“AITA For Being Upset That My Ex-Husband Fed Our Vegan Daughter Chicken McNuggets”
Children whose parents are divorced sometimes could be living two separate lives depending on which parent they are visiting at that period of time. One might be stricter than the other, one of the parents might have more money and allow more, or they might have different outlooks on life that influence daily decisions.
If parents can’t agree on the same way to bring up their kids, they should at least let the other parent know what values and habits they are instilling in their kids. But even that is too much to ask in some cases, like for Reddit user veggiecoparent who thought they were raising their daughter vegan but found out through a tantrum that her ex-husband was giving her chicken nuggets.
More info: Reddit
Mom wasn’t expecting her vegan daughter to throw a lengthy tantrum when she saw a McDonald’s, as she wasn’t aware she ate meat
Image credits: Rob Briscoe (not the actual image)
The Original Poster (OP) is a mother who divorced her husband over a year before the story in the post took place. She found out that he was cheating on her, so they parted ways, but they still need to keep in touch as they have a daughter together. Even though the man wasn’t a very good husband, the mom describes him as a loving dad.
The ex-husband is a vegan and when the OP moved in with him, he educated the woman about how animal-based food was made and convinced her to be vegan too. Because they were both vegan when they had their daughter, it was natural for them to give her the same food they both ate.
The issue is that it seems the dad changed his mind about it but didn’t bother to tell his wife. And the OP found it out in a very unpleasant way.
She picked up their daughter, who was about 8 years old at the time, from her dad’s house at dinner time, so she was hungry. The girl saw McDonald’s through the window and had a meltdown over chicken nuggets.
The woman was raising her daughter vegan as her husband had introduced this diet to her so it was natural to feed their daughter the same
Image credits: u/veggiecoparent
But the mom found out that the dad had been giving her chicken nuggets from McDonald’s when the girl threw a fit after not getting them from her mom
Image credits: u/veggiecoparent
She was so enraged that she was blowing snot bubbles and crying the whole time she was eating her soup. The mom felt sorry for her kid but she didn’t want to give her what she wanted because that could have been interpreted as a reward for the tantrum.
The conflict was so intense that the next morning, the girl asked her mom if she hated her for eating meat. This is the part where a lot of people misinterpreted the mom’s feelings, thinking that she didn’t want her child to eat meat. The OP assured her daughter several times that she really didn’t hate her, it’s just that she was surprised as for the past 8 years she hadn’t craved it.
Image credits: u/veggiecoparent
Image credits: Nathan (not the actual image)
People who are vegan are often seen as annoying because they are considered to be picky eaters, hard to accommodate and too much to handle because of their views. But vegan parents who raise their children vegan get criticized even more.
Mostly non-vegans think that depriving children from animal-derived food is unhealthy, might make them grow shorter and weaker because they might not get all the nutrients a growing organism needs.
It’s not that she was disappointed or mad about the fact her daughter wanted meat, but she just was simply surprised about the change
Image credits: u/veggiecoparent
People talk about a lot of things, so let’s look at what scientists have found. Research conducted by Polish scientists showed that children on vegan diets had healthier hearts and less cholesterol, although it was evident that vegan children have lower levels of vitamin B12, calcium, vitamin D and iron. They also had about 5 percent lower bone mineral and on average they were 3 centimeters (1.18 inches) shorter than children with an omnivorous diet.
We can see that the concern people have is founded, but everyone raises their children how they think it’s best and because the parents are probably vegans too, they are aware of these concerns.
What she was mad about was her ex-husband not saying anything and that out of all the choices he could have gone for, he took their daughter to McDonald’s
Image credits: u/veggiecoparent
The stereotype surrounding people following vegan diets is that they like to talk about their lifestyle too much and make other people embrace it as well. But this doesn’t apply to the OP because she had no problem with her daughter eating meat – the problem was that she wasn’t aware of it.
Furthermore, McDonald’s isn’t known for its food quality, so if the dad wanted to introduce meat to their daughter’s diet, why choose chicken nuggets? Especially knowing that the girl’s grandad is a hunter and can cook the meat himself.
Not only that, but after having a meat-free diet, you should be careful introducing it into your meals as your digestive system might become sensitive for a while.
Another thing the OP was frustrated about is that her ex-husband didn’t even allow her to eat Oreos when she was pregnant and now he didn’t mind fast food
Image credits: u/veggiecoparent
When she confronted her ex-husband about it, his excuse for not telling her about this change was that he knew she would overreact. It’s funny that this was his assumption when the OP didn’t start a vegan diet until he convinced her to.
Also, the woman describes her ex-husband as a health freak who made her feel guilty for eating Oreos when she had a craving while she was pregnant, so now she can’t wrap her head around him feeding their daughter McDonald’s.
But the main problem the woman had was that the dad took this decision on his own and didn’t even bother to mention anything to her
Image credits: u/veggiecoparent
Image credits: JBLM MWR (not the actual image)
Raising their child vegan was both of the parents’ decision and the dad just decided that their daughter can have meat, which is not a big deal, but it would have been nice to have a heads-up and not find out about the change in a puddle of your child’s tears.
Maybe you think otherwise and believe that the mom made a big deal out of something that is not that important? Many people in the comments were on the mom’s side as they understood that this wasn’t about the diet itself but about communication, but others focused on the fact that the mom shouldn’t force veganism on her daughter. Let us know who you agree with in the comments!
People mainly were on the mom’s side but some of them were dubious if a vegan diet is good for a growing child
These people calling her TA obviously haven't read any of the redditor comments. The OP responds several times that she'd be fine if her daughter decides to eat meat. However, those who haven't eaten animal proteins before, or haven't eaten it in a long time, can get serious, painful stomach upsets if suddenly introduced to it. She said that, if her daughter was going to start eating meat, she would have rather it had been healthier than chicken nuggets- like the dishes her parents make. She didn't reward her daughter's tantrum, because you shouldn't encourage temper tantrums. That's just good parenting? She also made it clear to the daughter that it was okay, but that her behaviour (the tantrum) was bad. Also, the husband is the one who made the wife vegan and insisted on nothing but very healthy food- then turns around and feeds their daughter junkfood. She said that she just wished that the father discussed this with her, or at least told her. That's reasonable. NTA, in the least.
100% agree!! I worked as a pediatric nurse for years and if child/adult has been vegan, they have to take it slowly with reintroducing meat. The ex was a controlling jerk who dictated what the OP ate while pregnant and was the one who originally was a vegan. I think that since his new partner has 3 kids that are used to eating Mickey Ds, he’s letting his daughter and he should have respected her mother know as well as start the child out slowly for her body to adjust. For someone who threw a hissy fit because his pregnant wife didn’t get organic bananas, he is such a HYPOCRITE!
Load More Replies...
Are people seriously just glossing over the fact that the OP wasn't vegan but after moving in and marrying that guy, she was made to go vegan and raise their kid to be vegan until he divorced her and lets the kid eat whatever they want?? Like no s**t she's upset, if the dad never told the mom that he was no longer vegan and changed their kids diet as well without letting her know, he's the only a*****e in this situation. What a selfish prick to not inform the other parent of a pretty big dietary change, and also made that decision without her input
NTA. There’s no problem with being vegan or vegetarian but if your ex-husband allowed her to eat meat then he should’ve told you. It was good of you to not reward her temper tantrum
These people calling her TA obviously haven't read any of the redditor comments. The OP responds several times that she'd be fine if her daughter decides to eat meat. However, those who haven't eaten animal proteins before, or haven't eaten it in a long time, can get serious, painful stomach upsets if suddenly introduced to it. She said that, if her daughter was going to start eating meat, she would have rather it had been healthier than chicken nuggets- like the dishes her parents make. She didn't reward her daughter's tantrum, because you shouldn't encourage temper tantrums. That's just good parenting? She also made it clear to the daughter that it was okay, but that her behaviour (the tantrum) was bad. Also, the husband is the one who made the wife vegan and insisted on nothing but very healthy food- then turns around and feeds their daughter junkfood. She said that she just wished that the father discussed this with her, or at least told her. That's reasonable. NTA, in the least.
100% agree!! I worked as a pediatric nurse for years and if child/adult has been vegan, they have to take it slowly with reintroducing meat. The ex was a controlling jerk who dictated what the OP ate while pregnant and was the one who originally was a vegan. I think that since his new partner has 3 kids that are used to eating Mickey Ds, he’s letting his daughter and he should have respected her mother know as well as start the child out slowly for her body to adjust. For someone who threw a hissy fit because his pregnant wife didn’t get organic bananas, he is such a HYPOCRITE!
Load More Replies... Are people seriously just glossing over the fact that the OP wasn't vegan but after moving in and marrying that guy, she was made to go vegan and raise their kid to be vegan until he divorced her and lets the kid eat whatever they want?? Like no s**t she's upset, if the dad never told the mom that he was no longer vegan and changed their kids diet as well without letting her know, he's the only a*****e in this situation. What a selfish prick to not inform the other parent of a pretty big dietary change, and also made that decision without her input
NTA. There’s no problem with being vegan or vegetarian but if your ex-husband allowed her to eat meat then he should’ve told you. It was good of you to not reward her temper tantrum
55
108