Photographer Documents His Own Depression In Dark Self-Portraits
Different people have different ways of coping with depression, and for Edward Honaker, that coping mechanism is his self-portrait photography. His photos turn his depression into something that can be seen and, hopefully, better understood.
The 21-year-old photographer was diagnosed with depression two years ago. “All I knew is that I became bad at the things I used to be good at, and I didn’t know why,” he told Huffpost. “Your mind is who you are, and when it doesn’t work properly, it’s scary.”
“It’s kind of hard to feel any kind of emotion when you’re depressed, and I think good art can definitely move people,” he continued.
More info: edwardhonaker.com | Instagram | Tumblr (h/t: huffpost)
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I wish I didn't identify with these so well...I can't say I want to kill my self, I love life and the people around me, but so often it can feel so isolating. Like you can hear voices of happy people from behind a black curtain but if you dare to open it the light is so blinding and off putting.
Some of these gave me such anxiety and made me feel like I was suffocating, because they so perfectly captured something I have felt. It such a positive to be able to be creative in the midst of depression. Those are the better days.
I agree with you because when I was depressed doing anything was difficult, especially being creative.
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Thank you so much for sharing these. They take away the negative stigma of depression, so many of us can identify with one or all of the photos and feelings attached to them and maybe someone will reach out and get help because of your beautiful works of art. I hope some day we see pics of you with pink & purple balloons, in turquoise waters, snuggled in green bed linens and pearly white teeth grinning from ear to ear.
What kindness, you sound as if you have a Beautiful Persona. Thank You.
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I am in recovery from depression and thankfully have few dark days now, but in these photos are memories of just how dark the days can be. Thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life.
I have depression for 16 years. Yeah, I can say those pics... well, these suite to the theme...
This statement hit home with me... “All I knew is that I became bad at the things I used to be good at, and I didn’t know why."....and that is it. Thank you.
Gosh... i feel like this is one of the best way to describe depression. there were the times where you feel like you're nothing and you don't even know who you are. I like it how the photographer "shuts" the face off, that really describe the feeling of depression
These truly are great depictions of what it is like to be depressed or going through an episode of manic depression. I know this not only because I have been and am going through a bout of it myself, but because the way that the photos made me feel as I went through them. The photos really capture the lack of motivation, hopelessness and self-unawareness that happens with depression. There have been many days that I want to lie in bed and go nothing and others where I feel that I am stuck with nowhere to go and that I am powerless to act. Thanks for this.
Thank you for painting a clear picture of something so misunderstood. Hoping for better days.
These photos are not to glorify mental illness or somehow make it beautiful. This is the result of depression, raw emotion, how we feel...
Really liked the one with the balloons and chair, It makes me think of times when I was sitting in a place surrounded by people who I had nothing in common with which made me feel more depressed. This is exactly how I felt then great pics man.
I share your pain and I can see exactly how you feel. Your photography and sense of emotional are exceptional. Best of luck dear one.
This describes exactly how we feel. Everyday we need to find the way to stay strong. In my case writing is the best alternative to fight against bad feelings...
Who was the photographer that was showing their depression? I would love to see what other work they did, lovely photos
These are incredible and strong. I also love how the 4th and 5th seem to be tied together, as well as the last 4. Great composition.
I easily feel down and often think that instead of pondering over everything, I want to try to photograph myself but I have no means. This guy is really creative and has expressed his thoughts and feelings well. :)
Beautiful portrayal of a destructive thought process. Artistic expression at its finest.
you can really feel these. They are so close to the bone if you've ever experienced depression. Great talent <3
I came here because I wanted to point out that documenting depression in photographs is part navel-gazing and part exhibitionism, but some of the photographs, particularly the one where the model is submerged with only his head peeking out the water hit way too close to what depression felt for me.
I can not explain how i relate to every single one of them. Those picture with an unidentified or masked face tells so much about the darkness lived. The second pic almost made me tear. you are surrounded by the people who love you but you don't feel the love and instead feel disoriented and out of place. These pictures define depression in such an anxious way that im crying just thinking about what it makes me feel.
I absolutely agree with you. This is how depression looks like, feels like and there's nothing you can do. Or someone else. Because everyone thinks that is you say something encouraging like "You'll get through it", they think that everything's ok and life moves on, but they can't feel and sense the same thing. It's different. And, also, depression is under a curtain of misconception... Great photos, by the way! :)
They are so powerful, It made me feel sad for him. I wish that it was just his way of taking pictures, and not how he felt. I want to just reach out to this guy and give him a big hug and tell him things will be better and to keep taking pictures of happy things.
Interesting and beautiful. The one in the bathtub captures how I feel at times. I will tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel if you ask for help.
Love this art and how the artist did interpret the feelings. He nailed it so much <3
I've been depressed pretty much my entire life. I'm now 28 - sad to say. These are beautiful and helpful to normalize something so lonely.
VERY STRIKING!!! NO WORDS REQUIRED. BEEN THERE DONE THAT. Thanks for sharing. Those who don't understand mental illness need to see this.
I wish I didn't identify with these so well...I can't say I want to kill my self, I love life and the people around me, but so often it can feel so isolating. Like you can hear voices of happy people from behind a black curtain but if you dare to open it the light is so blinding and off putting.
Some of these gave me such anxiety and made me feel like I was suffocating, because they so perfectly captured something I have felt. It such a positive to be able to be creative in the midst of depression. Those are the better days.
I agree with you because when I was depressed doing anything was difficult, especially being creative.
Load More Replies... Thank you so much for sharing these. They take away the negative stigma of depression, so many of us can identify with one or all of the photos and feelings attached to them and maybe someone will reach out and get help because of your beautiful works of art. I hope some day we see pics of you with pink & purple balloons, in turquoise waters, snuggled in green bed linens and pearly white teeth grinning from ear to ear.
What kindness, you sound as if you have a Beautiful Persona. Thank You.
Load More Replies... I am in recovery from depression and thankfully have few dark days now, but in these photos are memories of just how dark the days can be. Thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life.
I have depression for 16 years. Yeah, I can say those pics... well, these suite to the theme...
This statement hit home with me... “All I knew is that I became bad at the things I used to be good at, and I didn’t know why."....and that is it. Thank you.
Gosh... i feel like this is one of the best way to describe depression. there were the times where you feel like you're nothing and you don't even know who you are. I like it how the photographer "shuts" the face off, that really describe the feeling of depression
These truly are great depictions of what it is like to be depressed or going through an episode of manic depression. I know this not only because I have been and am going through a bout of it myself, but because the way that the photos made me feel as I went through them. The photos really capture the lack of motivation, hopelessness and self-unawareness that happens with depression. There have been many days that I want to lie in bed and go nothing and others where I feel that I am stuck with nowhere to go and that I am powerless to act. Thanks for this.
Thank you for painting a clear picture of something so misunderstood. Hoping for better days.
These photos are not to glorify mental illness or somehow make it beautiful. This is the result of depression, raw emotion, how we feel...
Really liked the one with the balloons and chair, It makes me think of times when I was sitting in a place surrounded by people who I had nothing in common with which made me feel more depressed. This is exactly how I felt then great pics man.
I share your pain and I can see exactly how you feel. Your photography and sense of emotional are exceptional. Best of luck dear one.
This describes exactly how we feel. Everyday we need to find the way to stay strong. In my case writing is the best alternative to fight against bad feelings...
Who was the photographer that was showing their depression? I would love to see what other work they did, lovely photos
These are incredible and strong. I also love how the 4th and 5th seem to be tied together, as well as the last 4. Great composition.
I easily feel down and often think that instead of pondering over everything, I want to try to photograph myself but I have no means. This guy is really creative and has expressed his thoughts and feelings well. :)
Beautiful portrayal of a destructive thought process. Artistic expression at its finest.
you can really feel these. They are so close to the bone if you've ever experienced depression. Great talent <3
I came here because I wanted to point out that documenting depression in photographs is part navel-gazing and part exhibitionism, but some of the photographs, particularly the one where the model is submerged with only his head peeking out the water hit way too close to what depression felt for me.
I can not explain how i relate to every single one of them. Those picture with an unidentified or masked face tells so much about the darkness lived. The second pic almost made me tear. you are surrounded by the people who love you but you don't feel the love and instead feel disoriented and out of place. These pictures define depression in such an anxious way that im crying just thinking about what it makes me feel.
I absolutely agree with you. This is how depression looks like, feels like and there's nothing you can do. Or someone else. Because everyone thinks that is you say something encouraging like "You'll get through it", they think that everything's ok and life moves on, but they can't feel and sense the same thing. It's different. And, also, depression is under a curtain of misconception... Great photos, by the way! :)
They are so powerful, It made me feel sad for him. I wish that it was just his way of taking pictures, and not how he felt. I want to just reach out to this guy and give him a big hug and tell him things will be better and to keep taking pictures of happy things.
Interesting and beautiful. The one in the bathtub captures how I feel at times. I will tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel if you ask for help.
Love this art and how the artist did interpret the feelings. He nailed it so much <3
I've been depressed pretty much my entire life. I'm now 28 - sad to say. These are beautiful and helpful to normalize something so lonely.
VERY STRIKING!!! NO WORDS REQUIRED. BEEN THERE DONE THAT. Thanks for sharing. Those who don't understand mental illness need to see this.
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