Dad Complains 23 Y.O. Daughter Isn’t Helping Around The House, She Surprises Family By Secretly Leaving Home For Good
Some say that the concept of family ought to be considered a value, something to be cherished at all costs. And rightfully so. After all, it’s key to who we are as individuals and it’s supposed to be a sort of safety net as far as us being social beings is concerned.
But families don’t always work for everyone, especially if there is conflict and perhaps even exertion of power by parents upon kids, even if the kids are all grown up and you needn’t use extreme emotion to send a message. Or maybe you just need to listen, and not send a message.
Whatever the case, this next story shows just how bad it can get sometimes because of this.
More Info: Reddit
Families don’t always work out for everyone, which leads them to pack up their things and leave
Image credits: XPeria2Day (not the actual photo)
So, 23-year-old Reddit user u/lilacswans recently went to Reddit to get some perspective on a situation she ended up in.
In particular, she asked the Am I The A-Hole community if she was wrong to leave her family home without telling anyone in the family after a fight she had with her dad.
You see, OP is a grad student who is also juggling two jobs (technically, one part-time job and one internship, but still very valid), and she often ends up leaving home early in the morning and coming back late in the evenings. But she still makes an effort to do her part with regards to chores whenever she is at home.
This is exactly what happened to this one Redditor, except the family wasn’t happy about it, despite kinda wanting it to happen
Image credits: lilacswans
One day she decided she’d empty out the dishwasher, but she needed to take a shower first. This turned out to be a grave mistake as dad had a problem with the dishwasher not being empty at this point and proceeded to make a huge fuss about it.
It was such a huge fuss, in fact, that he didn’t seem to even try to listen to OP, or even, in fact, notice that she does do her part around the house. Instead, he started putting her down, calling her useless, and even going so far as to threaten to kick her out of the house.
Image credits: lilacswans
Image credits: noricum (not the actual photo)
Since the 23-year-old’s attempts at explaining herself were in vain, especially when dad specifically told her to shut it, she decided to do the “be careful what you wish for” thing, and simply packed up and left in secret early in the morning.
The parents didn’t take this lightly, though, as they started frantically questioning why she didn’t come home and seemingly asking her to come back. But she was having none of it, and had been living in her car for a week as of the posting of the thread on Reddit.
She also proceeded to block her family, who started bugging her friends in hopes of contacting her. She did end up visiting one friend, who explained that what OP did was awful leaving and ignoring the family like that. But it was clear that OP’s mind was made up—she was threatened, she didn’t feel safe at home, so she left. If anything, she was doing her dad a favor.
And while the family and even OP’s friend didn’t support her, the internet did
But given how many people around her were seemingly against her decision, she wanted to find out if she was actually right here. The internet was, fortunately for her, of a completely different opinion, saying that she is not wrong to have done what she did.
Besides everyone pointing out that she is an adult and can make these decisions, they agreed that threats are a sure red flag that won’t end well no matter how you spin it. It’s abusive, if anything.
Others expressed their support for OP, helping her figure out what the next step ought to be, homeless shelters she should peep out and just giving general advice. Whatever the case, people thought she did the right thing by leaving a toxic environment.
Whatever the case may be, Redditors showed OP some love in the form of nearly 14,000 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards. You can check out the post in context here, but before you do that, why not share your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below!
Who cares about being an Ahole to someone who's emotionally abusing you. I don't give a **** if it's your dad, your mom, or anyone else else in your family. If you aren't treated with humanity, the "be an adult and take responsibility" argument is pathetic. Being an adult doesn't mean taking punches to the face and being cool about it, that's how manipulative people maintain power over you. Being an adult means taking responsibility for your own life and taking the steps to get yourself out of a situation like that however it's done. Block em, and leave them hanging for as long as you want. That's the price a parent must pay for treating their kids like ****. If I treat my daughter with such disrespect and she does that to me, I deserve it, and that's why I'm never going to treat her in a way where she thinks that of me. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
Thank you you said what I was thinking! UPVOTE FOR YOU!!
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Any parent that tells their hard-working college student that 1) they aren't doing anything around the house 2) they could kick them out and 3) they will never get a job and will live with them forever don't deserve to have contact. I probably have left a note but they couldn't be helpful your self-esteem with their negativity.
Ill bet that house is very unorganized, messy, etc., otherwise, why rely so heavily on a kid in college with 2 jobs. What do each of the parents do with chores, what about the other siblings. The treatment this child endured is in fact, worthy of child protective services if there's younger siblings in the house & no kid deserves this. OP is an adult thank God, she got out in time.
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I don't know how she stayed until 23. I was out as soon as I could make that happen. My first apartment was a '73 Pinto hatchback. That said - the parents are concerned and it isn't hard for OP to let them know she's safe. You don't have to burn every bridge just because you crossed it.
Bridges are set on fire by the abuser. There comes a time when the abuser runs out of bridge.
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Who cares about being an Ahole to someone who's emotionally abusing you. I don't give a **** if it's your dad, your mom, or anyone else else in your family. If you aren't treated with humanity, the "be an adult and take responsibility" argument is pathetic. Being an adult doesn't mean taking punches to the face and being cool about it, that's how manipulative people maintain power over you. Being an adult means taking responsibility for your own life and taking the steps to get yourself out of a situation like that however it's done. Block em, and leave them hanging for as long as you want. That's the price a parent must pay for treating their kids like ****. If I treat my daughter with such disrespect and she does that to me, I deserve it, and that's why I'm never going to treat her in a way where she thinks that of me. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
Thank you you said what I was thinking! UPVOTE FOR YOU!!
Load More Replies... Any parent that tells their hard-working college student that 1) they aren't doing anything around the house 2) they could kick them out and 3) they will never get a job and will live with them forever don't deserve to have contact. I probably have left a note but they couldn't be helpful your self-esteem with their negativity.
Ill bet that house is very unorganized, messy, etc., otherwise, why rely so heavily on a kid in college with 2 jobs. What do each of the parents do with chores, what about the other siblings. The treatment this child endured is in fact, worthy of child protective services if there's younger siblings in the house & no kid deserves this. OP is an adult thank God, she got out in time.
Load More Replies... I don't know how she stayed until 23. I was out as soon as I could make that happen. My first apartment was a '73 Pinto hatchback. That said - the parents are concerned and it isn't hard for OP to let them know she's safe. You don't have to burn every bridge just because you crossed it.
Bridges are set on fire by the abuser. There comes a time when the abuser runs out of bridge.
Load More Replies...
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