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“Am I A [Jerk] For Sending My Daughter To Her Room Because She Farted At Our Family Dinner?”
What would you do if your kid turned a family dinner into a comedy show with fart jokes? Just imagine trying to keep a straight face while teaching table manners, only to have your 14-year-old daughter turn the meal into a gas-filled giggle fest.
Our protagonist was dealing with this situation when her daughter’s unique sense of humor tested the limits of her patience.
More info: Reddit
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Mom loses her patience after her 14-year-old autistic daughter keeps passing gas at family dinner, thinking it’s funny
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Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
“She laughs at farts, looks up every fact on farting”: the woman’s daughter, diagnosed with high-functioning autism, has developed a weird obsession for farts
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The woman’s daughter continuously burps and farts while the family is eating, causing the mom to lose her cool and snap at her
The OP’s (original poster) daughter, Rosie, was a quirky 14-year-old with a weird love for fart jokes, ready to turn any family dinner into a stinky situation. She was the only girl in a family of four kids, so she always stood out. Diagnosed with high-functioning autism, Rosie found joy in things most of us don’t, like the art of flatulence. Yep, you read that right. Farts were her comedy gold. She laughed at farts, researched foods that caused gas, and watched fart pranks on her tablet at full blast. For Rosie, farts were the peak of comedy.
Despite her unique interests, Rosie’s mom was on a mission to teach good table manners to all her kids. From “excuse me” after burps to covering their mouths when coughing, the basics were drilled in. With extended family coming over for dinner, Rosie’s mom set a clear rule: no fart talk at the dinner table, hoping her daughter would keep her fascination in check. But Rosie just couldn’t resist.
After chugging a big glass of lemonade, Rosie let one out that echoed through the room, receiving some pretty disapproving looks from the rest of the family. “I reminded her to say excuse me and hold in her burps,” mom recalls. Rosie tried, but temptation struck again. In the middle of a conversation, she let out a fart and giggled. The looks on everyone’s faces? Priceless.
That was the last straw for mom, who finally snapped at her daughter after sending her to her room in tears. She called Rosie’s actions disgusting and rude, especially in front of their guests. Rosie apologized and promised to behave, but it wasn’t enough. She was sent to her room, and dinner continued without her.
Later that night, Rosie and her mom had a heart-to-heart conversation. Rosie told her mom that all she wanted was to make everyone laugh and didn’t realize people would get mad. “I did remind her that it was actually rude, and she is expected to not do that again with company over,” mom explained.
What did the dad have to say, you may ask? Well, as a casual gas-passer himself, he thought his wife had overreacted, saying that it was just a fart and not worth the drama. But the OP had noticed his smirk during dinner and suggested that maybe their daughter was trying to copy him. “I did call him out on him smirking at dinner and stated that she modeled her behavior from him,” the OP recalls.
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Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
While the OP stood by her decision, she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she had been too harsh, considering her young daughter’s diagnosis. For a teen with high-functioning autism, Rosie’s fascination with farting isn’t all that uncommon, as explained by an article on the same topic.
“High-functioning autism is a subtype of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by relatively mild symptoms compared to other forms of autism. Individuals with high-functioning autism may struggle to understand social norms, make eye contact, initiate or maintain conversations, and interpret nonverbal cues such as facial expressions or body language,” the article explains.
These kids often develop strong interests in specific topics, paying close attention to details. While they can be academically quite gifted, they might struggle with understanding social cues. Unlike more severe forms of autism, children with high-functioning autism, including those previously diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, tend to have normal to above-average intelligence and language skills but face significant social challenges.
Rosie’s mom faced a tough parenting moment that many can relate to. Trying your best to balance discipline with understanding, especially with a child with high-functioning autism, is definitely no easy task. But maybe, just maybe, we can all afford to laugh a little, even when things get a bit… smelly.
Teaching table manners to kids can sometimes be a challenge, but it’s all part of the parenting adventure. As explained in an article, when you teach your child good table manners, you’re giving them vital tools for social interactions that will serve them for a lifetime.
“Teaching good table manners is an important part of family meal time that will help your child have confidence in social situations and when dining out. Just make sure you take a low-pressure approach to instructing your kids. You don’t want mealtime to be fraught with stress and anxiety,” the article explains. Just remember to keep things pressure-free and lead by example. With a little patience and consistency, even the quirkiest teens can master the art of civilized dining.
So, was Rosie’s mom too harsh with her daughter or was she justified in her reaction? Drop your comments below.
People in the comments say that the mom is not a jerk for sending her daughter to her room because she farted at the family dinner
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What do you think ?
Con O Cuinn 1 year ago
People are getting hung up on the ladylike comment. I don't necessarily see that as a problem if she says the same behaviour is ungentlemanly for her son's. Language is sometimes gendered, it doesn't mean she's sexist.
arthbach 1 year ago
Con O Cuinn, she is modelling the behaviour of her brothers and father, and *she* is the one being punished. Yeah, it's sexist.
Load More Replies...
MR 1 year ago
Look, she had 3 chances to correct her behavior. She chose not to. Yes, she could have chosen her words better and needs to work on herself for that. But I sincerely doubt if this child were a boy she'd react any differently. What she did was rude. And, again, she received multiple warnings. Her reaction was very appropriate.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
How did Mom, who beleives her daughter has a fart fetish, who knows her daughter watches fart prank videos all day, not cover this ground before dinner? Perhaps it wasn't ladylike to discuss, manners, expectations, and consequences before guests arrive? This didn't have to be a blow up argument that made everyone uncomfortable. Seems like mom knew her daughter would do this and was trying to use public shaming to parent for her.
Boredomcured 1 year ago
In the post she wrote that she set expectations for the whole family to be on their best behaviour and to leave topics of bodily functions off the dinner table. So Mom did cover that ground.
Load More Replies... V 1 year ago
NTA for not wanting non accidental farts and burps at mealtimes, but definitely YTA for how it's been dealt with. Before I read the comments it sounded like a hyperfixation or stimming thing to me, too. So it needs to be redirected into something else, not told it's unladylike or a fetish, that's not going to help.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Sometimes you have to give out a harsh penalty if your warnings have been ignored. The YTA brigade should go for dancing lessons with Oscar, starting with foxtrot.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
GAWD I hate that term "ladylike". It's used to separate expectations of what a girl is allowed vs. what is expected of boys, which the latter is usually held with much more leniency. I agree with banana13's comment. The daughter is hyperfixiated, but it's not the topic that's the problem. Just the timing of when she brings it up. She could be copying characters in movies, which tend to have a lot of burp and fart humour. She could very well be copying the men in her family. She wants to feel included. I'm all for table manners and being polite, but for pete sakes, she needs to calm down. It's not like bodily functions are a crime.
Baali Venomax 1 year ago
Overkill. Farting is a normal bodily function and at 14, a lot of things seem funny. I belch and fart when in public and I'm not embaressed(I'm female for the record) but my parents never told me that it wasnt Ladylike, more like, you should just apologise if you do it in public or around strangers. They were used to me doing that a lot because I had severe bowel problems as a kid so I couldn't help it. If she finds the subject fascinating, well, there are weirder things she could focus on and she might decide to focus on something else when she gets older. If the boys are getting away with it, thats a no no. Why should her brothers get away with it if she cant? That breeds resentment against you for holding her to a double standard. So things get a bit stinky, open a window or spray air freshner. You made her cry. What she will take from the family dinner is nothing other than you made her cry, for just trying to cheer people up and she won't forget that easily.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
My question is this: if it were one of the boys, would they be punished in the same way? If yes, then it isn't sexist. If no... well. I do think OP could have communicated better. Communicate not just the expectations but the consequences for breaking them. Or, a crazy thought, communicate to the dear aunt and grandma and relatives ahead of time that she's got this thing going on with farts and might push those boundaries a bit at the table. If she's looking into it that deeply, maybe be a little less appalled by her curiosity.
Paul C 1 year ago
If you want to teach children that farts are not funny, explain to them that when they breath in the smell they are actually breathing in someone's s**t and taking it deep into their lungs. If they smell their own, they are breathing in their own s**t. Who wants that going down your throat and into your lungs? That usually convinces them.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
So scare them into holding in their gas? Do you know how dangerous that is?
Load More Replies...
Connie Williamson 1 year ago
Even though she is 14, having high function Autism will put her in the age range of 10, 11 years old. She is only a teen by calendar age. If her Dad and brothers often find farting funny, she was only emulating their behavior. Taking her away from the table and explaining what was wrong with the farting at the table and give her a chance to apologize would be a better way to handle the situation.
Con O Cuinn 1 year ago
People are getting hung up on the ladylike comment. I don't necessarily see that as a problem if she says the same behaviour is ungentlemanly for her son's. Language is sometimes gendered, it doesn't mean she's sexist.
arthbach 1 year ago
Con O Cuinn, she is modelling the behaviour of her brothers and father, and *she* is the one being punished. Yeah, it's sexist.
Load More Replies... MR 1 year ago
Look, she had 3 chances to correct her behavior. She chose not to. Yes, she could have chosen her words better and needs to work on herself for that. But I sincerely doubt if this child were a boy she'd react any differently. What she did was rude. And, again, she received multiple warnings. Her reaction was very appropriate.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
How did Mom, who beleives her daughter has a fart fetish, who knows her daughter watches fart prank videos all day, not cover this ground before dinner? Perhaps it wasn't ladylike to discuss, manners, expectations, and consequences before guests arrive? This didn't have to be a blow up argument that made everyone uncomfortable. Seems like mom knew her daughter would do this and was trying to use public shaming to parent for her.
Boredomcured 1 year ago
In the post she wrote that she set expectations for the whole family to be on their best behaviour and to leave topics of bodily functions off the dinner table. So Mom did cover that ground.
Load More Replies... V 1 year ago
NTA for not wanting non accidental farts and burps at mealtimes, but definitely YTA for how it's been dealt with. Before I read the comments it sounded like a hyperfixation or stimming thing to me, too. So it needs to be redirected into something else, not told it's unladylike or a fetish, that's not going to help.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Sometimes you have to give out a harsh penalty if your warnings have been ignored. The YTA brigade should go for dancing lessons with Oscar, starting with foxtrot.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
GAWD I hate that term "ladylike". It's used to separate expectations of what a girl is allowed vs. what is expected of boys, which the latter is usually held with much more leniency. I agree with banana13's comment. The daughter is hyperfixiated, but it's not the topic that's the problem. Just the timing of when she brings it up. She could be copying characters in movies, which tend to have a lot of burp and fart humour. She could very well be copying the men in her family. She wants to feel included. I'm all for table manners and being polite, but for pete sakes, she needs to calm down. It's not like bodily functions are a crime.
Baali Venomax 1 year ago
Overkill. Farting is a normal bodily function and at 14, a lot of things seem funny. I belch and fart when in public and I'm not embaressed(I'm female for the record) but my parents never told me that it wasnt Ladylike, more like, you should just apologise if you do it in public or around strangers. They were used to me doing that a lot because I had severe bowel problems as a kid so I couldn't help it. If she finds the subject fascinating, well, there are weirder things she could focus on and she might decide to focus on something else when she gets older. If the boys are getting away with it, thats a no no. Why should her brothers get away with it if she cant? That breeds resentment against you for holding her to a double standard. So things get a bit stinky, open a window or spray air freshner. You made her cry. What she will take from the family dinner is nothing other than you made her cry, for just trying to cheer people up and she won't forget that easily.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
My question is this: if it were one of the boys, would they be punished in the same way? If yes, then it isn't sexist. If no... well. I do think OP could have communicated better. Communicate not just the expectations but the consequences for breaking them. Or, a crazy thought, communicate to the dear aunt and grandma and relatives ahead of time that she's got this thing going on with farts and might push those boundaries a bit at the table. If she's looking into it that deeply, maybe be a little less appalled by her curiosity.
Paul C 1 year ago
If you want to teach children that farts are not funny, explain to them that when they breath in the smell they are actually breathing in someone's s**t and taking it deep into their lungs. If they smell their own, they are breathing in their own s**t. Who wants that going down your throat and into your lungs? That usually convinces them.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
So scare them into holding in their gas? Do you know how dangerous that is?
Load More Replies... Connie Williamson 1 year ago
Even though she is 14, having high function Autism will put her in the age range of 10, 11 years old. She is only a teen by calendar age. If her Dad and brothers often find farting funny, she was only emulating their behavior. Taking her away from the table and explaining what was wrong with the farting at the table and give her a chance to apologize would be a better way to handle the situation.
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