Nice guys: you know them, you hate them, but you can't get enough of them. There's something addicting about watching these unlikeable fellas in the wild. Maybe it's just our curiosity wondering if they will hit a new low?
Anyway, the best place to observe these specimens is the appropriately titled subreddit r/NiceGuys. We already released a post on this online community, but it keeps growing and featuring more interactions with them, so we have to keep up and make an update!
By the way, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, a "nice guy" is a term used around the internet to describe a man who believes he's entitled to a woman just because he's treating her in a nice way. Continue scrolling and, believe me, you'll get it in no time.
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For our earlier piece on a particularly obnoxious nice guy, counsellor & psychotherapist Tati Silva agreed to share her thoughts on the archetype.
“[I think it's] a man that is physically less attractive [and] tends to compensate by being nice to be able to connect to people," Silva told Bored Panda. "They will overcompensate with over-the-top behaviors. The ‘nice guy’ will use all the tools to charm the person they are interested in. However, if it is not replicated, the ‘nice guy’s’ true colors come to light.”
I Thought Of Making This After A Particularly Nice Weekend
And He Wonders Why He’s Still Single
Silva also agrees with Dr. Glover in that a ‘nice guy’ has a sinister side.
"In the mind of the ‘nice guy’, the person he is pursuing should repay his action by becoming his girlfriend or boyfriend, for him that is how these things work. The ‘nice guy’ will lash out if he does not get what he wants, which might be indirectly influenced by misogynistic entitlement complexes.”
Silva said that misogyny occurs unconsciously, connecting with hatred that forms early in life, often as a result of a trauma involving a female figure they trusted. Of course, there are exceptions. “This doesn’t apply to everyone, there are genuinely nice guys and girls out there that will be okay to be put in a friend-zone, respecting your opinion. They won’t expect anything back.”
The Entitlement To Touch Women
What is gentlemanly about a man who doesn't get the hint that this particular woman doesn't want her hair tucked behind her ear? And, that he continues to reach up to tuck her hair behind her ear, when she clearly doesn't like it, is kinda creepy.
Just...wow
"Who had enough of entitled women". So,... he started murdering them! Wow!! WTF?!?
Can't Even Escape Them On Meme Pages
Yeah, hint: If you are nice, funny, smart, good-looking, etc., people will notice on their own! IF you have to tell them you are something special, you most likely are just deluded with a touch of narcissism and douche 😜
But ‘nice guys’ place themselves as the victim to get what they want — they are nice, so they deserve a chance. At least in their mind. “They evoke notions of fairness when they complain about not receiving the attention they seek.”
“For all the masked ‘nice guys’ out there, it is ok to be vulnerable, be yourself with the person that you would like to date, it might take you a few steps further in your relationship instead of a complete shutdown,” Silva added. “People have the right to say no and owe nothing in return. True kindness is given without expecting nothing in return.”
Yes, Because Paying For Someone’s Food On A Date Means That You’re Entitled To Get Some
If you want to spend money for a guarantee of sex: hire a prostitute. That is literally their job. Dating isn't discount prostitutes. Men or women.
I'm Sure She Would Love This Guy Turning Up At Her Door
A Friend Of Mine Decided She Wasn't Interested In This Guy. I Wonder Why?
Never Leave The House, Be Social Or Enjoy Your Life Because If You Do, No Good Man/Nice Guy Will Ever Want You...
Nice Guy Wants To Convert To Islam So That He Gets His Complimentary Wife...
That’s Not The Point Of The Post Though? She Wants To Be Friends With People Who Don’t See Her As A Sex Toy, Not Date Them
After A Nice Guy Found Out My Cousin Was A Sexual Assualt Survivor, He Tried To Get Her Number From Me So He Can Provide "Helpful Advice"
That was violating just to read. Disgusting. That person needs reported on a predator watchlist. Seriously.
This Was Just Right There, And I Instantly Though Of This Sub
I was just thinking “this guy seems genuinely nice” and then this time traveler shows up
Today I Was Reminded Why I Don’t Post Photos Of Myself On Social Media
Man Annoyed His Female Friend Won’t Sleep With Him
Should have ended with..." someone who appreciates you in a sexual way." I mean just because his lady friend doesn't want to have a sexual relationship with him does not mean she doesn't appreciate him, or their friendship.
The Cringe Is Real
Found On Facebook
Imagine being this awful with other humans. Does he also lash out at men who don't want to befriend him?
This Guy Always Tried Pushing The Convo To Sexual Places, And I've Repeatedly Shut Him Down. This Was The Last Straw
Is It Really That Easy To Summon Them From Their Caves?
I Blocked Him But He Keeps Calling Me From Restricted Numbers...
He Stopped Responding
Saw This Post By The Hard Times And Immediately Thought Of This Sub
A Nice Guy Who Is Also A Sex Offender... She Dodged A Bullet
Came Across A Nice Guy Who Wants To Know Why He's Being Turned Down
20 Year Old ‘Rich’ Nice Guy, Hitting On My 16 Year Old Niece
If anyone says "I'm a really nice guy," run. Truly nice people don't need to say they're nice. It's a definite red flag.
Thank God I Was Only 13 At The Time And Not A 30 Year Old Lurker
I'm Married. So I Just Jokingly Described My Husband
Note: this post originally had 55 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
Just wanna say that people know when you're only being nice in the hopes of a sexual favour. The creepiness is pretty much evident from the get go. It's like a 6th sense that women/people develop to keep safe from potential weirdos.
Exactly! And that's the answer to everyone that says: oh i can't flirt anymore because women think I'm a creep!
What breaks my heart is that we haven't learnt to answer back properly! And by properly i mean to be really rude and tell those guys to f**k off!! We learn from a young age to be polite and kind and say thanks but no and this runs so deep in our system that we keep doing it even when they humiliate and insult us!!! If there are no safety reasons i would say we should be more aggressive not because we need to be like them to get the message but because enough is enough!
Unfortunately there are *always* safety reasons. A man who grew up close to where I lived just killed his girlfriend, her two children, and a little girl on a sleepover.
Having things like this happen in your close proximity can be such a horrifying experience. I've been reading about this in the news and it's absolutely heartbreaking and disturbing. I'm so sorry for all the people affected by this horrendous tragedy.
I had a guy threaten to kill me and then find my parents and kill them all because I didn't want to date him after he threatened to f**k my best friend because she jokingly said that his voice was a little high. So yeah, it can be really dangerous to tell these guys off.
Understandable! Safety comes first always! I was talking only about cases of complete strangers online that cannot reach you of course! Sorry for what you've been through....
Thank you, Vicky! What you're saying does make sense! As long as these guys know the bare minimum about you, they should be told off (heck, track down their mothers and send the screenshots to them!).
I also think it's a matter of not wasting energy on these types of situations. If you have to start a discussion with every disrespectful guy you run into online, it would be like a full time job lol.
I'm always terrified to be anything but "nice" to the crazies online. It's so easy for them to cyberstalk you or even find phone numbers and addresses. I usually end things quickly and politely and then block asap.
A response/statement that I usually give males is: “a man is fair and you aren’t being fair, so you aren’t a man. A man wants for others to respect his decision if he’s not interested, so fairly, a man would respect a woman’s (or girl’s) decision if she said that she isn’t interested (or said something with that meaning), and he would then fairly go away, just like he would want the girl he isn’t interested in to go away from him.” But I have only said such things to males online; I don’t really go out by myself so I don’t deal with creeps/predators in real life (luckily), so I am not sure if such statements are safe to say to males in real life (predatory males are like rabid unhinged dogs, and honestly, a person can’t talk sense into rabid dogs, but, if all women and girls started sharing such statements online to enough predators, then, maybe it would become ‘common knowledge’ and then there would be less creeps?)also: any male that says the ‘bi**h’ word is a male that deserves to be called a pig. Because since he didn’t respect her rightful humanity, he fairly doesn’t deserve to have his humanity be respected. A man is fair, after all, so he should fairly accept being called a pig if he called a woman or a girl a ‘bit**’.
These kinds of posts concern me... it really is disturbing that there are so many men/boys out there with a skewed sense of entitlement in regards to women. I take women to dinner(and they sometimes take me) and spend time with them because I like them and enjoy their company...
That sense of entitlement also always reminds me that these kinds of men are not just an awkward nuisance, but seriously scary. Almost all of them sound like they're on the verge of raping or attacking a woman. Maybe it's sexist, but it's something I keep in the back of my mind any time I'm semi-alone with a man/men.
Yeah, basically paying for someone's time :)
The words ‘entitlement’ and ‘entitled’ don’t help change those lacking in manhood males. In my opinion (that I expressed to a number of predatory males online and saw actual good results from), using terms like, ‘ r@p!st ideology’ ; ‘psychopathy’ and ‘lack in manhood’ (because a male lacks manhood and he is a psychopath with a clear r@pe ideology if he believes that women/or girls don’t have a right to reject him). Telling such males those alternate terms might actually get some of them to wake up and stop their predatory, psychotic behavior towards women and girls (again, it seemed to have worked on a number of predators that I unfortunately dealt with). But good on you, Oskar, for having the self respect and dignity to be decent to women.
Just wanna say that people know when you're only being nice in the hopes of a sexual favour. The creepiness is pretty much evident from the get go. It's like a 6th sense that women/people develop to keep safe from potential weirdos.
Exactly! And that's the answer to everyone that says: oh i can't flirt anymore because women think I'm a creep!
What breaks my heart is that we haven't learnt to answer back properly! And by properly i mean to be really rude and tell those guys to f**k off!! We learn from a young age to be polite and kind and say thanks but no and this runs so deep in our system that we keep doing it even when they humiliate and insult us!!! If there are no safety reasons i would say we should be more aggressive not because we need to be like them to get the message but because enough is enough!
Unfortunately there are *always* safety reasons. A man who grew up close to where I lived just killed his girlfriend, her two children, and a little girl on a sleepover.
Having things like this happen in your close proximity can be such a horrifying experience. I've been reading about this in the news and it's absolutely heartbreaking and disturbing. I'm so sorry for all the people affected by this horrendous tragedy.
I had a guy threaten to kill me and then find my parents and kill them all because I didn't want to date him after he threatened to f**k my best friend because she jokingly said that his voice was a little high. So yeah, it can be really dangerous to tell these guys off.
Understandable! Safety comes first always! I was talking only about cases of complete strangers online that cannot reach you of course! Sorry for what you've been through....
Thank you, Vicky! What you're saying does make sense! As long as these guys know the bare minimum about you, they should be told off (heck, track down their mothers and send the screenshots to them!).
I also think it's a matter of not wasting energy on these types of situations. If you have to start a discussion with every disrespectful guy you run into online, it would be like a full time job lol.
I'm always terrified to be anything but "nice" to the crazies online. It's so easy for them to cyberstalk you or even find phone numbers and addresses. I usually end things quickly and politely and then block asap.
A response/statement that I usually give males is: “a man is fair and you aren’t being fair, so you aren’t a man. A man wants for others to respect his decision if he’s not interested, so fairly, a man would respect a woman’s (or girl’s) decision if she said that she isn’t interested (or said something with that meaning), and he would then fairly go away, just like he would want the girl he isn’t interested in to go away from him.” But I have only said such things to males online; I don’t really go out by myself so I don’t deal with creeps/predators in real life (luckily), so I am not sure if such statements are safe to say to males in real life (predatory males are like rabid unhinged dogs, and honestly, a person can’t talk sense into rabid dogs, but, if all women and girls started sharing such statements online to enough predators, then, maybe it would become ‘common knowledge’ and then there would be less creeps?)also: any male that says the ‘bi**h’ word is a male that deserves to be called a pig. Because since he didn’t respect her rightful humanity, he fairly doesn’t deserve to have his humanity be respected. A man is fair, after all, so he should fairly accept being called a pig if he called a woman or a girl a ‘bit**’.
These kinds of posts concern me... it really is disturbing that there are so many men/boys out there with a skewed sense of entitlement in regards to women. I take women to dinner(and they sometimes take me) and spend time with them because I like them and enjoy their company...
That sense of entitlement also always reminds me that these kinds of men are not just an awkward nuisance, but seriously scary. Almost all of them sound like they're on the verge of raping or attacking a woman. Maybe it's sexist, but it's something I keep in the back of my mind any time I'm semi-alone with a man/men.
Yeah, basically paying for someone's time :)
The words ‘entitlement’ and ‘entitled’ don’t help change those lacking in manhood males. In my opinion (that I expressed to a number of predatory males online and saw actual good results from), using terms like, ‘ r@p!st ideology’ ; ‘psychopathy’ and ‘lack in manhood’ (because a male lacks manhood and he is a psychopath with a clear r@pe ideology if he believes that women/or girls don’t have a right to reject him). Telling such males those alternate terms might actually get some of them to wake up and stop their predatory, psychotic behavior towards women and girls (again, it seemed to have worked on a number of predators that I unfortunately dealt with). But good on you, Oskar, for having the self respect and dignity to be decent to women.