Woman Can’t Bear The Extreme Noise Her Neighbor’s Toddler Makes, Asks Online If She Should File Yet Another Complaint That Might Lead To Eviction
It’s no big secret how important having a tranquil environment at home is for our overall well-being. However, unless you live in a detached house, sometimes the comfort that we’ve built over the years gets disturbed by new neighbors.
That is precisely the situation that Reddit user u/TeHNyboR has found herself in. Many complaints were filed against the new family that moved in across the hall because of their noisy kid. The disturbance never stopped, and the woman is now considering reporting them again.
More info: Reddit
Couple’s loud toddler makes their neighbor’s life a living hell
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
She is considering filing yet another noise complaint but fears that they may get evicted
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: William Fortunato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Charles Hutchins (not the actual photo)
Image credits: denisbin (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jonathan Cutrer (not the actual photo)
Image source: TeHNyboR
“WIBTA if I filed another noise complaint about my neighbor’s very loud toddler?” – this web user turned to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members whether she’d be a jerk for filing yet another noise complaint about her neighbor’s toddler, one that could potentially lead to the family’s eviction. The post managed to garner nearly 5K upvotes as well as 1.4K comments debating the situation.
Everybody deserves to be comfortable within the space of their own home. You go there to unwind after a very demanding day of engaging in boisterous activities, and most will probably agree that it’s, hands down, the best feeling ever.
However, the star of today’s article, u/TeHNyboR, is in a slightly different position. The thing is, the woman works from home and characterizes herself as somewhat of a homebody, which means that she spends most of her time at her apartment. Everything was peachy until several months ago when a family moved in across the hall with a 2- or 3-year-old toddler. The inconveniences began during their move. It took over two weeknights and involved a lot of banging and loud talking between the late hours of roughly 10 and 12 at night, which made a bad first impression on her and her roommate.
The family has been living there for a few months, and their youngster has already established a reputation for being quite rowdy. While working, the post’s creator often hears the toddler scream “bloody murder,” loud enough for it to seem like the girl is standing directly in her apartment. The woman frequently has to apologize to people she is on calls with for the child’s screeching; moreover, she also hears her shenanigans at night from her bedroom, which is actually the farthest room in the apartment from the front door.
The OP then noted that the child’s screaming doesn’t sound worrisome or suggest that it originates from being an excited toddler – instead, it sounds more like a typical tantrum. Anywho, she has already called and complained about the family to their office and knows that multiple other neighbors have also filed reports.
Recently, the woman had to call in sick with a bad migraine, and, as you probably guessed, even with the door of her room closed, she could still hear the kid going up until 10 p.m. She pointed out that it didn’t sound to her like her parents were trying to get her to calm down, so she resorted to speaking to a couple of friends for some advice – however, she was instead told to “keep it moving” because “parenting is hard.”
The OP revealed that she’s an aunt to two kids, so she gets that taking care of children isn’t the most effortless thing ever – yet, she feels like there should be a line.
Now, onto the main issue. The family already has two violations for excessive noise, and the OP believes that one more could get them booted out. The netizen continued by saying that even though the noise is a major issue that her neighbors have been repeatedly warned about by the management and that it disrupts both her work and leisure time, she can’t help but feel awful knowing that she might be the reason they get evicted.
She claims that the kid frequently screams “bloody murder,” which interferes with both her professional and private life
Image credits: Ono Kosuki (not the actual photo)
Sometime later, the Redditor updated her post and added some extra commentary to answer a few questions. Firstly, she stated that noise-canceling headphones aren’t always an option for her and that she’s already had work people tell her they can hear the child’s screeching over said headphones.
The woman then noted that her office space is an open area, so there’s no way of noise-proofing it. Regarding the breaking of the lease, it costs 1,000 bucks to do so; plus she has a roommate to consider. Moreover, she’s been residing at this place for eight years, so the only things that are getting broken are her “eardrums and patience.”
Some community members also remarked that perhaps the child might have a disability, but the OP has no info on that. She also doesn’t suspect abuse and has not called CPS – however, she now believes that a wellness check wouldn’t hurt. Last but not least, the woman said that she’s neither able to move her home office nor work from a friend’s house, as she works with confidential information. She also suffers from chronic pain – thus, remote employment is preferable for her well-being.
Now, chances are a couple of you have already dealt with loud neighbors or are perhaps even dealing with some right now, and while the actions you can take generally depend on the nature of the noise nuisance, one thing is certain: letting it slide will not do you any good (of course, we’re talking about a significant noise level and not the occasional disturbance in the form of heavy footsteps and whatnot).
For instance, Nolo, a publisher in Berkley, California, whose mission is to help consumers and small businesses find answers to their everyday legal and business questions, has a great step-by-step guide on how to deal with rackety neighbors correctly.
Start by approaching said neighbor and discussing the matter with them directly, because more often than not, they are not aware of it. Then, if that doesn’t work, it’s suggested you get a copy of your local noise ordinance. And if reminding your neighbor of the rules also doesn’t do the job, you should then report the problem to the landlord or homeowners association in writing.
If you value keeping the peace, the website suggests considering mediation. Apparently, such services are available in most cities and are often free. If that doesn’t get you the desired result, you’re left with two last options – calling the police and suing for nuisance.
Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the matter
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Share on FacebookWhat is with the "just get noise cancelling earphones." or "Get earplugs."? It's not good for your ears to constantly have stuff shoved in them. Especially to sleep at night. I did that before and woke up with a terribly painful earache. Plus, they don't work as well as you'd think. Plus, it's not safe when you have to be able to wake up to fire alarms if necessary. Anyhoo. It's not normal that a child is constantly that upset. Yeah, yeah parenting is hard. Been there, done that. But isn't a kid supposed to be generally happy much of the time? I know the OP states she hears the kid all the time, but also mentions the parents shout, too, but doesn't emphasize this as much as the kid. If I heard that much shouting and screaming all the time that it warrants multiple calls to mgmt, AND it's late at night when pre-schoolers should be long in bed, in the hallway, I would definitely make a call for a wellness check. I've done this for similar reasons.
I want to add, when you call for a wellness check you call non-emergency police (unless it sounds like the child is in immediate danger or something is terribly wrong.). Usually, if nothing is found to be wrong, and it's just a loud kid who's having tantrums, nothing else is done. Police are not the ones to apprehend kids. They can offer parents contacts for support services and recommendations. That's about it. If something is very wrong then they can call a CPS social worker to investigate the situation further.
Load More Replies...The fact OP says the conversations in the hall are loud, I'd assume (and I'm aware I'm just assuming here) that they are a naturally loud family. My husband said as a child he remembers learning how to manage his vocal levels as he is naturally loud. Their idea of quiet clearly doesn't match that of others in the building. Either way I feel for the neighbours. I live in an apartment and have a toddler but am fortunate in that he's actually pretty quiet. I do however agree with a poster that this isn't OP's problem, it's the landlord's issue to deal with. They shouldn't feel guilty for speaking up (excuse the pun) to the landlord.
I get ear infections easily, noise cancelling headphones or earplugs are not an option for me. I hate when people suggest that for that reason as well as why should I have to accomodate your badly behaved child? Teach the child they have neighbors, take them to parks, get them exercise, treat them well. Don't just let them shriek 24/7! We have noisy kids next door at our townhome and although I have headphones and white noise machines in every room I can STILL hear them stomping, rolling bowling balls in the house (lol sounds like it) and SCREAMING full blast inside and out. WTF?
THIS! I have ear issues, as well, and can't use headphones or ear buds without making things worse. I live in a very similar building to OP (3 floors, 12 units total) and had a neighbour who used to leave her toddler (under 2) just sitting, screaming, in their entry way WITH THE DOOR OPEN! After several complaints, and finally an email to the landlord with a copy to a lawyer friend, they were evicted. No, I don't feel bad. I wasn't the only complainant, and I have the legal "right to peaceable enjoyment of the rented premises". (Quebec)
Load More Replies...The fact is that people have the right to the peaceful enjoyment of their property. It doesn't really matter if the family is naturally loud, the child is differently abled, or if they are bad parents. If the behavior doesn't change, they need to leave. After being evicted a few times they will either change the behavior if possible or learn that they need to find a living situation where their noise doesn't disturb others. The OP shouldn't feel guilty at all. Constant noise is a form of assault if it causes distress. It doesn't matter if it is intended that way or not. Once someone is informed that they are hurting others, if the behavior continues, they are deliberately harming others. And children, for better or worse, are the responsibility of their parents.
I live in a houseshare with someone who has absolutely no concept of quiet. He's a gamer and plays online and is constantly shouting and full on belly laughing down his mic to other people. He constantly slams doors (which is one of my absolute pet peeves) and he sings (really really badly) at the top of his voice. I really wanna complain about him. Only problem is, he's such a genuinely nice dude lol. I've tried pointing it out to him but he doesn't seems to get the point. I wouldn't normally care about the gaming shouting cos it usually stops around 9 in the week and 11 at the weekend. Problem is, sometimes I work night shifts. And his loudness is just not conducive to a good night's sleep. Maybe I should write a letter and post it under his door or something lol. It might feel less awkward then.
My little brother is like your houseshare partner. He's a gamer and can get very loud while playing. He says that it is just so exciting that he can't help it. His screaming is the main reason that I don't go to my parents' house a lot. I can't take the noise.
Load More Replies...Years ago, the apartment building across from me had a bunch of kids. They played outside all day every day, staying at their own building with an adult sitting out with them. I could work at home with the door open no problem. They made kid noises but not bad. A few years ago there were a few kids down the block out all day every day screaming bloody murder while running through everyone's yards. No supervision. It was ear piercing with doors and windows closed. I imagine normal kid noise would be tolerable to OP and neighbors. Kids don't have to be completely quiet, just tone it down to reasonable.
I’m in a similar boat, but not 100% as I work outside the home, but I do calls, VC, and streams at home. I have two neighbors with infants and a 3rd noise offender who loves to slam doors. Audio foam, thick curtains, and timing (streams late) seem to help. I can hear them from my bedroom, we are a fully brick apartment too, so the noise going through thick brick walls is worrisome. I kind of wish there were “adult only” apartment buildings separate from “family” apartment buildings. Things would be great.
There ARE adults-only apartments - at least in larger cities. Sometimes they're advertised as "senior" apartments, but as long as you're over 18 and there are no kids it's perfectly fine. That sounds (sorry) like what you're looking for.
Load More Replies...She's NTA, I have kids and I get they can be very noisy. Three boys three years apart, but I've never let them scream the house down for hours on end. Even if there was a medical issue, I'd be looking for help and support, trying to calm the situation- probably communicating to neighbours that there is an issue and we're trying to find solutions. Absolutely no excuse for excess noise in communal spaces either
my now ex step-daughter used to do the whole midnight screaming thing... it was very draining until we were told she was having 'night terrors' and looked into it a bit more. It wasn't long after that she was diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum - and sadly as soon as her mum discovered that she basically coached her to play up to it to get out sports at school (which she hated and her mum told her 'just say you're having a meltdown'') and my ex was actually quite pleased because it meant she could put a benefit claim in for her. Sad turn of events all round imo
I'm older, and I wonder when bad behavior became acceptable. When I was a kid in the '50s, screaming and yelling were dealt with on the spot.
Load More Replies...NTA. I'll be honest and say I wouldn't hesitate to call in this situation. But then I don't like kids and find them extremely irritating on the best of days. The noise kids make especially during tantrum is the worst part for me. I'm on the spectrum so I'm extra sensitive to noise and things. I'm not one to complain about other tenant noise but in this case I definitely would. I have neighbors in my condo with 3 kids who are quite loud but while annoying they're not interfering with my life too much so I'm ignoring it. That's not the case for OP
My son is severely autistic and he screams constantly when he's happy or having a meltdown. I explained to my neighbors before I moved in. They were very understanding. Yet a few weeks ago my son lost his teddy bear he does everything with. So a meltdown happened. My neighbors called the law twice. Fortunately the cop was very sympathetic
NTA. You're under no obligation to tolerate inconsiderate neighbors and their demon spawn.
NTA. Noise ordinances exist for a reason. If you want your child to be a human being when they grow up they need to follow the laws of society even at a young age. It sucks but clearly something is not right in that home.
A wellness check is a good idea. Social services can help the parents with the child. Especially if she has special needs and the parents don't speak english well so they have no way to seek help. But on the ops end, NTA. She has been put in a horrible situation and is doing what she can to live in it. It is up to the authorities on what happens next.
Yikes! I feel for you. If there have been multiple complaints and it's still happening, the landlord likely hasn't taken action. You are at least in my province under the residential tenancy act; to "peaceful and quiet enjoyment of your residence". As it sounds like nothing has changed, I would try to talk to the parents with the idea of working together to resolve this issue. Dont go in adversarily- you may be able 2 get some info like the child is disabled, the mother may feel overwhelmed, etc.etc and may need a family social worker. That being said in the end it's the landlords job and responsibility to deal with this to provide the tenants' peaceful enjoyment. Might need to give these parents an eviction notice to get their attention. I really feel for you. It seems a lot of people these days feel they dont have to consider other people.
If the parents speak a foreign language, is it possible that they do not know how to get medical help for their child? Someone who speaks their language may be able to have a conversation with them and get the child diagnosed. There could be many different causes of the child's outbursts, but the child is obviously not happy or comfortable, so somebody needs to get them some help.
Trust me, they all know how to get medical help. They're probably on Medicaid, and get more free medical help than anyone else.
Load More Replies...I had a problem with a neighbor and noise. My problem was loud music and talking at one in the morning. I also heard a dog barking and they seemed to enjoy having parties till all hours of the morning. I wasn't the only person having to put up with this nonsense. Another neighbor was being harassed for money so that the guy could buy beer. Turns out, the guy had allowed to young women to stay in his apartment and they locked him out of his own bedroom. They were the cause of all the noise. I filed a complaint and the girls were forced to leave. He left shortly after.
We had neighbors in the apartment above us that were noisy. I was incredible on how much noise their 4 year old made. The kid was severely neglected. I had worked with troubled kids & I decided to try something the one day. I put my music up loud the one day. The kid started pounding on the floor with his fist. He did that for 2 hours. It was loud. Now I knew there was something seriously wrong with the kid. One day CPS came to the home & took the kid. I told the worker about that & she called it environmental autism. The kid was so neglected that he just did not function normally anymore. When the family got evicted the new tenant moving upstairs accidentally dropped their couch down the flight of stairs. I was shocked. That didn't even make as much noise as what that kid used to make.
I was in a simliar situation and the parents were a*****s. It made me ill and I had to move out of my loved appartement. Even after 1,5 years I think of my happy life in the old appartement before that horrible family with two toddlers destroyed my peaceful life. But I have to move on, like everybody has to. Sometimes others are just ignorant as f**k.
I so sympathise with this. I’m moving house partially because of two neighbours whose kids scream like train whistles all day long and I can’t use my garden in Summer. I don’t know how the parents bear it but they seem totally unbothered by it. The ‘kids will be kids’ defence doesn’t wash with me - kids need to respect other people’s right to some peace. I live next door to a massive park too - no objection to kids letting go there, it’s what it’s there for - just don’t make me close all my doors and windows in Summer because your kids have no boundaries.
My wife & I got used to noise being a military family. Most of the noise our neighbors made in our small apartment building did not bother us but there seemed to always be a tenant who got upset with even the slightest noise from neighbors. Having migraines can really amplify sounds & vibrations. But if a kid is exceptionally noisy, what is actually going on with them? We had neighbors above us we called "the Animals". Certainly not humans. Their young child made so much noise, that it caused pictures to fall off the wall in our place. The family was nuts & one day CPS raided the home. Took the kid for a day & then brought him back. I asked the CPS worker what was wrong with the kid. Environmental autism. Caused by severe neglect. Come to find out this wasn't the only kid removed from their home. The family soon got evicted. When a new neighbor moved in, they accidentally dropped a couch down their stairs. It still did not make as much noise as the kid did.
So here's the thing that even I keep forgetting- The adults can be loud too, and in common areas (hallway), so they may either really not be seeing a problem, or they're inconsiderate jerks. Why did they move in at 10pm on 2 weeknights, loudly at that?
Can you get the other residents to sign a petition ? Then it can be sent to the landlord with not just one person complaining about them ?
When I was a toddler I was screaming whenever I wasn't eating or sleeping. After lots of doctor visits I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance and with the correct diet the screaming stopped. This was 30ish years ago so gluten stuff wasn't widely known. But my parents knew my screaming wasn't normal but it still took some time for them to be taken seriously since toddlers do scream and all "normal" reasons were ruled out.
This person is lucky that they are just a renter AND that there are noise restrictions in place. I've lived in a co-op apartment that I own for 14+ years - last year a gay couple moved in with three adopted children under the age of 5. The screaming and stomping (particularly from the oldest child) is nonstop, starting at 6:30 AM and ending at 9 PM. I've written them a letter (they wrote me a nasty one back that was full of lies), tried mediation (they refused), recorded them, been in touch with the board multiple times... and no one will help. Everyone in the building can hear them screaming at each other and at their kids - but I am the only person who lives below them. I'm going to be putting my place on the market as soon as I can :(
Some parents just don't care. There was a family in my apt complex that let their kids out to run up and down the halls and stairs, screaming their lungs out every day, morning, noon, and night. The parents just didn't care, and the office is so busy with other stuff, that they did nothing. My dude had to always watch tv in the living room with headphones on all the time. We could never open the windows. They eventually moved, and I'm so happy!
I rented a guest house that was attached to the main house where the landlords lived. They had a 3 year old boy. One time he started screaming at the top of his lungs and it lasted for 3 days. I thought something happened to him, like being sick or whatever. When it finally stopped I ran into the landlord outside one day and asked if he was feeling better. He said the kid is fine, and then asked, "why?" Ughhhhhh.
There may be something going on here beyond tantrums. The kid may have a condition the parents don't recognize or don't have the means to deal with. Your next call might be to Child Protective Services. Make clear that your concern is about the child's welfare, not the noise. The noise is just the symptom. Give the phone numbers of neighbors who will verify what you're hearing. (Get the consent of these neighbors in advance.) If there is a health problem, physical or mental, then you are helping the child. If not, you are helping the parents to realize that this issue is no longer one just confined to the building. I doubt that the parents are really that indifferent to the problem. After all, they can hear the kid even louder than you can and they're there all day.
Nope NTA, it's interfering with you ability to live and make a living. It's not your kid or your responsibility
The OP said the family does not speak English, and is from a different country/culture. Childraising practices can differ wildly. It would not surprise me that ignoring a child and allowing them to scream is cultural. I've seen some horribly misbehaving children (by my American standards), being completely ignored by their parents, who carry on as if oblivious to the noise. Frankly, I've seen more than a few American parents who do the same. I can't imagine the frustration of a young child, trying to get their parents attention. It might be well worth the effort to find a translator who can describe the problem to the offending neighbors, and also the possible consequences of leaving their child to scream .
So people should be allowed to be as noisy as they want all hours of the day or night? Get real.
Load More Replies...I grew up in an apartment building with no yard, so kids can learn to behave. Tantrums were not tolerated when I was a kid. This whole "spectrum" stuff is just an excuse to some people to allow their kids to act out. You have a right to "quiet enjoyment" of your apartment, and that doesn't mean just noise.
It's unlikely anything is wrong and the parents may just be struggling to parent, and their child is... a lively one. Or perhaps on the autistic spectrum (tantrums were common when I was a child, I'm sorry to my parents) but still... I'd get in touch with CPS just in case... chances are the kid may be acting up for reasons that are secretive behind closed doors. :/ I Think it would be wrong, however, to risk getting them evicted. life is hard for a lot of people atm, with the (mostly worldwide) housing market and costs of living in shambles.
That tough don’t know what the answer is here. I’m surprised though that for work calls at least NC headphones aren’t an option. The h just Wi-Fi to your lap top am yiu can make calls using then
NC does not keep your mic from picking up unwanted sounds
Load More Replies...No she isn't. There's a noise ordinance and the loud neighbors have had 2 warnings. Report their asses to management. They are disrupting a number of others renters as well. Break the rules and suffer the consequences in an apartment complex. I hope management kicks them out.
Load More Replies...What is with the "just get noise cancelling earphones." or "Get earplugs."? It's not good for your ears to constantly have stuff shoved in them. Especially to sleep at night. I did that before and woke up with a terribly painful earache. Plus, they don't work as well as you'd think. Plus, it's not safe when you have to be able to wake up to fire alarms if necessary. Anyhoo. It's not normal that a child is constantly that upset. Yeah, yeah parenting is hard. Been there, done that. But isn't a kid supposed to be generally happy much of the time? I know the OP states she hears the kid all the time, but also mentions the parents shout, too, but doesn't emphasize this as much as the kid. If I heard that much shouting and screaming all the time that it warrants multiple calls to mgmt, AND it's late at night when pre-schoolers should be long in bed, in the hallway, I would definitely make a call for a wellness check. I've done this for similar reasons.
I want to add, when you call for a wellness check you call non-emergency police (unless it sounds like the child is in immediate danger or something is terribly wrong.). Usually, if nothing is found to be wrong, and it's just a loud kid who's having tantrums, nothing else is done. Police are not the ones to apprehend kids. They can offer parents contacts for support services and recommendations. That's about it. If something is very wrong then they can call a CPS social worker to investigate the situation further.
Load More Replies...The fact OP says the conversations in the hall are loud, I'd assume (and I'm aware I'm just assuming here) that they are a naturally loud family. My husband said as a child he remembers learning how to manage his vocal levels as he is naturally loud. Their idea of quiet clearly doesn't match that of others in the building. Either way I feel for the neighbours. I live in an apartment and have a toddler but am fortunate in that he's actually pretty quiet. I do however agree with a poster that this isn't OP's problem, it's the landlord's issue to deal with. They shouldn't feel guilty for speaking up (excuse the pun) to the landlord.
I get ear infections easily, noise cancelling headphones or earplugs are not an option for me. I hate when people suggest that for that reason as well as why should I have to accomodate your badly behaved child? Teach the child they have neighbors, take them to parks, get them exercise, treat them well. Don't just let them shriek 24/7! We have noisy kids next door at our townhome and although I have headphones and white noise machines in every room I can STILL hear them stomping, rolling bowling balls in the house (lol sounds like it) and SCREAMING full blast inside and out. WTF?
THIS! I have ear issues, as well, and can't use headphones or ear buds without making things worse. I live in a very similar building to OP (3 floors, 12 units total) and had a neighbour who used to leave her toddler (under 2) just sitting, screaming, in their entry way WITH THE DOOR OPEN! After several complaints, and finally an email to the landlord with a copy to a lawyer friend, they were evicted. No, I don't feel bad. I wasn't the only complainant, and I have the legal "right to peaceable enjoyment of the rented premises". (Quebec)
Load More Replies...The fact is that people have the right to the peaceful enjoyment of their property. It doesn't really matter if the family is naturally loud, the child is differently abled, or if they are bad parents. If the behavior doesn't change, they need to leave. After being evicted a few times they will either change the behavior if possible or learn that they need to find a living situation where their noise doesn't disturb others. The OP shouldn't feel guilty at all. Constant noise is a form of assault if it causes distress. It doesn't matter if it is intended that way or not. Once someone is informed that they are hurting others, if the behavior continues, they are deliberately harming others. And children, for better or worse, are the responsibility of their parents.
I live in a houseshare with someone who has absolutely no concept of quiet. He's a gamer and plays online and is constantly shouting and full on belly laughing down his mic to other people. He constantly slams doors (which is one of my absolute pet peeves) and he sings (really really badly) at the top of his voice. I really wanna complain about him. Only problem is, he's such a genuinely nice dude lol. I've tried pointing it out to him but he doesn't seems to get the point. I wouldn't normally care about the gaming shouting cos it usually stops around 9 in the week and 11 at the weekend. Problem is, sometimes I work night shifts. And his loudness is just not conducive to a good night's sleep. Maybe I should write a letter and post it under his door or something lol. It might feel less awkward then.
My little brother is like your houseshare partner. He's a gamer and can get very loud while playing. He says that it is just so exciting that he can't help it. His screaming is the main reason that I don't go to my parents' house a lot. I can't take the noise.
Load More Replies...Years ago, the apartment building across from me had a bunch of kids. They played outside all day every day, staying at their own building with an adult sitting out with them. I could work at home with the door open no problem. They made kid noises but not bad. A few years ago there were a few kids down the block out all day every day screaming bloody murder while running through everyone's yards. No supervision. It was ear piercing with doors and windows closed. I imagine normal kid noise would be tolerable to OP and neighbors. Kids don't have to be completely quiet, just tone it down to reasonable.
I’m in a similar boat, but not 100% as I work outside the home, but I do calls, VC, and streams at home. I have two neighbors with infants and a 3rd noise offender who loves to slam doors. Audio foam, thick curtains, and timing (streams late) seem to help. I can hear them from my bedroom, we are a fully brick apartment too, so the noise going through thick brick walls is worrisome. I kind of wish there were “adult only” apartment buildings separate from “family” apartment buildings. Things would be great.
There ARE adults-only apartments - at least in larger cities. Sometimes they're advertised as "senior" apartments, but as long as you're over 18 and there are no kids it's perfectly fine. That sounds (sorry) like what you're looking for.
Load More Replies...She's NTA, I have kids and I get they can be very noisy. Three boys three years apart, but I've never let them scream the house down for hours on end. Even if there was a medical issue, I'd be looking for help and support, trying to calm the situation- probably communicating to neighbours that there is an issue and we're trying to find solutions. Absolutely no excuse for excess noise in communal spaces either
my now ex step-daughter used to do the whole midnight screaming thing... it was very draining until we were told she was having 'night terrors' and looked into it a bit more. It wasn't long after that she was diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum - and sadly as soon as her mum discovered that she basically coached her to play up to it to get out sports at school (which she hated and her mum told her 'just say you're having a meltdown'') and my ex was actually quite pleased because it meant she could put a benefit claim in for her. Sad turn of events all round imo
I'm older, and I wonder when bad behavior became acceptable. When I was a kid in the '50s, screaming and yelling were dealt with on the spot.
Load More Replies...NTA. I'll be honest and say I wouldn't hesitate to call in this situation. But then I don't like kids and find them extremely irritating on the best of days. The noise kids make especially during tantrum is the worst part for me. I'm on the spectrum so I'm extra sensitive to noise and things. I'm not one to complain about other tenant noise but in this case I definitely would. I have neighbors in my condo with 3 kids who are quite loud but while annoying they're not interfering with my life too much so I'm ignoring it. That's not the case for OP
My son is severely autistic and he screams constantly when he's happy or having a meltdown. I explained to my neighbors before I moved in. They were very understanding. Yet a few weeks ago my son lost his teddy bear he does everything with. So a meltdown happened. My neighbors called the law twice. Fortunately the cop was very sympathetic
NTA. You're under no obligation to tolerate inconsiderate neighbors and their demon spawn.
NTA. Noise ordinances exist for a reason. If you want your child to be a human being when they grow up they need to follow the laws of society even at a young age. It sucks but clearly something is not right in that home.
A wellness check is a good idea. Social services can help the parents with the child. Especially if she has special needs and the parents don't speak english well so they have no way to seek help. But on the ops end, NTA. She has been put in a horrible situation and is doing what she can to live in it. It is up to the authorities on what happens next.
Yikes! I feel for you. If there have been multiple complaints and it's still happening, the landlord likely hasn't taken action. You are at least in my province under the residential tenancy act; to "peaceful and quiet enjoyment of your residence". As it sounds like nothing has changed, I would try to talk to the parents with the idea of working together to resolve this issue. Dont go in adversarily- you may be able 2 get some info like the child is disabled, the mother may feel overwhelmed, etc.etc and may need a family social worker. That being said in the end it's the landlords job and responsibility to deal with this to provide the tenants' peaceful enjoyment. Might need to give these parents an eviction notice to get their attention. I really feel for you. It seems a lot of people these days feel they dont have to consider other people.
If the parents speak a foreign language, is it possible that they do not know how to get medical help for their child? Someone who speaks their language may be able to have a conversation with them and get the child diagnosed. There could be many different causes of the child's outbursts, but the child is obviously not happy or comfortable, so somebody needs to get them some help.
Trust me, they all know how to get medical help. They're probably on Medicaid, and get more free medical help than anyone else.
Load More Replies...I had a problem with a neighbor and noise. My problem was loud music and talking at one in the morning. I also heard a dog barking and they seemed to enjoy having parties till all hours of the morning. I wasn't the only person having to put up with this nonsense. Another neighbor was being harassed for money so that the guy could buy beer. Turns out, the guy had allowed to young women to stay in his apartment and they locked him out of his own bedroom. They were the cause of all the noise. I filed a complaint and the girls were forced to leave. He left shortly after.
We had neighbors in the apartment above us that were noisy. I was incredible on how much noise their 4 year old made. The kid was severely neglected. I had worked with troubled kids & I decided to try something the one day. I put my music up loud the one day. The kid started pounding on the floor with his fist. He did that for 2 hours. It was loud. Now I knew there was something seriously wrong with the kid. One day CPS came to the home & took the kid. I told the worker about that & she called it environmental autism. The kid was so neglected that he just did not function normally anymore. When the family got evicted the new tenant moving upstairs accidentally dropped their couch down the flight of stairs. I was shocked. That didn't even make as much noise as what that kid used to make.
I was in a simliar situation and the parents were a*****s. It made me ill and I had to move out of my loved appartement. Even after 1,5 years I think of my happy life in the old appartement before that horrible family with two toddlers destroyed my peaceful life. But I have to move on, like everybody has to. Sometimes others are just ignorant as f**k.
I so sympathise with this. I’m moving house partially because of two neighbours whose kids scream like train whistles all day long and I can’t use my garden in Summer. I don’t know how the parents bear it but they seem totally unbothered by it. The ‘kids will be kids’ defence doesn’t wash with me - kids need to respect other people’s right to some peace. I live next door to a massive park too - no objection to kids letting go there, it’s what it’s there for - just don’t make me close all my doors and windows in Summer because your kids have no boundaries.
My wife & I got used to noise being a military family. Most of the noise our neighbors made in our small apartment building did not bother us but there seemed to always be a tenant who got upset with even the slightest noise from neighbors. Having migraines can really amplify sounds & vibrations. But if a kid is exceptionally noisy, what is actually going on with them? We had neighbors above us we called "the Animals". Certainly not humans. Their young child made so much noise, that it caused pictures to fall off the wall in our place. The family was nuts & one day CPS raided the home. Took the kid for a day & then brought him back. I asked the CPS worker what was wrong with the kid. Environmental autism. Caused by severe neglect. Come to find out this wasn't the only kid removed from their home. The family soon got evicted. When a new neighbor moved in, they accidentally dropped a couch down their stairs. It still did not make as much noise as the kid did.
So here's the thing that even I keep forgetting- The adults can be loud too, and in common areas (hallway), so they may either really not be seeing a problem, or they're inconsiderate jerks. Why did they move in at 10pm on 2 weeknights, loudly at that?
Can you get the other residents to sign a petition ? Then it can be sent to the landlord with not just one person complaining about them ?
When I was a toddler I was screaming whenever I wasn't eating or sleeping. After lots of doctor visits I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance and with the correct diet the screaming stopped. This was 30ish years ago so gluten stuff wasn't widely known. But my parents knew my screaming wasn't normal but it still took some time for them to be taken seriously since toddlers do scream and all "normal" reasons were ruled out.
This person is lucky that they are just a renter AND that there are noise restrictions in place. I've lived in a co-op apartment that I own for 14+ years - last year a gay couple moved in with three adopted children under the age of 5. The screaming and stomping (particularly from the oldest child) is nonstop, starting at 6:30 AM and ending at 9 PM. I've written them a letter (they wrote me a nasty one back that was full of lies), tried mediation (they refused), recorded them, been in touch with the board multiple times... and no one will help. Everyone in the building can hear them screaming at each other and at their kids - but I am the only person who lives below them. I'm going to be putting my place on the market as soon as I can :(
Some parents just don't care. There was a family in my apt complex that let their kids out to run up and down the halls and stairs, screaming their lungs out every day, morning, noon, and night. The parents just didn't care, and the office is so busy with other stuff, that they did nothing. My dude had to always watch tv in the living room with headphones on all the time. We could never open the windows. They eventually moved, and I'm so happy!
I rented a guest house that was attached to the main house where the landlords lived. They had a 3 year old boy. One time he started screaming at the top of his lungs and it lasted for 3 days. I thought something happened to him, like being sick or whatever. When it finally stopped I ran into the landlord outside one day and asked if he was feeling better. He said the kid is fine, and then asked, "why?" Ughhhhhh.
There may be something going on here beyond tantrums. The kid may have a condition the parents don't recognize or don't have the means to deal with. Your next call might be to Child Protective Services. Make clear that your concern is about the child's welfare, not the noise. The noise is just the symptom. Give the phone numbers of neighbors who will verify what you're hearing. (Get the consent of these neighbors in advance.) If there is a health problem, physical or mental, then you are helping the child. If not, you are helping the parents to realize that this issue is no longer one just confined to the building. I doubt that the parents are really that indifferent to the problem. After all, they can hear the kid even louder than you can and they're there all day.
Nope NTA, it's interfering with you ability to live and make a living. It's not your kid or your responsibility
The OP said the family does not speak English, and is from a different country/culture. Childraising practices can differ wildly. It would not surprise me that ignoring a child and allowing them to scream is cultural. I've seen some horribly misbehaving children (by my American standards), being completely ignored by their parents, who carry on as if oblivious to the noise. Frankly, I've seen more than a few American parents who do the same. I can't imagine the frustration of a young child, trying to get their parents attention. It might be well worth the effort to find a translator who can describe the problem to the offending neighbors, and also the possible consequences of leaving their child to scream .
So people should be allowed to be as noisy as they want all hours of the day or night? Get real.
Load More Replies...I grew up in an apartment building with no yard, so kids can learn to behave. Tantrums were not tolerated when I was a kid. This whole "spectrum" stuff is just an excuse to some people to allow their kids to act out. You have a right to "quiet enjoyment" of your apartment, and that doesn't mean just noise.
It's unlikely anything is wrong and the parents may just be struggling to parent, and their child is... a lively one. Or perhaps on the autistic spectrum (tantrums were common when I was a child, I'm sorry to my parents) but still... I'd get in touch with CPS just in case... chances are the kid may be acting up for reasons that are secretive behind closed doors. :/ I Think it would be wrong, however, to risk getting them evicted. life is hard for a lot of people atm, with the (mostly worldwide) housing market and costs of living in shambles.
That tough don’t know what the answer is here. I’m surprised though that for work calls at least NC headphones aren’t an option. The h just Wi-Fi to your lap top am yiu can make calls using then
NC does not keep your mic from picking up unwanted sounds
Load More Replies...No she isn't. There's a noise ordinance and the loud neighbors have had 2 warnings. Report their asses to management. They are disrupting a number of others renters as well. Break the rules and suffer the consequences in an apartment complex. I hope management kicks them out.
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