“I Left Early, With My Money And My Sanity”: Single Woman Refuses To Pay For Cousin’s Wedding

Reddit user ScarcityGlum647 has spent the last few years away from her family, so when she came to her home state, the woman attended a gathering where relatives met to catch up and reminisce about old times. However, there were also plans for the future: one of her cousins was preparing to get married. Only the news (and invitation) were presented together with a not-so-subtle request for extra help with the wedding costs.

Family get-togethers always come with seconds — of food and drama

Two women having tea and smiling while discussing a distant cousin wanting funding for her wedding because of single status.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

This woman, for example, was approached by a cousin, casually fishing for extra wedding money

Text excerpt discussing a distant cousin wanting financial support for wedding from single relative with no kids.

Text excerpt discussing a distant cousin wanting financial support for her wedding due to being single with no kids.

Text on a white background about a distant cousin asking to fund her entire wedding because the other person is single with no kids.

Text excerpt about distant cousin asking to fund wedding due to user being single with no kids, discussing costs and favors.

Text discussing being single with no kids and refusing to fund a distant cousin’s entire wedding expenses.

Text about rent, bills, therapy, and cat food with sarcastic tone about single status and funding cousin’s wedding.

Woman walking away on a wooden bridge, carrying a tote bag, reflecting on distant cousin wanting her to fund wedding costs.

Image credits: Juli Kosolapova (not the actual photo)

Text on a plain background stating safe to leave early with money and sanity after stressful situation involving distant cousin and wedding funding request.

Image source: ScarcityGlum647

Weddings are expensive

Image credits: Carlo Buttinoni (not the actual photo)

Nowadays, the average wedding cost is $33,000, so, understandably, many couples are looking for ways to increase their budget. The expense list usually looks something like this:

• Wedding dress: $2,100
• Cake: $540
• Hair and makeup: $290
• Officiant: $240
• DJ: $1,700
• Live band: $4,500
• Food: $80 per person
• Alcohol: $2,800
• Venue: $12,200
• Flowers: $2,700
• Invitations: $520
• Wedding bands: $2,900
• Photographer: $2,900
• Videographer: $2,300

Spending so much money can feel stressful. In fact, a 2023 survey discovered that 70% of engaged Americans feel like they’re facing money challenges during the planning process. (And it doesn’t help that 55% of married and engaged Americans find it difficult to have a serious money talk with their partner, either.)

You can ask your guests for financial gifts, but it needs to be done right

Image credits: Juvale (not the actual photo)

According to etiquette expert Mariah Grumet, it’s perfectly okay to request cash for your wedding—it’s how you do it that really matters. “If you are requesting monetary gifts for your wedding, there is a tasteful way to go about it so it’s a win-win situation for everyone,” Grumet said.

The one place where your preference for cash gifts should never be spelled out, however, is in the invitation. “A monetary gift (or any gift for that matter!) should not be requested on the actual wedding invitation,” highlighted Grumet.

Instead, include the address of your wedding website on an insert card within your overall stationery suite and explain your registry preferences there. “There’s nothing wrong with not wanting physical gifts or a traditional registry, but it’s important to communicate that in the best way possible.”

Couples should also let their parents, siblings, and close friends know that they’d prefer cash and encourage them to tactfully spread the word. Chances are, guests will ask them what they should get the newlyweds.

Cash or a check can feel impersonal, so letting guests know where the money will go is critical to help them feel more connected to the two of you and your plans. If you’re in the middle of a big project, like renovating your home or moving across the country, just tell the guests about it! Bonus tip: adding a more personal touch with the story of how the project got started, how far along you are, and even the pitfalls you may have faced along the way can make them more inclined to answer.

However, confronting someone face-to-face and putting them on the line in front of others (especially, when you haven’t seen them for years) is probably not the way to go…

That $33,000 we mentioned earlier is the average, and it only takes a few basics to get married. There’s always the option of scaling down.

The story has sparked plenty of reactions

Reddit comment text saying maybe her future husband could contribute, related to distant cousin wants me to fund wedding.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment suggesting to tell a distant cousin who wants wedding funds that you are recently engaged.

Reddit comment humorously linking being single with no kids to funding a distant cousin’s entire wedding request.

Comment suggesting to decline a distant cousin’s wedding invite by planning a lavish overseas vacation instead.

Screenshot of a social media comment reacting to a distant cousin wanting wedding funds due to being single with no kids.

Comment suggesting to pitch an MLM job to a distant cousin who wants funding for her wedding due to being single with no kids.

Screenshot of a social media comment criticizing a distant cousin wanting funding for her wedding because the user is single with no kids.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing funding requests from a distant cousin for a wedding due to being single with no kids.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a distant cousin wanting funding for her wedding due to user being single with no kids.

Comment discussing a distant cousin wanting financial support for her wedding because the commenter is single with no kids.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing being single, related to distant cousin wedding funding request dilemma.

Text post about marriage and wedding costs, mentioning good marriage without needing an expensive wedding or funding requests.

Comment about assumptions on finances related to being single with no kids, linked to distant cousin wedding funding request.

Comment discussing a distant cousin wanting wedding funding because the commenter is single with no kids.

Screenshot of an online comment expressing disbelief about a distant cousin asking to fund her entire wedding due to being single with no kids.

Screenshot of a Reddit post discussing distant cousin demanding wedding funding because the user is single with no kids.

Comment discussing the misconception that being single means having more money to fund a distant cousin's wedding expenses.

Comment suggesting alternatives to funding a distant cousin’s wedding due to being single with no kids.

Screenshot of online comment discussing funding a distant cousin's wedding while being single with no kids.

Comment about wallets and time of the childless, related to distant cousin wanting wedding funding due to single status.

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