Mom Asks 18-Year-Old Daughter To Contribute £75 To Bills Since She Has A Job, The Daughter Finds It Outrageous
Between the rising cost of living and rent, it’s pretty normal for young people to live with their parents while they figure out their own lives and build some savings. Some parents might charge symbolic rent or ask to help with covering some of the utilities. For those who live by themselves, these prices might seem comically low.
A mom asked the internet if she was being unreasonable to ask her daughter to pay just 15£ more a month to cover the bills. Despite having more disposable income and living with her mother, the daughter thought this request was ridiculous and threw a tantrum.
More info: Mumsnet
Bills aren’t fun for anyone, but living with one’s parents is a common way to save money
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So a mom was surprised when her daughter was infuriated when she was asked to pay 15£ to help with utilities
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska
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At first glance, OP’s daughter seems selfish and is angry at a good deal
Image credits: Austin Guevara (not the actual photo)
Cost of living increases have touched most families and the UK, where this story is set, happens to be no different. The same can be said for rent and mortgages. A recent survey found that roughly a third of Britons now struggle to make rent or mortgage payments and about 40% saw the cost of accommodation rise over the last six months. Most would jump and probably do even more at the chance of basically rent-free living as accommodation tends to be one of the largest expenses all of us face every month. Another significant rising cost is food and beverages, which also saw price increases across the UK last year. OP mentions getting a grocery store discount from her daughter’s previous job which no doubt was lovely when it was in effect.
With gas and electricity getting significantly more expensive in the UK since early 2022, the mom asking for a literally minuscule increase in “rent” from her daughter seems more than fair. Electricity prices alone rose 66% over the last year, with gas prices also steadily climbing. While OP does not provide the details, it seems unlikely that her bills only rose by 15£. So her daughter is not only getting a good deal, she is getting one that, contrary to economic norms, appears protected against the cost of inflation and price increases.
But many young people lack financial literacy and often are not fully aware of the economic situation around them
Image credits: Jack Sparrow (not the actual photo)
n her daughter’s defense, she doesn’t seem to understand just how good she has it. If a person hasn’t dealt with the reality of rent increases and bigger and bigger bills, they may not be equipped to evaluate their current situation. After all, most of us as young adults or even teens might remember that initial rage when we realized how much of our income “disappears” as tax. Young adults in general tend to have poor financial literacy and often do not understand how to evaluate certain costs properly. A study of the spending habits of US young adults found that most if given a credit card, would go over their limits. Most also would not consider investing as an alternative to spending, though this may be changing with the rise of cryptocurrency and day trading.
Younger people tend to also not fully grasp time and its impacts. Firstly, by definition, they are young so they do not have as wide a frame of reference to compare to. Secondly, see larger periods like months or years as “longer” than they might be. Since they tend to not have much experience with money in general, they attach irrational emotions to certain amounts. For example, when asked if they would prefer 100$ now or 130$ in three years, most US students opted for the former. But when offered 10 ‘000$ now or 13’ 000$ in three years, they generally preferred the larger sum. Similarly, most were unsure if being 20’000$ dollars in debt by 22 was a good or bad thing and offered a neutral response. So OP’s daughter is perhaps not selfish or greedy but simply is not fully aware of the economic situation.
Someone raised the question of why the daughter should be paying at all
But people were quick to give them an eye-opening answer
Other commenters sided with the mom and challenged the daughter to find a better deal elsewhere
After my son graduated and then turned 19, he was asked to contribute $100 per month toward expenses (he was eating us out of house and home and he had a job). He threw a fit and said he was moving out. We said 'fine, it's a lot more expensive to live out there'. He couch-hopped for just under a year then came home and apologized for being an idiot. By then, costs had gone up and he had to pay twice what we had offered. And he did it without complaint until he finally got a place to share with friends. I'm okay with adult children staying at home but they have to contribute since household costs increase.
75£ a MONTH? DD should be happy she gets to live basically free while she "finds herself"
I think parents should support their children until they finish school. Ever since a kid has a job and still lives with its parents, it should be normal to somehow contribute.
As she clearly stated, her daughter is not going to school but has a job.
Load More Replies... I don't see anything unreasonable in expecting your adult children to contribute to the household expenses. My son & his girlfriend both lived with me. Not only were they both constantly eating, drinking the coffee & Diet Coke, they were using the electricity, they were both taking hot showers every day, etc. No, neither of them were going to school. I thought $100 each was more than fair (hell, that barely covered the extra groceries).
I charged my daughter $200/mnth. I wanted to teach her the responsibility of paying a bill. I was fortunate enough to be able to surprise gift her back what she had paid when she moved out.
Okay, let me play Devil's Advocate. As a young person, I understand the frustration the daughter is feeling. But let me make it clear. The mom is not in the wrong here. My single mother makes me and my sister pay for car insurance now that we're both working. I just think there should have been some consistency with expectations. If the daughter is expected to pay 75 dollars (excuse my American language) for food, and her work gives a discount for 15 dollars, the daughter is really only paying for 50. Her work is paying the other 15 . She's not really paying the full expected amount. The other 15, again, to maintain expectations and consistency, should have been put to contributing to (I'm assuming they share a car) car insurance, car washes, or maybe even part of the phone bill, a utility. As someone said earlier, just because your wages and earnings go down, your bill stay the same. I know it's easy to criticize after the fact. I'm just calling it how I see it. Ruling: Mom's NBU.
Our kids payed rent once they finished school. The only exception was when they were ill and couldn't work. It's an important responsibility for them to learn. They also helped out with cooking, cleaning, and yard work. Ordinary things that are part of adult life. They paid 200€ a month and people thought we were spoiling them for paying so little.
My 25-year-old son still lives at home with us, he pays £350 a month for rent, all his food and beverages, internet, heating, laundry, electricity etc. It would cost him more than 3 times that if he moved out.
I love how the UK version is AIBU and not AITA. It fits. My hubs is British and he curses so much less than i do.
AIBU is Mumsnet speak, AITA is Reddit. I'm a Brit and I can assure you that we swear a heck of a lot.
Load More Replies...
She's complaining about £75 a month and I have to give up all but $50 of EVERY check. The entitlement is real.
I asked my adult working 20 something son living at home to contribute financially to the household which included 3 teenage sisters in school yet. It was tough raising four kids and we weren't rich by any stretch of the imagination. He angrily refused and said we sucked and he couldn't stand it at home. I said ok, well, I'll put an ad in the paper. Available now. Free room. Food, laundry, electric, water, heat, internet are free. Just responsible for cleaning room and quiet in the evening. I'll have a line of hundreds of people begging to have what you have.
Kick this womanchild out ... she is 18.. an adult... and If she is complaining about chipping in then give this brat the boot. After living on her own or with her BF, she will quickly learn how good she had it... and if she wants back, make her pay actual rent, up to and including utilities. Or tell her to go join the military.. sounds like a little discipline wouldn't hurt this ungrateful womanchild.
If you need the money, then its perfectly reasonable to ask her to contribute…clue her in to your expenses so she feels it all and gets a life lesson in budgeting money. Raising her rent because of the loss of the grocery store discount seems petty and manipulative to me for a mom to do to her kid.
If the kid is an ADULT and working full-time (no longer in school), then they should be expected to contribute to the household expenses and pay some sort of rent! It doesn't need to be a full rent that they would have to pay living on their own, but it teaches the kid to be a RESPONSIBLE ADULT!! otherwise, they'll be in for a VERY rude awakening when they get out on their own and have no idea how to manage their money and pay for much higher living expenses!!
Load More Replies... Cultures aside and as an ADULT, helping to contribute monetarily to making sure a roof is over your head, food is on your mouth, there's power & water...these are things ANY adult should want to do to help out. It doesn't mean home is no longer a sanctuary nor that parents are now the enemy for asking a GROWN PERSON WHO IS CAPABLE to chip in. I also don't think it's reasonable to say that if someone has a baby, their home and happiness is forever under the mercy of that child even into adulthood.
Load More Replies...
After my son graduated and then turned 19, he was asked to contribute $100 per month toward expenses (he was eating us out of house and home and he had a job). He threw a fit and said he was moving out. We said 'fine, it's a lot more expensive to live out there'. He couch-hopped for just under a year then came home and apologized for being an idiot. By then, costs had gone up and he had to pay twice what we had offered. And he did it without complaint until he finally got a place to share with friends. I'm okay with adult children staying at home but they have to contribute since household costs increase.
75£ a MONTH? DD should be happy she gets to live basically free while she "finds herself"
I think parents should support their children until they finish school. Ever since a kid has a job and still lives with its parents, it should be normal to somehow contribute.
As she clearly stated, her daughter is not going to school but has a job.
Load More Replies... I don't see anything unreasonable in expecting your adult children to contribute to the household expenses. My son & his girlfriend both lived with me. Not only were they both constantly eating, drinking the coffee & Diet Coke, they were using the electricity, they were both taking hot showers every day, etc. No, neither of them were going to school. I thought $100 each was more than fair (hell, that barely covered the extra groceries).
I charged my daughter $200/mnth. I wanted to teach her the responsibility of paying a bill. I was fortunate enough to be able to surprise gift her back what she had paid when she moved out.
Okay, let me play Devil's Advocate. As a young person, I understand the frustration the daughter is feeling. But let me make it clear. The mom is not in the wrong here. My single mother makes me and my sister pay for car insurance now that we're both working. I just think there should have been some consistency with expectations. If the daughter is expected to pay 75 dollars (excuse my American language) for food, and her work gives a discount for 15 dollars, the daughter is really only paying for 50. Her work is paying the other 15 . She's not really paying the full expected amount. The other 15, again, to maintain expectations and consistency, should have been put to contributing to (I'm assuming they share a car) car insurance, car washes, or maybe even part of the phone bill, a utility. As someone said earlier, just because your wages and earnings go down, your bill stay the same. I know it's easy to criticize after the fact. I'm just calling it how I see it. Ruling: Mom's NBU.
Our kids payed rent once they finished school. The only exception was when they were ill and couldn't work. It's an important responsibility for them to learn. They also helped out with cooking, cleaning, and yard work. Ordinary things that are part of adult life. They paid 200€ a month and people thought we were spoiling them for paying so little.
My 25-year-old son still lives at home with us, he pays £350 a month for rent, all his food and beverages, internet, heating, laundry, electricity etc. It would cost him more than 3 times that if he moved out.
I love how the UK version is AIBU and not AITA. It fits. My hubs is British and he curses so much less than i do.
AIBU is Mumsnet speak, AITA is Reddit. I'm a Brit and I can assure you that we swear a heck of a lot.
Load More Replies... She's complaining about £75 a month and I have to give up all but $50 of EVERY check. The entitlement is real.
I asked my adult working 20 something son living at home to contribute financially to the household which included 3 teenage sisters in school yet. It was tough raising four kids and we weren't rich by any stretch of the imagination. He angrily refused and said we sucked and he couldn't stand it at home. I said ok, well, I'll put an ad in the paper. Available now. Free room. Food, laundry, electric, water, heat, internet are free. Just responsible for cleaning room and quiet in the evening. I'll have a line of hundreds of people begging to have what you have.
Kick this womanchild out ... she is 18.. an adult... and If she is complaining about chipping in then give this brat the boot. After living on her own or with her BF, she will quickly learn how good she had it... and if she wants back, make her pay actual rent, up to and including utilities. Or tell her to go join the military.. sounds like a little discipline wouldn't hurt this ungrateful womanchild.
If you need the money, then its perfectly reasonable to ask her to contribute…clue her in to your expenses so she feels it all and gets a life lesson in budgeting money. Raising her rent because of the loss of the grocery store discount seems petty and manipulative to me for a mom to do to her kid.
If the kid is an ADULT and working full-time (no longer in school), then they should be expected to contribute to the household expenses and pay some sort of rent! It doesn't need to be a full rent that they would have to pay living on their own, but it teaches the kid to be a RESPONSIBLE ADULT!! otherwise, they'll be in for a VERY rude awakening when they get out on their own and have no idea how to manage their money and pay for much higher living expenses!!
Load More Replies... Cultures aside and as an ADULT, helping to contribute monetarily to making sure a roof is over your head, food is on your mouth, there's power & water...these are things ANY adult should want to do to help out. It doesn't mean home is no longer a sanctuary nor that parents are now the enemy for asking a GROWN PERSON WHO IS CAPABLE to chip in. I also don't think it's reasonable to say that if someone has a baby, their home and happiness is forever under the mercy of that child even into adulthood.
Load More Replies...
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