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62 Things That Are Considered Not Manly Or Feminine And People Can’t Get It
Boys don’t cry, only girls wear pink, and a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Throughout the years, we’ve been stuffed into boxes and told what is and isn’t ‘normal’ based on our gender. Thankfully, times have changed and many of these beliefs are considered outdated.
Yet, some people still have surprisingly strong and very strange opinions about what is or isn’t ‘appropriate’ for men and women. Owning a cat is gay, trail running is reserved for guys, drinking tea is feminine and don’t dare order cognac or whiskey if you’re a woman. Those are just some of the warped ideas floating about out there.
We know this because someone recently asked, “What is the dumbest thing you have been told is 'not manly' or 'not feminine,' depending on your gender?” and thousands of people didn’t hold back. Bored Panda has painstakingly gone through 4,8k comments to select the most absurd responses. Slip on your pink robe, grab some tea, buckle up and keep scrolling. Some of these posts might have you "screaming like a girl."
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
So i need to preface this, i knew the dude very well for about 3 years at this point, and I could tell when he was serious and when he wasnt. He was stone cold serious for this, legit got angry when asked about it.
He said I was gay because I kiss my wife.
The 25 other inmates (I was a guard) all were just as confused as I was.
The idea that boys wear blue and girls wear pink is about more than just clothing. Putting kids into boxes based on their gender can have far-reaching consequences that go way beyond their future fashion choices.
"If we impose rigid ideas of masculinity and femininity on children, we limit their potential and actually cause real harm in later life," says Eva Pemberton from Birmingham City University School of Education and Social Work.
Pemberton is an author and researcher who specializes in child development, with a specific focus on the negative impacts and implications of childhood gender stereotyping. The expert warns that gender stereotypes can impact not only career choices, but also contribute towards poor mental health in young people, and allow a culture of toxic masculinity and violence against women to go unchecked.
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#2
My brothers mock me for loving to cook/bake.
The way I see it, if a man can't cook himself a good meal, and do laundry and keep a clean place, he can't really take care of himself. And there's nothing less "manly" to me than not being able to take care of yourself.
#3
Barbies. Playing with long legged big breasted dolls will make you gay but a shirtless hulk hogan beef cake doll will keep you straight as an arrow.
It's a sentiment echoed by the World Health Organization (WHO). The agency's experts have previously warned that specific beliefs about masculinity may encourage boys and men to smoke, take certain other health risks, misuse alcohol or substances, and not seek help or health care.
"Such gender norms also contribute to boys and men perpetrating violence – as well as being subjected to violence themselves," notes WHO, adding that rigid gender norms also negatively affect those with diverse gender identities. These people are often subject to violence, stigma and discrimination, including in healthcare settings.
#5
FIL said using a straw in my drink at a restaurant means I'm gay.
Giraffe Sitter 52 minutes ago
Tell him he seems curiously preoccupied with cylindrical objects in men’s mouths.
#6
I’m not a cat owner. But I’ve met men and women who thinks that men with pet cats are “gay”.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago (edited)
When my now-ex and I met, he'd never had a pet in his life other than fish. I'd had dogs and cats my whole life, and had a German Shepherd and a cat when we met. He was wary and leery at first, but quickly learned how rewarding pets can be. I adopted a tuxedo kitten, Preacher, 5 years ago, and it was bromance at first sight between them. When I finally moved back home a year ago (the relationship was not good, overall) there was no way I was going to take Preacher away from my ex, even though he was ostensibly "my" cat. He and my ex love each other devotedly. My ex shares cat-safe bits of his lunches with Preacher. He has a second chair at his computer desk just for Preacher's use. Preacher is affectionate with me, but he worships my ex. Ex has completely embraced being a "cat dad" XD I think people who think it's "gay" for men to have cats have literally never had a cat in their lives.
Nowadays, more and more young people are choosing to identify differently to the gender assigned to them at birth. Many of them already face a struggle fitting in or feeling accepted. Gender stereotyping and discrimination can make life even more difficult for them, and in turn, negatively affect their mental health.
As Pemberton explains, children’s attitudes towards gender are fully formed by the age of seven.
"From an early age, they latch onto stereotypes as a way to categorise and make sense of the world," says the expert. "Their social need to belong and fit in with their ascribed gender - along with the constant ways gender roles are reinforced to them throughout society - can be difficult for parents and caregivers to challenge, even with the best intentions."
#7
My mom refused to buy me a Macho King Wrestling Buddy because it was only for boys. Also, she would tear up my comic books and posters because they were only for boys. It upsets her to no end that I have adult money and am able to buy whatever I want. Oh and I finally found the Randy Savage Wrestling Buddy. I was so happy I when I bought him that I cried LOL even the dude who sold it to me was teary eyed.
#8
I was called a sissy on several occasions for using lotion. I get cracked hands and feet in winter without it. It hurts.
#9
When I was with my son getting him a phone when he was a high school kid, he chose rose gold for his phone colour and the sales person asked him if he was sure, my son replied that he was, so the sales person told him he was brave. It was a stupid moment.
Experts warn that we all hold unconscious biases, and many of us may be guilty of gender stereotyping without even realizing it. Unconscious bias happens when our subconscious makes assumptions about people based on their background or perceived background, explains a report released by the Institute of Physics (IOP).
That report goes on to note that we can be unconsciously influenced by a stereotype even if we do not rationally subscribe to it. This is because our brains have to process huge amounts of information every second. "In order to avoid being overwhelmed, our brains have to make assumptions based on previous experience and find patterns to speed up decision making," say IOP's experts.
#10
My husband was told that drinking tea was gay. I was like, yeah tea is gay; That’s why there’s only 1.5 billion people in China. The tea has been rendering them gay and unable to produce for thousands of years.
#11
My sister and I were at a distillery and we both got whiskey. Someone said she shouldn’t be drinking whiskey “because you’re a lady”.
Genuinely the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a minute.
#12
Being French (I am French)
Drinking wine
Enjoying foreign films
Loving art
Really having any culture. The US is a strange place .
Awareness and introspection are key to combatting our own unconscious biases, and thus doing away with harmful gender stereotypes.
"Even just creating awareness of the issue and working towards challenging stereotypes in whichever arena of life they arise, we can all make a positive contribution to tackling gender inequalities in later life," says Pemberton.
But retailers, marketers and the media need to come on board too...
#13
That if a boy does not get a blue lunch box he is not getting a manly one.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
I had a blue lunchbox in elementary school, because blue was my favorite color XD My Trapper Keeper also had a snarling wolf on it. No ponies or kittens for me XD
#14
Told I (cis woman) drive like a man because I have my legs open... Like what? Am I supposed to sit side saddle in the driver's seat?
#15
Dinosaurs are for boys. Dolphins are for girls. So, I found my way to sharks. Grey area. And then I realized it was stupid and now two of my special interests are dinosaurs and sharks.
Too often, toys, clothing, books and films are divided into "for boys" and "for girls." This is sending the wrong message to children.
“When all of the marketing consistently revolves around gender, it teaches our kids to look at the opposite... as a different species, because in order to market gendered toys, you have to point out the difference and not the similarities,” warns Melissa Atkins Wardy, author of Redefining Girlie.
#16
Reading books from the Star Wars extended universe. This was back in the 90s.
Edit: I was told it wasn't feminine. Sci-fi/Fantasy were often considered boy genres in the 90s in the same way romance is still largely written by and marketed for women now. Shake it up, my dudes!
#17
Having a sweet tooth. Only women are supposed to like chocolate, apparently.
Howl's sleeping castle 1 hour ago
What? I was told women are supposed to like tangy more than men. And it annoys me because I prefer sweets over tangy.
#18
I (female) was driving with one hand on the wheel and my ex said I drive like a man.
Howl's sleeping castle 1 hour ago
I was told I drink like a man because I was drinking cold drink out of a glass bottle while holding the neck.
#19
I became a stay at home dad. My wife got a once in a lifetime chance to pursue a career she’d had to abandon while she was 6 months pregnant. The only way for her to take advantage of it was for her to leave her job and become a student again, and my bad retail job could never pay for day care. So, I’ve spent the last 18 years being treated like a bad person and insufficient man for taking care of my kids so that my wife could go to school and get a job that got us everything we have today. And unlike the father in law who treats me like trash, my sons like me.
#21
Hearing protection isn’t masculine, real men go deaf. I was in the Navy, none of the guys in the engine room wore it.
#23
Years ago when I was a teen, I went to my best friend’s family reunion at a park in July. It was 85+ degrees outside and every, single person there was wearing sandals except for her uncle and two cousins, both boys of about 8 and 10 years old, who were wearing boots. I asked my friend why, she shushed me quickly, then said when we were out of earshot that it was a whole thing at last year’s reunion.
Apparently, everyone said it was cruel and their father countered that he was “raising men” and “men don’t wear sandals.”.
Chich the witch 38 minutes ago (edited)
Just makes sense. People like him are usually hardcore christians and we all know Jesus loved a good pair of workbooks :P
#24
Asking for help when you’re lost. Apparently I was supposed to telepathically know where I was going or meet my end trying.
#25
A while ago I had a picture of myself with my pet cats on my dating profile. I was told by a coworker that it wasnt manly enough. Well if she can't accept me and my kitters id rather be single!
Jeolas1 15 minutes ago
This is so weird to me. If I saw a dating profile of a man with cats, I'd have a closer look asap.There's very few things I'm more immediately drawn to than to a man showing affection to cats. While I know that at second glance he might still turn out an ässhole, him openly showing affection to cats eliminates several kinds of potential ässholery in one stroke!
#26
It isn’t manly to care about your hygiene.
#27
In kindergarten, which was like 100 years ago, we had a girls side and a boys side of one corner of the classroom for playtime. The girls side was all pink, included aprons and a big play kitchen and plastic dishes and cups. The boys side was Tonka trucks and Army men. I remember, as a female, being so pissed off. I wanted the Tonka trucks and Army men, the hell with the kitchen. That year's experience influenced me more than any books, lectures and stories ever did about the roles of men and women in society. I purposely ventured over to the boys side one day and was reprimanded by the teacher, told that was NOT feminine.
#28
Drinking certain beverages.
I enjoy cognac; I drink it more than any other form of alcohol.
I've been told that enjoying a glass of cognac after dinner is a "masculine" thing and it's not ladylike, and I should have some wine.
Giraffe Sitter 53 minutes ago
People should keep their opinions to themselves and let you drink what you like. I’d say you should throw your drink in their face but that’d be a waste of good cognac. Get a cheap glass of house red and throw that.
#30
I’ve been told it’s not manly to talk as much as I do… I think half of society wants men to be Terminator robots 😭.
Howl's sleeping castle 1 hour ago
I am guilty for saying this. I am a chatterbox. My ex was way more talkative than me. My issue wasn't the talking. It was the same 8 stories being told again and again. One day i told him that he talks more than a girl. Not that it made any impact on him.
#31
Used to be called gay for having an umbrella. Like it’s gay to not want to get soaked. I did grow up 80s and 90s and everything was gay to us to be fair.
It was hard not to call something not good gay even when I had a gay housemate but he was chill with it and now don’t use gay to mean bad.
#32
I never wanted to wear dresses when I was a girl/teenager. My mom hated that. Now if I ever wear one she makes a big deal about it. “WOW, I thought you hated dresses?!”
Just stop.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 56 minutes ago
My mom does this to me too XD Hated dresses and skirts as a little girl. I'm 44 now and yeah, my everyday wear is jeans/men's cargo shorts and a t-shirt, but on the rare occasions I go out somewhere with my mom and sister, I'll wear a dress. Every single time, my mom will remark, "You're wearing a dress? I thought you HATE dresses!" Every time as if it's the first time she's ever said it. I was sick of it the first time I heard it, let alone the fiftieth XD I don't love dresses and I sure as hell don't wear any short dresses, but I'm allowed to wear one occasionally even if I hated them as a kid XD
#34
I worked at a country store in the mall, and we had these cute decorative ceramic birds. They were painted lifelike, like a chickadee. A little boy maybe 8 years old and his mom came into the store and the boy was holding a ceramic bird in his hand, petting it as if he was caring for his own pet. It was adorable! His mother however kept saying something like, "are you SURE you want that? A girl toy. Seriously? I'm going to tell coach! Okay fine I'm going to tell him!".
#35
I swear like a sailor. A man once told me “you know, it isn’t very lady like to talk so filthy.” I replied with a swear tirade.
He was stunned. I walked away smiling.
#36
I am not feminine because I wear jeans and t-shirts and not dresses, and play hockey cause that’s a man’s sport.
#37
As a man I've been judged for getting manicures and pedicures. Let me tell you something guys. You don't know what you're missing.
#38
As a girl, history. I love the medival theme and play many medival video games, but I often get weird looks for it.
#39
Every time my son’s hair (same haircut as prince george) reach the middle of his ears, my parents say it’s girly.
My father grew up in the 70s were they all had hair to their shoulders.... and my mother always had very short hair.... 😑.
Chich the witch 24 minutes ago
Yep, just like all those long haired 'girly men' in history. Y'know - Genghis Khan, Nelson, Sitting Bull, Ashoka and the like
#40
Having larger feet as a woman isn't very feminine is what I've been told... But I can't figure out how I'm supposed to change that lol.
#41
Had a barber in a shop telling me my more pointed beard was feminine and it should be more squared off to be manly. I just said no, keep the shape. Feminine beard?
Toujin C'Thlu 23 minutes ago
I've seen bearded women, and none of them had pointy 'feminine' beards
#42
I know a Ukranian guy. He's really good at making soup. We were talking about cooking one day. I said something about pie dough. He told me that's a woman thing.
I've known people who discriminate about cooking based on gender, i.e. "only women cook" or "only men can be great chefs." This is the first time I've heard someone discriminate about types of cooking.
#43
Wearing shorts in the summer was girly. My dad, who is 90, never wore shorts, that I have ever observed. I’d rather be cooler and girly than masculine and sweaty.
#45
“If you don’t wear makeup, do your nails, or like fancy bags, you’re not very feminine.”
Which of course silly!
#47
"It's just creepy when men smile and wave at [my toddlers] in the store. Like, why would they even do that?" -my sister
I pointed out that both of our husbands make faces at kids when we're waiting in line. And our dad. And our grandpa. And- she jumped in at this point and admitted that she needs therapy for post-partum anxiety.
#48
Enjoying tabletop RPGs isn't for girls.
I went to a card shop and bought a DnD mini for an upcoming campaign and the guy at checkout criticized my choice in character (was playing a Dragonborn sorcerer) and then proceeded to inform me that "DnD is for guys who want to play out their 'fantasies' and having women bring their 'drama' into it, just ruins it for us(guys)"
Also similarly anything related to Warhammer 40k. A friend of mine was in a tournament, and I tagged along to watch because I like hanging out with him and I like looking at people's models and some guy asked why I was even there because "girls aren't into 40k." I wasn't even the only girl there...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 53 minutes ago
I've got a huge Warhammer 40k army XD When I worked at Wizards of the Coast, all of us employees had Warhammer armies of our own. Admittedly, mine was the only one with leopard spots painted onto the Space Marines' pauldrons XD
#50
I used to do MMA in the days before UFC went mainstream. I was once told by a woman that real men don't do martial arts, they just street fight.
#53
Yesterday I was told that, as a man, I was not allowed to use to word “lovely” for any reason.
#54
Sitting cross legged (crisscross apple sauce or whatever Americans call it) is not ladylike.
I was 8(?) and in school wearing a skirt and shorts underneath, my teach exclaimed people could easily look at my knickers and lady bits if I carried on sitting that way.
Very odd statement to make to a child tbh. Maybe just don’t look at children’s crotches?
#55
I was made fun of a bit on the football team for being in glee club. They said singing and dancing were gay. I pointed out that I had watched them play tag football in the showers a few weeks earlier. Meanwhile, I was in a class with 30 guys and 70 women. I got to kiss a cute girl twice a day for a week when we were doing a performance for visiting 8th graders. Super gay though.
#56
I was a rough and tumble girl growing up - I could be found climbing trees, racing my bike, jumping off monkey bars, you name it. Every time I would get a scrape or a cut or a bruise, my adults insisted “if you have scarred knees or beat up skin, no one is ever going to marry you.” Also: stop being so smart. Men don’t marry intelligent women; you’ve got to play dumb or you’re not girly enough.
Still working through those voices in my 40s.
#57
My teeth had a shape that was “not feminine enough,” according to my orthodontist.
#58
I asked for a straw for my drink and the waitress said, "Men don't use straws." I replied, "This man uses straws and doesn't measure his manhood by what other people think. ".
#61
Im REALLY old. I was a young woman when self service gas stations came into being.
Whenever i would pump my own gas, people thought i was just amazing.
I have friends my age today, that still cant gas up their cars. Their husbands have always done it for them.
Some women can work on their own cars. I can't but i can at least check my hood and air my tires. When my Dad taught me how to drive, the service stations were all full service with garages. Dad taught me to check the car stuff myself. He told me that a lot of service station workers weren't that bright or caring. So he didn't want me to trust anyone but myself. That proved to be good advice.
People used to check hoods and tires at the gas pumps. Whenever i did that, a ton of people would stop and ask me if i was having car trouble. So i started doing the check at home in my garage.
#62
I’m a woman who has been told that working with my hands isn’t feminine. I love to build things and even built an extra room on to my she shed all by myself.
My husband and I kind of have a “role reversal” situation. He enjoys cleaning and I don’t. He doesn’t enjoy maintenance that much. It works out.
What do you think ?
Toujin C'Thlu 18 minutes ago
As this article has shown, gendering stuff is incredibly stupid. I seriously don't get why people still do it
olivejuicedrinker (she/her) 50 minutes ago
one time i got told playing minecraft is only for boys 💀
Toujin C'Thlu 18 minutes ago
As this article has shown, gendering stuff is incredibly stupid. I seriously don't get why people still do it
olivejuicedrinker (she/her) 50 minutes ago
one time i got told playing minecraft is only for boys 💀
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