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Twitter Thread Revealing 17 Tips On How To Be A First-Class Father Goes Viral With Over 127K Likes
Interview With Author
Everyone is aware of how hard it is to raise a child, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. Not that long ago, you were running around the streets, feeling all carefree, knowing that there was a whole world ahead of you – yet, here you are, already taking care of another human being.
No matter how prepared you think you are, parenthood is challenging, and not that many people can proudly say that they’ve managed to master this tricky process. Folks have developed all sorts of traumas related to their parents or upbringing. A toxic environment, berating atmosphere and constant criticism – all these things are only a tiny portion of what some children happened to go through due to the lack of compassion their parents were able to offer.
However, this particular story is very different and is based on a parent who raised his kid in an exceptionally wholesome and understanding environment. This online user took it to Twitter to celebrate her late father and, perhaps, offer some advice to those who are struggling. The thread received over 127.6K likes and was showered with comments that praised the woman for being so open about the connection she had with her dad.
More info: Twitter
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Parenthood is a tough thing, and sometimes all we need is a little advice
Image credits: Giuseppe Milo (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda has managed to reach out to Tasha, the author of this heartwarming thread: “my name is Tasha Kaminsky. I live in St. Louis, MO with my husband, dog, and two cats. I’m a non-profit fundraiser. I’m the youngest of four children. I have an older sister and two older brothers (though one of them passed away in 2018). I have loads of nieces and nephews and I’m very grateful for that.”
Woman shares her late father’s healthy parenting choices and goes viral on Twitter
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Despite the fact that most of us have this love-hate relationship with people giving unsolicited advice, sometimes hearing things out could greatly impact our life – especially if someone’s looking to better their parenting techniques. The author began her thread by addressing the current and future fathers. She revealed that her dad was a wonderful parent and that she would like to share some of the parenting choices he made throughout his life.
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
The very first thing she mentioned was that her father never “policed” her sexuality. He never commented on her appearance, never demanded that she change clothes or take her makeup off. Moreover, he never interfered with her dating life, nor did he like to joke about having to use violence against her boyfriends like many overprotective dads do. The author’s dad also recognized how tough and dangerous it is to be a woman, and even helped her to understand what sexualization is when she was too young to notice it.
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
The man was also a proud feminist and a LGBTQ+ supporter, which essentially allowed the OP to understand that she’d be accepted and adored no matter what. He made sure to travel with her when he was working, he encouraged and supported her academic performance, yet he never scolded or pushed her into doing it well. Besides, her beloved father also stood by her when she was diagnosed with a learning disability.
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
BP asked Tasha to reveal what inspired her to make this thread, to which she said: “honestly, I was looking at pictures of a Purity Ball, like one of those Christian gatherings where fathers give their daughters promise rings, and daughters swear they won’t have sex before marriage and I thought to myself, wow, I am very lucky I never had to do anything like that. And then I thought that I was very lucky my dad never bought into any of that purity culture stuff. And then I decided to share a bit about how great my dad is.”
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
We then asked the author to share her opinion on why so many fathers struggle to find that connection with their daughters: “I think patriarchal society sets men and women up to have unhealthy expectations of one another. Part of the patriarchy is this idea of what it means to be a man and what masculinity is but unfortunately the masculinity that many men are aiming for is toxic. What I mean by that is men are told that in order to be men they must position themselves in a certain way with women and their families. So much of masculinity is scripted and performative. Real relationships are nimble, flexible, and rooted in respect, not performance. I think many fathers and daughters feel beholden to the script society has written for them but it leaves no room for them to express themselves to one another in a meaningful way and that places stress on the relationship.”
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
And lastly, we wondered whether there is something that Tasha would like to say to men that don’t have such a strong and healthy bond with their daughters, to which the woman replied with: “I will never know what it’s like to be the father of a daughter however, I do know what it’s like to be the daughter of an excellent father. I recommend that fathers emphasize trust and safety in their relationships with their daughters. That means no violence or threats of violence.”
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
Image credits: tashakaminsky
“That means keeping your word when you tell your daughter you are going to do something. That means truly seeing your daughter as her own person deserving of respect and an existence independent of her father. Recognizing your daughter’s personhood as opposed to considering her an extension of yourself is mandatory.”
Fellow Twitter users found this thread to be helpful and even emotional
Image credits: beerjamin
Image credits: ItsKingVic
Image credits: marina_a_aria
Image credits: MattMcRee
Image credits: Death_Bow
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What do you think ?
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
This thread made me cry. What a beautiful relationship. My dad left when I was 6 months old and I’ve never had another real father figure. This sounds so lovely and wholesome :) We all deserve great dads like this.
Ace Girl 3 years ago
I am so sorry to hear about that. His loss, he is really missing out on how awesome his daughter is.
Load More Replies...
Carol Emory 3 years ago
My Dad died the year before the Pandemic hit. The best thing I remember of him was no matter how hard he worked, Sunday morning was his time to shine in the kitchen making coffee cake, waffles, pancakes..whatever he thought us kids would want for breakfast. I remember long drives to Mt Rainier and stopping at little mom and pop diners along the way. I remember him taking us camping in Canada and my sister and I negotiating who was going to drive my Dad to the hospital if his efforts to photograph a moose eating at the side of the road went terribly wrong. I remember him getting stuck in the tube of the waterslide when he took us to a water park in Easter Washington. I remember walking on fallen Redwoods in northern California while my Dad tried to guestimate how tall the tree would have been. I loved hanging out with my Dad. Every girl should experience one on one time with their father. Spend time with your daughters before it's too late.
Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
I was happy to see my own parenting reflected here - and a little challenged. My kid is 13, so all the dating/relationship is yet to come. I'm gonna have to try to be as awesome as OP's dad.
chiizu !! 3 years ago (edited)
13yo here. my father was unfortunately not like most of the things in this list. he definitely did a lot of things that i would have been a lot better off without, but knowing that other parents do treat their kids right makes me incredibly happy. it's obvious you're trying your best to take care of your child and make sure they feel loved- and i think you're doing wonderfully. thank you for being a good parent :) (i will delete this comment if it feels too personal / makes you uncomfortable)
Load More Replies... Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago (edited)
This girls view is one sided. Let's hear from her when she has her own teenager and she's on the other side of this story. I'm betting her father left all the tough parenting to her mother. I'm not saying what her father did was wrong, I'm just saying she's skipping over the parts with all the teenage bullcrap that every parent has to deal with.
Bisexual Tiger 🇺🇦 3 years ago
i'm fairly sure he disciplined her, but in a way that lets her know that she's still safe and loved, but needs to know her responsibilities?
Load More Replies...
Katherine Boag 3 years ago
My dad made a lot of mistakes but i am eternally grateful that he modelled respectful behaviour towards women while I was growing up.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
The best thing my father ever did for me was die. I wish to god he'd been a father worth missing. :(
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
This thread made me cry. What a beautiful relationship. My dad left when I was 6 months old and I’ve never had another real father figure. This sounds so lovely and wholesome :) We all deserve great dads like this.
Ace Girl 3 years ago
I am so sorry to hear about that. His loss, he is really missing out on how awesome his daughter is.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 3 years ago
My Dad died the year before the Pandemic hit. The best thing I remember of him was no matter how hard he worked, Sunday morning was his time to shine in the kitchen making coffee cake, waffles, pancakes..whatever he thought us kids would want for breakfast. I remember long drives to Mt Rainier and stopping at little mom and pop diners along the way. I remember him taking us camping in Canada and my sister and I negotiating who was going to drive my Dad to the hospital if his efforts to photograph a moose eating at the side of the road went terribly wrong. I remember him getting stuck in the tube of the waterslide when he took us to a water park in Easter Washington. I remember walking on fallen Redwoods in northern California while my Dad tried to guestimate how tall the tree would have been. I loved hanging out with my Dad. Every girl should experience one on one time with their father. Spend time with your daughters before it's too late.
Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
I was happy to see my own parenting reflected here - and a little challenged. My kid is 13, so all the dating/relationship is yet to come. I'm gonna have to try to be as awesome as OP's dad.
chiizu !! 3 years ago (edited)
13yo here. my father was unfortunately not like most of the things in this list. he definitely did a lot of things that i would have been a lot better off without, but knowing that other parents do treat their kids right makes me incredibly happy. it's obvious you're trying your best to take care of your child and make sure they feel loved- and i think you're doing wonderfully. thank you for being a good parent :) (i will delete this comment if it feels too personal / makes you uncomfortable)
Load More Replies... Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago (edited)
This girls view is one sided. Let's hear from her when she has her own teenager and she's on the other side of this story. I'm betting her father left all the tough parenting to her mother. I'm not saying what her father did was wrong, I'm just saying she's skipping over the parts with all the teenage bullcrap that every parent has to deal with.
Bisexual Tiger 🇺🇦 3 years ago
i'm fairly sure he disciplined her, but in a way that lets her know that she's still safe and loved, but needs to know her responsibilities?
Load More Replies... Katherine Boag 3 years ago
My dad made a lot of mistakes but i am eternally grateful that he modelled respectful behaviour towards women while I was growing up.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
The best thing my father ever did for me was die. I wish to god he'd been a father worth missing. :(
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