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113
Woman Confused Why Ex Is So Upset She Didn’t Keep Their Baby After He Disappeared For 16 Years
Interview With AuthorThe decision to give your child up for adoption is a difficult and deeply personal one. Nobody can do it for you. Whatever you choose to do, nobody is in a position to judge you if they haven’t been in your shoes.
An anonymous woman opened up to the AITA online group about how she had given up her baby for adoption after getting pregnant as a teenager. Now, sixteen years later, she ran into her ex who had abandoned her. The man began guilt-tripping her for supposedly denying him his chance at fatherhood but got shut down.
Now, the woman turned to the internet to get a verdict on whether she handled the situation right. You’ll find the full story below. Bored Panda reached out to the author of the story to hear more about what happened. She was kind enough to answer our questions. You’ll find our full interview with her, including why people must stop forcing their ideals on young mothers-to-be, and instead support them.
RELATED:
Teenage pregnancy can be very scary, especially if your partner abandons you
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
An anonymous woman revealed how her ex confronted her 16 years after she gave her baby up for adoption
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Drazen Nesic / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Katie Treadway / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MuchComment1327
Around a quarter of people living in the US know a relative or friend who has adopted
The Adoption Network explains that between 2% to 4% of adults living in the United States have adopted a child. Around half of these families have both biological and adopted children.
Overall, around 5 million Americans are adopted, including children adopted by relatives or stepparents. Around 115k adoptions took place in the US in 2019, according to a study conducted by the National Council of Adoption. This number included foster care, stepparent, and private placement adoptions.
As per a 2019 YouGov survey, a quarter of respondents had a friend or family member who was adopted. Meanwhile, 24% of people said that they had considered adopting a child at some point in their lives.
Referring to the US Department of Health and Human Services’ data, The Adoption Network notes that there are almost 114k foster children eligible for adoption. 54.2k foster kids were adopted in 2021 alone.
However, there are around 391k kids in foster care in the US overall, with 214k new individuals entering the system in 2022.
The average child waiting for adoption is almost 8 years old, while 52% of children who enter foster care were aged 6 or older in 2019.
Roughly 60% of kids spend between two to five years in the system before finally being adopted while 11% spend five or more years. The sad reality is that some children are never adopted at all.
“People need to stop forcing their ideals on young mothers-to-be, especially teens who get accidentally pregnant. They need support, not judgmental comments”
Image credits: Natalia Blauth / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
We asked the author of the story for her thoughts on why her ex insisted on wanting to be a father now of all times. “I don’t know. Mike has never reached out to me in the past since I told him I was pregnant. The only contact I had was from his parents telling me Mike had left out of state because he had a bright future that the baby and I wouldn’t ruin,” she opened up to Bored Panda.
“That was the last time I ever heard from him. I suspect he felt guilt when he saw me with my stepson and thought ‘Oh, that’s the family I missed out on.’ But who knows.”
The author shared some practical advice with any moms who find themselves in a situation similar to hers. “My advice is simple: Any mom regardless of age should do what she feels is best for herself. Not what others expect of them. For me, it was putting the child up for adoption,” she said.
“I would never shame someone for choosing abortion or to raise the child. Those are valid and brave options. So long as it is respecting their own lives and not bringing a child into the world to suffer or be mistreated, then it should be the mother’s decision. Unless the father is involved, then it’s a joint decision.”
According to the author, honesty is the key to maintaining proper boundaries with one’s child and adoptive parents. “My bio-child was 13 when we talked about me being his biological mother. He had some hard questions and I never lied. I told him I wasn’t ready to be his mother and I couldn’t give him the love and care he deserved. But I know people who already loved him even before birth. Those were the people meant to be his parents.”
She added that “people need to stop forcing their ideals on young mothers-to-be, especially teens who get accidentally pregnant.”
The author continued: “They need support, not judgmental comments. With the right support and guidance, they can push forward in life. I finished college and I have a professional life despite finishing high school in home school because I was pregnant.”
You cannot abandon someone, ignore them for years, and then suddenly have a change of heart without ringing alarm bells
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Most often, life doesn’t turn out like in the movies. The challenges you face are far more complicated and there usually aren’t neat resolutions. But in some cases, you’ll find that there are kind, caring, and supportive people around you who are willing to lend a helping hand when you need it the most.
This is what happened in the viral story author’s case. She shared how her parents and their family friends came together to make the adoption process as smooth and pain-free as possible. They also allowed the woman to remain in her birth child’s life as a ‘special aunt.’ So, she was able to develop a relationship of sorts with her son throughout the years, while also being mindful not to overstep any boundaries.
Unfortunately, not everyone is mindful of other people’s boundaries. Case in point, the author’s ex began guilt-tripping her for giving up their child for adoption, even though he was the one who left her to fend for herself when pregnant.
He had 16 years to show any interest in the woman and child’s welfare, but he only spoke up when he accidentally ran into her. Overall, this shows that he likely isn’t genuine about wanting to be a father. He might potentially be playing the situation up for attention or to look like the victim for other purposes.
The cherry on top is that the man called out his ex for giving up the child for adoption on social media. However, he didn’t quite get the reaction he was hoping for. While some folks stood up for him, many other people in his social circle were quick to point out that he was in no position to say anything, as he made the decision to abandon his pregnant girlfriend.
What are your thoughts about the entire situation, dear Pandas? Do you think the woman handled everything the right way or would you have done anything differently if you were in her shoes? Do you know anyone who has been adopted or has adopted a child? How would you react if an ex suddenly started forcing their way back into your life?
As the story went viral, the author went into more detail about the context of her sensitive situation
The vast majority of people who read the tale came out in support of the woman
Not everyone understood the context the same way. Here’s their overly judgmental take
In navigating difficult family dynamics, the importance of understanding and respecting boundaries is crucial. The story of a mother who dealt with an unsupportive ex-partner reflects the nuances of familial relationships, much like the experiences of dealing with a stubborn family member during a family gathering.
In both cases, individuals find a sense of balance and peace, sometimes through unexpected acts or unintended responsibilities, comparable to how a baby became an unwitting agent of retaliation.
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What do you think ?
Broccoli 10 months ago
They didn’t read it. I’m not sure if their peanut sized brains have enough neurons to take in that much information at once
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Dre Mosley 10 months ago (edited)
Once you walk away from your unborn kid, you pretty much give up having a say in anything. She was under no obligation to tell you she was giving him up.
Jessie 9 months ago
Legally speaking the boy isn’t even his son since he obviously never signed his name on the birth certificate, OP is officially the boy’s only registered parent.
Load More Replies...
Kim Shannon 10 months ago
HE ABANDONED HER WHEN SHE NEEDED HIM THE MOST. He forced her to make a life changing decision on her own. He made his decision, which was the easy way out, and had the audacity to laugh about it. She is so NTA.
Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
Anyone else just skip to the YTA’s, just to laugh at the insane mental gymnastics these people use to come to their bizarre conclusions?
Mike F 10 months ago (edited)
Gotta love the YTA peanut gallery. The dude did a disappearing act when he found out she was pregnant and him and his flying monkeys want to paint HER the bad guy. She should tell Houdini that he had his chance and bailed and get off his pity pot. ETA gives us Mikes a bad name!
Janelle Collard 10 months ago
AH Mike got her pregnant, disappeared + had his family cover for him. Even the court couldn't find him! So *how* was OP supposed to tell him about the adoption? The YTAs never learned logic OR didn't read the whole article, just skipped to the comments. 🙄🤦♂️ OMFG
Bina Wei 10 months ago
This. I was baffled when that came up. "You should have contacted/told him." How?? He was completely unreachable and they tried.
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painttheyellowsubgreen 10 months ago (edited)
I'm just trying to understand the thought process. Dr. Douch looks up at a random woman and teenage boy, squints, gets the hamster wheel rolling and realizes, hey! that's the chick I got pregnant 16 years ago and left when I found out, cackling like a hyena. Let me just run her down in the parking garage to congratulate her on what an amazing kid I made. What!?! The audacity of that chick giving my kid away without telling me after I completely ghosted her and had my family cover for me and didn't bother finding out why the court sent like a million letters to me. Let me take my sob story to The Social Media where everyone loves me and will totally be on my side.
Sarah Belt 10 months ago
I'd love a follow up on him losing his medical license for stalking, harassment, and libel. Yikes!
Load More Replies...
Stygtand 10 months ago (edited)
So she is the “bad christian” when he is the one who ran off when she was pregnant. Yup thats exactly what i would expect from a holier than thou christian sponge cake. Some of these people have the IQ of a wet chalkbord.
CP 10 months ago
That "bad Christian" part was dripping with misogyny for me. Reminded me that women in Christianity are raised just to take it from men and smile.
Load More Replies...
Granny's Thoughts 10 months ago
OP sure dodged a bullet with AH Mike. She made the best choice for her and the baby and has great family support. Very brave to give the baby up.
sturmwesen 10 months ago
Did the YTA even read? Sperm donor had every chance to veto adoption and step up
Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
I don’t even want to put the label “sperm donor” on the this one. The actual sperm donors I know are altruistic and intentionally heartfelt people. This dude was a sperm dropper.
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StumblingThroughLife 10 months ago
"I'll break your fantasy for a minute" was my favourite OP response, lol. These YTA peeps sound like those pro-life nutjobs that seem to be bountiful in certain places - and now they add adoption to their list of 'How DARE YOUs'. 🙄 OP 100%NTA. She should block her ex bf's family, who had no issue with their golden boy ditching a pregnant young teen, after giving them the finger. The SM mentioned, sounds like FB - a toxic platform I stopped using nearly 15 years ago, after seeing so much bullying going on.
DC and S 10 months ago (edited)
Yeah, that whole "I am pro choice BUT I'm not actually at all and I just want you to read what I say so I will pretend to be on your side and then I'm going to shame you for my blatantly false belief that a child is always best raised (alone) by the birth Mom and that she alone is responsible for the child's mental well-being. The dad abandoning him obviously would have no impact on his life as the mom is at fault for anything and everything wrong.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
If your own mates call you out publicly for being the one to run off smirking in the past, you stfu, sit down and re-evaluate your life.
Gavin Johnson 10 months ago
What is it with ‘I’m the victim’ idiots. When you make your bed, you lie in it. You don’t get to leave the building, travel the world, return to the village after sixteen years away and then complain that you’ve lost your bed. Own your choices, be a stand up human being and don’t blame others for the outcomes that come your way.
Lena Flising 10 months ago (edited)
Mike makes it sound like OP gave away HIS son for adoption, and then became step-mom to someone else's kid the next day. OP said she married 6 years ago.There's quite a difference between a girl at 16, and a woman in her 20's. If he wanted to be a parent, he could have showed up at the court hearings. He did not, even though the court tried to contact him. The YTA voices makes it sound like OP and the adoptive parents keep Mike away from their son. But it's clear that the boy has knowledge about his birth dad, he has even contacted Mike's parents once. No-one is keeping secrets about it.
Bacon Tentacles 10 months ago
"Not everyone understood the context the same way. Here’s their overly judgmental take". HAHAHAHAHAHA. That was brilliant. Well played, Jonas. Well played. And, yeah, NTA. Not even remotely.
SheamusFanFrom1987 10 months ago (edited)
To Mike, his delulu dingbucket family members and the sh*tbag "friends" that criticized OP's move to give the child up for adoption and are now posting as YTAs, I hope you will forever wallow in your shared self-sh*ttiness (can't even call it self-righteousness at this point) as OP and the child she gave a good home live their best lives. Obviously, Mikey Boy is trying to save face after running out from OP and his kid when they needed him the most and his dumbsh*t bunch will only listen to his side of the story. Even mutual and his own HS friends fed him a serious dose of reality check antibiotics that he was the one laughing about d*i*cking and ditching. I hope OP and the kid continue to live their best lives while Miscreant Mike and his rancid bunch will hopefully continue to get bashed by their mutual friends and acquaintances for trying to play victim. Typical that they'd be the religion-monger bunch as well that makes me ashamed to be sharing said religion as well!!! >:-(
Chris Wieder 10 months ago
I hate to tell OP, but Mike's family found her post and are bouncing the YTAs around. There's no other reasonable explanation. And to the YTAs, GTFOH. NTA X1000. This prick walks away, disappearing to the point that a court summons couldn't find him (which means the POS family helped too, figured you might need that spelled out since you CLEARLY doesn't get subtext), leaving a scared 16 year old pregnant, while he's free enough to go on with his life, laughing about the situation (and the life, by the way, MFers) he created. Then in a chance meeting 16 years later, he decides he wants to try and build a bond, and the OP protects the kid's privacy, but lets the kid know exactly where to find this bio dad/POS when he might want to, and somehow you think SHE'S the AH? Who tells you people to remember to breathe? I kind of wish they'd stop.
Tereza Cervenakova 2 months ago
Can we all appreciate how much this woman has put her s**t together? What started as a teen mistake turned into happy event, no grudges in her life, established boundaries, nice relationship with step-kids and their mother... It's refreshing to read post from someone like that....
Chris Riccardino 4 months ago
Seems to me Mike gave up on the kid first, no? He denied himself the chance to be a father.
LittleTeapot 9 months ago
Life well done, OP. Thank you for being an amazing example of growth in adversity.
EJN 10 months ago
I cannot believe what some of those YTA people said! She tried to contact him!!! He hid!!! Get it? He did not give a flying f**k about her or the baby during all of those years. If it were me, I would have told him to f**k off when he approached me. She did good for herself and her son. She did not raise other kids instead of her own. She is part of her step-children's lives due to her relationship with their father. Get it straight folks! Your case (if you were a child in a similar situation like her bio^son) is DIFFERENT!! It is not the same so do not apply your stuff to other people!
rv branham 10 months ago
definitely, when you have dealth with yr medical issues, report that motherless f**k to the state medical board, & give a full report & provide screen shots & evidence of the online stalking & abuse
Ronnie Beaton 10 months ago
NTA. Tell this "Mike" person and his family to go f**k themselves, repeatedly.
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 10 months ago
I'm surprised he didn't know, in my country both biological parents have to sign they don't want the baby before it can be adopted
V 10 months ago
Like the story says, neither she, now the courts were able to contact the bio father, so after 6 months he was deemed to have abandoned the child and they were able to proceed with the formal adoption.
Load More Replies...
Beef Brisket 10 months ago
I'm surprised, having not found the father for the court appearance, the court didn't contact the baby's grandparents about the pending adoption. I'm assuming "Rob" was also 16, or a minor. It would therefore stand to reason that they would know where he was (prolly in his bedroom!) or could also want to petition to adopt. Since Rob didn't know the baby had been adopted seems like they never reached out to his parents or tried that hard to find him--especially for a minor going to court, his parents would be informed. Maybe he was 18+. I'm not saying what the LW did was wrong, I just don't buy that the court couldn't find him or ever contracted his parents.
V 10 months ago
It sounds like his family has money. It makes a difference when temporarily disappearing someone.
Load More Replies...
Svenne O'Lotta 10 months ago
If Mike truly thought the boy was his son, it was deeply unethical for him to participate in the medical procedure. Shít doctor, shít father, shít human.
Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
NTA for eternity. That jerk Mike ran away from his pregnant 16 yo g/f. She made the best decision for herself and her baby by giving him up for adoption. They tried to find him and so did the court before his rights were stripped. He has no right to b***h and moan about anything and so funny that the old school friends slammed him for it.
Xenia Harley 10 months ago
OP really should get the Mother Of the Year award. She has put the children's needs first in all of these situations! She was amazingly mature about her choice as a teen and she has been superb as a step mom and co-parent. She really made the correct choice, the only choice she could make, not giving out the bio child's info to the sperm donor. Mike leaves a lot to be desired as a "father"! The best thing he can do now is leave the son alone, as Mike sounds toxic.
sharyn turnicky 10 months ago
You say he works at the hospital, not he is a doctor. I suspect Mikey is still parents golden child who is still a nothing burger.
James King 10 months ago
Yet another "I know I'm 100% NTA, but I need validation from complete strangers on the internet."
Annett Nyrud 10 months ago
The worst thing here is the realization that places exist where sperm donors, and not just the person carrying the child (without being a surrogate), have any say in what happen to the babies (abortion, adoption ...)
Broccoli 10 months ago
They didn’t read it. I’m not sure if their peanut sized brains have enough neurons to take in that much information at once
Load More Replies... Dre Mosley 10 months ago (edited)
Once you walk away from your unborn kid, you pretty much give up having a say in anything. She was under no obligation to tell you she was giving him up.
Jessie 9 months ago
Legally speaking the boy isn’t even his son since he obviously never signed his name on the birth certificate, OP is officially the boy’s only registered parent.
Load More Replies... Kim Shannon 10 months ago
HE ABANDONED HER WHEN SHE NEEDED HIM THE MOST. He forced her to make a life changing decision on her own. He made his decision, which was the easy way out, and had the audacity to laugh about it. She is so NTA.
Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
Anyone else just skip to the YTA’s, just to laugh at the insane mental gymnastics these people use to come to their bizarre conclusions?
Mike F 10 months ago (edited)
Gotta love the YTA peanut gallery. The dude did a disappearing act when he found out she was pregnant and him and his flying monkeys want to paint HER the bad guy. She should tell Houdini that he had his chance and bailed and get off his pity pot. ETA gives us Mikes a bad name!
Janelle Collard 10 months ago
AH Mike got her pregnant, disappeared + had his family cover for him. Even the court couldn't find him! So *how* was OP supposed to tell him about the adoption? The YTAs never learned logic OR didn't read the whole article, just skipped to the comments. 🙄🤦♂️ OMFG
Bina Wei 10 months ago
This. I was baffled when that came up. "You should have contacted/told him." How?? He was completely unreachable and they tried.
Load More Replies... painttheyellowsubgreen 10 months ago (edited)
I'm just trying to understand the thought process. Dr. Douch looks up at a random woman and teenage boy, squints, gets the hamster wheel rolling and realizes, hey! that's the chick I got pregnant 16 years ago and left when I found out, cackling like a hyena. Let me just run her down in the parking garage to congratulate her on what an amazing kid I made. What!?! The audacity of that chick giving my kid away without telling me after I completely ghosted her and had my family cover for me and didn't bother finding out why the court sent like a million letters to me. Let me take my sob story to The Social Media where everyone loves me and will totally be on my side.
Sarah Belt 10 months ago
I'd love a follow up on him losing his medical license for stalking, harassment, and libel. Yikes!
Load More Replies... Stygtand 10 months ago (edited)
So she is the “bad christian” when he is the one who ran off when she was pregnant. Yup thats exactly what i would expect from a holier than thou christian sponge cake. Some of these people have the IQ of a wet chalkbord.
CP 10 months ago
That "bad Christian" part was dripping with misogyny for me. Reminded me that women in Christianity are raised just to take it from men and smile.
Load More Replies... Granny's Thoughts 10 months ago
OP sure dodged a bullet with AH Mike. She made the best choice for her and the baby and has great family support. Very brave to give the baby up.
sturmwesen 10 months ago
Did the YTA even read? Sperm donor had every chance to veto adoption and step up
Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
I don’t even want to put the label “sperm donor” on the this one. The actual sperm donors I know are altruistic and intentionally heartfelt people. This dude was a sperm dropper.
Load More Replies... StumblingThroughLife 10 months ago
"I'll break your fantasy for a minute" was my favourite OP response, lol. These YTA peeps sound like those pro-life nutjobs that seem to be bountiful in certain places - and now they add adoption to their list of 'How DARE YOUs'. 🙄 OP 100%NTA. She should block her ex bf's family, who had no issue with their golden boy ditching a pregnant young teen, after giving them the finger. The SM mentioned, sounds like FB - a toxic platform I stopped using nearly 15 years ago, after seeing so much bullying going on.
DC and S 10 months ago (edited)
Yeah, that whole "I am pro choice BUT I'm not actually at all and I just want you to read what I say so I will pretend to be on your side and then I'm going to shame you for my blatantly false belief that a child is always best raised (alone) by the birth Mom and that she alone is responsible for the child's mental well-being. The dad abandoning him obviously would have no impact on his life as the mom is at fault for anything and everything wrong.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
If your own mates call you out publicly for being the one to run off smirking in the past, you stfu, sit down and re-evaluate your life.
Gavin Johnson 10 months ago
What is it with ‘I’m the victim’ idiots. When you make your bed, you lie in it. You don’t get to leave the building, travel the world, return to the village after sixteen years away and then complain that you’ve lost your bed. Own your choices, be a stand up human being and don’t blame others for the outcomes that come your way.
Lena Flising 10 months ago (edited)
Mike makes it sound like OP gave away HIS son for adoption, and then became step-mom to someone else's kid the next day. OP said she married 6 years ago.There's quite a difference between a girl at 16, and a woman in her 20's. If he wanted to be a parent, he could have showed up at the court hearings. He did not, even though the court tried to contact him. The YTA voices makes it sound like OP and the adoptive parents keep Mike away from their son. But it's clear that the boy has knowledge about his birth dad, he has even contacted Mike's parents once. No-one is keeping secrets about it.
Bacon Tentacles 10 months ago
"Not everyone understood the context the same way. Here’s their overly judgmental take". HAHAHAHAHAHA. That was brilliant. Well played, Jonas. Well played. And, yeah, NTA. Not even remotely.
SheamusFanFrom1987 10 months ago (edited)
To Mike, his delulu dingbucket family members and the sh*tbag "friends" that criticized OP's move to give the child up for adoption and are now posting as YTAs, I hope you will forever wallow in your shared self-sh*ttiness (can't even call it self-righteousness at this point) as OP and the child she gave a good home live their best lives. Obviously, Mikey Boy is trying to save face after running out from OP and his kid when they needed him the most and his dumbsh*t bunch will only listen to his side of the story. Even mutual and his own HS friends fed him a serious dose of reality check antibiotics that he was the one laughing about d*i*cking and ditching. I hope OP and the kid continue to live their best lives while Miscreant Mike and his rancid bunch will hopefully continue to get bashed by their mutual friends and acquaintances for trying to play victim. Typical that they'd be the religion-monger bunch as well that makes me ashamed to be sharing said religion as well!!! >:-(
Chris Wieder 10 months ago
I hate to tell OP, but Mike's family found her post and are bouncing the YTAs around. There's no other reasonable explanation. And to the YTAs, GTFOH. NTA X1000. This prick walks away, disappearing to the point that a court summons couldn't find him (which means the POS family helped too, figured you might need that spelled out since you CLEARLY doesn't get subtext), leaving a scared 16 year old pregnant, while he's free enough to go on with his life, laughing about the situation (and the life, by the way, MFers) he created. Then in a chance meeting 16 years later, he decides he wants to try and build a bond, and the OP protects the kid's privacy, but lets the kid know exactly where to find this bio dad/POS when he might want to, and somehow you think SHE'S the AH? Who tells you people to remember to breathe? I kind of wish they'd stop.
Tereza Cervenakova 2 months ago
Can we all appreciate how much this woman has put her s**t together? What started as a teen mistake turned into happy event, no grudges in her life, established boundaries, nice relationship with step-kids and their mother... It's refreshing to read post from someone like that....
Chris Riccardino 4 months ago
Seems to me Mike gave up on the kid first, no? He denied himself the chance to be a father.
LittleTeapot 9 months ago
Life well done, OP. Thank you for being an amazing example of growth in adversity.
EJN 10 months ago
I cannot believe what some of those YTA people said! She tried to contact him!!! He hid!!! Get it? He did not give a flying f**k about her or the baby during all of those years. If it were me, I would have told him to f**k off when he approached me. She did good for herself and her son. She did not raise other kids instead of her own. She is part of her step-children's lives due to her relationship with their father. Get it straight folks! Your case (if you were a child in a similar situation like her bio^son) is DIFFERENT!! It is not the same so do not apply your stuff to other people!
rv branham 10 months ago
definitely, when you have dealth with yr medical issues, report that motherless f**k to the state medical board, & give a full report & provide screen shots & evidence of the online stalking & abuse
Ronnie Beaton 10 months ago
NTA. Tell this "Mike" person and his family to go f**k themselves, repeatedly.
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 10 months ago
I'm surprised he didn't know, in my country both biological parents have to sign they don't want the baby before it can be adopted
V 10 months ago
Like the story says, neither she, now the courts were able to contact the bio father, so after 6 months he was deemed to have abandoned the child and they were able to proceed with the formal adoption.
Load More Replies... Beef Brisket 10 months ago
I'm surprised, having not found the father for the court appearance, the court didn't contact the baby's grandparents about the pending adoption. I'm assuming "Rob" was also 16, or a minor. It would therefore stand to reason that they would know where he was (prolly in his bedroom!) or could also want to petition to adopt. Since Rob didn't know the baby had been adopted seems like they never reached out to his parents or tried that hard to find him--especially for a minor going to court, his parents would be informed. Maybe he was 18+. I'm not saying what the LW did was wrong, I just don't buy that the court couldn't find him or ever contracted his parents.
V 10 months ago
It sounds like his family has money. It makes a difference when temporarily disappearing someone.
Load More Replies... Svenne O'Lotta 10 months ago
If Mike truly thought the boy was his son, it was deeply unethical for him to participate in the medical procedure. Shít doctor, shít father, shít human.
Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
NTA for eternity. That jerk Mike ran away from his pregnant 16 yo g/f. She made the best decision for herself and her baby by giving him up for adoption. They tried to find him and so did the court before his rights were stripped. He has no right to b***h and moan about anything and so funny that the old school friends slammed him for it.
Xenia Harley 10 months ago
OP really should get the Mother Of the Year award. She has put the children's needs first in all of these situations! She was amazingly mature about her choice as a teen and she has been superb as a step mom and co-parent. She really made the correct choice, the only choice she could make, not giving out the bio child's info to the sperm donor. Mike leaves a lot to be desired as a "father"! The best thing he can do now is leave the son alone, as Mike sounds toxic.
sharyn turnicky 10 months ago
You say he works at the hospital, not he is a doctor. I suspect Mikey is still parents golden child who is still a nothing burger.
James King 10 months ago
Yet another "I know I'm 100% NTA, but I need validation from complete strangers on the internet."
Annett Nyrud 10 months ago
The worst thing here is the realization that places exist where sperm donors, and not just the person carrying the child (without being a surrogate), have any say in what happen to the babies (abortion, adoption ...)
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Aivaras Kaziukonis
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