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People Who Were Bullied Are Relating To These “Facts That Adults Don’t Tell You About Bullying” And Saying They’re True
Bullies aren’t born, they’re created. And they cause a lot of problems for people around them. Trying to help their victims — and everyone else — to make sense of it all, Tumblr user autasticanna shared what they consider to be “facts that adults don’t tell you about bullying.”
The post quickly went viral on the platform, and has already generated over 183,000 notes. But probably the comment section is what really highlights the list’s insightfulness. People who have been bullied themselves have been saying they found a lot of truth in autasticanna’s words. So continue scrolling and check them out. Maybe you will, too.
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Image credits: autasticanna
Deliberately harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are smaller, weaker, and simply more vulnerable in general, peaks around ages 11 to 13 and decreases as children grow older.
While physical aggression such as kicking, hitting, and shoving is most common among younger children, relational aggression (damaging or manipulating the relationships of others by spreading rumors and social exclusion) is more common as children mature.
Experts say bullies become bullies very early in life: if the normal aggression of 2-year-olds is not handled with consistency, they fail to acquire internal restraints against such behavior. Thus, bullying remains a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want.
Research shows that bullies have a distinct psychological makeup. They lack prosocial behavior, are untroubled by anxiety, and have little empathy. They do not really understand how others feel. They exhibit a kind of paranoia, too: they misread the intentions of others, often imputing hostility in neutral situations. Also, even though others may not like them, bullies typically see themselves quite positively.
Bullies, however, don’t pick on everyone. According to research, their victims lack assertiveness even in non-threatening situations and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully. Generally, these are children who don’t stand up for themselves and have poor social skills and few close friendships.
In the aftermath of repetitive bullying, victims may develop anxiety, depressive symptoms, and eating disorders.
With regard to anxiety, studies found that frequent bullying was a predicting factor for anxiety disorders in early adulthood.
As the post was going viral, people had a lot to say about it
What do you think ?
les 5 years ago
I was bullied the entire way through school. It continued after school until I got hold of all of the bastards one by one and beat the crap out of them. I thought it would make me feel better but I regreted it after cos I should have done it sooner. I still dont trust many people and its left me with severe anxiety and deppression 30 years later. Now though if I see someone being bullied I stand up for them
Imma Letchoofinish 5 years ago
This post! Yes! This 'movie' idea that all bullies come from homes where they are always the victim is bull___. My bully came from a home where he was raised by bullies and trash people who got their self esteem by taking it from others. He thought I was his punching bag and would walk by and just punch me in the face, stomach, back... No reason, just punch and then call me something awful. I returned from school break 4 inches taller and a bit bigger than I left...he took his usual swing at me and I beat him in the face so badly he could not open his eyes for days. Happy first day of school you sack of sh__! That SOB never so much as looked at me again. Do not let bullies continue. Ask for help and if that fails, fight. back.
Misty Marie 5 years ago
He was raised by bullies but you don't think he was being bullied at home?? Definitely not trying to defend him but it seems like his home life and upbringing could not have been great.
Load More Replies...
Daeris 5 years ago
It's not only US. I've been bullied after my parents divorce, for 3 years. When I told the teacher and then the headmaster, they just told me that it's my fault. Being beaten, stolen from and other stuff... "It's your fault, you provoke them." At age of 14 I've realized there's no such thing as "authority" just from the position. And it's not worth to "respect" anyone just because he/she is being a boss, a teacher, a policeman, a doctor or whatever else with "position". 16 years later, it's still a valuable lesson And yes, the bullying stopped after ugly fighting back..
Mimi777 5 years ago
I completely agree with you on the respect authority statement. Sometimes people in positions like that sit on their high horse and feel like they can treat people badly because they’re an authority and feel like they can get away with it.
Load More Replies...
RavenClaw 5 years ago
I was bullied as a kid ''was called ugly'' '' weird and stupid'' teacher told me '' tell me and dont hit them back'' never worked .. now i'm anti social have deppression and anxiety around more than 1 person and have a service dog for it .. what they tell you at school isnt even what they would do
deanna woods 5 years ago
I am sorry that you ended up in this situation. That teacher lied to you and had no plans to help you.
Load More Replies...
Bepina 5 years ago
Bullies usually understand only the language of VIOLENCE. I was bullied my entire primary school and it was horrible. Most of the issues I have come from that period - I'm almost 40 and I still have problems with lack of self-esteem, lack of coping mechanisms in situations where I meet aggressive and mean adults. We have to accept the fact that some people are just mean, even as children, and talking to them will resolve nothing. I have no empathy nor understanding for the people that bullied me. They had normal lives but were bored so they were picking on me and other children to make their daily life less dull. In the end they were happy, and I was left with psychological scars and issues for life.
Mommyofboth 5 years ago
The boy that bullied me in school left scars on my legs where he kicked me. Turns out years later he beat his wife multiple times, then kicked her out of their house. She came home to all her and her kid's stuff outside with a new woman moved in. He was just a d*ck.
Kitty Twinkle 5 years ago
Some people are just naturally (insert swear word here.) What we can do is help the victims recover. And he does sound like a horrible person.
Load More Replies... Saara . 5 years ago
"The school system in the US is set up to victimize." Glad I was home schooled. It comes with cons, but literally everything does. My daily interactions with public schooled kids (my mom was the candy lady in our neighborhood) was enough of an indication that I definitely would have been bullied.
Zophra 5 years ago
No it is not "set up" to victimize. I'm not saying there are cases where schools fall short of their responsibility - but that's a bit much to state it as intentional. -high school teacher NJ
Load More Replies...
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
Best rule: tit for tat. Start by being kind, if someone hits you, hit back. But don't take it any further. If they are "kind" the next day, be kind back. Never be the one to start it, but don't just be a doormat. Retaliate.
lara 5 years ago
And people refuse to recognize that they bully people all the time, but they call it being "politically correct" or "woke" or whatever the ideology of the moment is. And, it does happen more and more on social media and people accept it as being "correcting people who are not thinking the way they are supposed to."
Luna Lovegood 5 years ago
If you think you might be being bullied, tell someone. Better to maybe make a bigger deal out of it than it is than to never get help. When I was in 7th grade, I got bullied quite a bit, but I was never sure if it really was bullying because it was never one person for very long. I only had a couple friends, and pretty much the rest of my grade didn't like me for some reason, either actively making fun of me, or laughing along with everyone else. It would be one person being mean for a couple weeks, then another. Looking back it definitely was bullying. I remember my entire math class laughing at me and calling me dumb for asking a simple question, people actively ignoring me, this one dude who took every chance he could to say some mean comment to me, etc. on a daily basis. Even my best friend did nothing. I didn't want to tell my parents bc my dad was out of work, they were stressed, and I was trying so hard to be the perfect child so they wouldn't have to worry about me too.
Luna Lovegood 5 years ago
I was in my "sad middle school years" at the time- I was definitely depressed, and so, so lonely. This was probably partially caused by an imbalance of hormones during puberty, but it was also caused by the bullying and feeling like I had to be perfect for my parents and being ignored and treated like dirt by most of my peers. I was also a weird kid, I admit. But that's no excuse to bully someone. I was never mean to people. I thought ignoring them was the right thing. Now I wish I had stood up for myself. My advice? Some people are just mean, don't make excuses for them. If you think you're being bullied, talk to someone. It's ok to defend yourself. If you see someone being bullied, help them. Be kind. Stand up for them. You don't know the hell they're going through, and how much you can make a difference with a few kind words. One girl I didn't even know that well stood up for me. I will never forget her. Please, be kind to everyone. Together we can make the world a bit better.
Load More Replies... les 5 years ago
I was bullied the entire way through school. It continued after school until I got hold of all of the bastards one by one and beat the crap out of them. I thought it would make me feel better but I regreted it after cos I should have done it sooner. I still dont trust many people and its left me with severe anxiety and deppression 30 years later. Now though if I see someone being bullied I stand up for them
Imma Letchoofinish 5 years ago
This post! Yes! This 'movie' idea that all bullies come from homes where they are always the victim is bull___. My bully came from a home where he was raised by bullies and trash people who got their self esteem by taking it from others. He thought I was his punching bag and would walk by and just punch me in the face, stomach, back... No reason, just punch and then call me something awful. I returned from school break 4 inches taller and a bit bigger than I left...he took his usual swing at me and I beat him in the face so badly he could not open his eyes for days. Happy first day of school you sack of sh__! That SOB never so much as looked at me again. Do not let bullies continue. Ask for help and if that fails, fight. back.
Misty Marie 5 years ago
He was raised by bullies but you don't think he was being bullied at home?? Definitely not trying to defend him but it seems like his home life and upbringing could not have been great.
Load More Replies... Daeris 5 years ago
It's not only US. I've been bullied after my parents divorce, for 3 years. When I told the teacher and then the headmaster, they just told me that it's my fault. Being beaten, stolen from and other stuff... "It's your fault, you provoke them." At age of 14 I've realized there's no such thing as "authority" just from the position. And it's not worth to "respect" anyone just because he/she is being a boss, a teacher, a policeman, a doctor or whatever else with "position". 16 years later, it's still a valuable lesson And yes, the bullying stopped after ugly fighting back..
Mimi777 5 years ago
I completely agree with you on the respect authority statement. Sometimes people in positions like that sit on their high horse and feel like they can treat people badly because they’re an authority and feel like they can get away with it.
Load More Replies... RavenClaw 5 years ago
I was bullied as a kid ''was called ugly'' '' weird and stupid'' teacher told me '' tell me and dont hit them back'' never worked .. now i'm anti social have deppression and anxiety around more than 1 person and have a service dog for it .. what they tell you at school isnt even what they would do
deanna woods 5 years ago
I am sorry that you ended up in this situation. That teacher lied to you and had no plans to help you.
Load More Replies... Bepina 5 years ago
Bullies usually understand only the language of VIOLENCE. I was bullied my entire primary school and it was horrible. Most of the issues I have come from that period - I'm almost 40 and I still have problems with lack of self-esteem, lack of coping mechanisms in situations where I meet aggressive and mean adults. We have to accept the fact that some people are just mean, even as children, and talking to them will resolve nothing. I have no empathy nor understanding for the people that bullied me. They had normal lives but were bored so they were picking on me and other children to make their daily life less dull. In the end they were happy, and I was left with psychological scars and issues for life.
Mommyofboth 5 years ago
The boy that bullied me in school left scars on my legs where he kicked me. Turns out years later he beat his wife multiple times, then kicked her out of their house. She came home to all her and her kid's stuff outside with a new woman moved in. He was just a d*ck.
Kitty Twinkle 5 years ago
Some people are just naturally (insert swear word here.) What we can do is help the victims recover. And he does sound like a horrible person.
Load More Replies... Saara . 5 years ago
"The school system in the US is set up to victimize." Glad I was home schooled. It comes with cons, but literally everything does. My daily interactions with public schooled kids (my mom was the candy lady in our neighborhood) was enough of an indication that I definitely would have been bullied.
Zophra 5 years ago
No it is not "set up" to victimize. I'm not saying there are cases where schools fall short of their responsibility - but that's a bit much to state it as intentional. -high school teacher NJ
Load More Replies... Kendra Miller 5 years ago
Best rule: tit for tat. Start by being kind, if someone hits you, hit back. But don't take it any further. If they are "kind" the next day, be kind back. Never be the one to start it, but don't just be a doormat. Retaliate.
lara 5 years ago
And people refuse to recognize that they bully people all the time, but they call it being "politically correct" or "woke" or whatever the ideology of the moment is. And, it does happen more and more on social media and people accept it as being "correcting people who are not thinking the way they are supposed to."
Luna Lovegood 5 years ago
If you think you might be being bullied, tell someone. Better to maybe make a bigger deal out of it than it is than to never get help. When I was in 7th grade, I got bullied quite a bit, but I was never sure if it really was bullying because it was never one person for very long. I only had a couple friends, and pretty much the rest of my grade didn't like me for some reason, either actively making fun of me, or laughing along with everyone else. It would be one person being mean for a couple weeks, then another. Looking back it definitely was bullying. I remember my entire math class laughing at me and calling me dumb for asking a simple question, people actively ignoring me, this one dude who took every chance he could to say some mean comment to me, etc. on a daily basis. Even my best friend did nothing. I didn't want to tell my parents bc my dad was out of work, they were stressed, and I was trying so hard to be the perfect child so they wouldn't have to worry about me too.
Luna Lovegood 5 years ago
I was in my "sad middle school years" at the time- I was definitely depressed, and so, so lonely. This was probably partially caused by an imbalance of hormones during puberty, but it was also caused by the bullying and feeling like I had to be perfect for my parents and being ignored and treated like dirt by most of my peers. I was also a weird kid, I admit. But that's no excuse to bully someone. I was never mean to people. I thought ignoring them was the right thing. Now I wish I had stood up for myself. My advice? Some people are just mean, don't make excuses for them. If you think you're being bullied, talk to someone. It's ok to defend yourself. If you see someone being bullied, help them. Be kind. Stand up for them. You don't know the hell they're going through, and how much you can make a difference with a few kind words. One girl I didn't even know that well stood up for me. I will never forget her. Please, be kind to everyone. Together we can make the world a bit better.
Load More Replies...
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