Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

‘Hardcore Vegan’ Thinks She Can Shame Everyone At BBQ, Gets A Reality Check That Drives Her Mad
‘Hardcore Vegan’ Thinks She Can Shame Everyone At BBQ, Gets A Reality Check That Drives Her Mad
143

‘Hardcore Vegan’ Thinks She Can Shame Everyone At BBQ, Gets A Reality Check That Drives Her Mad

24

ADVERTISEMENT

Healthy eating and nutrition are very sensitive topics, and nearly everyone seems to have an opinion on them. If you want to change someone’s mind about embracing a healthier diet, you have to be respectful and see them as your equal. A holier-than-thou attitude and insults will only drive the other person away. Besides, nobody wants to be angrily talked at during a social event or family gathering.

Internet user u/IFeelBad95 asked the AITA online group for a verdict on whether they were in the wrong for leaving their vegan sister-in-law ‘Erin’ out of the family barbeque. The reason? The woman’s incredibly aggressive attitude and non-stop shaming of her relatives. Scroll down for the full story, two very important updates, and to see how the net reacted to the spot of family drama. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from them.

RELATED:

    A good rule of thumb is to avoid intentionally causing a scene at family get-togethers. The dinner table isn’t the place for hardcore fights

    A family barbeque with sausages, corn, mushrooms, and onions on a grill.

    Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    A person asked the internet whether they were wrong not to invite their relative to a barbeque due to their over-the-top and militant vegan beliefs

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text about vegan sister-in-law causing tension at family BBQs.

    Text snippet about vegan-related discussions causing annoyance at family events.

    Text about vegan SIL criticizing family over food choices at barbeques.

    Text discussing a vegan SIL not enjoying a family BBQ and the host preparing a special dish that was untouched.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Vegan burgers grilling on a barbecue, highlighting vegan lifestyle at family gatherings.

    Image credits: Sigmund / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Text discussing family disagreements related to a vegan sister-in-law and her impact on family dynamics.

    Text about vegan shaming and family conflict at barbeques involving Erin and Mary.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Tattooed woman looking frustrated outside, related to vegan family conflict.

    Image credits: Blake Cheek / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text excerpt about family BBQ and Erin's absence, leading to her anger over Facebook photos.

    Text screenshot involving a vegan SIL upset over family BBQ exclusion.

    Person in a grey sweater holding a phone, focusing on a wristwatch. Vegan family dynamics concept.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Text discussing scheduling a BBQ while someone was out of town, related to vegan family dynamics and feelings.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The host shared more information about the family drama later

    Text screenshot discussing a vegan SIL's behavior and family BBQ issues.

    Text discussing planning a BBQ intentionally during a vegan sister-in-law's absence.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text discussing a BBQ plan, mentioning family dynamics and Erin's absence, related to a family barbeque scenario.

    Text about family reactions at a BBQ when vegan SIL was mentioned, with private comments and lots of smiles.

    Image credits: IFeelBad95

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Before you start making radical changes to your diet, talk to a healthcare professional. And always be aware of what your body needs

    ADVERTISEMENT

    There are lots of general health, diet, and fitness guidelines that you can (and should!) follow to live a better, longer, and higher-quality life. That being said, you also have to take into consideration that your body’s needs may not be quite the same as someone else’s.

    Different people have different lifestyles, allergies, genes, nutritional deficiencies, etc. Just like you wouldn’t encourage a person with lactose intolerance or a nut allergy to drink milk or eat peanuts, you wouldn’t push one particular diet on people who have very different relationships with exercise.

    Similarly, someone with a vitamin B12 or iron deficiency would focus on certain foods far more than an individual who has healthy levels of both in their system. Supplements work, but they have to be taken in conjunction with a balanced and nutritious diet. Sometimes, giving up red meat or seafood isn’t an option from a dietary perspective, even if you support veganism ethically.

    There is no one-size-fits-all approach, though it’s definitely a good idea to try to eat healthier, move more, stay hydrated, get plenty of sleep, and invest in your positive relationships.

    So, not only is it vital that you listen to what your body is telling you, but you also shouldn’t make any drastic changes in your lifestyle and diet without consulting your doctor or a health specialist. What changes you make and how quickly you can introduce them into your life will depend on your goals.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Introducing a few more greens, legumes, seafood, and fiber into your life while eating slightly less junk food is fairly easy to do. Meanwhile, moving past any deep-seated addictions to sugar, caffeine, processed foods, nicotine, and alcohol will require far more time and effort to make your healthier habits stick.

    And, in some more serious cases, you may need to make your lifestyle changes in sync with therapy so you can reframe your relationship with what you consume.

    Generally, omnivores are more accepting of vegans who avoid animal products due to to health concerns rather than ethical reasons

    Sticker with "Planet Earth First" on a pole, reflecting vegan values.

    Image credits: Lauris Rozentāls / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The psychology behind the relationships between vegans, omnivores, and vegetarians is fascinating. The BBC reports that many meat-eaters find explanations for why eating animals is ‘correct,’ and part of their chain of thought is that they view vegans in a negative light.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Psychologist Julia Minson from the University of Pennsylvania studied attitudes towards vegans. 45% of participants had something negative to say about vegans’ social characteristics and included descriptions using words like weird, arrogant, preachy, militant, uptight, stupid, and (somewhat bizarrely) sadistic.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Meanwhile, the BBC writes that non-meat-eaters tend to think they’re better than other people. For instance, vegetarians tend to rate other vegetarians as more virtuous than non-vegetarians. And both omnivores and vegetarians tend to rate vegetarians as more virtuous yet less masculine than omnivores.

    However, the relationship between vegans and vegetarians can be quite tense, too. The former can think that the latter group is hypocritical.

    Psychologist Benoit Monin from Stanford University said that vegetarians tend to be more threatened by vegans than non-vegetarians actually are. “They [vegetarians] agree that there is something wrong about raising animals for food, and now they’re faced with someone who’s putting their money where their mouth is, more than they do.”

    Omnivores tend to find ethical vegans and vegetarians more irritating than people who avoid animal products for health reasons. Meanwhile, faced with cognitive dissonance and discomfort, omnivores can react to pro-vegan adverts that focus on animal suffering by eating more meat to justify their actions and lifestyles.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Cognitive dissonance is what happens when someone has two incompatible views in their head (for instance, eating meat but also caring about animals) and acts in one way but not the other. It can make the present feel stressed, irritated, and unhappy, so they might lash out by blaming others.

    If your goal is to change someone’s perspective about food and health, you can’t act judgmental and holier-than-thou

    Two women having a serious discussion on a couch, one holding a glass of water, relating to a vegan and family conflict.

    Image credits: Nini FromParis / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    That being said, you won’t change many people’s minds by being preachy or judging them. Any good diplomat knows that you have to create a genuine connection with the other person. Actively listen to them, consider their perspective, and be open to having an actual discussion with them.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    If you blame someone for (not) eating meat or any other product, they’ll get defensive, ignore you, or lash out at you. What you want is a genuine dialogue, not a monologue where you show off how much ‘better’ and morally upstanding you are than the people you supposedly care about. Nobody likes a show-off.

    Then there’s the issue of timing. Shaming people about what they’re eating at a family barbeque is ridiculous. It’s a get-together that’s meant to bring people closer, not push them away. If you have genuinely good recommendations for how someone can live longer and feel healthier, you can always find a less public way of approaching those topics.

    And in many cases, actions speak far louder than words. If you want to show off the benefits of veganism, you can start to convince your family by cooking up some amazing dishes at the family barbeque. To be blunt, people love tasty food. If it’s nutritious on top of that, it’s a plus!

    ADVERTISEMENT

    What are your thoughts about the entire family drama, dear Pandas? Have you ever not invited a relative or friend because they’re overly passionate about one cause or another? What do you think is a good way to broach the topic of healthier eating and living in the first place?

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Has anyone, whether a passionate vegan or over-the-top carnivore, ever tried to browbeat you into changing your diet without caring what you think? Grab a snack or a hot beverage and tell us what you think and what you’ve experienced in the comments!

    The author added even more context as the story started going viral

    Text post discussing family boundaries at barbeques with vegan sister-in-law.

    Text exchange about vegan SIL's reaction to family barbecue food.

    Overwhelmingly, the internet thought the author did the right thing by excluding their sister-in-law

    Forum discussion about vegan SIL and family barbecue conflict.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Reddit comment discussing how a vegan SIL made a family barbeque miserable last year.

    Reddit comment discussing a vegan's behavior at a family BBQ, highlighting tolerance issues.

    Text from a forum discussing issues with a vegan family member at a barbecue.

    Text post discussing consequences and self-centered behavior in a family BBQ context.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    A user comment discussing avoiding conflict with husband's support in a family situation involving a vegan sister-in-law.

    Text of an online comment addressing a vegan SIL's behavior at family gatherings.

    Text comment discussing someone's reaction and consequences related to a vegan family member not attending barbeques.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Comment about vegan SIL not being invited to family barbeques due to mood issues.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Comment about vegan behavior and family barbeques, criticizing rude actions and discussing invitation conditions.

    Online comment criticizing behavior and discussing consequences of not being invited to events, related to family barbeques.

    Reddit comment discussing vegan sister-in-law and family barbeque conflicts.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Comment discussing how to handle family invites after vegan shamed them at BBQ.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Screenshot of a comment criticizing preachy vegans in a family context.

    Reddit comment discussing a vegan SIL shaming family and causing discomfort at a barbeque.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Reddit comment reading "NTA. Evil Genius" related to vegan family tension at barbeques.

    Reddit comment discussing a vegan shaming family at a BBQ and issues with being invited.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text discussing a vegan SIL causing family drama over her beliefs, leading to tension and exclusion from barbeques.

    Reddit comment about being a vegan chef accommodating non-vegan family members at barbeques.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Comment discussing vegan shaming in family BBQ context.

    A large chunk of readers thought that everyone was to blame and could have handled things far better

    Reddit comment discussing family dynamics and vegan disagreement at a barbeque.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Reddit comment discussing issues at family BBQ with vegan SIL causing tension over dietary restrictions.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text comment about setting boundaries with vegan family member at barbeques.

    Comment discussing a vegan's frustration over lack of BBQ accommodations, highlighting common courtesy for vegan guests.

    Comment about a vegan SIL causing family discomfort at a barbeque.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Reddit comment about vegan family dynamics and event etiquette.

    Reddit comment discussing a conflict involving a vegan sister-in-law and family exclusions.

    Text discussing veganism, personal experience at family gatherings, and opinions on promoting stereotypes.

    Not everyone was on the same page. A handful of internet users called the author out

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Comment addressing vegan family member being upset due to lack of food options at barbecues.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Reddit comment about doxxing and family issues at a barbeque, mentioning a Vegan SIL.

    Comment criticizing lack of vegan options, mentioning feeling dismissed and disregarded, causing tension at family barbeques.

    A bit later, the author of the story shared a couple of important updates

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text update about a vegan SIL causing unexpected attention and drama after being identified in real life.

    Text conversation about family tension with a vegan SIL causing conflict over family barbeques.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text conversation about dealing with a family issue, mentioning a spouse and intervention.

    Text discussing tensions between a vegan sister-in-law and her family.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text update about family conflict with vegan SIL, discussing apologies and future contact plans.

    Text about taking steps in the right direction, expressing gratitude, and requesting no doxxing.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook

    Explore more of these tags

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    What do you think ?
    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am a vegan and if I say another vegan act like this at a BBQ that they chose to attend, I would b***h slap her with a cutlet. The pic they used to depict this twat was perfect btw. Tattooed, ear gauges, butch haircut, and pierced looks like every other weirdo in Seattle. So attention seeking and insecure.

    Suzie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If someone wants to be vegan, more power to them. I draw the line when they want to criticize everyone else for their dietary choices.

    Hell Iz
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve been called a « stupid hypocrite” by vegans because I’m vegetarian. So yeah.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she ate a vegan patty that had been cooked on a BBQ grill? lol. Actually, I found a unicorn IRL. We hired this woman to be our toolroom crib manager at work. Took me a couple of weeks to notice she never ate animal products at lunch. So I did ask her if she was vegetarian and she replied with "Vegan." I was surprised because usually that's the first thing out of their mouth after you meet them. Nice girl, great crib manager.

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The nice vegans don't talk about their diet because we don't want to be lectured or asked dumb questions.

    Load More Replies...
    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "both omnivores and vegetarians tend to rate omnivores as more virtuous yet less masculine than vegetarians " what in the world do those two things have to do with each other? I know the author was quoting a poll but that is one of the strangest sentences I have read in awhile

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AHh yes, that is exactly how masculinity is rated! There is a sacred text passed down the generations to every man when they become of age. In it there is the manliness formula. This exact situation is mentioned in line 14 of section 12.2 (Food and manliness). "Ye who shall decide to partake in the consumption of animal flesh all their products or ye who refrains from it all together, shall point and laugh at the lack of masculine of those who do not. Once done your total masculine is herby worth one and a third of its original value. As for the lesser men their masculinity is reduced by a third" Basically a 1.3 or 0.7 multiplier! I hear there is talk of adding it into the DNA, so the rules just manifest at an instinctual level! Nothing strange about the sentences at all.

    Load More Replies...
    Mr.Mister
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Done that. In my friendsgroup, there was this dude who decided to become vegan. Ok his life his choice. But he became the aggresive kind of vegan who annoys everyone with speech like " Eww how can you eat that?" Or "The poor animal" and stuff like that. Well one sjmmer we decided to have a BBQ party in a public park, that was a good way away from him. But somehow he showed up by coincidence. And when he started to rant about us devouring meat everyone just shouted "SHUT UP [NAME]!!! " in unison. He fu(ked off and we had our fun

    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To Erin's claim about fat: fat consumption is not connected to adult (type 2) diabetes. Over refined carbohydrates and sugars are the usual contributing factors.

    iseefractals
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's mostly true, but not completely. Refined sugar and carbohydrates (which are metabolized into sugar) are the primary underlying factor simply because those are present in so many aspects of the modern diet. Trans fat however has been shown to have an impact on insulin resistance, while saturated fats, which is the animal fats being discussed here, do not.

    Load More Replies...
    Ron Man
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I come from a large, multicultural family that used to get together at least once a month and on holidays. Lots of different palates as well as diet restrictions. Everyone was invited. They're family. It's not about the meal, it's about the time together.

    Peter Griffin
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s funny is that veganism isn’t even the healthiest diet to be on lol

    DC
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most often, it's an ethical rather than a dietary choice. That just is the most obvious, most impactful outcome in daily life.

    Load More Replies...
    kkrq2vk4tm
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not a difficult situation to fix, people like this need an argument so just don't giver her one, I'd invited her to the family barbecue, I'd provide her with a disposable barbecue and tell her to get on with it, there would be plenty of salad stuff around that's naturally vegan and I'd tell others to just not engage if you just don't respond to someone who is ranting they run out of stuff to say

    Crouching hippo hidden panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got picked on at school for being vegan so it’s something I try to avoid announcing at all costs unless some very observant person notices. Luckily I don’t have to eat at work

    DC
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In reality - that's not where Erin resides - that is way, way more often than the other way round.

    Load More Replies...
    Betsy S
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm gluten-free and dairy-free. It's a tough combination. When I go to someone's food event, I either discuss ahead of time what the options are, offer to bring a communal dish (that I can also eat) or I just bring my own personal food. There are ways to have your dietary needs met without alienating everyone in your general vicinity. Be self-sufficient! Saves a lot of grief.

    Panda Bear
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t give a rat’s butt if you’re vegan. That’s your choice not mine. But do not try to push it onto others.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Erin needs to GTFO with her vegan proselytizing. OP needs to keep BBQ pics off Facebook, as they set Erin off, while standing her ground about the BBQ and other family get togethers.

    Paula Glasscoe
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Veganism (or any religion/lifestyle etc) is much like a penis in my view, I’m sure it’s lovely to have one but start waving it in my face and we have a problem.

    Cammy Mack
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MEAT IS MURDER!! Tasty, tasty murder.

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that hosting it while Erin was out of town was a good solution to the problem that should be followed by communication before next year's BBQ. If you're obnoxious you don't get an invite or will be asked to leave. Totally NTA. However the OP really lost me with the gloating threat that Redditors will dox Erin. That changed me to ESH.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hubs + his mom *knew* OP chose the date on purpose + let it go. 😁

    Mike F
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's something about Erin... We (my friend circle) had someone like Erin, but he was that way about everything, lol. We liked to meet up at a neighborhood bar who dubbed him "BI". It was quite a while before we found out that BI actually stood for Blithering Idiot. He quit hanging with us if we went to that bar. 😂😂

    Extinct Animal
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy s**t it's a BBQ... I'd recommend slaughtering a suckling pig infront of her next time then shoving a spike through it and spit roasting it over a fire while she watches and tries to complain.

    Aurora
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The diabetes comment alone warrants physical removal.

    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't even invite a true vegan to a BBQ unless they were willing to bring their own premade food. It's just too difficult to accommodate them! I would need a separate, never used grille because the existing one has animal product residue and will be grilling animal products. Vegetarians are not difficult to accommodate, but vegans are, and no one should be expected to bend over backwards to accommodate one person's lifestyle choice.

    Jim Robertson
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can you tell if some one is vegan?=== You don't have to, they will tell you every 2 mins

    Patrick H
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my family had BBQs, we had an "ethical" vegan friend that we always invited. She got along great with everyone, and she didn't talk about her veganism unless someone asked or it was relevant to the conversation, and even then, she was respectful. We even tried to include a few vegan options, although she was fairly used to bringing her own food to those types of events. Whenever I grilled hamburgers, I usually included a few Portobello mushrooms to keep the vibe similar. I also had a dedicated vegan section of my grill where I never let meat touch. My friend didn't ask me to do that, but she was happy that I made the effort. So, it IS possible to have BBQs with vegan attendees so long as everybody is respectful of each other.

    Cleda Galioto
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is a guest in another person's home. Shut up or go home. She has no right to attack the host or the other guests. And yes, she would not get another invite. I would not care if she screams and throws a tantrum, she would not be welcome in my home. If she shows, escort her out.

    Flo
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the YTAs are similar hardocre vegans being called out to be obnoxious AHs by this post so they act like you'd expect: playing victim and attacking anyone not being as holy as they think they are.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holier than thou has never played well with audiences.

    Ruth Watry
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have invited her, and then when she said that she was out of town, apologize and say that you cannot change the date because others have already accepted the invitation.

    DEBBIE
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This post made me sad and I can't help feeling that the drama could have been avoided with a few conversations. Firstly, if you knew she was vegan, why didn't you have plant based burgers & sausages available? They're really easy to find, it's common courtesy to cater to your guests and even non vegans might enjoy them, so a packet or two at that first BBQ would have been decent, on your part. You even admitted that even the salads weren't vegan, and all you needed to do there was not add animal products to vegan food. Is she a new vegan?people can be a bit overly enthusiastic in the early days. A quiet word from her brother about not being so vocal might have been an idea. Scheduling the next BBQ while she was away was an OK move- it's not like your life revolves around her, you are allowed to contunue with your lives while she's on holiday, LOL. But excluding her from future events is pretty harsh. Telling her she's welcome, catering for her, in suitable quantities (because meat eaters, even the vegan bashers, sometimes eat the vegan food!) & clearly stating all dietary choices will be respected, might be a way forward.

    DC
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't bother, not a single word in this story is true. It's made up to paint vegans in a certain shade. Reality will never live up to this, any real Erin would never attend such an event.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul Rabit
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still think the whole family is some kind of horrid.

    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Carnivores kill their food before they eat it. Vegans, on the other hand, eat some of their food while it's still alive. (Irony alert)

    WubiDubi
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The noisy 1%. They subsidise my meat eating so thanks but STFU, you've made a generous mostly eco and mostly unhealthy special diet choice a cult.

    Romy Rösli
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Erin is obviously very annoying but I don’t feel much sympathy for OP either. When I invite guests I make sure there will be something to eat for everyone. OP didn’t expect Erin to come? Why not ask? And OP didn’t have anything in the house that didn’t contain meat, dairy or eggs? Come on! If that’s true OP should reconsider their diet. OP comes off as quite petty and vindictive.

    Nathan Lewis
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't win friends with salad

    DC
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    And then, everybody clapped. Sorry, don't buy into this. I've seen too many a time that the single one vegan is harassed, purposefully bombarded with dumb questions and debunked lies about how unhealthy it is or how any animal product would be necessary, ranging from "for everybody" to "for children" and so on and so on. The reason I oppose the preachery is not because they - or we - would be wrong. Every single point those so-called annoying vegans bring up is solid, a few esotericists that happen to also be vegan aside. It just isn't effective, but only sparks opposition. OTOH, I don't really see how the vast and unnecessary violence that is induced by the industrial making of animal products is something anybody should have a right to cause AND ignore, or how a few WORDS about it could be even worse than the actual thing they describe. The lack of effectiveness is the only point against preachery that I agree to, but it's sufficient. And a tight rope anyway - just mentioning it often is labeled as "preaching" already, and upon being asked why, any honest answer can't skip that opposing violence against helpless and voiceless is a major part of the decision. Sometimes, I don't restrict myself enough to not be accused of preaching, but then again - what would warrant a right to not be bothered about a huge amount of suffering that one needlessly decides to cause? That it's the majority? A majority, once, voted NSDAP. A majority, lately, voted Trump.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This comment has been deleted.

    Corey Waters
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This story isn't real. It was composed to negatively portray vegans.

    Peter Bear
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clearly you live under a rock. I have personally seen versions and variations of this exact thing happen more times than I care to count. Whether this specific story is true or not, I don't know. But this sort of thing happens all the time, so it's at the very least realistic.

    Load More Replies...
    Peter Bear
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    If a person wants to be vegan, vegetarian, or some limited-meat variant, good for them. Eat what you want and enjoy it. But the minute you come at me for my choices, I'm going to publicly humiliate you with one word: Teeth. You see these teeth, Erin? Canine teeth. Made for the express purpose of tearing and cutting flesh. Now, if you believe that God created humans as we are, then God gave us these teeth and we are intended to eat meat. And if you believe in evolution, then nature gave us these teeth and we have evolved to eat meat. Either way, eating meat is normal and intended by our physical design. We are opportunistic omnivores, like pigs and bears. Deal with it.

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am a vegan and if I say another vegan act like this at a BBQ that they chose to attend, I would b***h slap her with a cutlet. The pic they used to depict this twat was perfect btw. Tattooed, ear gauges, butch haircut, and pierced looks like every other weirdo in Seattle. So attention seeking and insecure.

    Suzie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If someone wants to be vegan, more power to them. I draw the line when they want to criticize everyone else for their dietary choices.

    Hell Iz
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve been called a « stupid hypocrite” by vegans because I’m vegetarian. So yeah.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she ate a vegan patty that had been cooked on a BBQ grill? lol. Actually, I found a unicorn IRL. We hired this woman to be our toolroom crib manager at work. Took me a couple of weeks to notice she never ate animal products at lunch. So I did ask her if she was vegetarian and she replied with "Vegan." I was surprised because usually that's the first thing out of their mouth after you meet them. Nice girl, great crib manager.

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The nice vegans don't talk about their diet because we don't want to be lectured or asked dumb questions.

    Load More Replies...
    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "both omnivores and vegetarians tend to rate omnivores as more virtuous yet less masculine than vegetarians " what in the world do those two things have to do with each other? I know the author was quoting a poll but that is one of the strangest sentences I have read in awhile

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AHh yes, that is exactly how masculinity is rated! There is a sacred text passed down the generations to every man when they become of age. In it there is the manliness formula. This exact situation is mentioned in line 14 of section 12.2 (Food and manliness). "Ye who shall decide to partake in the consumption of animal flesh all their products or ye who refrains from it all together, shall point and laugh at the lack of masculine of those who do not. Once done your total masculine is herby worth one and a third of its original value. As for the lesser men their masculinity is reduced by a third" Basically a 1.3 or 0.7 multiplier! I hear there is talk of adding it into the DNA, so the rules just manifest at an instinctual level! Nothing strange about the sentences at all.

    Load More Replies...
    Mr.Mister
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Done that. In my friendsgroup, there was this dude who decided to become vegan. Ok his life his choice. But he became the aggresive kind of vegan who annoys everyone with speech like " Eww how can you eat that?" Or "The poor animal" and stuff like that. Well one sjmmer we decided to have a BBQ party in a public park, that was a good way away from him. But somehow he showed up by coincidence. And when he started to rant about us devouring meat everyone just shouted "SHUT UP [NAME]!!! " in unison. He fu(ked off and we had our fun

    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To Erin's claim about fat: fat consumption is not connected to adult (type 2) diabetes. Over refined carbohydrates and sugars are the usual contributing factors.

    iseefractals
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's mostly true, but not completely. Refined sugar and carbohydrates (which are metabolized into sugar) are the primary underlying factor simply because those are present in so many aspects of the modern diet. Trans fat however has been shown to have an impact on insulin resistance, while saturated fats, which is the animal fats being discussed here, do not.

    Load More Replies...
    Ron Man
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I come from a large, multicultural family that used to get together at least once a month and on holidays. Lots of different palates as well as diet restrictions. Everyone was invited. They're family. It's not about the meal, it's about the time together.

    Peter Griffin
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s funny is that veganism isn’t even the healthiest diet to be on lol

    DC
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most often, it's an ethical rather than a dietary choice. That just is the most obvious, most impactful outcome in daily life.

    Load More Replies...
    kkrq2vk4tm
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not a difficult situation to fix, people like this need an argument so just don't giver her one, I'd invited her to the family barbecue, I'd provide her with a disposable barbecue and tell her to get on with it, there would be plenty of salad stuff around that's naturally vegan and I'd tell others to just not engage if you just don't respond to someone who is ranting they run out of stuff to say

    Crouching hippo hidden panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got picked on at school for being vegan so it’s something I try to avoid announcing at all costs unless some very observant person notices. Luckily I don’t have to eat at work

    DC
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In reality - that's not where Erin resides - that is way, way more often than the other way round.

    Load More Replies...
    Betsy S
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm gluten-free and dairy-free. It's a tough combination. When I go to someone's food event, I either discuss ahead of time what the options are, offer to bring a communal dish (that I can also eat) or I just bring my own personal food. There are ways to have your dietary needs met without alienating everyone in your general vicinity. Be self-sufficient! Saves a lot of grief.

    Panda Bear
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t give a rat’s butt if you’re vegan. That’s your choice not mine. But do not try to push it onto others.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Erin needs to GTFO with her vegan proselytizing. OP needs to keep BBQ pics off Facebook, as they set Erin off, while standing her ground about the BBQ and other family get togethers.

    Paula Glasscoe
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Veganism (or any religion/lifestyle etc) is much like a penis in my view, I’m sure it’s lovely to have one but start waving it in my face and we have a problem.

    Cammy Mack
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MEAT IS MURDER!! Tasty, tasty murder.

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that hosting it while Erin was out of town was a good solution to the problem that should be followed by communication before next year's BBQ. If you're obnoxious you don't get an invite or will be asked to leave. Totally NTA. However the OP really lost me with the gloating threat that Redditors will dox Erin. That changed me to ESH.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hubs + his mom *knew* OP chose the date on purpose + let it go. 😁

    Mike F
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's something about Erin... We (my friend circle) had someone like Erin, but he was that way about everything, lol. We liked to meet up at a neighborhood bar who dubbed him "BI". It was quite a while before we found out that BI actually stood for Blithering Idiot. He quit hanging with us if we went to that bar. 😂😂

    Extinct Animal
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy s**t it's a BBQ... I'd recommend slaughtering a suckling pig infront of her next time then shoving a spike through it and spit roasting it over a fire while she watches and tries to complain.

    Aurora
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The diabetes comment alone warrants physical removal.

    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't even invite a true vegan to a BBQ unless they were willing to bring their own premade food. It's just too difficult to accommodate them! I would need a separate, never used grille because the existing one has animal product residue and will be grilling animal products. Vegetarians are not difficult to accommodate, but vegans are, and no one should be expected to bend over backwards to accommodate one person's lifestyle choice.

    Jim Robertson
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can you tell if some one is vegan?=== You don't have to, they will tell you every 2 mins

    Patrick H
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my family had BBQs, we had an "ethical" vegan friend that we always invited. She got along great with everyone, and she didn't talk about her veganism unless someone asked or it was relevant to the conversation, and even then, she was respectful. We even tried to include a few vegan options, although she was fairly used to bringing her own food to those types of events. Whenever I grilled hamburgers, I usually included a few Portobello mushrooms to keep the vibe similar. I also had a dedicated vegan section of my grill where I never let meat touch. My friend didn't ask me to do that, but she was happy that I made the effort. So, it IS possible to have BBQs with vegan attendees so long as everybody is respectful of each other.

    Cleda Galioto
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is a guest in another person's home. Shut up or go home. She has no right to attack the host or the other guests. And yes, she would not get another invite. I would not care if she screams and throws a tantrum, she would not be welcome in my home. If she shows, escort her out.

    Flo
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the YTAs are similar hardocre vegans being called out to be obnoxious AHs by this post so they act like you'd expect: playing victim and attacking anyone not being as holy as they think they are.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holier than thou has never played well with audiences.

    Ruth Watry
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have invited her, and then when she said that she was out of town, apologize and say that you cannot change the date because others have already accepted the invitation.

    DEBBIE
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This post made me sad and I can't help feeling that the drama could have been avoided with a few conversations. Firstly, if you knew she was vegan, why didn't you have plant based burgers & sausages available? They're really easy to find, it's common courtesy to cater to your guests and even non vegans might enjoy them, so a packet or two at that first BBQ would have been decent, on your part. You even admitted that even the salads weren't vegan, and all you needed to do there was not add animal products to vegan food. Is she a new vegan?people can be a bit overly enthusiastic in the early days. A quiet word from her brother about not being so vocal might have been an idea. Scheduling the next BBQ while she was away was an OK move- it's not like your life revolves around her, you are allowed to contunue with your lives while she's on holiday, LOL. But excluding her from future events is pretty harsh. Telling her she's welcome, catering for her, in suitable quantities (because meat eaters, even the vegan bashers, sometimes eat the vegan food!) & clearly stating all dietary choices will be respected, might be a way forward.

    DC
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't bother, not a single word in this story is true. It's made up to paint vegans in a certain shade. Reality will never live up to this, any real Erin would never attend such an event.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul Rabit
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still think the whole family is some kind of horrid.

    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Carnivores kill their food before they eat it. Vegans, on the other hand, eat some of their food while it's still alive. (Irony alert)

    WubiDubi
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The noisy 1%. They subsidise my meat eating so thanks but STFU, you've made a generous mostly eco and mostly unhealthy special diet choice a cult.

    Romy Rösli
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Erin is obviously very annoying but I don’t feel much sympathy for OP either. When I invite guests I make sure there will be something to eat for everyone. OP didn’t expect Erin to come? Why not ask? And OP didn’t have anything in the house that didn’t contain meat, dairy or eggs? Come on! If that’s true OP should reconsider their diet. OP comes off as quite petty and vindictive.

    Nathan Lewis
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't win friends with salad

    DC
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    And then, everybody clapped. Sorry, don't buy into this. I've seen too many a time that the single one vegan is harassed, purposefully bombarded with dumb questions and debunked lies about how unhealthy it is or how any animal product would be necessary, ranging from "for everybody" to "for children" and so on and so on. The reason I oppose the preachery is not because they - or we - would be wrong. Every single point those so-called annoying vegans bring up is solid, a few esotericists that happen to also be vegan aside. It just isn't effective, but only sparks opposition. OTOH, I don't really see how the vast and unnecessary violence that is induced by the industrial making of animal products is something anybody should have a right to cause AND ignore, or how a few WORDS about it could be even worse than the actual thing they describe. The lack of effectiveness is the only point against preachery that I agree to, but it's sufficient. And a tight rope anyway - just mentioning it often is labeled as "preaching" already, and upon being asked why, any honest answer can't skip that opposing violence against helpless and voiceless is a major part of the decision. Sometimes, I don't restrict myself enough to not be accused of preaching, but then again - what would warrant a right to not be bothered about a huge amount of suffering that one needlessly decides to cause? That it's the majority? A majority, once, voted NSDAP. A majority, lately, voted Trump.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This comment has been deleted.

    Corey Waters
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This story isn't real. It was composed to negatively portray vegans.

    Peter Bear
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clearly you live under a rock. I have personally seen versions and variations of this exact thing happen more times than I care to count. Whether this specific story is true or not, I don't know. But this sort of thing happens all the time, so it's at the very least realistic.

    Load More Replies...
    Peter Bear
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    If a person wants to be vegan, vegetarian, or some limited-meat variant, good for them. Eat what you want and enjoy it. But the minute you come at me for my choices, I'm going to publicly humiliate you with one word: Teeth. You see these teeth, Erin? Canine teeth. Made for the express purpose of tearing and cutting flesh. Now, if you believe that God created humans as we are, then God gave us these teeth and we are intended to eat meat. And if you believe in evolution, then nature gave us these teeth and we have evolved to eat meat. Either way, eating meat is normal and intended by our physical design. We are opportunistic omnivores, like pigs and bears. Deal with it.

    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT