“Am I A Jerk For Canceling The Entire Vacation When I Found Out That My Stepdaughters Deliberately Hid My Daughter’s Passport To Get Her To Stay Home?”
Step Siblings can be pretty weird, like a person that now lives in your house but you often don’t know them nearly as long as you would a brother or sister. So naturally, there could be some conflict, but one would think that an adult would be able to set aside such pettiness in the name of family.
A dad wanted to know if he was in the wrong for canceling a big family vacation after his adult stepdaughters hid his biological kid’s passport. In a cosmically selfish move, they wanted to make sure OP’s daughter would stay behind and babysit their kids. Fortunately, Dad put his foot down and called the whole thing off.
Family drama can be hard to deal with, but sometimes it’s pretty clear who are the bad guys in a situation
Image credits: Vinta Supply Co. | NYC (not the actual photo)
A Dad wanted to know if he was a jerk for calling off a big family trip after his daughter’s passport was hidden by her stepdaughters
The Dad knew the story didn’t make much sense, but his daughter couldn’t travel without a passport
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Positive-Elk-8110
Stepfamilies come with their own sets of unique challenges
It’s generally never easy to learn one is going to have stepsiblings. Firstly, this is often the result of an already broken relationship, a divorce, or even a death. Now a child has to deal with their remaining parent potentially having to split attention and resources in a new direction, all for some unknown entity. This nervousness naturally can cause some tension and friction, as both households try to come to terms with a new arrangement. During cohabitation, the main difficulty that often arises is the precise one in OP’s story, that one parent might favor a child over another. A parent favoring their own child might elicit a similar reaction from the other parent, who will become overprotective of their offspring to protect them from favoritism. This inevitably leads to infighting and can be a pretty strong test of a relationship.
Of course, in OP’s story, basically, all the players are adults. His daughter, as the youngest, is also the most vulnerable. Generally, adults should be able to move past these initial difficulties, as they are all independent and no longer need a parent to take care of them. However, the stepdaughters seem deeply spoiled, to such an extent that they will play some very childish games to get their way. It is important that an adult faces responsibility for their actions, but some of the blame must be placed at the feet of their mother, who clearly never set proper boundaries and did not step up to protect her partner’s child. Her adult children hiding someone’s passport is a clear sign of downright warped moral boundaries. Similarly, they have now put their kids at risk, as they do not have a concrete babysitter for them.
Image credits: Anete Lusina (not the actual photo)
Psychologists believe that stepchildren are often at higher risk of abuse
Some commenters believed that this story had tell-tale signs of the “Cinderella Effect,” so it’s worth exploring what that is and what it means. Despite the allusions to the story, both men and women can be abusers in a stepchild situation. Research, unfortunately, shows that stepchildren across the board are at higher risk of physical and mental abuse and even more likely to be murdered by a step-parent. This isn’t to say that a step-parent is automatically more abusive, rather, when presented with a child that isn’t their biological offspring, step-parents feel less inhibitions in perpetuating abuse. We do not know if OP’s daughter or even stepdaughters were ever abused, but it’s clear that the mother’s biological children always got preferential treatment.
Most readers absolutely sided with OP and commended him for protecting his daughter
Some did think he should have gotten out of such a toxic household earlier
Dude ... bounce the stepdaughters ... and the wife. B***h that she is. You'd be better off w/o her. See a lawyer, get a hotel room. And, take the daughter on a fab vacation. Just she & you.
Exactly. You wonder just what he was thinking with when he married her.
Load More Replies...These were really good responses. Also, stealing a passport is a massive crime for a reason. That lack of boundaries and entitlement is very dangerous to be around. Clearly they are used to stealing from him and his daughter, and who knows who else. They also attempted to steal time with a father and daughter. What heartless Koontz. My first and second step mothers would be proud.
Those are horrible people and you should get rid of your steldaughters and wife. Your daughter isnt the maid or the nanny and if they thought they could get away with treating your daughter like the hired help then they dont deserve any vacations or holidays. You should take your daughter to a special place for like a month and exclude the horrible people who excluded her. Your wife is straight garbage for helping to hide your daughters passport.
The fact that the wife offered to pay OPs daughter double to stay at home with the grandkids when its family vacation - I would place money on her being the ringleader in this, encouraging her own daughters to sabotage it.
Divorce. Your wife is the kind of person to have raised these entitled, selfish, irresponsible women. The first red flag is your wife has let them move home when both are grown women and mothers, second is she pays for their babysitting because they didn't pay enough, third is she sided with her daughters deceitful behaviour and hasn't once thought they were in the wrong. Please get a divorce.
I agree the stepsisters seem a bit entitled here but don't see any flags with a mother helping her single daughters who are also mother's. The bigger issue is definitely the wife using Jessica as the live in babysitter and the stepdaughters deceitful behavior to sabotage Jessica from going on the trip. The dad definitely should be evaluating this family dynamics.
Load More Replies...Wife claims he ruined the trip for "everybody". Aka he ruined the trip for her and her daughters, his daughter who everyone was happy to leave behind via an evil plot was clearly never "everybody", neither was he. This is next level freaking evil ugly step mother and step sisters. He needs to dump them utterly.
It's interesting how some people can make others feel like the 'bad guy' when they react to inexcusable behavior.
Load More Replies...If you died today your BD would end up with zero. Your BD would be kept around as slave labour. Has your BD become forgetful since you married? Does now lose things all the time? Do the SM and SS's roll eyes and make fun of her for it? Might want to check their closets one day.
Does the wife like her own grandkids? This is first time I have heard of people leaving their kids while they go on vacation. I get pets because of travel restrictions but kids.
I was thinking the same - he says specifically his wife didn't want the grandkids there? What a family!
Load More Replies...When someone shows you who they are....BELIEVE THEM. See an Attorney, and end this marriage before your daughter gets hurt.
Also if there's any shared bank account take half of what's there and cancel any automatic transfers immediately. Open a new account to take care of your share of household expenses asap.
Load More Replies...WTF is wrong with people? What kind of example are these people setting for the children? Manipulation and entitlement will get you what you want? If anyone I knew pulled this kind of stunt I’d be ashamed of them, I’d be seriously considering my friendship and my assessment of them as people.
NTA divorce and leave asap ofcourse, but i have to say the cinderella the prequel comment made me chuckle
Dude, you can't possibly think this is the first time your wife and her two lazy, entitled, self-centered adult daughters have behaved poorly toward your daughter. She's been dealing with their nonsense since she was 13yo.
Wife co-owns the house? Part of a divorce is the division of property. If there’s a mortgage, then either buy her out, or have her buy you out. Do stay on that mortgage, or she’ll stop paying and you’ll be part of the default. You and your daughter go do your own thing together, without the wicked stepsisters and their enabling mother. Cripes, the three of them were treating your daughter like she’s Cinderella, ffs! The difference between the fairytale and your reality is that you are still around to protect your child from those other three wicked women. Also, are the single mother, mid-to-late twenties daughters never going to leave the house? They’re old enough to have graduated college, be able to get good jobs, and support themselves and their kids. Your daughter is only 18, barely out of high school no preparing to go to college. Funny how people can deceive others, and convince them they’ll love their stepchildren as their own. Then, once the wedding ring is on the finger, their real selves come out and are the diametric opposite of the deception.
He could also do what's called a 'forced sale' She needs to buy him out asap or he will have a judge make them put the house up for auction and split the proceeds. If wifey can afford to pay double, she can probably afford to buy him out. Since she has 50% ownership, a re-do loan shouldn't be a problem.
Load More Replies...Time for a divorce. The stepdaughters and wife are so toxic, a naked stroll through Chernobyl would be a breath of fresh air! As for the house. Wifey can either bugger off with her pet hags, and you buy her half, or you move out with your daughter and the skank can buy your half. Then there's option 3, sell the house and split the money 50/50
FFS - these are adults and professional freeloaders. Dump these entitled whiners and let the wife know this as beyond the boundaries of anything acceptable. If she can’t handle, it leave. I get the feeling this guy was being used by his wife to help buy the house and provide professional child care.
You didn't overreact or ruin the trip for everyone, just ruined it for the wife and the 2 single moms. It seems all mom's wanted a break from their children at your expense and Jessica's. Kicking the stepdaughters out won't really solve much or change this situation because it's clear your wife is the AH! Their petty behavior probably would have happened even if the single moms didn't live with you all. So check your wife, don't let her make you out to be the bad guy here when she is the one who shouldn't be trusted.
Yeah, if the adult daughters were asking (forced) to move out, the abuse against your daughter may get worse. Also, who’s funding the +4 people in your house? Joint income? Are all the adults working and contributing (except your daughter)?
Load More Replies...Ditch the wife and stepdaughters. Take a nice holiday with your bio daughter. And honestly, those 2 b***h stepdaughters shouldn't have spawned a brat if they didn't want to be responsible for it.
This story sounds like a combination of "Cinderella" and "The Parent Trap." Your daughter is treated like something you avoid in a stockyard, and you allowed it to go on for five years. YOU need to go on a vacation (albeit a short one). Then honestly ask yourself if being married to that witch in a human costume and allowing her and those demon spawns to continue to abuse Jessica is worth being permanently cut out of her life. Good on you for calling them out on their nasty behavior; now put an end to it, once and for all. Sell your half of the house, move out, and file for divorce. That toxic trio is out to wreck your relationship with your daughter, take everything you've got, then dump you. Call your lawyer and prepare for a battle royale.
I'd divorce the wife and tell her the house is getting sold. How would the wife feel if your daughter did to her daughter's what hers did to your daughter.
Short and sweet. Blood is thicker than water. For your daughters sake reevaluate your life
It is illegal for someone to hold another's passport. Usually passports are considered the property of the government that issued them. In the USA, holding another adult's (At 18 Jessica is an adult) passport against their will is a $250,000 fine and there can even be jail time involved. It’s called impounding another person’s official documentation and belongings. It's a felony and if Beth was involved she is an accessory. You need a lawyer yesterday.
So that marriage will be over in a hurry.... There are few things in life that p**s me off more than grown adults bullying a teenager, and it sounds like Anistasia and Drizela have been doing it for some time.That's 1) totally illegal to steal a passport and 2) horrendously selfish to try force a teenager to stay home and watch your spawn. Don't have kids if you're not willing to take care of them.
This is just not right on any level for those grown a*s women to treat your daughter that way. When you re marry or are in a situation with someone who already has kids please for the children's sake make sure they're the right choice....any red flags at all address them immediately and listen to your children if you're the one taking a chance. Your child should come first. Even if they are adult children toxic is toxic and no one should have to put up with that. This poor guy shouldn't have to choose between his wife and his child but unfortunately seems like the wife and her two grown a*s adult children didn't give him a choice....
We're are the father to these kids. Why are the father of these kids not watching the kids. Why must this guy daughter do it all the time.
If the OP's wife can afford to pay the OP's biological daughter, she can pay for another babysitter for the two single mothers. This could have been negotiated instead of starting a war. "After seeing where my wife stands in this, I'm beginning to consider some things" I hope he sells his half and moves out with his daughter. They've exploited his daughter and refused any compromise long enough. It's highly unlikely they'll change or that their mother will stand up for the youngest sibling.
Load More Replies...This is ridiculous. First of all I would be letting the stepdaughters know they committed a federal crime and the stepmother was in on it too. If she wasn't in on it she would have handled her stepdaughters correctly. And doesn't a family vacation involve the whole family? So why were the grandchildren going to be left behind in the first place? If your wife wanted time away from grandkids then vacation should have been for the two of you. Sounds like she is enabling her kids to rely on you for stability because they have none. They are both single mothers and the fathers aren't in the picture anywhere? You are not responsible for their adult decisions. They can find a place and split expenses between them and it would be better than this living arrangement. So yes I would get a divorce ASAP. And give the stepdaughters 30 day eviction notice. They can figure their own lives out or go to jail.
I am being forced to sell my dream apartment because of the toxic environment being created by The Body Corporate Committee. I have a Committee members living each side of my apartment, and everything I try to do, they are out on the walkway questioning my tradie or installer. My health has suffered immeasurably since I started to be picked on only a day or two after moving in. After quite a lot of confronting talk fests it was discovered I was not the problem. APOLOGY...no, never happened. I seem to be the entertainment value in the monthly newsletters and I find out about the next step in trying to get rid of me in the Committee minutes. My main problem is that I like to make my balcony and courtyard my happy colourful places. I found an old newsletter yesterday espousing the body corps request that all residents keep the parts of their apartment visible from other residents and visitors be clean and tidy and with minimalist furnishings (which have to be approved b4 installing). Blan
Yes, jettison the wife, her spawn, and their children. DO NOT leave your house for a vacation with your daughter or to live in a hotel, etc., because in most modern divorces where the house is equally owned, the house is awarded to the person who stays in the house. And don't think for an instant that they won't gang up on you and lie to say that you had meant to leave forever when all you were doing is taking your daughter on vacation. And yes, a lie like that won't look logical, because you'll have travel documents, etc., but sympathy of the court will unfortunately be on the side of three women and their young children if you leave for any meaningful span of time.
I would rethink this whole marriage/family thing. Go get your own house.
You are not only NTA, you are an outstanding father. These women are bullies, and all of them are old enough to know better. It's so sad that your wife condones and joins in on this bullying. Your daughter is being mistreated. It would be unacceptable in any other situation. Do not allow this mistreatment to go on another second, Dad. And that goes for you as a husband and stepdad. This won't stop. It will continue and more than likely escalate - look up the cycle of abuse. 5 years can serve as a honeymoon period with people who don't have compassion or empathy. Get out before you waste another moment. Knowing what you are in for is a gift. Once you know you are being mistreated, and speak up without the other showing remorse and true change - then you know what you have. Get out. You are a good egg and you deserve better.
Whats sad is this sounds exactly like something tbat my exstepsister would do to me
That was f****d up! They deliberately lie about the situation. And the wife was all for leaving her stepdaughter. Her daughters have kids, it's their responsibility not their stepsister's responsibility
The ugly stepsisters and the wife were all in on the 'hide the passport / Cinderella ballgown ' fiasco. I wouldn't even be surprised if it was the wife's idea all along as she was totally not even reprimanding her kids or acting shocked that they did that. He needs to prioritise his child over these nasty people.
I think the important question is, is this the first truly bad behaviour on their part? Wanting the daughter to babysit cheap at other times isn't necessarily bad. I'd be revisiting other behaviour over the time they've all been living together to see if there were other red flags.
Holy cow.. this **IS** Cinderella... except without the magical helpers and the prince... it's real life Cinderella with "nice guy" father. Near the beginning, the father noted that at first the daughter babysat and was okay with it, because she was getting paid... then... didn't and the reason given is "not getting paid much" - I have a feeling that was a red flag dad should've seen that at that moment, the line crossed into bullying/abuse. Sounds like she started refusing to babysit because treatment had gotten so bad, getting paid wasn't enough. She sounds like she didn't want to whine though, so she gave a 'meh' excuse... hoping that dad would see it didn't make much sense... so... wtg dad for being so 'attentive' to your daughter, that you just said "oh, okay!!! Things are great still! La la la la la"
Again I find it odd that grown adults go on vacation with their parents. I don't think I've been on a vacation with my folks since I was like 10. They have their vacations u have mine
Wow - what an awful mess. I wouldn’t be able to live with those horrible people anymore after that debacle.
Wife was in on it. Guaranteed. Leave her and force sale of co-owned house. You have 2 grown-a*5 single mums and their offspring living with you? It’s like Cinderella on anabolic steroids!!
Accept it, change it, or eliminate it OP. You've given the wife & stepdaughters cause to believe you & your daughter are OK w/ cow towing to them. I'm assuming sh*t like this has been going on the past 5 yrs- we tend to get what we settle for. Hopefully you'll figure out your own role in this mess & try to help your daughter OP. YTA- not for cancelling the vacay, but for being such a putz.
Is it wrong to assume that the childlike antics of the ADULT stepdaughters were gleaned from their mother? By the sounds of it, Beth doesn't really give a shıt about Jessica. Perhaps it's time for OP to rethink his relationship with these toxic women. He has to keep his bionic daughter's best interests at heart. (she is half robot, after all)
I’d find me and my daughter a place to live and bounce. Leave that women with her two childish women.
Time for you and your daughter to GTFO ASAP. Y'all don't need that toxic b******t in your lives. NTA times infinity btw.
Oh goody, another episode of Generate Engagement By Stirring Petty Emotions With Transparent "Dilemma"
Dude ... bounce the stepdaughters ... and the wife. B***h that she is. You'd be better off w/o her. See a lawyer, get a hotel room. And, take the daughter on a fab vacation. Just she & you.
Exactly. You wonder just what he was thinking with when he married her.
Load More Replies...These were really good responses. Also, stealing a passport is a massive crime for a reason. That lack of boundaries and entitlement is very dangerous to be around. Clearly they are used to stealing from him and his daughter, and who knows who else. They also attempted to steal time with a father and daughter. What heartless Koontz. My first and second step mothers would be proud.
Those are horrible people and you should get rid of your steldaughters and wife. Your daughter isnt the maid or the nanny and if they thought they could get away with treating your daughter like the hired help then they dont deserve any vacations or holidays. You should take your daughter to a special place for like a month and exclude the horrible people who excluded her. Your wife is straight garbage for helping to hide your daughters passport.
The fact that the wife offered to pay OPs daughter double to stay at home with the grandkids when its family vacation - I would place money on her being the ringleader in this, encouraging her own daughters to sabotage it.
Divorce. Your wife is the kind of person to have raised these entitled, selfish, irresponsible women. The first red flag is your wife has let them move home when both are grown women and mothers, second is she pays for their babysitting because they didn't pay enough, third is she sided with her daughters deceitful behaviour and hasn't once thought they were in the wrong. Please get a divorce.
I agree the stepsisters seem a bit entitled here but don't see any flags with a mother helping her single daughters who are also mother's. The bigger issue is definitely the wife using Jessica as the live in babysitter and the stepdaughters deceitful behavior to sabotage Jessica from going on the trip. The dad definitely should be evaluating this family dynamics.
Load More Replies...Wife claims he ruined the trip for "everybody". Aka he ruined the trip for her and her daughters, his daughter who everyone was happy to leave behind via an evil plot was clearly never "everybody", neither was he. This is next level freaking evil ugly step mother and step sisters. He needs to dump them utterly.
It's interesting how some people can make others feel like the 'bad guy' when they react to inexcusable behavior.
Load More Replies...If you died today your BD would end up with zero. Your BD would be kept around as slave labour. Has your BD become forgetful since you married? Does now lose things all the time? Do the SM and SS's roll eyes and make fun of her for it? Might want to check their closets one day.
Does the wife like her own grandkids? This is first time I have heard of people leaving their kids while they go on vacation. I get pets because of travel restrictions but kids.
I was thinking the same - he says specifically his wife didn't want the grandkids there? What a family!
Load More Replies...When someone shows you who they are....BELIEVE THEM. See an Attorney, and end this marriage before your daughter gets hurt.
Also if there's any shared bank account take half of what's there and cancel any automatic transfers immediately. Open a new account to take care of your share of household expenses asap.
Load More Replies...WTF is wrong with people? What kind of example are these people setting for the children? Manipulation and entitlement will get you what you want? If anyone I knew pulled this kind of stunt I’d be ashamed of them, I’d be seriously considering my friendship and my assessment of them as people.
NTA divorce and leave asap ofcourse, but i have to say the cinderella the prequel comment made me chuckle
Dude, you can't possibly think this is the first time your wife and her two lazy, entitled, self-centered adult daughters have behaved poorly toward your daughter. She's been dealing with their nonsense since she was 13yo.
Wife co-owns the house? Part of a divorce is the division of property. If there’s a mortgage, then either buy her out, or have her buy you out. Do stay on that mortgage, or she’ll stop paying and you’ll be part of the default. You and your daughter go do your own thing together, without the wicked stepsisters and their enabling mother. Cripes, the three of them were treating your daughter like she’s Cinderella, ffs! The difference between the fairytale and your reality is that you are still around to protect your child from those other three wicked women. Also, are the single mother, mid-to-late twenties daughters never going to leave the house? They’re old enough to have graduated college, be able to get good jobs, and support themselves and their kids. Your daughter is only 18, barely out of high school no preparing to go to college. Funny how people can deceive others, and convince them they’ll love their stepchildren as their own. Then, once the wedding ring is on the finger, their real selves come out and are the diametric opposite of the deception.
He could also do what's called a 'forced sale' She needs to buy him out asap or he will have a judge make them put the house up for auction and split the proceeds. If wifey can afford to pay double, she can probably afford to buy him out. Since she has 50% ownership, a re-do loan shouldn't be a problem.
Load More Replies...Time for a divorce. The stepdaughters and wife are so toxic, a naked stroll through Chernobyl would be a breath of fresh air! As for the house. Wifey can either bugger off with her pet hags, and you buy her half, or you move out with your daughter and the skank can buy your half. Then there's option 3, sell the house and split the money 50/50
FFS - these are adults and professional freeloaders. Dump these entitled whiners and let the wife know this as beyond the boundaries of anything acceptable. If she can’t handle, it leave. I get the feeling this guy was being used by his wife to help buy the house and provide professional child care.
You didn't overreact or ruin the trip for everyone, just ruined it for the wife and the 2 single moms. It seems all mom's wanted a break from their children at your expense and Jessica's. Kicking the stepdaughters out won't really solve much or change this situation because it's clear your wife is the AH! Their petty behavior probably would have happened even if the single moms didn't live with you all. So check your wife, don't let her make you out to be the bad guy here when she is the one who shouldn't be trusted.
Yeah, if the adult daughters were asking (forced) to move out, the abuse against your daughter may get worse. Also, who’s funding the +4 people in your house? Joint income? Are all the adults working and contributing (except your daughter)?
Load More Replies...Ditch the wife and stepdaughters. Take a nice holiday with your bio daughter. And honestly, those 2 b***h stepdaughters shouldn't have spawned a brat if they didn't want to be responsible for it.
This story sounds like a combination of "Cinderella" and "The Parent Trap." Your daughter is treated like something you avoid in a stockyard, and you allowed it to go on for five years. YOU need to go on a vacation (albeit a short one). Then honestly ask yourself if being married to that witch in a human costume and allowing her and those demon spawns to continue to abuse Jessica is worth being permanently cut out of her life. Good on you for calling them out on their nasty behavior; now put an end to it, once and for all. Sell your half of the house, move out, and file for divorce. That toxic trio is out to wreck your relationship with your daughter, take everything you've got, then dump you. Call your lawyer and prepare for a battle royale.
I'd divorce the wife and tell her the house is getting sold. How would the wife feel if your daughter did to her daughter's what hers did to your daughter.
Short and sweet. Blood is thicker than water. For your daughters sake reevaluate your life
It is illegal for someone to hold another's passport. Usually passports are considered the property of the government that issued them. In the USA, holding another adult's (At 18 Jessica is an adult) passport against their will is a $250,000 fine and there can even be jail time involved. It’s called impounding another person’s official documentation and belongings. It's a felony and if Beth was involved she is an accessory. You need a lawyer yesterday.
So that marriage will be over in a hurry.... There are few things in life that p**s me off more than grown adults bullying a teenager, and it sounds like Anistasia and Drizela have been doing it for some time.That's 1) totally illegal to steal a passport and 2) horrendously selfish to try force a teenager to stay home and watch your spawn. Don't have kids if you're not willing to take care of them.
This is just not right on any level for those grown a*s women to treat your daughter that way. When you re marry or are in a situation with someone who already has kids please for the children's sake make sure they're the right choice....any red flags at all address them immediately and listen to your children if you're the one taking a chance. Your child should come first. Even if they are adult children toxic is toxic and no one should have to put up with that. This poor guy shouldn't have to choose between his wife and his child but unfortunately seems like the wife and her two grown a*s adult children didn't give him a choice....
We're are the father to these kids. Why are the father of these kids not watching the kids. Why must this guy daughter do it all the time.
If the OP's wife can afford to pay the OP's biological daughter, she can pay for another babysitter for the two single mothers. This could have been negotiated instead of starting a war. "After seeing where my wife stands in this, I'm beginning to consider some things" I hope he sells his half and moves out with his daughter. They've exploited his daughter and refused any compromise long enough. It's highly unlikely they'll change or that their mother will stand up for the youngest sibling.
Load More Replies...This is ridiculous. First of all I would be letting the stepdaughters know they committed a federal crime and the stepmother was in on it too. If she wasn't in on it she would have handled her stepdaughters correctly. And doesn't a family vacation involve the whole family? So why were the grandchildren going to be left behind in the first place? If your wife wanted time away from grandkids then vacation should have been for the two of you. Sounds like she is enabling her kids to rely on you for stability because they have none. They are both single mothers and the fathers aren't in the picture anywhere? You are not responsible for their adult decisions. They can find a place and split expenses between them and it would be better than this living arrangement. So yes I would get a divorce ASAP. And give the stepdaughters 30 day eviction notice. They can figure their own lives out or go to jail.
I am being forced to sell my dream apartment because of the toxic environment being created by The Body Corporate Committee. I have a Committee members living each side of my apartment, and everything I try to do, they are out on the walkway questioning my tradie or installer. My health has suffered immeasurably since I started to be picked on only a day or two after moving in. After quite a lot of confronting talk fests it was discovered I was not the problem. APOLOGY...no, never happened. I seem to be the entertainment value in the monthly newsletters and I find out about the next step in trying to get rid of me in the Committee minutes. My main problem is that I like to make my balcony and courtyard my happy colourful places. I found an old newsletter yesterday espousing the body corps request that all residents keep the parts of their apartment visible from other residents and visitors be clean and tidy and with minimalist furnishings (which have to be approved b4 installing). Blan
Yes, jettison the wife, her spawn, and their children. DO NOT leave your house for a vacation with your daughter or to live in a hotel, etc., because in most modern divorces where the house is equally owned, the house is awarded to the person who stays in the house. And don't think for an instant that they won't gang up on you and lie to say that you had meant to leave forever when all you were doing is taking your daughter on vacation. And yes, a lie like that won't look logical, because you'll have travel documents, etc., but sympathy of the court will unfortunately be on the side of three women and their young children if you leave for any meaningful span of time.
I would rethink this whole marriage/family thing. Go get your own house.
You are not only NTA, you are an outstanding father. These women are bullies, and all of them are old enough to know better. It's so sad that your wife condones and joins in on this bullying. Your daughter is being mistreated. It would be unacceptable in any other situation. Do not allow this mistreatment to go on another second, Dad. And that goes for you as a husband and stepdad. This won't stop. It will continue and more than likely escalate - look up the cycle of abuse. 5 years can serve as a honeymoon period with people who don't have compassion or empathy. Get out before you waste another moment. Knowing what you are in for is a gift. Once you know you are being mistreated, and speak up without the other showing remorse and true change - then you know what you have. Get out. You are a good egg and you deserve better.
Whats sad is this sounds exactly like something tbat my exstepsister would do to me
That was f****d up! They deliberately lie about the situation. And the wife was all for leaving her stepdaughter. Her daughters have kids, it's their responsibility not their stepsister's responsibility
The ugly stepsisters and the wife were all in on the 'hide the passport / Cinderella ballgown ' fiasco. I wouldn't even be surprised if it was the wife's idea all along as she was totally not even reprimanding her kids or acting shocked that they did that. He needs to prioritise his child over these nasty people.
I think the important question is, is this the first truly bad behaviour on their part? Wanting the daughter to babysit cheap at other times isn't necessarily bad. I'd be revisiting other behaviour over the time they've all been living together to see if there were other red flags.
Holy cow.. this **IS** Cinderella... except without the magical helpers and the prince... it's real life Cinderella with "nice guy" father. Near the beginning, the father noted that at first the daughter babysat and was okay with it, because she was getting paid... then... didn't and the reason given is "not getting paid much" - I have a feeling that was a red flag dad should've seen that at that moment, the line crossed into bullying/abuse. Sounds like she started refusing to babysit because treatment had gotten so bad, getting paid wasn't enough. She sounds like she didn't want to whine though, so she gave a 'meh' excuse... hoping that dad would see it didn't make much sense... so... wtg dad for being so 'attentive' to your daughter, that you just said "oh, okay!!! Things are great still! La la la la la"
Again I find it odd that grown adults go on vacation with their parents. I don't think I've been on a vacation with my folks since I was like 10. They have their vacations u have mine
Wow - what an awful mess. I wouldn’t be able to live with those horrible people anymore after that debacle.
Wife was in on it. Guaranteed. Leave her and force sale of co-owned house. You have 2 grown-a*5 single mums and their offspring living with you? It’s like Cinderella on anabolic steroids!!
Accept it, change it, or eliminate it OP. You've given the wife & stepdaughters cause to believe you & your daughter are OK w/ cow towing to them. I'm assuming sh*t like this has been going on the past 5 yrs- we tend to get what we settle for. Hopefully you'll figure out your own role in this mess & try to help your daughter OP. YTA- not for cancelling the vacay, but for being such a putz.
Is it wrong to assume that the childlike antics of the ADULT stepdaughters were gleaned from their mother? By the sounds of it, Beth doesn't really give a shıt about Jessica. Perhaps it's time for OP to rethink his relationship with these toxic women. He has to keep his bionic daughter's best interests at heart. (she is half robot, after all)
I’d find me and my daughter a place to live and bounce. Leave that women with her two childish women.
Time for you and your daughter to GTFO ASAP. Y'all don't need that toxic b******t in your lives. NTA times infinity btw.
Oh goody, another episode of Generate Engagement By Stirring Petty Emotions With Transparent "Dilemma"
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