Husband Made His Wife Attend A Party, He Regrets It Every Day

We all have a past… Some more shady than others. What matters is whether we acknowledge our mistakes, and how we choose to move forward. For one woman, religion was the answer to wiping the slate clean. She pivoted from wild college girl to conservative wife in a bid to live a “moral life.”

Her husband says he was aware she’d once been a “wild girl” but it seems he didn’t know the half of it. It was only when he convinced her to go to a party with some old friends that the skeletons started tumbling out of the closet. Those skeletons haunted the wife so much that she’s decided on a life of celibacy to “repent for her sins.” Her husband is regretting ever telling her to go out.

He convinced his conservative, religious wife to go out partying with some of her old college friends

Image credits: pressfoto / freepik (not the actual photo)

He didn’t realize that one night would trigger his wife to take a vow of celibacy and ruin his entire marriage

Image credits: Halinskyi Maksym / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits:  Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: anon

People weren’t convinced that religion could save Cara

He revealed that they kissed for the first time in two months, before things spiraled again

Image credits: dusanpetkovic / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: anon

Netizens suspected there was something deeper going on, with some advising the husband to go for therapy too

“She doesn’t deserve happiness”: the man did an about-turn after his wife started therapy

Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: anon

Struggling to deal with your partner’s past? Here’s what to do, according to an expert…

Is your partner’s past (wild or otherwise) consuming your thoughts and driving you crazy? You may be dealing with something known as retroactive jealousy.

“Retroactive jealousy, or what is also referred to as ‘retrospective jealousy’ and ‘retrograde jealousy,’ refers to painful thoughts and curiosity regarding a partner’s past relationships and/or [relationship] history,” explains Zachary Stockill, an award-winning Canadian researcher, writer, educator and an expert on the matter.

It’s a complex issue, says Stockill, and one that can’t be fixed overnight. “To get to the bottom of this issue takes some effort, humility, dedication, and an open mind,” he reveals.

Stockhill says he’s received “thousands” of emails from “thousands of husbands who can’t come to terms with their wives’ past. “Exhausted,” “depressed,” and “extremely frustrated” are just a few of the words used to describe what these men are feeling.

But the expert says introspection is key when it comes to dealing with retroactive jealousy. It’s about getting to the bottom of our values, our expectations, our conception of ourselves and our partner, our childhood, our own past, and much more.

“However, if you want to ‘stop the bleeding’ as quickly as possible, the first step is to immediately stop asking your partner questions about her past,” advises Stockhill. That means, stop asking questions, and if your partner is the one constantly talking about ex lovers, stop them.

Stockhill says while it’s tempting to want to ask one or two more questions in order to put the matter to bed, it’s impossible to “think” or “reason” your way through this issue. He adds that your partner cannot solve this problem for you, no matter how much they divulge about their past.

It’s a neverending cycle, he says. “The more information you receive, the more you’ll think you need,” Stockhill warns.”Like a junkie who promises himself he just needs ‘one more fix.’”

Interestingly, he notes that the majority of the time it’s a case of the pot calling the kettle black. “Nine times out of ten, the man struggling with these questions does not exactly have a squeaky-clean past himself…”

Stockhill says that retroactive jealousy can seriously warp and distort our perspective on what is “normal” and not normal, what is and isn’t acceptable, what’s a dealbreaker, and what’s not.

He cautions that when dealing with the issue, you have to make a concrete decision on whether to work on the relationship or leave. You cannot keep one foot in the door and the other one out.

Nor can you keep sporadically “punishing” your wife for her past for the foreseeable future.

We all have a past and none of us can change it. All we can do, if we have regrets, is try to be better than before. 

“Look at the woman your wife is now, compared to the woman she was in her past,” says Stockhill. Has she grown? Has she demonstrated good values? Is she committed to self-improvement? Has she improved your life as a man? Does she bring joy, love, fulfillment to your life?

“If the answer is ‘no,” he reveals. “Your marriage has a much bigger problem than just retroactive jealousy.”

“She doesn’t deserve happiness?”: many felt parting was for the best

People had mixed reactions… Some called Cara “horrible,” while others felt sorry for her

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