“Am I The Jerk For Refusing To Wax A Trans Woman Because I Didn’t Want To Touch Male Genitalia?”

Every thing I’ve looked into for laser hair removal was very specific on what they would or wouldn’t do. It’s straightforward and professional.

If she doesn't do male genitalia, then she needs to advertise as such. Problem solved. Otherwise, she does appear transphobic. I do need clarification though. Why does it matter to her husband if she waxes male genitalia? It's in a professional setting. If she's professional enough to wax women, why can't she be professional enough to wax men? Is her husband trying to control her? If she has an aversion to male genitalia, why blame her husband?

YTA not for declining, but because of the personal reasons which were unnecessary and could be heard as "Penis makes me and husband see you as a man". You should have concentrated on the professional reasons. "It takes a different method to wax a penis and s*****m, and I don't have the necessary training and experience to provide this service safely. I'm happy to help you find a esthetician who is. I can do (other services) if you are interested in using your appointment slot for any of those." Also, update your service list to specify "female genitalia" in the Brazilian section.

Now I have a picture in my head of my saggy ball covered in wax. It hurts just to think it.

Weird reasoning. Seems like the practical concern (no experience) would be a bigger concern than the husband's stance on the developed state of the genital tubercle.

Trans people can be so closed-minded sometimes, the exact opposite of what they think they are. Not all, but it's the loud minority we always hear about, while the open-minded one don't get people upset, so we don't hear from them much.

I was in the NTA camp until she made all these weird, cringey excuses for why she couldn't do the service, and I switched to ESH. If you're not trained, you're not trained, and that's what you tell people. Not "oh, my husband doesn't let me touch " or any of your personal hangups. If you're a professional, make sure that all of your advertising material states what services you do provide. So yeah, everyone sucks here. Including a lot of BP's commentariat. And while I'm at it, enough with this "biological woman" rubbish. Biology is not a binary.

nta! your not a professional in that field so the patient could get hurt, also THIS IS YOU SETTING BOUNDARIES! IT IS NOT DISCRIMINATION! (i am a trans man)

A brazilian is done differently on different sets of genitals, and without proper training an aesthetician could severely hurt the client if it's performed incorrectly - as in put her in the hospital level of hurting her. Boundaries and prevention of injury are necessities for both professional and client. Note somewhere perhaps that you're only trained for one type of brazilian waxing, maybe see if there are other local aestheticians that are trained in other gentitalia waxing?

Anyone saying yta is out of their minds, trying to defend someone ELSE that chose to expose themselves to a women who was not prepared. Doesn't matter if "she's a professional", she does not have to give service to anyone for any reason. She's not discriminating for no reason, she did not want to touch a random person's penis, and felt compelled to give too many reasons because of (ahem, YOU ALL) people that will automatically defend the women just because she's trans. Being part of any group does not exclude you from laws governing sexual harassment and indescent exposure, no matter how many Internet points you get from people who have nothing to do with the situation

With enough wax, that transition can be complete. /s

The way she refused was wrong. "I'm not comfortable touching genetalia in this manner that isnt the same kind as mine" Fine. "Im not trained on your kind of genitalia" Better! "Out of respect for my husband i won't do this clearly non sexual service for you because it actually IS sexual"??? Yeah no. Just leave it at "I'm only comfortable perfotming it on the kind of genitalia i share."

I would seriously doubt the real intentions of a Transwoman that gives you no warning, no phone discussion or even doesn't makes any enquiries about what you are qualified to do. To just 'turn up' and expect you to wax his balls and d**k whilst knowing you wax women's parts is either wanting to get off on you doing it, or wants to just make a fuss. Tons of salons out there that can do both or are unisex etc. OP is totally right. Doesn't even owe him an explanation just ' I'm not qualified to do that' and that's sufficient. Why the need to embarrass and humiliate a woman like that in her profession, seriously?

I feel like I'm the only one who's going to say that yes, YTA. Not because you aren't sure how to do it; you could hurt someone if you do it wrong and as mad as she was I'm glad you didn't try to wing it. But YTA because you're offering a service to the PUBLIC that you are choosing to only offer to a select few by willful ignorance. If you offer a service, then it's up to you to know how to do that for anyone who walks in. If I were black and I went to your salon and you tell me you don't know how to braid my hair, how can you call yourself a hair stylist? Sure you might not have done it before and you don't want to mess up my hair-thanks. But this is your chosen career you should know how to work on more than just Buffy, or at least have someone on staff who does. And I don't understand the 'won't touch another man's penis' excuse. You touch vag's all day so you can touch a pee pee, too. You work with the public- you can't pick and choose who you want to work with.

This shouldn't even be a story. If she doesn't do men she doesn't do men. And, no matter what he thinks, he's a man.

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Or written another way... Man goes into beauty salon and asks manager to wax his c**k and balls,gets pissy when manager refuses and tries to ruin business.......sound about right?

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How is a genitalia sexual in this context ? That's her job to make the context professional. If waxing people makes you inconfortable don't make it your job ?