This Twitter Page Collects 50 Of The Most Ridiculous News Headlines Ever Printed Or Shared (New Pics)

Ozzy Osbourne and Alice Cooper?

Parrots can fly?

Karma.

Look for the bear necessities. The simple bear necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife.

He should join the crew on Oak Island.

Sneak: 100

Mmm, cyanide.

Common sense: questionable. Balls: visible from space

NOOOOO MY BRETHREN

That kind of insight only comes with age.

*facepalm*

"So Geoff, what do you like to get up to on the weekend?"

true love?

This is a specialist act you can pay for down in Soho.

Still waiting for that third arm the anti-vaxxers promised me after I got the jab. My dresses don't have pockets.

I do not pitta the man.

This is the dream.

"Oh, no. Oh, thank you, none of that foreign muck. What? Garlic bread? Garlic bread? Garlic? Bread? Am I hearin' you right? Garlic bread? No, thank you, I've got some milk roll in t'case that'll do me. The toasty loaf. The garlic bread!" Peter Kay.

It wasn't already? Damn! All this time I could have been.... wait. Did I say that out loud?

A title one can only aspire to

Murica.

True love

did she really need to prove anything though? really?

Champion.

Darwin Award?

“What you doin’ babe?” “Just chillin’.” “Not after I caught you cheating on me, you ain’t.”

He was hungry

And he thought he'd won the argument ;o)

If you can't tell the difference between a puppy and a ferret then maybe you deserve to be sold ferrets?

I bet it is difficult to p-p-pick up that penguin.

I guess the guy’s SHOTS were just too strong...I’ll see myself out now

Second name Focker?

Stop charging sharks so much for their internet usage then!

Better late than never

Oh that’s fraud..? Gotta break up with 364 of my girlfriends then oops

Next you'll be telling me Finland does not exist.... Wait! What?

"Listen to those majestic lions roaring!" "Woof!"

This is real and has been featured on BP before. Just chalk it down to being Florida. ;-)

Try before you burgle.

This has been a test of the zombie apocalypse warning system. If this had been an actual emergency you would have been instructed to tune in to your local station for further instructions. Repeat. This was only a test.

reverse psychology

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Fake news, there wasn't any bible eating and the guy pictured is a sex offender, but he is not on death row.

no it is not possible to learn... that power is a gift

"I swear, honey, it was CPR. I was legit saving a life!"

Posties take note, this Postman managed to deliver his packages successfully!

Indy's strategy still works.

For the non Brits Harrow is one of the fanciest private schools in the UK, along with Eaton, it is famous for churning out self-important rich twits who own golf courses.

That is so sad

we live in a society...

I have a theory that Florida Man is everywhere, they just have really good news reporters in Florida

I dont think he was hiding it

Ex wife. No, widow

you can't say he wasn't provoked

Those eyes....

This guy must be the guru of sales people!

Amazing insight. I need to do more research but suspect that I might agree with him.

I can’t be the only one that yawned

That was his trouser snake.

So....? Was it a girl or a boy? ...'talk about "burying the lead"!

The story authors clearly haven't heard of the gentleman who prepared and ate 65-year old Jello, or the other gentleman who ate a 153 year-old cracker. Both are fine.

And I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more...

“Lemme outta here, this is nuts!”

It's okay, we have learned Australia does not really exist.

That's not a judge, that's Colonel Sanders.

No s**t Sherlock.

that's equivalent of yelling scissors after a cop asks for your papers

TIL I have severe chronic dementia