Woman Tries To Guilt-Trip Her Sister Into Paying For Her Massive Wedding With 200 Guests
Being a part of the family, just like being a true friend, revolves around kindness and mutual respect. There needs to be a give-and-take dynamic. It’s a red flag if the relationship is always one-sided. For example, when someone only ever turns to you when they need financial help.
One anonymous Reddit user asked the AITA online community for advice after sharing how she and her estranged sister got into a massive argument. The OP’s sister had demanded that she use her inheritance to fund her lavish wedding. Scroll down for the story in full. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her.
It hurts to realize that someone only wants to reconnect with you because they want your money
Image credits: Prostock-studio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
A woman revealed how her estranged sister tried to pressure her into funding her lavish wedding
Image credits: stockasso / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: StudioPeace / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: thislovelylove
Healthy relationships are rooted in reciprocity, not selfishness
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
The reality is that if you want genuine relationships and to (re)connect with others, you have to build up trust over time. You cannot expect to become best friends overnight with someone whom you haven’t had contact with for years and years after falling out.
Moving on from the past is definitely possible. At the same time, you have to have realistic expectations. It takes two people to reconnect. The other person might still hold a grudge against you. Or they might see no reason to rekindle their old relationship after so much emotional turmoil in the past.
Even though it’s difficult, you have to respect the other person’s wishes. They might no longer want you back in their life. Trying to convince them otherwise won’t get you far.
Naturally, there shouldn’t be any hidden agendas behind your attempts to restore the relationship. It’s not a good look if you only see other people as instruments for your own goals. If you only pretend to be someone’s friend to try to get your hands on their inheritance, you need to take a step back and seriously reevaluate your values and priorities in life.
Of course, none of us can ignore the fact that people get a lot of use out of friendships and various relationships. They get emotional support, spot-on advice, physical help, the pleasure of good company, good vibes, etc. However, when it comes to real friendship, there’s an element of reciprocity at work. Both people get something nice out of their relationship. More than one person benefits.
On the other hand, false friends tend to show up only when they need something from you, but they always find excuses not to help you out when you need a favor. They also tend to ignore you when you’re going through a tougher period. But once things are right as rain again, they’re glad to pop back into your life.
True friends also do not pressure you to do things that are clearly against your best interests. Don’t get us wrong, friendship means that you sometimes have to tell your pals some hard truths, instead of dodging the issue. However, the advice has to be genuine. Nobody should be pushing their buddies to do something that’s going to wreck their health, relationships, or finances.
You can still have a wonderful wedding without relying on others for money. However, that takes financial discipline
Image credits: Deesha Chandra / pexels (not the actual photo)
In the meantime, if your financial burdens are getting too much, there are other ways to tackle the core issue without pressuring your estranged relatives for their part of their inheritance.
To put it simply, the foundation of having enough money revolves around two main approaches: spending less money and earning more cash.
So, if you’re saving up for a grand wedding that you want to rival the ones you see on the silver screen, your best approach is to take on more work while cutting back on unnecessary expenses.
You could, for instance, get a second (part-time) job to help you save more money quicker. Or you could ask to work more hours at your regular day job.
Alternatively, if you’ve been doing well at the office, you could always talk to your boss about a well-deserved raise! Failing that, you may want to consider applying for a higher-paying role, either at your current company or elsewhere.
In terms of savings, you have to sit down and analyze your entire budget in detail. Look at all the things that you could realistically cut back on without having to sacrifice your entire quality of life.
For example, you might have a bunch of subscriptions that you’re not currently using. Or you might be spending slightly too much on dining out vs. eating in. Even something as simple as cutting down on the amount of snacks you buy each week (we know—unthinkable!) can net you a hefty sum in savings for your wedding budget in a year’s time.
Then there are the possible cuts you can make to the wedding itself. Unless you’re lucky enough to have someone else funding your Big Day, you will have to make some sacrifices.
The reality is that you’ll have to make at least some tradeoffs. Inviting more guests vs. having more decorations. Hiring the band you absolutely love for your first dance vs. having a massive ice sculpture. Offering your guests lots of delish food vs. splurging more on drinks, etc.
You have to figure out what you cannot do without and embrace that everything else may not be perfect. But at the end of the day, what’s most important is that you’re marrying your soulmate, surrounded by the people you care about the most in the world. Right?
The author later divulged a few more details about her family
Many people thought that the author’s sister had no right to ask for her money
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It doesn't matter why you're estranged from someone. Even if they're evil incarnate, you don't get to make demands on people you cut ties with. That's the price you have to pay to distance yourself from people. If they're bad people, that's a small price to pay for being free of them. Cutting ties means cutting all ties. In both directions. It's not one sided. You only get to kindly ask people to help you, with whom you are well connected. And even then, unless it's something you're owed, like child support or another legally owed part of their wealth, you have to accept a no. That sister is delusional to think that she's owed money from her mother after abandoning her when she was in need. OP earned that money by taking care of her mom when she was ill. In my country, she'd have a legal right to be compensated fully from the inheritance if she provided aid in that way. The sister isn't owed anything. But somehow it feels that sister and dad are two sides of the same coin and that's why sis didn't want to have contact with her mom. They're both equally entitled and selfish.
I can understand picking the father in the divorce - she was a teenager and her mum was being strict, but not being there for her whilst she was dying, supporting her sister after the funeral, not keeping in contact or seeming at all sorry that their mum died, then expecting her money is crazy entitled and selfish. If you can’t afford a big wedding then don’t have a big wedding,
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She might now. Seems like she was 100% expecting a yes from OP, no matter how badly she treated her or their mother.
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I would bet the farm that sis would revert back to no contact after OP paid for wedding foolishness, because OP would have served her purpose and was no longer needed
Unhappy families are complicated, but in a way it doesn't matter what happened in the past: how they behave and speak to you here and now tells you what's happening. It's really hard as she's lonely and missing her mother, but the relationship with her father and sister isn't going to nourish her, so the OP made the right choice.
I feel so sorry for this OP. I hope she found a good support system
She left 02 major expenses for OP to pay then what exactly she paid for?
Try the Sibling Diet - lose about 140 lbs of fathead in a single decision.
The sister isn't interested in reconnecting with OP, only in money. It's completely understandable that their mom left more money to her kid who helped her out when she was ill as opposed to the one who didn't. The sister has made it clear that it is all about the money. And what is up with people expecting others to foot the bill for their weddings anyway? You and your future spouse are adults; pay for that sh!t yourselves.
Your sister called her mother a "sensitive b***h". Determined not to be like her mom, she has done just the opposite and become an insensitive one.
Not for this article... but can't you stop with those horrible, intrusive and useless ads on iOS application for stupid games ? Adds are displayed for more than 30 seconds, when you click on the cross to cancel the add you still get redirected to App Store and even when you go back to Bored Panda app the ad continues to be displayed. I am so close from uninstalling the app.
Folks, just do not make a fancy wedding when you cannot afford it. FFS..
Hand your sister a bucket and a sign that says, "Getting married. Need money for dress, venue, etc." Then direct her to the nearest street corner and tell her good luck. Because that's the only help she's getting from you. Tell her not to EVER contact you again, or there WILL be serious consequences. The same goes for your sperm donor. But keep track of both her and his behavior from this point on. Those two individually are trouble enough; if they collaborate, there's no telling what can happen. New locks, security cameras, and restraining orders are going to be part of your future.
Don't understand the bit about "spending the last few single weeks together". Am I missing something? The sister is not single.
If you're old enough to get married, then you are old enough to pay for it yourself. My husband and I paid for all of the expenses involved in our (Vegas) wedding.
I totally agree with OP on this one. The only thing (even if he is the devil himself) I don’t understand is why the dad should have taken care of her mother. They were divorced even if it was his fault.
'Helped' doesn't necessarily mean 'taking care' of someone. He was divorced from the mother, not his daughter, who probably needed some kind of support. Sometimes, emotional support is as beneficial as physical.
Load More Replies...
There's 7billion-odd people. Why run to one of the two that you know have failed you, and very thoroughly, before? Blood doesn't mean much if you don't want it to.
I don't care if you're estranged from her or everyone was one close, happy family, you feel, even the slightest bit guilty for NOT dropping a crazy amount of money on something stupid?! A wedding very much is something stupid. It's one bloody moment in time and the marriage might not even past. Take that money and either buy a house or go on vacation. In the event you choose vacation, not as stupid as a wedding, at least you spent it on yourself. She can't insult your mother, alive or not, and them say in the same sentence that's what she would have wanted.
So basically everything you THINK is made up is made up? Do you get out of the house much?
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NOPE. Her sister only contacted her for money after ignoring her for 11 years. Big Fat Nope. And YES, I think it's fair, considering the circumstances. Entitlement is high with the voluntary estranged sister.
Load More Replies... It doesn't matter why you're estranged from someone. Even if they're evil incarnate, you don't get to make demands on people you cut ties with. That's the price you have to pay to distance yourself from people. If they're bad people, that's a small price to pay for being free of them. Cutting ties means cutting all ties. In both directions. It's not one sided. You only get to kindly ask people to help you, with whom you are well connected. And even then, unless it's something you're owed, like child support or another legally owed part of their wealth, you have to accept a no. That sister is delusional to think that she's owed money from her mother after abandoning her when she was in need. OP earned that money by taking care of her mom when she was ill. In my country, she'd have a legal right to be compensated fully from the inheritance if she provided aid in that way. The sister isn't owed anything. But somehow it feels that sister and dad are two sides of the same coin and that's why sis didn't want to have contact with her mom. They're both equally entitled and selfish.
I can understand picking the father in the divorce - she was a teenager and her mum was being strict, but not being there for her whilst she was dying, supporting her sister after the funeral, not keeping in contact or seeming at all sorry that their mum died, then expecting her money is crazy entitled and selfish. If you can’t afford a big wedding then don’t have a big wedding,
Load More Replies... She might now. Seems like she was 100% expecting a yes from OP, no matter how badly she treated her or their mother.
Load More Replies... I would bet the farm that sis would revert back to no contact after OP paid for wedding foolishness, because OP would have served her purpose and was no longer needed
Unhappy families are complicated, but in a way it doesn't matter what happened in the past: how they behave and speak to you here and now tells you what's happening. It's really hard as she's lonely and missing her mother, but the relationship with her father and sister isn't going to nourish her, so the OP made the right choice.
I feel so sorry for this OP. I hope she found a good support system
She left 02 major expenses for OP to pay then what exactly she paid for?
Try the Sibling Diet - lose about 140 lbs of fathead in a single decision.
The sister isn't interested in reconnecting with OP, only in money. It's completely understandable that their mom left more money to her kid who helped her out when she was ill as opposed to the one who didn't. The sister has made it clear that it is all about the money. And what is up with people expecting others to foot the bill for their weddings anyway? You and your future spouse are adults; pay for that sh!t yourselves.
Your sister called her mother a "sensitive b***h". Determined not to be like her mom, she has done just the opposite and become an insensitive one.
Not for this article... but can't you stop with those horrible, intrusive and useless ads on iOS application for stupid games ? Adds are displayed for more than 30 seconds, when you click on the cross to cancel the add you still get redirected to App Store and even when you go back to Bored Panda app the ad continues to be displayed. I am so close from uninstalling the app.
Folks, just do not make a fancy wedding when you cannot afford it. FFS..
Hand your sister a bucket and a sign that says, "Getting married. Need money for dress, venue, etc." Then direct her to the nearest street corner and tell her good luck. Because that's the only help she's getting from you. Tell her not to EVER contact you again, or there WILL be serious consequences. The same goes for your sperm donor. But keep track of both her and his behavior from this point on. Those two individually are trouble enough; if they collaborate, there's no telling what can happen. New locks, security cameras, and restraining orders are going to be part of your future.
Don't understand the bit about "spending the last few single weeks together". Am I missing something? The sister is not single.
If you're old enough to get married, then you are old enough to pay for it yourself. My husband and I paid for all of the expenses involved in our (Vegas) wedding.
I totally agree with OP on this one. The only thing (even if he is the devil himself) I don’t understand is why the dad should have taken care of her mother. They were divorced even if it was his fault.
'Helped' doesn't necessarily mean 'taking care' of someone. He was divorced from the mother, not his daughter, who probably needed some kind of support. Sometimes, emotional support is as beneficial as physical.
Load More Replies... There's 7billion-odd people. Why run to one of the two that you know have failed you, and very thoroughly, before? Blood doesn't mean much if you don't want it to.
I don't care if you're estranged from her or everyone was one close, happy family, you feel, even the slightest bit guilty for NOT dropping a crazy amount of money on something stupid?! A wedding very much is something stupid. It's one bloody moment in time and the marriage might not even past. Take that money and either buy a house or go on vacation. In the event you choose vacation, not as stupid as a wedding, at least you spent it on yourself. She can't insult your mother, alive or not, and them say in the same sentence that's what she would have wanted.
So basically everything you THINK is made up is made up? Do you get out of the house much?
Load More Replies... NOPE. Her sister only contacted her for money after ignoring her for 11 years. Big Fat Nope. And YES, I think it's fair, considering the circumstances. Entitlement is high with the voluntary estranged sister.
Load More Replies...
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