Woman Asks Her Ex-DIL To Let Her Son Meet His Children, She Exposes Her Ex-Husband Who Actually Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With His Kids
Some people manage to get a divorce and still keep in touch and be friendly. But many of them can’t even face each other without being at one another’s throats. It gets especially messy when kids are involved because parents have to decide which one of them has their custody and when the other parent will get time to spend time with them.
But there is something even worse than fighting over custody: when one of the parents willingly signs out of their children’s lives. This was the case for Reddit user Winter_Apple_6053 who divorced her husband and got full custody of her children because the dad just didn’t want to parent anymore, but made it seem to everyone that his ex-wife took his children away from him.
More info: Reddit
Woman exposed her ex-husband to his mom about not wanting to care for his children and people keep telling her that she shouldn’t have done it
Image credits: Simóca & Annus (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) is a 45-year-old mom who just divorced her husband. They started dating when she was 15 and married not long after when she turned 16. Many people were surprised she got married so young, so in several responses to comments, the woman explained that she got pregnant and her Christian parents kind of forced the couple to get married; however, they didn’t have that child as they chose an abortion.
Later, she stayed with her husband because apparently he was loving and caring, so there was no reason to get a divorce. They were together for 30 years and have two children: a 5-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter.
The woman had been with her husband almost for 30 years and had two children together, but their marriage came to an end
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
There weren’t any drama or scandals; on the contrary, even the custody question was solved very quickly as the dad didn’t to have any rights to his kids
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
For reasons untold in the story, the couple got a divorce. It was going smoothly and when it came to talking about the children’s custody, it was even easier, legally speaking, because the dad refused any rights to his children.
The mom didn’t argue with that and wasn’t planning on forcing him into his children’s lives when he didn’t want to as she had the experience of having a parent who didn’t care about her.
The man didn’t even try to pretend that he had a valid reason for such a decision and just told her he was done with parenting altogether.
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
That is why the OP was so confused when her ex-MIL told her that he was heartbroken about not being able to see his children
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
According to Erlich Law Office, in more than half of custody cases, both parents agree that the mother should be the custodial parent. 27 percent of fathers don’t have any contact with their children at all and 51 percent meet their children once a week or even less frequently.
However, more men are becoming single fathers. For example, in 1960, only 8 percent of households in the US were headed by a single father, and in 2011, the number was 25 percent.
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
As the ex-MIL didn’t believe it when the OP said that not seeing his kids was his decision, she called him and put it on speaker
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
The father in this story is one of those 27 percent of men who aren’t involved in their children’s lives. That is why the OP was really surprised when she heard from her ex-mother-in-law, Denise, about how distraught the man was at not being able to see his children. She claimed that her son was crying about it and he thought she was a horrible person for taking full custody of them. Winter_Apple_6053 was confused because there were no indications of this before that and her ex-husband had never tried to contact her to discuss the matter.
Denise didn’t believe the OP’s words as she couldn’t imagine her son saying such things about his own children. So the mom found a simple solution–to call her ex-husband and have a conversation about seeing his children while the phone was on speaker for the MIL to hear.
He confirmed everything the OP had just said without knowing that his mom was listening to their conversation
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
The OP invited the dad to see his son’s soccer match and added that he would be happy to see him. The man immediately declined and reminded her that they’d already discussed this. So Winter_Apple_6053 brought up birthdays and holidays as maybe his family would like to spend time with the children.
It seems that the man had convinced his family that the children aren’t even his and told his ex-wife about this, which is not true, as explained by the OP in the comments. She supposes that he told his family that so that she wouldn’t want to contact the family.
The OP didn’t give up and suggested that, knowing that his mom really loved her grandchildren, maybe she still would want to stay in contact. The ex-husband was confident that his mom loved him more than her grandchildren and for him, that meant that there’s no need to bring it up again.
The man was kicked out of his house and treated with silence from his family, possibly even taken off his mom’s will
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
The ex-mother-in-law didn’t show her emotions to the OP and promised to get in touch later. The next thing Winter_Apple_6053 knows is that her ex-husband was kicked out of his parents’ house because of what he said to her over the phone.
Not only was he kicked out of his parents’ home, but other relatives also were not on speaking terms with him. On top of that, he will probably be taken off his mom’s will, so he was really mad and let the OP know that.
Now the OP worries she ruined her ex-husband’s life so she wonders if she shouldn’t have said anything even if he made her look bad
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
Image credits: Tracy (not the actual photo)
The ex-husband’s friends keep telling Winter_Apple_6053 what a horrible person she is for saying anything to his mom and that because of her, his whole family hates him. Even her own friend thinks the OP shouldn’t have said anything because it brought such serious consequences.
So the OP started to think that maybe she should have stayed silent, but redditors are convinced she did the right thing. The OP’s ex-husband manipulated his family into thinking she was a bad person and she only defended herself and didn’t even need to do anything–the man did the talking for her himself.
Redditors came to OP’s defense and thought that she just revealed the truth and cleared her name, which is fair
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Share on FacebookThat friend that told her she's the AH for ruining his life by telling the children's grandparent the truth need to be kicked into touch I think. As for the father's actions, it just makes me sick. Short of hurting someone else's there's not much I wouldn't do if I could just have a few seconds more with my late daughter.. and then there's parents like this dickhead dad who doesn't realise just how lucky he is.
There's a whole comment sub-thread speculating that maybe the "friend" is also sleeping with the ex-husband...
Load More Replies...NTA-How is it the OP's fault that his family disowned him? He blatantly lied to him family saying the Mom took the kids. Didn't he think that was going to blow up in his face?
Narcissistic âssholes don't think that anyone is ever smart enough to figure them out.
Load More Replies...I would say that being forced to marry at 16 by religious zealots probably had a lot to do with it. Shocked the nutball parents were fine with an abortion after forcing their daughter to marry though.
The young couple choose the procedure, not her folks. Went on for 13-15 years before the daughter came along and 7 years more til the son was born. If they could divorce after 30 , why not do so after 10? She was 26, it was another 12 years before the next pregnancy. This makes no sense.
Load More Replies...He's an mf'r and I know this attitude from personal experience. I left home early and avoided him like the plague for over 30 years. I couldn't convince my Mother to leave, so unfortunately for her it was only phone calls. My Grandmother called me in year 31 to tell me that Mom had been in a terrible car wreck which almost killed her. She had scores of shattered bones and went through numerous surgeries. The moment I hung up I called my work and told them I couldn't be at work for some time. When they asked me why I explained the situation. "Take all the time you need; see you when you get back." We kitchen folk are some of the loyalest in the world to each other. I drove straight on from Oklahoma City to Houston with only a stop for gasoline. When I got to their apt I found her in a wheelchair loaded with metal braces. When I asked where dad was she said that he had moved out; didn't want to be bothered. I hate his god damn guts.
Oh No Your Poor Mother must have felt so bad Bless you for going straight to be with her Hope she healed well
Load More Replies...How any man could walk away from his kids is beyond me. Especially as he has a history with them. It's completely unthinkable. So for 12 years this guy has been disconnected from his daughter? He is one step above a child molester. I am sad for his kids. As for him, I'm glad he got kicked out. And this lady absolutely should have told his family. HE is the reason nobody want to talk to him. Selfish beyond belief. I truly hope the worst for this guy. And I hope his kids never forgive him.
Won't take responsibility for his kids, obviously won't take responsibility for his decision to not take responsibility for his kids.
This shouldn’t even be a question, there is no gray area, he abandoned the children and lied; the children deserve their grandmas love, she was another victim of his lies.
It’s apparently your fault that he didn’t get away with his lies. Boy, you are well rid of this guy!
Wow...what kind of absolute POS do you have to be to not only walk out on your wife and kids but to actually claim that "my mom loves me more than them"?! Anyone who's ever known a grandma's love knows that is a load of BS. I truly feel sorry for OP, her kids, and her ex MIL because they all share some kind of link to this pathetic excuse for a "man".
You said your ex was 47 when you split. But I don't think so....I think he is a maladjusted 13-year old...living with his mother, lying to her, and blaming everybody else for his mistakes and problems.
Honestly, at this point, the mom is doing exactly what her son did: saying she wants no part of her son's life.
Are you the a*****e for not playing along with some psychopath's game that would make you look like a monster to his whole family? I wonder!
So it's distressing to him, a grown adult, that his parent doesn't want anything to do with him (through his own actions) but he expects (or doesn't care) his own children, who are actual children, to be fine that one of their parents doesn't want anything to do with them (without them having done anything but exist). And somehow this is all his ex-wife's fault? Also if I was his mother I'd be deeply hurt that it appears the only reason he's upset that she's cutting off contact is because he is losing his free housing and a potential inheritance. I hope she leaves whatever she would have left to him entirely to his kids.
Isn't is some kind of special when liars get caught in their own lies?
He really thought she owed him anything? Definitely not. I'm going to completely bail on all of my parental responsibilities and I need you to lie for me about it.
Hes a Lying Narcisist so devious He should still be made to pay child support Hes choice to lie to his family doesnt mean the Ex should have to He made his choice If you make your bed you have to lie in it If he thought the family wouldnt find out he must be an idiot
Did I read that correctly? Married for 30 years by the age of 45? Wtf?
It wasn't uncommon for teens to get married young 30+ years ago when the girl gets pregnant. My mom got married at 15/16 when she got pregnant. Granted the marriage lasted 3 years, this couple managed to also stay together for 30 years which is a huge accomplishment. There are a handful of states that allow teens (sometimes as young as 14) to get married with parental consent.
Load More Replies...NTA he’s a d**k “not wanting to parent anymore” who the f**k does that ? As for the “friend” f**k them. You don’t need them . Karmas a b***h and they getting theirs. Live your best life and be happy with your children
One million percent NTA! The ex's behavior is nothing short of disgusting.
So... He decides he doesn't want to be a dad to his two kids, then decides he doesn't want to be the bad guy either? Think it's time that Father of the Year learns what it's like to deal with the consequences of his own actions. OP is definitely NTA.
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What she did was correct! Ex husband is a liar and needs to be exposed for the fake he is. You dont want to take responsability for your kids? thats fine,but dont be a trash bag and talk bad to your family about her,thinking they will not find out! She was smart and brave to show he's family what a fake he is.
The truth has a way of bubbling to the top. Whether it be the children asking for a visit as it 'actually' happened the ex-MIL wants to advocate for her son. The wife could be blunt and totally honest or be coy and let it come in 'drips and drabs'. How to humiliate the MIL in her ignorance to drag it on. At least the truth was clear. A cat and mouse game is what the ex wanted? What was going to be his 'endgame'? Just that the wife look like a witch? So Grandma wants a visit or the kids do. A phone call away from the crap hitting the fan. It came out in the open and the burn was fast and the healing begins. 4-8 years of hurt caused by the lies, because the wife gets one story and Mom another. If the guy's family is local, he didn't believe that a natural meeting may come about? Grandma tries to get the kids to contact dad in 'secret' for his pleasure because mom is 'preventing' it, that sh*tshow follows pot/kettle black? Mil gets an education on the truth.
My ex moved back to his mother's apartment in the projects of Boston. He only had to pay $35 per week child support because he was unemployed. He didn't even show up in court. After 1 full year of no financial support my current husband started adoption process. I needed him to sign relinquish of parental rights. I sent the paperwork along with a prepaid FedEx envelope to send it back. I kept calling. He kept saying he'd sign because the state I lived in would put out a warrant for him because not paying child support for one full year was abandonment. If he showed up in court tobcontest he would be arrested. He stopped answering my twice a day calls. Several days of his mother only answering. She asked why all ofcs sudden I'm calling what did I want. I needed relinquishment of parental rights signed and notarized. She told me I can't do that! Oh yes I can! No child support for the year and 4 months at that moment. I received the signed paperwork the next day. My ex sister in law called me demand to know why his mother kicked him out. I told her truth. Turns out he was telling her he couldn't help with bills,groceries and rent (in the projects) because he was sending all his money to me.
That friend that told her she's the AH for ruining his life by telling the children's grandparent the truth need to be kicked into touch I think. As for the father's actions, it just makes me sick. Short of hurting someone else's there's not much I wouldn't do if I could just have a few seconds more with my late daughter.. and then there's parents like this dickhead dad who doesn't realise just how lucky he is.
There's a whole comment sub-thread speculating that maybe the "friend" is also sleeping with the ex-husband...
Load More Replies...NTA-How is it the OP's fault that his family disowned him? He blatantly lied to him family saying the Mom took the kids. Didn't he think that was going to blow up in his face?
Narcissistic âssholes don't think that anyone is ever smart enough to figure them out.
Load More Replies...I would say that being forced to marry at 16 by religious zealots probably had a lot to do with it. Shocked the nutball parents were fine with an abortion after forcing their daughter to marry though.
The young couple choose the procedure, not her folks. Went on for 13-15 years before the daughter came along and 7 years more til the son was born. If they could divorce after 30 , why not do so after 10? She was 26, it was another 12 years before the next pregnancy. This makes no sense.
Load More Replies...He's an mf'r and I know this attitude from personal experience. I left home early and avoided him like the plague for over 30 years. I couldn't convince my Mother to leave, so unfortunately for her it was only phone calls. My Grandmother called me in year 31 to tell me that Mom had been in a terrible car wreck which almost killed her. She had scores of shattered bones and went through numerous surgeries. The moment I hung up I called my work and told them I couldn't be at work for some time. When they asked me why I explained the situation. "Take all the time you need; see you when you get back." We kitchen folk are some of the loyalest in the world to each other. I drove straight on from Oklahoma City to Houston with only a stop for gasoline. When I got to their apt I found her in a wheelchair loaded with metal braces. When I asked where dad was she said that he had moved out; didn't want to be bothered. I hate his god damn guts.
Oh No Your Poor Mother must have felt so bad Bless you for going straight to be with her Hope she healed well
Load More Replies...How any man could walk away from his kids is beyond me. Especially as he has a history with them. It's completely unthinkable. So for 12 years this guy has been disconnected from his daughter? He is one step above a child molester. I am sad for his kids. As for him, I'm glad he got kicked out. And this lady absolutely should have told his family. HE is the reason nobody want to talk to him. Selfish beyond belief. I truly hope the worst for this guy. And I hope his kids never forgive him.
Won't take responsibility for his kids, obviously won't take responsibility for his decision to not take responsibility for his kids.
This shouldn’t even be a question, there is no gray area, he abandoned the children and lied; the children deserve their grandmas love, she was another victim of his lies.
It’s apparently your fault that he didn’t get away with his lies. Boy, you are well rid of this guy!
Wow...what kind of absolute POS do you have to be to not only walk out on your wife and kids but to actually claim that "my mom loves me more than them"?! Anyone who's ever known a grandma's love knows that is a load of BS. I truly feel sorry for OP, her kids, and her ex MIL because they all share some kind of link to this pathetic excuse for a "man".
You said your ex was 47 when you split. But I don't think so....I think he is a maladjusted 13-year old...living with his mother, lying to her, and blaming everybody else for his mistakes and problems.
Honestly, at this point, the mom is doing exactly what her son did: saying she wants no part of her son's life.
Are you the a*****e for not playing along with some psychopath's game that would make you look like a monster to his whole family? I wonder!
So it's distressing to him, a grown adult, that his parent doesn't want anything to do with him (through his own actions) but he expects (or doesn't care) his own children, who are actual children, to be fine that one of their parents doesn't want anything to do with them (without them having done anything but exist). And somehow this is all his ex-wife's fault? Also if I was his mother I'd be deeply hurt that it appears the only reason he's upset that she's cutting off contact is because he is losing his free housing and a potential inheritance. I hope she leaves whatever she would have left to him entirely to his kids.
Isn't is some kind of special when liars get caught in their own lies?
He really thought she owed him anything? Definitely not. I'm going to completely bail on all of my parental responsibilities and I need you to lie for me about it.
Hes a Lying Narcisist so devious He should still be made to pay child support Hes choice to lie to his family doesnt mean the Ex should have to He made his choice If you make your bed you have to lie in it If he thought the family wouldnt find out he must be an idiot
Did I read that correctly? Married for 30 years by the age of 45? Wtf?
It wasn't uncommon for teens to get married young 30+ years ago when the girl gets pregnant. My mom got married at 15/16 when she got pregnant. Granted the marriage lasted 3 years, this couple managed to also stay together for 30 years which is a huge accomplishment. There are a handful of states that allow teens (sometimes as young as 14) to get married with parental consent.
Load More Replies...NTA he’s a d**k “not wanting to parent anymore” who the f**k does that ? As for the “friend” f**k them. You don’t need them . Karmas a b***h and they getting theirs. Live your best life and be happy with your children
One million percent NTA! The ex's behavior is nothing short of disgusting.
So... He decides he doesn't want to be a dad to his two kids, then decides he doesn't want to be the bad guy either? Think it's time that Father of the Year learns what it's like to deal with the consequences of his own actions. OP is definitely NTA.
Hello,Dr. Odin Jadu, I want to thank you for the love spell you did for me. My boyfriend 's friend is back to me after using you. Returning love spells thank you so much,I will never forget this great happiness you brought to my life. if you are in need of this powerful spell caster you can reach him through this his whatsap +393511788587 or drodintemple3523@gmail.com Dr Odin also do all kinds of spell Website: http://reunitingexspelltemple.i.ng/ (1). Spell to change your University/school grades (2). Lotto Spell (3).Money spell (4).Ex husband spell/wife (5). Court Case spell Contact him on his email: drodintemple3523@gmail.com
What she did was correct! Ex husband is a liar and needs to be exposed for the fake he is. You dont want to take responsability for your kids? thats fine,but dont be a trash bag and talk bad to your family about her,thinking they will not find out! She was smart and brave to show he's family what a fake he is.
The truth has a way of bubbling to the top. Whether it be the children asking for a visit as it 'actually' happened the ex-MIL wants to advocate for her son. The wife could be blunt and totally honest or be coy and let it come in 'drips and drabs'. How to humiliate the MIL in her ignorance to drag it on. At least the truth was clear. A cat and mouse game is what the ex wanted? What was going to be his 'endgame'? Just that the wife look like a witch? So Grandma wants a visit or the kids do. A phone call away from the crap hitting the fan. It came out in the open and the burn was fast and the healing begins. 4-8 years of hurt caused by the lies, because the wife gets one story and Mom another. If the guy's family is local, he didn't believe that a natural meeting may come about? Grandma tries to get the kids to contact dad in 'secret' for his pleasure because mom is 'preventing' it, that sh*tshow follows pot/kettle black? Mil gets an education on the truth.
My ex moved back to his mother's apartment in the projects of Boston. He only had to pay $35 per week child support because he was unemployed. He didn't even show up in court. After 1 full year of no financial support my current husband started adoption process. I needed him to sign relinquish of parental rights. I sent the paperwork along with a prepaid FedEx envelope to send it back. I kept calling. He kept saying he'd sign because the state I lived in would put out a warrant for him because not paying child support for one full year was abandonment. If he showed up in court tobcontest he would be arrested. He stopped answering my twice a day calls. Several days of his mother only answering. She asked why all ofcs sudden I'm calling what did I want. I needed relinquishment of parental rights signed and notarized. She told me I can't do that! Oh yes I can! No child support for the year and 4 months at that moment. I received the signed paperwork the next day. My ex sister in law called me demand to know why his mother kicked him out. I told her truth. Turns out he was telling her he couldn't help with bills,groceries and rent (in the projects) because he was sending all his money to me.
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