Man Spends 2 Months “Having Fun” Before Proposing To His Ex, Is Shocked She Doesn’t Want Him Back

There’s no universal rule for when couples in serious relationships should take the next step. Every relationship moves at its own pace, and only people involved in it can decide when they’re ready to commit to each other for (hopefully) a lifetime. Sometimes this can take a while, which can be completely fine if both partners are on the same page about it. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for this couple. Their timelines were completely out of sync, with the girlfriend already waiting for a proposal for a few years, while the boyfriend wasn’t feeling in any rush. Tired of waiting, she decided to break things off, which, as a result, has awakened something in her partner.

Some couples wait longer before taking the next step

Image credits: photohobo / freepik (not the actual photo)

As did this one, but the girlfriend got tired of waiting and decided to break things off

Image credits: goffkein / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ThrowRA_Seashe

There are risks associated with waiting too long to pop the question

How long people wait to get down on one knee varies significantly among couples. But on average, 1-3 years seems to be a common engagement window for couples. Age is a significant factor when it comes to this, as younger couples may take longer to get engaged due to their careers, financial situation, and personal maturity. Older couples often take less time to commit since they have a better idea of what they want from a relationship. 

Therefore, it’s not odd for younger couples to wait longer for a proposal, around 2-5 years. The delay usually means that they’re simply waiting for the right moment when life changes, like new jobs, moving, and money issues, are out of the way. As long as the postponement is not due to relationship problems and marriage is still very much in the plans, postponing the engagement shouldn’t be a big deal. 

That said, there are risks associated with waiting too long to pop the question, like built-up resentment. 

“Partners may find it challenging to fully enjoy their time together when they feel like they are on different pages, and underlying issues are causing feelings of negativity. Additionally, emotional tension can spill over into physical intimacy, affecting the sexual and romantic aspect of the relationship,” says therapist Brittany Pinto, LMSW. 

Luckily, in healthy relationships, this can be resolved with communication. “One partner may be waiting for a milestone, like paying off their student loan or becoming more settled in their job. The other partner might be basing the timeline on emotion. If they feel ready, they may not want to wait,” says Amy Morin, LCSW. A direct conversation about this can squash the built-up resentment and allow the couple to focus on what’s happening in the relationship now rather than what the next step is. 

Image credits: Meg Aghamyan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

“Sometimes, it’s healthy and freeing for individuals to move forward”

If no serious conversations about future plans or marriage are happening, it’s normal that doubt might be setting in. Of course, no one wants to be pressured into such a commitment, but waiting for something you want that isn’t going to happen isn’t too appealing either. 

“Reiterate to your partner the reason that it’s important for you to get married. It’s important for your partner to understand why this means so much to you. Focusing on the strengths and positive moments can help shift the overall tone of the relationship,” Pinto advised. 

Sometimes, when communication doesn’t help and resentment continues to build, the best thing to do might be to accept the fact that the proposal isn’t going to happen and move on. 

“There are times when I’ve seen people decide to move on when a proposal didn’t happen. Sometimes, it’s healthy and freeing for individuals to move forward,” Morin says. 

Many commenters supported the woman’s decision to move on

Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: garetsvisual / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ThrowRA_Seashe

After the update, commenters were cheering even harder for the breakup

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