Do you know how long dinosaurs lived? According to USGS, these giant reptiles roamed the Earth for about 165 million years before going extinct around 65 million years ago. So, besides this and them being the subject of dinosaur puns and jokes, what else is so cool about them?
Well, for starters, they were giant—an instant bonus! Second, some of them had ridiculously short arms (or forelegs, hands, front limbs), others were spiny, and some of them could even fly or spend their days pretending to be even bigger manatees than the manatees of our days.
It’s also pretty cool that dinosaurs went extinct because, in our opinion, bears and giant anacondas are more than enough to be afraid of. Hopefully, those giant reptiles won’t resurface again, or some mad scientist won’t recreate them out of DNA samples because we all know how that would end. Do we need to remind you about Jurassic Park?
Image credit: Deb Dowd
The thing that’s left out of dinosaurs—besides fossils, some petrified bones, and chickens—is their ability to inspire jokes and funny dinosaur puns. A thing that we are perfectly content with, as it’s so much easier to tease these intimidating prehistoric lizards than it would be watching them tease us. And ridicule we will!
We’ve created a list of 125 dinosaur jokes for adults and kids just to harangue about how reptiles are the best pun fodder. They are also the greatest inspiration for prehistoric but funny dinosaur jokes. So, are you ready to tickle your funny bone?
It’s probably time to end this low-key rant about how scared we are of reptiles and skip right to the funny dinosaur jokes! Besides the dinosaur jokes for kids, we researched and found an expert who kindly talked to us about real-life ‘dinosaurs’—Gerardas Paškevičius, the owner of a vast and diverse collection of reptiles.
You know what to do—scroll down below to check the interview and clever puns we’ve found on hairless ogres that once ruled the Earth, vote for the funniest dinosaur dad jokes, and share this article with your friends!
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What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer? Comet!
What do you call a dinosaur after a breakup? Tyrannosaurus ex!
Where Does Gerardas’ Devotion to Reptiles Come From?
Reptile lover Gerardas also does educational programs about these creeper animals and has his Facebook page, called Džiunglių Žmogus (Jungle Man), where he shares exciting information about his unusual pets and all kinds of cold-blooded vermin. So, for starters, we wanted to know where his fascination with these scaled beings stemmed from.
And, as you’re about to see, Gerardas tells a story far from ordinary: “I’ve been fascinated with nature for as long as I can remember—I loved closely observing my environment. Thankfully, I’ve spent my childhood living near various natural habitats, which made it all even more interesting. For example, a lively rivulet supplied a pond nearby, overgrown with bushes and vast meadows. There were many animals to investigate—bugs, spiders, mollusks, frogs, toads, hedgehogs… You name it. Even reminiscing about it makes me feel the joy of exploring wild fauna!”
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent!
Why did T-Rex’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he said he only loved her “this much” (with his tiny arms spread wide).
Devotion to Exotic Pets: The Story Continues
Continuing the story from childhood, Gerardas shares: “Growing up, I was kind of an underdog—nobody understood this fascination of mine. So, feeling misunderstood, I tried to compensate for it by understanding more about those who also seemed like outcasts to me. That’s why I chose arachnids, reptiles, bugs, and amphibians as my ‘friends’—they were considered ‘creepy’ by many, and it resonated with me.”
Furthermore, the enthusiast reveals how he saved money for his first reptile pet: “When I was around nine, I made a firm decision that I could own and take care of a snake alone. But, seeing that this fascination of mine won’t go away easily, my parents finally caved in and permitted me to own a grass-snake. With the condition, of course, I’ll save the money to buy it, and it will come out of my pocket. So, instead of spending my allowance on pastries, chocolate bars, and ice cream, I started saving it for my dream.”
“Once I did it, I knew I was about to become the happiest kid on Earth! With the adder ordered, my parents supplied the terrarium and needed decorations, heating devices, and all the other things needed for the snake’s comfortable living. And that’s exactly how Rikis, a Taiwanese Beauty Rat Snake, became part of our family. My fascination with all these ‘creepy crawlies’ grew, and soon enough, I got more pets—Afroditė, a Leopard Gecko, and Gena, a Sudan Plated Lizard. This trio still lives with me!”
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way as fast as you can.
What do you call a dinosaur who's a noisy sleeper? A Tyranno-snorus!
What do you call the ghost of a dinosaur? A scaredactyl.
Social Media Presence and a Degree in Animal Sciences
After Gerardas gained some experience, he started a Facebook page called Džiunglių Žmogus [Jungle Man]. Naturally, we wanted to know where his nickname came from. Gerardas told us this: “My parents’ friends started to call me after seeing my reptiles at our home. So I took this nickname and still use it for my social media, which I use as an educational tool talking about these fascinating animals.”
Want to meet Gerardas’ crew? There’s a whole list of them! Currently, he takes care of a Boa Constrictor, California King Snake, Sinaloan Milk Snake, African Brown House Snake, Banded Water Snake, and Plains Hognose Snake—and that’s only the snakes! He also owns a colony of Harvester ants, an African Giant Land Snail, a Salmon-pink Birdeater spider, and various exotic bugs. That’s an impressive team if you ask us!
“Growing up, my passion for animals didn’t wane, so I got my bachelor’s degree in Animal Sciences and my master’s degree in Biodiversity. With two diplomas in my hand, I understood that keeping exotic pets requires a constant deepening of knowledge! I’m delighted to have the opportunity to educate audiences about reptiles and bugs via social media—I’ve recently hit the 13,000 followers mark on my Facebook page.”
What do you call it when a dinosaur has a car accident? A tyrannosaurus wreck!
Our local museum has opened a brand new dinosaur exhibit. I don't know if it will be popular or not. That remains to be seen.
The Guide to Exotic Pets: Tips from Gerardas
Okay, suppose you also have an obsession with exotic pets and want one of your own but aren't sure where to start. Don’t worry about where to begin with your first scaled friend; we have you covered!
Gerardas shared some tips: “First of all, figure out the laws of your location—some animals may be illegal to be kept at home, and for others, you might need to get various documentation and permits. Be sure that those living with you agree with such a pet—as with any animal, it has to be a cherished friend, not a nuisance. Once you get a green light, choose the animal you wish to acquire; different species need different maintenance.”
According to Gerardas, the most important part of your homework comes after you make a decision. You must read about your chosen pet, talk with experts, and gain more than basic knowledge: “Don’t buy an animal on a whim! After figuring out how that particular animal lives in its natural environment, read about keeping it at home.”
“Do your research for the optimal terrarium and the devices that your pet will need, and only then find a veritable seller. Make sure that the animal is captive-bred and not wild-caught. Once your pet is home, give it time to acclimate to its new environment. All these steps are vital for successfully keeping exotic pets.”
What did they call sunrise in prehistoric times? Meglodawn.
In Closing: the World of Reptiles, Jokes, and Love
Lastly, we wanted to know if there have been any unexpected or funny situations with Gerardas’ exotic pets. And there surely are, as he says: “Oh, of course, there are some curious and unexpected things with pets like that. I keep laughing that most snakes never act like they’re supposed to. For instance, Boa Constrictors are known to love water, yet in the five years I’ve owned mine, I’ve never seen her spend time in her pool.”
“Similarly, the African Brown House Snake supposedly loves staying on the ground and in burrows. Mine chooses hanging out on branches! I have plenty more examples about animals behaving not like they’re ‘supposed’ to, but let’s leave it at that this time.”
“In the summer, I bring out my pets to soak in the sun, and while my neighbors are accustomed to seeing various snakes around the house, the passersby often stop to take a picture or ask questions about the animals they’ve probably never seen before.”
Receptionist: Doctor, there’s an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell her I can’t see her!
What sport is a brontosaurus good at? Squash.
Scientists have discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart. They described it as a blast from the past.
To close off our interview, Gerardas shared an interesting thought: “People often tell me that I spend my time caring for animals that can never love me back. Reptiles can only tolerate a human being; that heightens their ‘emotion.’ The height of human emotion is, naturally, love. Despite our emotions being different, you can still call it love! So technically, a reptile ‘loves’ its owner to the best of its ability.”
We thank Gerardas for such an in-depth view of the world of exotic pets! If you have any questions, he’ll gladly tell you more about the species you’re interested in. Simply message him on his Facebook page, Džiunglių Žmogus.
Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? Because it was an early bird!
How do you know that a seismosaurus is under your bed? Because your nose is only two inches from the ceiling!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkysaurus.
What is the best way to talk to a velociraptor? Long-distance!
How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your fridge? The door won’t shut!
How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs? Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
What do you call a dinosaur from Canada? Torontosaurus Rex.
What is purple and green and won’t stop singing? Barney taking a shower.
How did the triceratops speed up his computer? He gave it a good RAM.
I don’t get why this is inappropriate for kids 🤔🤔🤔 Aren’t they referring to RAM, as in the Random Access Memory in a computer???
My pupil asked which writer wrote the best dinosaur stories. I said he should try Sarah Topps.
What dinosaur can’t you hear go to the bathroom? All of them, they’re all dead.
How do you know if there’s a stegosaurus in your refrigerator? The door won’t close.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Do you know how long dinosaurs lived? The same as short ones.
What do you call a dinosaur who keeps you awake at night? A bronto-snore-us (or a dino-snore).
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-try-try-ceratops!
Do you think anything could tricera-top these dinosaur puns? I dino what to tell you, but probably not.
What’s a sailor’s favorite dinosaur? The mast-odon.
He's all skin and bones.
How can you tell if there's an allosaurus lying in your bed? You'll see the bright red "A" on its pyjamas.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles.
What would happen if a 100-ton Brachiosaurus stepped on you?You’d be deeply impressed.
Which is the clumsiest dinosaur? Break-iosaur.
The one-eyed dinosaur passed us somewhere along the forest lane, but I am not sure he-saurus.
The dinosaur charged with sewing the garments for all the prehistoric animals was known as a dino-sewer.
What do you call twin dinosaurs? Pair-odactyls!
