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Quite often, people coming out to their friends, family, or even acquaintances in their circles is a big deal for their lives and identities. Sadly, sometimes after such revelation relationships crumble due to people’s inability to accept queer people.
In today’s story, the opposite thing happened. The woman’s friend came out to her, and she supported him with open arms. Yet, soon after he started lashing out at her about LGBTQ+ problems, insisting she doesn’t support him, and stuff like that. It became so bad that the woman started wishing he had never come out.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
A person coming out to another can drastically change their relationship on many levels
Image credits: Keira Burton / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman’s close friend came out as a cross-dresser to her, explaining he wasn’t gay or trans, just liked dressing femininely
Image credits: Alexander Grey / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She full-heartedly supported him and never made a big deal out of it
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Then, seemingly out of the blue, he started lashing out at her with his LGBTQ+ related problems, insisting that she secretly hates, and things like that
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This was far from the truth, as she never hated him, but always supported and defended him against others
Image credits: randolphia-
So, she started feeling like his punching bag, as he always lashed out at her when he felt bad
The OP and her best friend have known each other for around a decade. Their relationship was strengthened when the friend supported the author throughout her struggles after an assault by her jailed ex-boyfriend.
Then, one day, a friend came out to her as a cross-dresser. Basically, a cross-dresser is a person who likes to dress in clothes that are considered to be of a different gender. So, in this case, this friend, who was male at birth, liked to dress in feminine clothes, like heels and stuff.
He revealed this to the OP because he knew that she stood with the LGBTQ+ community, so it was safe to tell her. After all, sometimes, people who surround queer individuals aren’t as open-minded, which makes it possibly unsafe for people to come out, but it wasn’t the case in this story.
When coming out as, this man clarified that he wasn’t gay or trans, just a cross-dresser, which is also a part of the LGBTQ+ community, even if quite marginalized. The original poster’s friend definitely felt like a part of it, and, sadly, this kind of deteriorated their friendship.
He started constantly digging for reassurance about himself, and what’s worse, kept fighting with his friend about the community’s problems. For instance, he kept insisting that one day the woman would change her mind about the trans community, because she’s susceptible to propaganda, or that she secretly hates him, and things like that.
Image credits: Anete Lusina / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Basically, all the things he kept repeating were very out of pocket and made the OP beyond confused. She always was an ally to queer community and her friend. She bought things for him to wear, advocated for him in front of other friends, and so on, but he still lashes out at her.
It made her feel like a punching bag. She even started wishing he had never come out to her, and things could be the way they were before that, when they were very close.
Since she didn’t want to give up on such a precious friendship easily, the woman turned to the online world for help on what she could do about this situation, as it was getting out of hand.
Well, as always, people online had opinions about the situation. The general consensus was that it wasn’t the coming out itself, but rather the fact that the friend could lash out at her, that was the problem here. Many folks suggested that he should look into therapy, as there are clearly some underlying issues that need to be addressed.
Well, the OP liked the idea of therapy and started looking into how she could help her friend with it. What we can say is that she’s a dedicated friend, the one who stands by a person when she understands they need help. So, maybe their friendship isn’t doomed, and they will find a way out of this nasty situation.
What do you think about this situation? Share your takes in the comments!
When she asked for advice on what to do online, people there strongly suggested that the man should get therapy, as there’s definitely something going on
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What do you think ?
Midoribird Aoi 6 months ago
He needs therapy pronto. She was supportive, so she became his "safe" person, and would show an emotional range to her that he doesn't feel safe or assured to show anyone else. But his persistent denial of his deeper issues, and the outbursts it causes, is too much; she is not a therapist. It is clear that his self denial of deeper issues is causing him significantly greater distress, and he is taking it out on the one person he ever felt safe with. And it is just that. He thinks she is safe to express it all, while expect her to put up with it. Therapy or no more friendship; friends should be your supporters, not your dumping grounds.
Bookworm 6 months ago
Why does OP hate nuns? /s. OP needs to tell T his actions are putting the friendship at risk. If he doesn't change she needs to drop him.
Debbie 6 months ago
p-e-d-o and r-a-p-i-s-t-s but the n - - s? Nudes? nices? nurderers? I have no clue.
Load More Replies...
Mark Childers 6 months ago
I've started cutting people like this out of my life. When every exchange gets heated, and I'm the one taking all of the flak, it's time for me to move on. I'm not a punching bag and refuse to act like one.
Midoribird Aoi 6 months ago
He needs therapy pronto. She was supportive, so she became his "safe" person, and would show an emotional range to her that he doesn't feel safe or assured to show anyone else. But his persistent denial of his deeper issues, and the outbursts it causes, is too much; she is not a therapist. It is clear that his self denial of deeper issues is causing him significantly greater distress, and he is taking it out on the one person he ever felt safe with. And it is just that. He thinks she is safe to express it all, while expect her to put up with it. Therapy or no more friendship; friends should be your supporters, not your dumping grounds.
Bookworm 6 months ago
Why does OP hate nuns? /s. OP needs to tell T his actions are putting the friendship at risk. If he doesn't change she needs to drop him.
Debbie 6 months ago
p-e-d-o and r-a-p-i-s-t-s but the n - - s? Nudes? nices? nurderers? I have no clue.
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 6 months ago
I've started cutting people like this out of my life. When every exchange gets heated, and I'm the one taking all of the flak, it's time for me to move on. I'm not a punching bag and refuse to act like one.
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