Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Guy Thinks Friend’s Fiancé Is Cool Until He Shows A Side Nobody Expected
Managing to make a close friend at work can make every day exponentially easier. No matter how stressful the job is or how burnt out you feel, if there’s someone by your side who you can laugh with and bond over the struggles of your work, it’ll all be okay.
That’s why one man was so happy to have found a great friend in one of his colleagues. But over time, he began to notice that her fiancé’s prejudices were starting to impact their friendship. Below, you’ll find the full story that he shared on Reddit in search of advice, as well as some of the replies invested readers left him.
RELATED:
This man was excited to attend his work friend’s upcoming wedding
But when he realized that her fiancé didn’t accept him, he decided to skip the wedding altogether
Readers shared advice for the author, and he joined in on the conversation in the comments
Later, the author shared a brief update on his situation
Then he shared even more details about the situation
Readers pointed out that the author might not receive an invite to the wedding at all, and he chimed in with his thoughts
Finally, the author shared one last update on the saga
Becoming friends with colleagues can make the work week much more enjoyable
Many people go to work with a simple goal. Clock in, clock out, get paid, and go home. There’s not always an incentive to make friends or spend any more time around colleagues than necessary. But especially for those who don’t enjoy their jobs, having people at work that you can bond with might make a world of difference.
A 2025 survey by KPMG found that 57% of workers would choose a salary below market with close work friendships over a salary 10% over market without any close friendships. Meanwhile, 90% of surveyed employees said that they require a “friendship-enabling” culture when considering accepting a new job.
87% of workers also said that a friendship-enabling culture in the workplace is crucial for talent retention. And a quarter of workers reported experiencing increased productivity and motivation to go above and beyond as the leading benefit that comes along with having friends at work.
If your work doesn’t bring you any joy, it’s better to find friends than to be miserable for 40 hours a week. But unfortunately, it’s not equally easy for everyone to maintain friendships at work. Marginalized communities may have a more difficult time, especially if they face discrimination in the workplace.
According to a 2024 study, 77% of LGBTQ young people in Australia report that they’ve experienced harassment at work, often directly related to their sexuality. Meanwhile, in the United States, nearly half of all LGBTQ employees admit that they think “coming out” at work could be detrimental to their career.
Of course, this kind of discrimination is not only present in the workplace. While homophobic attitudes have fallen drastically in the United States and Western Europe since the 1980s, they have not been eliminated entirely.
Homophobia is still a prevalent issue today
As of 2022, 28% of Americans still held negative beliefs about homosexuality, along with 19% of adults in Spain and 15% of adults in the United Kingdom. At the same time, violence and hate towards members of the LGBTQ+ community have actually been on the rise in recent years.
Understandably, many members of the gay community want absolutely no part in being friends with anyone who holds, or who is associated with anyone who holds, homophobic views. While the woman in this story may not be prejudiced herself, her fiancé is a reflection of her. And if she’s willing to stay with him despite his views, that says something about her as well.
It’s not impossible to remain friends with someone if you can’t stand their partner, but it might not be easy. Verywell Mind notes that you first have to determine why you don’t like them. If it’s as simple as the two of you not meshing, it might not be an issue. But if it’s because they’ve exhibited toxic behavior, then you might not be able to look past that.
You also have to decide whether or not you actually want to like them. If you really don’t care about them, then you don’t have to put any effort into getting to know them. However, if you don’t make any effort, it might put a strain on your friendship.
At the end of the day, only you can decide whether or not it’s worth trying to maintain a friendship with someone whose partner you can’t be around. If it’s better for your mental health to simply say goodbye to them both, that might be the right move.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man made the right decision to end his friendship? Feel free to weigh in, and then you can find another article from Bored Panda discussing similar relationship drama right here.
Again, the author joined in on the conversation in the comments section
Many readers noted that the author is better off without his former friend
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
JB 5 hours ago (edited)
I don’t think homophobia really played a part this story at all. What I read was a mask slip when OP had the gall to question James’ instruction to Jessie to take her work phone on vacation with her. What business of James’ was it? Sure, they work for the same company but why does he “need” her to be work available during PTO, especially in a company that doesn’t have it as a policy? It was a test for how willing Jessie is to set aside her own preference. Backed up by James’ character shift to less sociable behaviour, just needs her in his network. This is a classic maneuver to separate victim from their support system. OP and plenty others have interpreted the “sassy” comment as homophobia, implying he’s too flamboyant. Nope. Jessie keeps repeating the “sassy” statement because that’s all James told her. Pretty certain what he meant is “extremely disrespectful” for interfering in his manipulation tactics, but “sassy” is a softer word, easily misinterpreted to imply social discomfort instead of the deep resentment James’ felt at any hint OP might have influence. OP is kind of a súcky friend. He’s made the situation all about himself. Even warned that, “this looks controlling, you should worry about your friend”, it’s brushed off as less important. Well, congratulations to OP, he’s played right into James’ game.
Scott Rackley 22 minutes ago
Yeah, I'm reading pure control. The first step for them is isolation. Anyone the subject is friends with or might take advice from has to go. Anyone with a different opinion than "submit to your husband" has to be put away.
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 2 hours ago
It's not homophobia, but it's certainly related, oi think Jungle Boy objects to other male's advice.
JB 5 hours ago (edited)
I don’t think homophobia really played a part this story at all. What I read was a mask slip when OP had the gall to question James’ instruction to Jessie to take her work phone on vacation with her. What business of James’ was it? Sure, they work for the same company but why does he “need” her to be work available during PTO, especially in a company that doesn’t have it as a policy? It was a test for how willing Jessie is to set aside her own preference. Backed up by James’ character shift to less sociable behaviour, just needs her in his network. This is a classic maneuver to separate victim from their support system. OP and plenty others have interpreted the “sassy” comment as homophobia, implying he’s too flamboyant. Nope. Jessie keeps repeating the “sassy” statement because that’s all James told her. Pretty certain what he meant is “extremely disrespectful” for interfering in his manipulation tactics, but “sassy” is a softer word, easily misinterpreted to imply social discomfort instead of the deep resentment James’ felt at any hint OP might have influence. OP is kind of a súcky friend. He’s made the situation all about himself. Even warned that, “this looks controlling, you should worry about your friend”, it’s brushed off as less important. Well, congratulations to OP, he’s played right into James’ game.
Scott Rackley 22 minutes ago
Yeah, I'm reading pure control. The first step for them is isolation. Anyone the subject is friends with or might take advice from has to go. Anyone with a different opinion than "submit to your husband" has to be put away.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 2 hours ago
It's not homophobia, but it's certainly related, oi think Jungle Boy objects to other male's advice.
Related on Bored Panda
31
6