Okay, so you might have opened this article because of its weird topic, expecting to see a set of clockwork teeth jumping out of the screen, perhaps. But, despite the title sounding a bit kooky, you would never have thought about how punny and hilarious teeth can be! We didn’t expect it either, but once we found out about this glorious dental jokes category, we couldn’t believe the gold mine of fun that we found! So, no matter if you are a dentist, a dental technician, or just a regular person, these dental jokes are sure to bemuse you with their wit. Be as it may, most of us have teeth, and that’s one point of relatability that surely resonates.
These jokes will come clickety-clacking at you with the fun they are carrying, and they will bite you with the sharp puns they employ. No buck-toothed amusement here, but only awesome jokes to parade your pearly whites while reading! A galore of relatable jokes you have no idea you needed in your life! A compendium of amusement that’s as sharp in the wit as a kitten’s canines! A true old-school delight that we’ve just unearthed.
So, before we all start getting a bit long in the tooth, let’s end this banter and skip right to these dentist jokes just a bit further down. Read them, enjoy them, and have fun with them, but don’t forget to vote for the best ones! After this is all well and done, share these dental jokes with anyone who might have teeth and relate. So, basically, everyone!
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Why did the smartphone go to the dentist?
It had a Bluetooth.
Depression in dentists is a serious dental illness.
If a kid has 25 candy bars and they eat 22 of them, what do they have?
Cavities.
Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?
Dentist: I was in the Army.
Patient: What did you do in the Army?
Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.
Dentist: Can you please help me? Scream as loud as you can, like you’re in a lot of pain.
Patient: Why? My tooth isn’t hurting this time.
Dentist: Because there are many patients in the waiting room, and I don’t want to miss the game!
A man goes to the dentist to ask how much it would be to pull a tooth. “$100,” said the dentist. “Oh, that’s expensive,” said the main. “Do you have anything cheaper?” “That’s the normal price for an extraction,” said the dentist. The man thinks about it, “what about if you don’t use the anesthetic?” “Well, that would be unusual, but we could do that. It would be about $75.” The man thinks some more. “What about if you used a trainee and no anesthetic?” “Well,” said the dentist, ”I think that could work, but it would be a lot more painful. I think that would be about $35.” The man thought some more. “That’s still a lot. What if you make it a training session with a student doing the extraction, and the other students can watch?” The dentist says, “Ok, that would be good for the students, but it will be traumatic to have it done that way. I’ll charge you $5 for that.” “Great,” said the man. “That’s perfect. Can I book my wife for her appointment on Wednesday?
Who’s job is the most dangerous in Transylvania?
The dentist who works on Dracula.
What did the dentist say to a golfer with a cavity?
You have a hole in one.
What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Toothhurty (2:30).
Why does the dental staff go to the dentist with their problems?
Because she gets right to the root of things.
Why did the yellow tooth not find the white tooth’s jokes funny?
Because he was already dead inside.
What did the 90 year old say to his great-grandson?
I miss the days of being your age when my teeth were in my mouth 24/7!
So my friend told me I’m crazy for investing all my money into a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof. I told him "I’m going to fight tooth and nail for it." Now if only I could just think of a clever name for it, I’d be all set.
Which teeth do you need to brush?
The ones you want to keep.
What kind of filling did the little boy want for his cavity?
Chocolate.
What do you get when you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?
A long-neck toothbrush.
Not gonna lie, I actually tried to picture a hedgehog crossed with a giraffe.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused to have an anesthetic injection when he was going for a filling?
Apparently, he wanted to transcend dental medication.
I went on a date with a dentist last night.
At the end of the date, she said she’d had a great time and she’d like to see me again in 6 month’s time. It ended up costing me an absolute fortune as well!
What’s the only sweet food that dentists approve of?
Candy’floss’!
Did you know that one of the inventors of machine spun cotton candy/candy floss/fairy floss was a dentist?
What did my dentist do to stop me eating so many sweet treats?
Put a sign over my mouth saying ‘Donut Enter’.
My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “do you smoke or drink coffee?”
I told him I drink it.
Patient: How much does it cost to have a tooth pulled?
Dentist: $100.
Patient: All that for only a few minutes of work? That’s expensive.
Dentist: Don’t worry, I can pull it out slower if you’d like.
Why is it sometimes necessary to get a second opinion from a dentist?
Because each dentist has their own floss-ophy.
What is the number one reason patients don’t show up for root canals?
They lose their nerve.
What did the tooth say to the dentist before he left for vacation?
Fill me in when you get back.
Did you see the new documentary about wisdom teeth on Netflix?
It’s called an Inconvenient Tooth.
Why is the Securities and Exchanges Commission investigating the dentist?
He’s accused of incisor trading.
Have you seen Eddie recently? He’s been so moody!
Ah yeah, don’t worry about him he always seems to have a chip on his shoulder these days.
Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist’s window?
Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.” When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was just my Mother.”
How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to administer the anesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.
"I’ve no idea why people hate going to the dentist so much. In my opinion, it can be very refilling."
How do dentists teacher’s say when starting to teach the ABC’s?
“Say Ahhh!”
Dentists make the best witnesses because they always tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
What did the dentist say when Tiger Woods came in for an appointment?
You have a hole in one.
Dentist: Do you floss?
Patient: Yes, I floss religiously.
Dentist: Really?
Patient: Of course, on Christmas and Easter.
The dentist told his patient to open wider. “My goodness!” he said. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve seen, the biggest cavity I’ve seen.” “Ok,” said the patient, “but I’m scared enough. Do you need to repeat yourself?” “I didn’t,” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”
A young boy was sitting in the waiting room for a little bit after getting his tooth pulled. The receptionist asked him if he was ok. “Yes, but I didn’t like the bad word the dentist used while he was pulling my tooth.” “What did he say?” asked the receptionist, worried. “Oops.”
A young girl was talking to her dad about what she wanted to be when she grew up. She was thinking about becoming a heart doctor or a tooth doctor. “Dentist,” said her father. “Why?” the little girl asked. “We only have one heart, but we have 32 teeth.”
What did one tooth say to the other?
Get your cap on; the dentist is taking us out tonight.
Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth pulled out?
Dentist: £500.
Patient: £500 for just a few minutes work? That’s hardly cheap.
Dentist: No worries, I’ll pull it out slowly if you prefer.
What’s the difference between American and British dentists?
British dentists tend to be more careful with their patients where as American dentists tend to yank teeth.
What sort of an act do you do?
I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth.
Anything else?
Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.
A man coughed violently, and his false teeth shot across the room and smashed against the wall. “Oh, dear,” he said, “whatever shall I do? I can’t afford a new set.”
“Don’t worry,” said his friend. “I’ll get a pair from my brother for you.”
The next day the friend came back with the teeth, which fitted perfectly.
“This is wonderful,” said the man. “Your brother must be a very good dentist.”
“Oh, he’s not a dentist,” replied the friend, “he’s an undertaker.”
Patient: Doctor, if I give up candy, pizza, popcorn and gum, will my braces come off sooner?
Dentist: Not really. It will just seem longer.
When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of “Painless” dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. “He’s a fake! ” he told his mates. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he yelled like anyone else.”
Fred’s mother was on the telephone to the boy’s dentist. “I don’t understand it,” she complained, “I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you’ve charged me $80.” “It is usually $20, ma’am,” agreed the dentist, “but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!“
Patient to Dentist: “How much to get my teeth straightened?”
“Twenty thousand pounds” says the Dentist. The Patient heads for the door.
Dentist to patient: “Where are you going?”
“To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent.”
A patient asked the dentist if it wasn’t nasty to spend the day with the hands in someone’s mouth.
The dentist answered “I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”
A dentist walks into a bar and then walks straight out again.
“The sugar content in these drinks is ridiculous!”
What did the dentist say to the tooth when he had to leave the room?
I’ll fill you in when I get back.
What do dentists say when their patient is a gothic water spout carved out of stone?
Gargoyle!
Why are dentists so detailed orientated?
Because they go through everything with a fine-tooth comb!
Don’t disrespect an old-fashioned dentist, they’ll tell you to wash your mouth out with soap.
Beware if a dentist asks for a hefty retainer, they might not be talking about a mouthguard!
