests is a fire hazard and that I must stop immediately. Biochar has huge water retention potential and can be incredibly beneficial in preventing forest fires, but who am I to explain stuff to internet experts...
#15
I had a Lowe's (hardware store in the US) employee tell me he was "trying to find a way to compare it to cooking or cleaning" when I asked him for advice about putting up drywall on a partition wall in my garage.
So how should we respond to mansplaining? "Well intended or not, it is important to respond with clear and respectful communication to point out the behavior and to reinforce your own ground rules for communication in the relationship," Suzanna shared.
"It can be helpful to refer to the behavior or inaccuracy, and ask the person to listen to your point of view or perspective. Depending on the situation, you can remind them you are familiar with the topic or situation (perhaps even have specific expertise)," she continued. "You also can politely respond that you’ve 'got this,' redirect the conversation or – if your response is falling on deaf ears – end the interaction or come back to it later."
#16
I used to work at a coffee shop and a man ordered an americano from me and I went over to the espresso machine to make it and this m**********r leans his grubby elbows onto this $15,000 machine to say “yeah so an americano is like espresso and water.” YOU DONT SAY?? Thank god you’re here to teach the BARISTA how to make coffee !! Enjoy your decaf
#17
I was born and raised in South East Asia, and learned how to use chopsticks from my South East Asian grandparents (who both came from wealthy, snobby families) and parents.
My American born non-Asian ex tried to explain to me how to use chopsticks because he learned how to do it differently through YouTube.
#18
I was working out on a public path. A guy is staring at me. When I pause he announces "Men don't like women who are too into fitness." I laughed a bit and said I was ok with that and tried to go back to working out. But now he is in front of me, all puffed up and red, "No, you need to listen to me, I am telling you something you need to know!"
I decided it was time to start my run.
Finally, Suzanna added that there is often a burden on women to sit politely and smile, use humor to diffuse a situation, or to be accommodating when we are interrupted or on the receiving end of condescending interactions.
"To change societal norms, it is important that we speak up about the type of communication we prefer and deserve to receive," she told Bored Panda. "Providing that feedback in the same respectful way we expect to be treated will help provide opportunities for others to learn, grow and change outdated societal norms."
#19
To preface, I'm an electrical engineer and have been at my current job for over a year.
I was in a meeting with all of my coworkers (who are male). For about an hour, one of them is reading and explaining a program in depth specifically TO ME. I let him talk the program up and don't say a word. The design is going to be used on all of the systems in the company starting this year. He talks about how the director is really excited about it and how it'll up our production. He said I could really benefit from reviewing the code and learning from it.
I ask him to look at the revision information.
It says "author: u/NickieSteph"
Face crack lol
#20
Was explaining to my sister that there are 4 different types of IP addresses while on a hay ride.
Guy sitting with his wife starts saying, “No.” After every one of my sentences.
So, I pulled out my phone like, “Hey sis, let me show you on google the different types of IPs. Public, Private, Static, and Dynamic! Yep, some people think there’s only ONE, but those people only work on ONE so I understand their confusion!”
He didn’t interrupt for the rest of the ride.
#21
I was in the middle of donating platelets, which is a 2-hour process. I was trying to read a book during it, so when the nurse asked if I was comfortable, I asked for a pillow to prop the book up. (It's hard to hold and turn pages one-handed while not accidentally moving the arm with the needle in it.) The man next to me started trying to tell me that I should've asked them to tilt the bed at a different angle for better neck support.
The nurse interrupted him to say, "you don't have to tell fuzzybunny how to donate blood. She's here every 2 weeks." And pointed to the "Blood drive ambassador" T-shirt I was wearing, which I got for volunteering to raise awareness about the need for donor blood.
That shut the old man up.
#22
During a training class for a new job, I had a guy mansplain how to close an internet page. And yes this was in the last 5 years.
You click the X If anyone is wondering! 🙃
#23
My BIL asked me if I was sure I understood crime rates after I corrected him on violent crime rates in major US cities. I’ve been a crime analyst for 5 years and have a Master of Science in criminal justice/criminology. He has a GED and has never worked in the field, just gets all his information from Fox news.
#24
One guy mansplained seasons to me because I tried to tell him that HVAC needs in a museum are very different from other county buildings. He literally started by saying, "You see, there are four seasons in a year, and you have to change the temperature in each season" and then went on for another 20 minutes
#25
I have a BA in psychology. When I was in my junior year of college I had a guy who I randomly happened to bump into often while smoking in between classes. He asked me if I knew the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. I told him that neither were in the DSM 5 and they never had been. I let him know that the correct diagnosis was antisocial personality disorder. He, this guy who was in his first quarter of college, proceeded to lecture me about the difference.
Like dude, I’m majoring in this and have been for three years. You started college a few months ago and are majoring in business. But sure, I needed a man to tell me about my chosen field of study. I’m sure all those professors who have masters degrees and PhD’s in the field were just waiting for you to come along and correct their decades of experience.
#26
I was ill in bed with pneumonia and a kidney infection. I got my period mid-week - the mouldy cherry on top of a really s****y cake. I asked my then-boyfriend to grab me some tampons on his way home from work. He called me and whined that people might think they’re for him, they’re dirty, he doesn’t want to carry them. Could he not come to the house, pick me up and I go in and buy them myself? After I explained gravity and the impact of blood all over his precious car, he relented and agreed.
He called me from the tampon aisle, *whispering*, to ask which ones I needed. I explained just a box of regular. He grabbed them and then he was like, “umm there’s some super plus plus ones here. Wouldn’t they be better?”. No thanks. I know my flow. Regular is fine. “Babe I don’t know if you know but there’s *a lot* of blood. I really think super plus plus would be better. Trust me”. Again explained my flow doesn’t need them so just the regular please.
He came home with the super plus plus. I had no choice but to use them but I did explain TSS to him and why the right tampon for the flow is vital. Too big a tampon does not make it any easier. Idiot.
#27
A new hire at work was in training and had been under the guidance of two of my male coworkers the day before. On his second day, he was under my guidance and began telling me how to do my job. At first I thought he was just reciting specifics out loud to remember them for his own sake, but after the third or fourth time, I realized he was literally trying to train me on how my job works. I stopped him after only a few minutes, and told him I am a supervisor and am here to train him today. “Oh, my apologies- I thought you were new here too.” As I stood there in a full supervisor uniform with my name tag that says supervisor and after he had been told a supervisor with my name would be guiding him on that day.
#28
My boss of 8 years. He's in his 60s. I get pregnant for the first time. He taught me all about childbirth. He was a self-proclaimed expert. How? His ex-wife had 2 kids. So he knew all about it. He told me what it would be like, how recovery would be, and that I really only needed a few weeks of maternity leave. My entire pregnancy was full of advice and explanations.
THEN.
A małe co-worker's wife gets pregnant. Guess what? He's going through a major life change. We don't expect him to show up for meeting for months. He's excused from tasks nearly 3 months after baby arrived. Boss knows the stress he's dealing with.
#29
In the earlier years of Discord there was this guy on a private server for friends that tried to claim that mansplaining doesn't exist. A lot of us tried to explain to him that it's a real and demonstrable thing that exists, and his response was to just... Mansplain mansplaining. It was kind of spectacular how much he didn't get it.
#30
My bf’s car braking system was making odd noises and he was complaining that he needed to take the car to the mechanic. From the sound of the noise, I suggest a couple mechanical problems that could be the cause. I worked at a dealership most of my younger years and two years as the parts manager. I grew up in a car business family, so I know a thing or two about cars. Bf listened to my suggestions and then explained to me (very slowly 🙄) how braking systems work. Uhh, okay I know, I could literally build one. Smh.
#31
A few years ago during college I went to visit my friend in his frat to smoke a little and hang out. These two younger guys were sitting on the couch and talking me and my friend up. At some point they started explaining really basic statistics, like what a p value to us.
It was really satisfying when they stopped and asked what I studied to tell them I was pre-med and a computer science major. Then my friend (a political science major) corrected their explanation because she had just taken stats. A glorious moment.
#32
I used to drive Uber. One time this dude came into my car, asked me to turn down the radio and proceeded to EXPLAIN TO ME HOW UBER WORKS. While he was in my Uber, which I was driving, and had been driving for years. I wanted the five stars so I just had to listen to him for the whole drive.
#33
My wife and her female friend (both PhDs in biology) had a bro (with no biology/medical background) try and explain to them that the gene responsible for depression had been discovered. He had listened to a ~2hr podcast on the subject and could not be convinced that these two people with a combined 10+ years of education in the field might know more than him.
#34
I have a PhD in neuroscience. A first year student tried to explain what Parkinson’s disease was to me, after I explained to him that I knew what PD was. But he knew better than me, because he was a few weeks into his first course on neuroscience. So I had to listen to 20 minutes of partially correct rambling.
#35
I work in IT at a software development company. I provide support to customers for our manufacturing software. I've had men explain to me how the software works. Wait, are you doing my job for me? Why did you even call for help then?
The other good one is when I answer the phone and they go, "oh I'm sorry, I must have pressed the wrong button, can you please transfer me to support?".
Through the lens of societal behaviors, it's intriguing to observe how often certain actions, like the undervaluation of unique abilities or the prevalence of condescending explanations, manifest. While discussing the range of talents people possess, often labeled as 'useless', it's noteworthy how personal abilities can be trivialized.
For instance, understanding how a seemingly minor skill or piece of knowledge might be perceived ties back to a similar theme of undervaluing certain capabilities, much like the unique skills and talents shared by many Reddit users.
You might also like: 34 “Not My Job” Moments Where People Did Bare Minimum
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